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(Herald Tribune) Florida Man arrested for having sex without a license   (heraldtribune.com) divider line 47
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21201 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Nov 2009 at 11:12 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2009-11-06 09:15:05 AM
Hey, if Florida ever started doing this for real, we would all support it.
 
2009-11-06 09:36:25 AM
He is charged with fleeing to elude law enforcement and driving with a suspended license.

As opposed to fleeing just for the heck of it. "Look! A policeman! Run away...run away!"
 
2009-11-06 09:45:36 AM
Diogenes: He is charged with fleeing to elude law enforcement and driving with a suspended license.

As opposed to fleeing just for the heck of it. "Look! A policeman! Run away...run away!"


Turning a probably fine into a felony. Sheesh are people stupid.
 
2009-11-06 09:50:37 AM
Oddly enough, it was the couple's license which drew the attention of the police in the first place.
 
2009-11-06 11:14:44 AM
Now, what if had been having sex with a man in the front seat?
 
2009-11-06 11:15:32 AM
Bad Boy, Bad Boy, watch'a gonna do?
 
2009-11-06 11:15:45 AM
mpm17sausage4u.files.wordpress.com
 
2009-11-06 11:16:43 AM
To be fair, here is the car in question:

www.crazynews.net

...I mean, come on!
 
2009-11-06 11:17:11 AM
proving once again that there's no such thing as free sex.
 
2009-11-06 11:18:42 AM
Simrak St? She musta had implants.
 
2009-11-06 11:20:11 AM
FeFiFoFark: proving once again that there's no such thing as free sex.

I'm married, and I get lots of free sex. I mean if you don't count the fact she doesn't work and has free access to our (see how a married man starts to refer to the money he makes as "our") money.
 
2009-11-06 11:22:13 AM
NightOwl2255: I'm married, and I get lots of free sex. I mean if you don't count the fact she doesn't work and has free access to our (see how a married man starts to refer to the money he makes as "our") money.

Funny, my sister does the same thing and I had no idea she was a man.
 
2009-11-06 11:29:01 AM
Du you have a Lisaunce to spenk thet minkey?
 
2009-11-06 11:31:33 AM
MonkeyAngst: NightOwl2255: I'm married, and I get lots of free sex. I mean if you don't count the fact she doesn't work and has free access to our (see how a married man starts to refer to the money he makes as "our") money.

Funny, my sister does the same thing and I had no idea she was a man.


You're married to your sister?
 
2009-11-06 11:39:17 AM
At least he was caught in North Port. South Port front-seat driving is very uncomfortable, and hard to pull out and flee from.

/Just sayin.
 
2009-11-06 11:39:45 AM
Needing a license to fark is how things work in Obama's America! You were warned, but did you listen? Noooo...


/RTFA
//What a tardo
 
2009-11-06 11:43:22 AM
i257.photobucket.com

won't somebody think of the children!
 
2009-11-06 11:44:12 AM
jn1512: MonkeyAngst: NightOwl2255: I'm married, and I get lots of free sex. I mean if you don't count the fact she doesn't work and has free access to our (see how a married man starts to refer to the money he makes as "our") money.

Funny, my sister does the same thing and I had no idea she was a man.

You're married to your sister?


It's okay, he lives in Arkansas.
 
2009-11-06 11:44:19 AM
playdate: won't somebody think of the children!


Is that a fake? I've seen it before and find it hard to believe.
 
2009-11-06 11:49:14 AM
Diogenes: He is charged with fleeing to elude law enforcement and driving with a suspended license.

As opposed to fleeing just for the heck of it. "Look! A policeman! Run away...run away!"


My cousin and I did that when we snuck out of the house in the middle of the night when we were kids. They chased us and we thought they were gonna shoot us. They called us dumb when they caught us. We said thank you.
 
2009-11-06 11:49:32 AM
Barnstormer: Simrak St? She musta had implants.

Is that like only getting fake relaxation in a forest?
 
2009-11-06 11:49:48 AM
playdate: won't somebody think of the children!


They're just making the kid a playmate.
 
2009-11-06 11:57:27 AM
FTA ...officers said they saw McNear switch places with the woman so she was in the driver's seat...

ROTFL
 
2009-11-06 12:12:32 PM
EggFool: Diogenes: He is charged with fleeing to elude law enforcement and driving with a suspended license.

As opposed to fleeing just for the heck of it. "Look! A policeman! Run away...run away!"

My cousin and I did that when we snuck out of the house in the middle of the night when we were kids. They chased us and we thought they were gonna shoot us. They called us dumb when they caught us. We said thank you.


You had sex with your cousin in a car?
 
2009-11-06 12:22:13 PM
portscanner: EggFool: Diogenes: He is charged with fleeing to elude law enforcement and driving with a suspended license.

As opposed to fleeing just for the heck of it. "Look! A policeman! Run away...run away!"

My cousin and I did that when we snuck out of the house in the middle of the night when we were kids. They chased us and we thought they were gonna shoot us. They called us dumb when they caught us. We said thank you.

You had sex with your cousin in a car?


Oh dear... No! We ran away from the police for no reason. I've got to learn to delete the irrelevant parts when I reply.
 
2009-11-06 12:27:56 PM
Misleading headline is misleading.
 
2009-11-06 12:30:51 PM
EggFool: Diogenes: He is charged with fleeing to elude law enforcement and driving with a suspended license.

As opposed to fleeing just for the heck of it. "Look! A policeman! Run away...run away!"

My cousin and I did that when we snuck out of the house in the middle of the night when we were kids. They chased us and we thought they were gonna shoot us. They called us dumb when they caught us. We said thank you.



One time when we were teenagers my cousin and I actually got in a car chase with a cop. He didn't put his lights on so I don't think he was real concerned about catching us. My cousin made a bunch of turns in a subdivision and we lost the cop.

Cooler story when you are 16.
 
2009-11-06 12:35:11 PM
If he had sex WITH a license, the big hole in the middle would probably invalidate it as an official government document.
 
2009-11-06 12:38:56 PM
rastjr: EggFool: Diogenes:

One time when we were teenagers my cousin and I actually got in a car chase with a cop. He didn't put his lights on so I don't think he was real concerned about catching us. My cousin made a bunch of turns in a subdivision and we lost the cop.

Cooler story when you are 16.


It's still cool, because you didn't end up getting your face smushed into the ground. Although he couldn't have been too worried about it if he didn't have his lights on. He was probably just laughing his ass off the whole time. "Look at the children escaping! Aren't they cute!"
 
2009-11-06 12:43:06 PM
playdate: won't somebody think of the children!

Said it then, & will again...
"What's the problem, occifer? We were just polishing our horn button!"
 
2009-11-06 12:43:11 PM
EggFool: rastjr: EggFool: Diogenes:

One time when we were teenagers my cousin and I actually got in a car chase with a cop. He didn't put his lights on so I don't think he was real concerned about catching us. My cousin made a bunch of turns in a subdivision and we lost the cop.

Cooler story when you are 16.

It's still cool, because you didn't end up getting your face smushed into the ground. Although he couldn't have been too worried about it if he didn't have his lights on. He was probably just laughing his ass off the whole time. "Look at the children escaping! Aren't they cute!"



Get this. The reason he started to chase us was because I threw a tomato at a sign.

I still regret the death of that tomato. Its blood is on my hands.
 
2009-11-06 12:56:18 PM
You should need a license for sex. That way, even basement dwelling WoW players and Farkers would get to take a "road test" and pass. You get to drive a real car when you get your drivers license, right?

Of course, the downside would be the model you'd have to "drive" would probably be a banged up rental. With big old mud flaps.
 
2009-11-06 12:59:23 PM
I've said it before and I'll say it again I'm sure, but I love my town.
 
2009-11-06 01:01:20 PM
Diogenes: He is charged with fleeing to elude law enforcement and driving with a suspended license.

As opposed to fleeing just for the heck of it. "Look! A policeman! Run away...run away!"




That's kind of like when someone gets all up in arms about, or even differentiates between, white slavery, as opposed to just slavery.

Person 1: "There was some slavery going on there."

Person 2: "Meh, I guess that's too bad."

Person 1: "But it was white slavery."

Person 2: "zOMFG that is terrible! They've gone too far!"
 
2009-11-06 01:10:06 PM
...police caught him reportedly having intercourse with a woman...

Did anyone else read that as "repeatedly"?
 
2009-11-06 01:21:53 PM
RABBIT SEASON!

FARK SEASON!

RABBIT SEASON

FARK SEASON!
 
2009-11-06 01:39:41 PM
I thought you just had to have your union card with you. I have to have a license now?
 
2009-11-06 02:25:21 PM
North Port is a notorious speed trap, so he must have finished with her too fast.
 
2009-11-06 02:26:27 PM
marcand: RED SNAPPER SEASON!

BEAVER SEASON!

RED SNAPPER SEASON

BEAVER SEASON!


fixed!
 
2009-11-06 02:50:25 PM
You know what I hate? When you finally get your sex license, and the first girl you try to fark turns into a Rubik's cube.
 
2009-11-06 03:15:54 PM
CravenMorehead: You should need a license for sex. That way, even basement dwelling WoW players and Farkers would get to take a "road test" and pass. You get to drive a real car when you get your drivers license, right?

Of course, the downside would be the model you'd have to "drive" would probably be a banged up rental. With big old mud flaps.


New keyboard, STAT!
 
2009-11-06 03:50:09 PM
CravenMorehead: You should need a license for sex. That way, even basement dwelling WoW players and Farkers would get to take a "road test" and pass. You get to drive a real car when you get your drivers license, right?

Of course, the downside would be the model you'd have to "drive" would probably be a banged up rental. With big old mud flaps.


You don't even want to know whats ground into the carpet mat
 
2009-11-06 03:52:26 PM
CravenMorehead: You should need a license for sex. That way, even basement dwelling WoW players and Farkers would get to take a "road test" and pass. You get to drive a real car when you get your drivers license, right?

Wouldn't help, at least where I live, as you have to provide the car yourself for the road test. And they won't allow a Vespa, the equivalent of one's right hand in this analogy.
 
2009-11-06 03:56:20 PM
The Popes cousin Count Popeula: Misleading headline is misleading.

Came here to say this, more or less. -1 to Subbie, since a minor modification to the headline could replace "for" with "after", making it a true statement and still a twist.
 
2009-11-06 04:00:31 PM
NightOwl2255: FeFiFoFark: proving once again that there's no such thing as free sex.

I'm married, and I get lots of free sex. I mean if you don't count the fact she doesn't work and has free access to our (see how a married man starts to refer to the money he makes as "our") money.


I foresee a long and happy marriage, as your wife will never catch on to your cynical view of this exchange.
 
2009-11-06 08:42:58 PM
rastjr [TotalFark] 2009-11-06 11:44:19 AM
playdate: won't somebody think of the children!


Is that a fake? I've seen it before and find it hard to believe.


Gotta be fake - who would screw the owner of a little shiatbox like that other than the salesman?
 
2009-11-07 04:15:14 AM
Hello Citizens. We're now going to be testing you for your sex liciense. You are to appear nude and have your sex materials ready. Qualified applicants will be giving a 1 year renewable liciense while the failed applicants will be BUSTED and made to retake the exams.

Thanks
Mr False Arrests
Sex Admin,
U.S Department of Sex
 
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