It's like Hollywood is PROUD of being out of ideas...

A "Ouiji" board movie makes sense, easy horror movie potential, actually I'm sure there have been more than a few past horror movies that tied in a Ouigi board.. this one will just be called "Ouiji", and the board will have slightly more to do with the plot.

I never played or got into MTG, but, it is almost surprising a movie HASN'T been made from it yet, considering all the other fantasy movies that have come out based on other games.

The other ones are really just stretching to make a storyline out of a board game.

SFX: Heavy footfalls, shaking the entire theater
SFX: Hideous crunching sounds.

Fade up from Black onto:
TV LIVE SHOT. A REPORTER is in the foreground, with an utterly devastated Times Square behind him. Bodies are strewn about, and huge swaths of the buildings are torn to shreds.

REPORTER
...government officials can't tell us what caused this dramatic change in behavior (he pauses, his eyes going wide) Oh my God...

SFX: Heavy footballs

The camera begins shaking and is suddenly knocked aside, laying on the pavement. We can't see what is happening, but we hear hideous screams before the camera cuts out.

CUT TO:
Interior, basement of a suburban home. The power is off and a swinging camping lantern offers the only light, casting a family in moving shadows. A MOTHER holds a LITTLE GIRL in her arms -- more for her own comfort than the child's.

MOTHER (nearly hysterical)
Why...why won't they go away?

CUT TO:
Interior, military base. A GENERAL and a WHITE HOUSE AIDE look at scenes of destruction on monitors. The GENERAL is pale. The AIDE is furious

AIDE
You told me you could stop these things! What the hell happened?

GENERAL
Everything we've thrown at them they've shrugged off. Every soldier who faced them was...(he trails off, horrified). I...I don't think we're going to be able to stop them.

CUT TO:
Black screen. Fade in graphics by line
They've waited long enough for dinner to be served

CUT TO:
Interior, basement. The lantern has stopped swinging, and it is eerily quiet. Close-up on the LITTLE GIRL

LITTLE GIRL
Maybe...maybe they're finally full?

Massive crashing sounds and screams as the lantern goes black along with the screen

CUT TO: Black screen with graphics, line-by-line

HUNGRY, HUNGRY HIPPOS

CUT TO: Black screen

SUMMER 2014
IT'S FEEDING TIME

Fade to black

Mr. Coffee Nerves: SUMMER 2014
IT'S FEEDING TIME

Oh man. Someone at least needs to make that TRAILER. That was great!

ragekage: Mr. Coffee Nerves: HUNGRY, HUNGRY HIPPOS

CUT TO: Black screen

SUMMER 2014
IT'S FEEDING TIME

Fade to black

Simpsons Robot Chicken did it. Amazing how prescient they were.

Dammit!!! I missed that one. Great, now I'm going to get sued by Seth Green again -- and this time I don't have the "you can't PROVE that's my semen" defense.

Monopoly: grade-A stupid, if it really has anything to do with the board game.

Clue: It's already been done, you idiots! And the old movie was about as good as it's ever going to get! Just leave it alone!

Battleship: If I can see 400-feet-tall CGI red pegs sticking out the top of an air-craft carrier, then this movie might be worth renting.

Ouija Board: This is the only one is a somewhat good idea, but I have my doubts that it would be worth shelling out the money to see it in a theater.

Stretch Armstrong: This will be as good of a movie as Garfield the Cat.

ViewMaster: Just farking kill me now. This has GOT to be a sign of the apocalypse.

Risk: Stupid and boring. But I look forward to the great Battle of Kamchatka and the giant roman numerals fighting it out with each other.

Candy Land: Kids under the age of 3 might like this movie. Kids under the age of 3 shouldn't be going to movies, though. Don't you get ENOUGH visual stimulation through the TV's your parents put you in front of 10 hours a day?

Magic: The Gathering: I've never liked the card game, and I am sure I won't like the lame storyline that they create around it.

Electric_Banana: Oujia board was already made into a movie. Witchboard.

And when was it unfashionable in Hollywood to remake 20 year old movies and TV shows?

As far as some of the other ones that sound like craziness on the surface....

Candy Land could go in two directions..... one being very much for the preschool set that everyone else is envisioning. The other being more of a "Willy Wonka/Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" mashup where there is a bit more panic and drama about getting through the "candy forest". Nothing says a Candy Land movie has to be for 4 year old's.

I'm really trying to stretch with Viewmaster. If they decided to not make all these movies as "kid" movies, I could maybe see a "Viewmaster" movie where somehow a viewmaster reel, instead of pictures of National Monuments or Dora the Explorer, gets someones murder scene photos, and some sort of story around that. Or maybe some sort of "possessed" Viewmaster that predicts the future, and shows people going to their deaths. Kind of a creepier "Early Edition".

Viewmaster? Candy Land? WTF. Stupid Hollywood. >=(

Aboleth: No Blood Bowl?

I miss my Dark Elf team.

/Goes back to Fumbbl.com

Electric_Banana: How about an Oregon Trail movie?

Only if everyone dies from dysentery. Then I can laugh maniacally while the rest of the theater cries their eyes out.