It's good this didn't go red

/+1

Yellow ;)

Was the driver white or black?

I worked for R.P.S. (now FedEx Ground) for a summer and they encouraged drivers to turn in suspicious packages.They wanted no part of illegal contraband shipments.

purple

"It's nice to know UPS can guarantee delivery to drug dealers and fire employees that refuse to deliver their drugs," Porter told the Detroit News.

Yes, yes it is.

Are we now playing Trivia Pursuit?

me texan: Nice try skippy. Next time dont pretend you're law enforcement and report it to them directly if you think your company is wrong.

But we all really know you were just holding it for yourself knowing that no one would step up to report it lost.

Uh, did you miss the part where he called the DEA about the package?

Win

Scarlet indigo fuchsia violet? Gamboge lilac! HAHA!

/Xanadu sienna teal +1

Cndn Bacon: me texan: Nice try skippy. Next time dont pretend you're law enforcement and report it to them directly if you think your company is wrong.

But we all really know you were just holding it for yourself knowing that no one would step up to report it lost.

Uh, did you miss the part where he called the DEA about the package?

He didn't call the DEA. His supervisors called the DEA when the driver kept the package. The wording in the link is unclear, but the original article in Detroit News was more clear on that.

subby's headline sounds like Richard Pryor naming the colors like he did the alphabet on Sesame Street...just sayin'

The idiocy here is the driver. How did he know there was pot in the package? Granted, it came from Arizona; traffickers us FedEx all the time. But beyond the return address, he had no way of knowing what was in the package.
My guess is, he suspected it had pot, stole it, then biatched because someone (stupidly) complained then went to the Feds.

Knucklepopper: The idiocy here is the driver. How did he know there was pot in the package? Granted, it came from Arizona; traffickers us FedEx all the time. But beyond the return address, he had no way of knowing what was in the package.
My guess is, he suspected it had pot, stole it, then biatched because someone (stupidly) complained then went to the Feds.

Driver never went to the feds.

Sometimes a boss' orders can be a little too by-the-book, as a UPS driver who was fired for not delivering a package of marijuana found out this summer.

WTF is this guy talking about? By the book? Well, yeah. You got a package to deliver, you deliver it. What was "suspicious" about it? Was it stamped "FRAGILE: Marijuana inside?" What inspired this driver to play junior crimebuster? Is he just one of those people that gets off on snitching?

Indolent: platkat: Orange you all glad this made it to the main page?

I would have been blue if it hadn't.

Me too, it's my first green!

He got fired because he didn't do his job. His job is delivering packages. It's not his job to act like TSA and open stuff that doesn't belong to him.

tbyte: Driver never went to the feds.

Written somewhat ambiguous but you're right. Still, what could possibly have made him suspicious enough to not deliver the package but take it instead.

jaylectricity: Driver for brown fails to deliver the green, is now blue after getting the pink

So in the end, he got laid?

That's what I thought, too.

The driver was right to open the package on authority of his own suspicions. Sure, he could have gone through the system, but given time to build a case, 9 out of 10 times the purple walk.

"I love the Fed-Ex man, he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it."

-Mitch Hedberg

Knucklepopper: tbyte: Driver never went to the feds.

Written somewhat ambiguous but you're right. Still, what could possibly have made him suspicious enough to not deliver the package but take it instead.

Knucklepopper: tbyte: Driver never went to the feds.

Written somewhat ambiguous but you're right. Still, what could possibly have made him suspicious enough to not deliver the package but take it instead.

If I had to bet, I'd say he was the intended recipient. The Detroit News article said he "was unable to re-key the keypad" and UPS started asking questions about what happened to it.

Just leave your supplier in Arizona a message about what route you're driving in the morning, they send it to a random address on your route, and you keep it. Sounds like a pretty solid plan until you mess up the keypad.

S you in your A's. Don't wear a C and J all over your B's.

Poor guy was in a no-win situation. Since he knew or at least strongly suspected there was drugs in the package, he probably worried that he'd be an accessory to the crime.

Knucklepopper: tbyte: Driver never went to the feds.

Written somewhat ambiguous but you're right. Still, what could possibly have made him suspicious enough to not deliver the package but take it instead.

Wanting to have 4 lbs of pot.

Came for the super-hot-brown-delivery-chick photo.
(thx SHOGUNTHEASSASSIN)

/leaving
//satisfaction to ensue in 3..2..1

Four pound package? It's missing a key element.

I wonder what was so suspicious about the package to tip him off?

Drug traffickers use Tucson, Ariz., all the time to send packages of weed from. The problem is they use other people's Tucson addresses as the return address. So last summer, my buddy gets home from work to find a package on his porch. He's paranoid, I guess rightly so, so he called USPS who told him the package was being delivered to a non-existent address and they returned it to sender so fark off.
So he called the cops. Cop shows up, opens the box. Twenty-four pounds of weed packed into Ziploc bags stuffed inside 6 paint cans, the whole thing packed with styrofoam peanuts. He goes nuts, calls me in the middle of the night. Turns out the idiots were shipping to an address in Holyoak, Mass., but spelled it "Holyoke." Nobody ever said traffickers were genius.
Someone's gonna want their weed back. That 24 pounds wholesales in Tucson for some $14K. The cops shrug it off. They got bigger issues than a crime that doesn't happen yet. Nothing's gonna happen, the cop tells him. I'm thinking, "home invasion time."
I went over with an AR-15, he had a shotgun. We stayed up all night drinking coffee, waiting.
I called a source at DEA, he says "oh yeah, same thing happened to one of my agents here. They used her address. Don't sweat it. Cost of doing business for them."
Jesus.
Finally, a day passes. We've been tracking the USPS package online and it's saying "Returned to Sender."
Waiting and waiting. Finally, a guy shows up, wearing a polo, slacks and a baseball cap emblazoned with the Mexican flag. (Pura Sinaloa!)
I stood at a side window, holding the gun on him, watching for his backup. A 300lx with spinning rims is sitting about a block away.
Buddy opens the door.
"Hallo. I'm weeth the U.S. Postal Service. I'm here to peek up a pakij."
"The police have the package. Okay?" my buddy says.
He just stares at him.
"Okay?" my buddy says again. I'm still watching the car. It's starting to move toward the house.
Guy turns around and walks away.
When the police report was ready, we made photocopies of the thing highlighted the relevant parts and pasted it in all the windows.
Poor bastard didn't sleep for a week.
It was fun.

is now blue after getting the pink

Usually I am blue after not getting the pink.

Knucklepopper: Turns out the idiots were shipping to an address in Holyoak, Mass., but spelled it "Holyoke." .

Cool story bro, but a long as the zip code is right, you can spell it 'horycloak' and it still should be delivered.

After reading the original article its obvious that UPS is lying. They don't send text messages about packages not delivered because they don't care. UPS is just a bunch of useless lying crap-bags.

great headline subby!

if we'd just legalize pot this wouldn't even be an issue.

i'm blue cause i want green. :(

nirwana: Knucklepopper: Turns out the idiots were shipping to an address in Holyoak, Mass., but spelled it "Holyoke." .

Cool story bro, but a long as the zip code is right, you can spell it 'horycloak' and it still should be delivered.

Also, the correct spelling is Holyoke (life-long Masshole)
/Still a cool story bro

Vintowin: Also, the correct spelling is Holyoke (life-long Masshole)

Why do I remember it so clearly the other way around. Maybe I'm not the genius.

Another article says that he delivered the package, then took it back, and then later decided to open it because he saw a wad of packaging sticking out. He didn't call his supervisors until after he opened the package.

He got what he deserved. You don't open packages because you're suspicious of the contents. You don't undeliver a package because you've got a theory about the contents.

This dude was looking to steal something.


Link (new window)

Sold a truck on eBay to a guy from another state. He flew in to pick it up and sent his pistol via Fed Ex to our car lot.

Fed Ex held the package. He had to go to their office and arrange to ship it to a licensed gun dealer near his home ("This is B.S., it wasn't even loaded!").

Q: How did Fed Ex know? Do they x-ray everything?