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(Washington Post)   75% of potential U.S. military recruits have the perfect physique and temperament to answer the Call of Duty   (washingtonpost.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious  
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17340 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Nov 2009 at 12:50 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-11-05 11:55:58 AM  
And many who do still fail the military's version of the SAT, known as the Armed Forces Qualification Test.

I have never taken this test, but my understanding of it is that it makes people who can even minimally pass the SAT look like Rhodes Scholars.
 
2009-11-05 12:00:27 PM  
The other 25% give to the Marines.

They'll shape'em up or run them out.
 
2009-11-05 12:11:58 PM  

Pocket Ninja: And many who do still fail the military's version of the SAT, known as the Armed Forces Qualification Test.

I have never taken this test, but my understanding of it is that it makes people who can even minimally pass the SAT look like Rhodes Scholars.


Very true.
 
2009-11-05 12:24:15 PM  

Pocket Ninja: And many who do still fail the military's version of the SAT, known as the Armed Forces Qualification Test.

I have never taken this test, but my understanding of it is that it makes people who can even minimally pass the SAT look like Rhodes Scholars.


It used to be called the ASVAB, for Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery. I didn't realize they changed the name of it. It is ridiculously easy. Here are some sample questions, if you're interested. I think you get three or fours to finish it, but I knocked it out in 45 minutes, and that was with a massive hangover.

Some fat Navy petty officer yelled at me for finishing too quickly, and for not taking it seriously. Then he pulled up my grade, paused for an incredibly long time, refused to make eye contact with me, and quietly told me to go to the break room and wait for everybody else to finish.

It was pretty hilarious, we had a group of Marine infantry recruits, who were taking it on their second or third time. They had finally scored the bare minimum for Infantry, and were hugging each other like they just won the Super Bowl.

Failing to make the cut-off for infantry is like being outsmarted by that "The cow says..." game.
 
2009-11-05 12:30:10 PM  
Smart/in-shape people go to college &/or get good jobs.

Smart/fat people go to college &/or get bad jobs.

Stupid/in-shape people join the military.

Stupid/fat people = the other 75% of the country.


/Yes; I'm trollin' so don't get all up ons
 
2009-11-05 12:33:58 PM  

Sgt Otter: It is ridiculously easy. Here are some sample questions, if you're interested.


Wow, you're not kidding...

Small most nearly means

A. sturdy.
B. round.
C. cheap.
D. little.
 
2009-11-05 12:43:25 PM  

schattenteufel: Smart/in-shape people go to college &/or get good jobs.

Smart/fat people go to college &/or get bad jobs.

Stupid/in-shape people join the military.

Stupid/fat people = the other 75% of the country.


/Yes; I'm trollin' so don't get all up ons


I don't even know what that means!
 
2009-11-05 12:46:39 PM  

Sgt Otter: It is ridiculously easy. Here are some sample questions, if you're interested.


What does the abbreviation A.C. stand for?

A. additional charge.
B. alternating coil.
C. alternating current.
D. ampere current.


I did not know that.

Sgt Otter: It was pretty hilarious, we had a group of Marine infantry recruits, who were taking it on their second or third time.


They don't pay them to think.
 
2009-11-05 12:51:59 PM  
TOo much time eating Doritos and playing COD
 
2009-11-05 12:52:43 PM  
First line of the Article:

It's tough enough selling military service to teenagers who might not be so keen on getting their heads shaved or buy the whole "we do more by 9 a.m." line.

Yeah, cause selling them on dying hasn't ever been a problem.
 
2009-11-05 12:53:31 PM  
We could always just do what the Canadians and Brits do. I spent a few weeks at a Canadian/British base this summer and this site was not uncommon:

blogs.pitch.com
 
2009-11-05 12:54:23 PM  

Blowmonkey: First line of the Article:

It's tough enough selling military service to teenagers who might not be so keen on getting their heads shaved or buy the whole "we do more by 9 a.m." line.

Yeah, cause selling them on dying hasn't ever been a problem.


To be fair, most don't die, although they may wish they were dead.
 
2009-11-05 12:54:51 PM  
Welcome to the "Snowflake" generation.
 
2009-11-05 12:54:57 PM  
This article explain a lot about the american Farkers.
 
2009-11-05 12:55:03 PM  

sweetmelissa31: Sgt Otter: It is ridiculously easy. Here are some sample questions, if you're interested.

Wow, you're not kidding...

Small most nearly means

A. sturdy.
B. round.
C. cheap.
D. little.


Oh!! I know! B!
 
2009-11-05 12:55:05 PM  
Well, here's an idea, up the max enlistment age and let all the wannabee weekend warriors who think this country and is going to pot cause kids wont stay off their lawn sign up and make a difference.
 
2009-11-05 12:55:20 PM  
An article about fat, stupid people set in type for BLIND PEOPLE.

Jeez. Was that the geriatric edition of the Post?
 
2009-11-05 12:55:28 PM  
APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/y8fdbpb
(copy and paste, NSFW)
 
2009-11-05 12:55:55 PM  
We hire fat retards to be cops, why not soldiers?
 
2009-11-05 12:56:07 PM  
Meh, they're also too damn picky about who they will accept.

I was in already when I was 18 till I was 20. They screwed me over on my contract, which led to depression, and then got rid of me.

Tried to get back in several times but figured it's not worth jumping through their hoops to prove the depression is no longer a concern (never successfully proved it was their fault anyway). Besides, they still look down on the whole pole smoker thing.

Anyway, in the intervening years, I've become more Buddhist, and after reading "War is a Racket" figure military is just a waste of money and time anyway.

It was a family tradition, and I'm kind of glad it ends with me.
 
2009-11-05 12:56:11 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2009-11-05 12:56:28 PM  

belowner: We hire fat retards to be cops, why not soldiers?


No donuts in war zones.
 
2009-11-05 12:56:55 PM  
i260.photobucket.com
 
2009-11-05 12:56:59 PM  
www.lightsoutfilms.com

/don't worry
 
2009-11-05 12:57:08 PM  
i39.photobucket.com
 
2009-11-05 12:57:37 PM  
I knew a kid that got a 93 on the ASVAD. Dumb as a rock.

Book smarts Common Sense
 
2009-11-05 12:57:48 PM  

Doc Loliday: /don't worry


goddamnit
 
2009-11-05 12:58:27 PM  

schattenteufel: Smart/in-shape people go to college &/or get good jobs.

Smart/fat people go to college &/or get bad jobs.

Stupid/in-shape people join the military.

Stupid/fat people = the other 75% of the country.


/Yes; I'm trollin' so don't get all up ons


It's not trolling if it's true. Well at least by my definition of trolling :D
 
2009-11-05 12:58:31 PM  
Humans in the military are all gonna be replaced by robots in the next couple years anyways, so I don't see the problem here.
 
2009-11-05 12:59:04 PM  
Future weapons specialist (new window)

*crinkle crinkle*
 
2009-11-05 12:59:10 PM  
"But according to a new report, there are other factors that make recruiters' jobs even more difficult: the country's poor education system..."

If it weren't for the country's poor education system, they wouldn't have HALF as many patriotic machines willing to travel to foreign lands and shoot non-aggressors without asking a single question.
 
2009-11-05 12:59:36 PM  

St_Francis_P: belowner: We hire fat retards to be cops, why not soldiers?

No donuts in war zones.


So just unload a few boxes of donuts into the battle field and watch the fat retards leap out possibly with a parachute on.
 
2009-11-05 12:59:46 PM  
poorly educated, overweight and have physical ailments that make them unfit

This is what happens when you have the best schools and finest health care system in the world.
 
2009-11-05 12:59:58 PM  

what_now:

What does the abbreviation A.C. stand for?

A. additional charge.
B. alternating coil.
C. alternating current.
D. ampere current.

I did not know that.



it's important knowledge to have if you are going to hook someone's testicle's up to electricity!


/my brother's 3rd special forces, he was formerly 82nd airborne FO
//laughed his arse off at how easy the ASVAB was
///then the screwed him out of his G.I. Bill college benefits
 
2009-11-05 01:00:39 PM  
I took the ASVAB and got like 99% - thought it was almost easier than the high school exit exam.
 
2009-11-05 01:01:12 PM  

RamblinReck89: Humans in the military are all gonna be replaced by robots in the next couple years anyways, so I don't see the problem here.


Sees a problem here.
www.oliviamunn.com
 
2009-11-05 01:01:48 PM  
I finished the ASVAB in 45 minutes and scored a 99 (the max you can score). My GT score was higher than anyone in my battalion including the brigade commander.

As the PAC NCO I got to see GT scores. It made me worry that I was going to war with a bunch of dumbasses.
 
2009-11-05 01:01:49 PM  
a715.ac-images.myspacecdn.com
 
2009-11-05 01:01:50 PM  

CPT Ethanolic: We could always just do what the Canadians and Brits do. I spent a few weeks at a Canadian/British base this summer and this site was not uncommon:


That is the kind of guy you want defending the Yukon Territories.
 
2009-11-05 01:02:10 PM  
"Other factors, such as drug use, criminal records and mental problems, contribute to what military leaders say is a major problem..."

Wait...mental problems?

So Arlo Guthrie was LYING to me?
 
2009-11-05 01:02:12 PM  

Tatsuhiko: St_Francis_P: belowner: We hire fat retards to be cops, why not soldiers?

No donuts in war zones.

So just unload a few boxes of donuts into the battle field and watch the fat retards leap out possibly with a parachute on.


It gives a whole new meaning to "crushing the enemy".
 
2009-11-05 01:02:32 PM  
i understand the stupid aspect, but is it really a problem that so many recruits are too damn fat?

i mean, isn't that what boot camp is for, to slim 'em down so they fit the uniform? (yes, i understand there's more to it than that) I'd look at the military as a good solution to the US's obesity crisis. maybe ENCOURAGE fatties to join up, so that they slim down in the military.

it's like killing 4 birds with one stone:

1. more recruits
2. less fatties
3. more employed people
4. less disability claims/health insurance

i mean, true, all of those would be minor, but nothing bad could come of it. this is at least 90% more sane than alternative fixes i've thought of (like making it illegal to be fat).
 
2009-11-05 01:02:39 PM  
www.motifake.com

I've actually seen this guy in person. He's from the Washington State National Guard.
 
2009-11-05 01:02:46 PM  

gorgor: APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/y8fdbpb
(copy and paste, NSFW)


You're the best when we don't look for you.
 
2009-11-05 01:02:54 PM  

Sgt Otter: Pocket Ninja: And many who do still fail the military's version of the SAT, known as the Armed Forces Qualification Test.

I have never taken this test, but my understanding of it is that it makes people who can even minimally pass the SAT look like Rhodes Scholars.

It used to be called the ASVAB, for Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery. I didn't realize they changed the name of it. It is ridiculously easy. Here are some sample questions, if you're interested. I think you get three or fours to finish it, but I knocked it out in 45 minutes, and that was with a massive hangover.

Some fat Navy petty officer yelled at me for finishing too quickly, and for not taking it seriously. Then he pulled up my grade, paused for an incredibly long time, refused to make eye contact with me, and quietly told me to go to the break room and wait for everybody else to finish.

It was pretty hilarious, we had a group of Marine infantry recruits, who were taking it on their second or third time. They had finally scored the bare minimum for Infantry, and were hugging each other like they just won the Super Bowl.

Failing to make the cut-off for infantry is like being outsmarted by that "The cow says..." game.


I'm going to call bullshiat on this one. I'd believe that you finished the MATH portion very rapidly, or maybe the General/Technical or a specific SECTION quickly, but the overall test was divided up in to specific, timed sections. Overall, it took maybe 3-4 hours max but each test was individually timed.

So maybe try revising your little bullshiat story, son.

GT score 110.
 
2009-11-05 01:03:07 PM  
FTA: To combat the problem, a group of retired military leaders has joined Education Secretary Arne Duncan to call for greater investment in early education, which advocates say helps boost academic achievement and social development.

1980s America: Let's cut education funding and spend it on the military!

2000s America: Crap, now we don't have anyone qualified to be in the military!

Reap what you sow.
 
2009-11-05 01:03:48 PM  

Sgt Otter: Pocket Ninja:It is called the ASVAB, for Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery.


FTFY

The AFQT is a raw score to gauge overall performance on the battery of ten tests that make up the ASVAB. The test gauges knowledge and ability to gain new knowledge in the focus subjects. To qualify for a certain job, you have to have a minimum combined score in one or more battery areas (most require two or three, some require more).
 
2009-11-05 01:03:52 PM  

Sgt Otter: Pocket Ninja: And many who do still fail the military's version of the SAT, known as the Armed Forces Qualification Test.

I have never taken this test, but my understanding of it is that it makes people who can even minimally pass the SAT look like Rhodes Scholars.

It used to be called the ASVAB, for Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery. I didn't realize they changed the name of it. It is ridiculously easy. Here are some sample questions, if you're interested. I think you get three or fours to finish it, but I knocked it out in 45 minutes, and that was with a massive hangover.

Some fat Navy petty officer yelled at me for finishing too quickly, and for not taking it seriously. Then he pulled up my grade, paused for an incredibly long time, refused to make eye contact with me, and quietly told me to go to the break room and wait for everybody else to finish.

It was pretty hilarious, we had a group of Marine infantry recruits, who were taking it on their second or third time. They had finally scored the bare minimum for Infantry, and were hugging each other like they just won the Super Bowl.

Failing to make the cut-off for infantry is like being outsmarted by that "The cow says..." game.


Well, ya know, I aced that test too, and there are a lot of people in the military who had a problem doing well on it but have a lot of common sense, and are a success in the military. A lot of those guys knew a lot of things I didn't. People have different aptitudes for different tasks. Of course, a few of them were just dumbasses; you will get that everywhere.
 
2009-11-05 01:03:58 PM  

dolphinburger: i understand the stupid aspect, but is it really a problem that so many recruits are too damn fat?

i mean, isn't that what boot camp is for, to slim 'em down so they fit the uniform? (yes, i understand there's more to it than that) I'd look at the military as a good solution to the US's obesity crisis. maybe ENCOURAGE fatties to join up, so that they slim down in the military.

it's like killing 4 birds with one stone:

1. more recruits
2. less fatties
3. more employed people
4. less disability claims/health insurance

i mean, true, all of those would be minor, but nothing bad could come of it. this is at least 90% more sane than alternative fixes i've thought of (like making it illegal to be fat).


a lot of those fatties would die from the first day of basic.
 
2009-11-05 01:04:13 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: The other 25% give to the Marines.

They'll shape'em up or run them out.


Obligatory...

static.funnyjunk.com
 
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