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(STV.tv)   Drunk Scotsman challenges lamp post to fight   (news.stv.tv) divider line 74
    More: Amusing, lamp post, sheriff court, community service, pleas, innocence  
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9562 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Nov 2009 at 6:29 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



74 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2009-11-05 06:35:20 AM  
Fighting lamp posts isn't normal, but on meth it is.
 
2009-11-05 06:35:53 AM  
Sounds a lot like last night...

/stay out of my head STV!
 
2009-11-05 06:35:54 AM  
My people. My heritage. My swollen pride.

/in before the haggis jokes
 
2009-11-05 06:37:06 AM  
I fought the lamp post and the lamp post won!
 
2009-11-05 06:37:56 AM  
It was a UFO.

img97.imageshack.us
 
2009-11-05 06:38:51 AM  
He'll conclude his battle next Wednesday when he encounters the Last Post.
 
2009-11-05 06:40:12 AM  
it was cheaper than fighting a real person
 
2009-11-05 06:40:31 AM  
Was it because of a blue ribbon?
 
2009-11-05 06:42:31 AM  
Fought it? He damn near KILT it
 
2009-11-05 06:43:19 AM  
Approves

www.spscriptorium.com
 
2009-11-05 06:46:18 AM  
Random unsolicited aggression?

i242.photobucket.com
 
2009-11-05 06:55:27 AM  
On lookers said the man exclaimed " I'll kilt ya" and then proceeded to give the lamp post the thrashing that was called for.
 
2009-11-05 06:57:28 AM  
See you Jimmy!
 
2009-11-05 06:58:01 AM  
Friggin' lamp posts, always shining their lights up in your face like that, I figure they have it coming.
 
2009-11-05 07:11:11 AM  
Isn't 'Scotsman' and 'Drunk' redundant?
 
2009-11-05 07:13:49 AM  
Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See young sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards a tree
Behind a bush, he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize
 
2009-11-05 07:21:22 AM  
please accept this shortbread


i'm sorry, i don't have any lard to dip it in
 
2009-11-05 07:21:22 AM  
Closed_Minded_Bastage: Isn't 'Scotsman' and 'Drunk' redundant?

Hey, I resemble that.
 
2009-11-05 07:26:37 AM  
Came for the pithy posts. Leaving VERY disappointed.
 
2009-11-05 07:29:40 AM  
Hey, hey, *hick* hey, I saw youu... Lookin at my sheep *hick*, you skinny ffffffarker. *hick* get that light outta my...ffface you ass*hick*hole. You want to have a go *hick* mate?
 
2009-11-05 07:41:44 AM  
The lamp post was askin' for it.
 
2009-11-05 08:01:41 AM  
Groundskeeper Willie: It won't last. Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!

Principal Skinner: You Scots sure are a contentious people.

Groundskeeper Willie: You just made an enemy for life!
 
2009-11-05 08:17:25 AM  
So who won?
 
2009-11-05 08:20:49 AM  
the first rule of light club is ........
 
2009-11-05 08:25:41 AM  
There are no innocent lamp posts.
 
2009-11-05 08:26:05 AM  
Not to threadjack, but I notice a lot of "drunk" stories on Fark recently - usually where the law gets called in and the person has to be arrested. Rarely do I hear a story about someone who smoked pot being charged with disorderly conduct or anything else, which, to me, seems pretty indicative of some warped values and drug laws in American-Euro culture.

just sayin'
 
2009-11-05 08:26:54 AM  
Getting lamped by a drunk is always a risk in Perth.
 
2009-11-05 08:29:10 AM  
*shrug* I've seen a drunk at least 4 nights a week, bump into random things and punch them several times while cussing them out. Poor defenseless trashcans, dumpsters, lightposts, cars, telephone polls, mailboxes, chain link fences, glass doors, sign posts.....
 
2009-11-05 08:29:44 AM  
Don Quixote approves?
 
2009-11-05 08:36:54 AM  
Although really, who here hasn't challenged (or at least wanted to challenge) some sort of inanimate object to a fight while drinking?
 
2009-11-05 08:38:31 AM  
I can see he won first prize!
 
2009-11-05 08:44:23 AM  
 
2009-11-05 08:46:07 AM  
Closed_Minded_Bastage: Isn't 'Scotsman' and 'Drunk' redundant?


Was looking for this
 
2009-11-05 08:46:16 AM  
This goes Green?

REALLY?
 
2009-11-05 08:50:39 AM  
zenprowler: the first rule of light club is ........

Win. Big win.
 
2009-11-05 08:51:08 AM  
Closed_Minded_Bastage: Isn't 'Scotsman' and 'Drunk' redundant?

More or less this

/Scots and Irish
//Cut us and we bleed 40 proof
 
2009-11-05 08:51:09 AM  
Should have used the img1.fark.net tag
 
2009-11-05 08:51:16 AM  
FTA:

"Drunken David Robinson turned on the innocent streetlight..."

Total misundertanding here. He was just switching on the power. And his first name just happens to be 'Drunken', m'lud.
 
2009-11-05 08:52:09 AM  
img213.imageshack.us
 
2009-11-05 08:59:22 AM  
I love the ad that slipped through my adblock. I'm guessing Scotland needs to run this after every weekend to replace all the folks in jail "sleeping it off".

files.stv.tv
 
2009-11-05 09:01:20 AM  
Cool story, bro:

At my university we have a section in the newspaper about people who have had interactions with the authorities (read: gotten drunk and/or high on or near campus to the point cops had to deal with them). The other day there was one about a drunken fellow who was yelling obscenities at a stop sign whilst punching it. Alcohol was involved.

/Cool story
//Not really
 
2009-11-05 09:01:57 AM  
Kyro: It was a UFO.

i33.tinypic.com
 
2009-11-05 09:02:15 AM  
This is "news?"
 
2009-11-05 09:09:06 AM  
I've fought lamposts, trees, mailboxes, brick walls, windows, furniture, floors, doors, railings, appliances, home electronics, piles of dirt, rocks, air, musical instruments, power tools, dumpsters, sidewalks, steel lockers, drywall, cardboard boxes, cars, bikes and blah fricken blah blah blah...

They don't feel jack sh*t and my knuckles are covered in scar tissue. What have I learned? I'm an idiot and chicks dig scarred up psychopaths.

/DNRTFA
 
2009-11-05 09:13:51 AM  
Is there a different kind of Scots man other than drunk? Because that headline is a bit redundant.
 
2009-11-05 09:16:25 AM  
LazerFish: O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize

Link (new window)
 
2009-11-05 09:17:24 AM  
Closed_Minded_Bastage: Isn't 'Scotsman' and 'Drunk' redundant?

then....

epyonyx: Is there a different kind of Scots man other than drunk? Because that headline is a bit redundant.


Your post is redundant.
 
2009-11-05 09:17:26 AM  
No true Scotsman would have left that lamppost standing.
 
2009-11-05 09:18:23 AM  
brandied: This is "news?"

No, it's....not.
 
2009-11-05 09:18:56 AM  
Jimmy's getting angry: No true Scotsman would have left that lamppost standing.

Ripped it out of the ground and tossed the damn thing like a caber
 
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