FARK.com: (4747732) Henry VIII was apparently the world's first steam-punk

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		Henry VIII was apparently the world's first steam-punk (independent.co.uk)		73
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24980 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Nov 2009 at 3:46 PM | Favorite | share:

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PacManDreaming

2009-11-04 02:38:23 PM

FTFA: "...this type of weapon was called a holy water sprinkler, on the basis that it bore a slight resemblance to the object used by priests to sprinkle holy water at church"

It also caused your head to sprinkle "holy water" when you got smacked with it.

Personally, I would've gone with a bec de corbin:

i33.tinypic.com

doublesecretprobation

2009-11-04 02:52:14 PM

you don't know what that means, do you subby?

AldoRaine

2009-11-04 03:28:13 PM

The man was a genius. He invented alimony-less divorce too.

ChimpMitten

2009-11-04 03:49:48 PM

AldoRaine: The man was a genius. He invented alimony-less divorce too.

and discovered how to get head from your wife.

AspectRatio

2009-11-04 03:50:57 PM

Headso

2009-11-04 03:50:58 PM

neato

Rev. Skarekroe

2009-11-04 03:51:29 PM

ChimpMitten: AldoRaine: The man was a genius. He invented alimony-less divorce too.

and discovered how to get head from your wife.

And he wrote Greensleeves.
What a guy!

Somaticasual

2009-11-04 03:51:52 PM

For the 16th century, that is ridiculously cool

Kriegshund

2009-11-04 03:53:37 PM

That's not a bec. That's a footman's hammer. A bec de corbin is a pole arm, and is much longer then what's in that picture. Like this one: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Bec_de_Corbin.jpg

mmagdalene

2009-11-04 03:53:50 PM

AldoRaine: The man was a genius. He invented alimony-less divorce too.

When you can get Hans Holbein to decorate your oversized codpiece, yeah, I think you pretty much qualify as a master of the universe.

Wookie Milson

2009-11-04 03:54:20 PM

/approves

vudukungfu

2009-11-04 04:00:38 PM

mmagdalene: Hans Holbein to decorate your oversized codpiece

Mine has a forked tongue that unravels like a yew year's noise maker. Right out of the devils mouth.
/Yeah, they have mixed feelings about that one at the ren fairs.
//You can't wear that here.
///How does it work? How did you make it?

A-Rth-Urp-Hil-Ipdenu

2009-11-04 04:01:40 PM

I wonder why the makers of The Tudors decided not to include this aspect of Henry VIII as part of the TV series.

Not that they were aiming for total historical accuracy, mind. That said, I think the show is still pretty good although at times it does feel way too soap opera-ish.

/all is forgiven thanks to the assortment of gogeous ladies-in-waiting servicing his majesty's holy sprinkler...
//Henry, you horny devil, you!

LewDux

2009-11-04 04:04:16 PM

Pretty useless against rabbit insurgence

Aidan

2009-11-04 04:04:16 PM

vudukungfu: mmagdalene: Hans Holbein to decorate your oversized codpiece

Mine has a forked tongue that unravels like a yew year's noise maker. Right out of the devils mouth.
/Yeah, they have mixed feelings about that one at the ren fairs.
//You can't wear that here.
///How does it work? How did you make it?

As far as I can tell from your Lat, you're way too far south for me to ever see this wonderment. I am sad.

40 watt range

2009-11-04 04:05:08 PM

"A holy water spreader," has a name. It's called an Aspergillum.

That is likely what anyone of the era would have called it.

luckcat

2009-11-04 04:06:47 PM

Rev. Skarekroe: ChimpMitten: AldoRaine: The man was a genius. He invented alimony-less divorce too.

and discovered how to get head from your wife.

And he wrote Greensleeves.
What a guy!

Isn't that he wrote Greensleeves just a rumor and not actually true?

I love that he had devices made to help him move about because he got so fat. A medieval Emperor Harkonnen. I wonder if that is where Herbert got his inspiration from.

MilitaryTigger

2009-11-04 04:12:19 PM

Steampunk Belly Dancers would fit right in at his (Showtime) court...

farm3.static.flickr.com

/More at Deathkittens (new window)

lord-humungus

2009-11-04 04:16:26 PM

MilitaryTigger: Steampunk Belly Dancers would fit right in at his (Showtime) court...

/More at Deathkittens (new window)

mmm the one on the rights got enough belly to carry the whole show

Therion

2009-11-04 04:19:21 PM

Henry sank a lot of money into advanced armaments and weapons systems. Most of these were pretty farking cool (the full-coverage armor is really amazing if you know anything about armor making), but some of his projects didn't work out quite so well (I'm looking at you, Mary Rose!)

Oh, btw - PacManDreaming - see image 2 in tfa (subby linked to image 8) - #2 shows a bec de corbin (or what some folks would call a Lucerne hammer and other folks would classify as a poleaxe - polearm typology has always been non-standardized).

8.5 tailed fox

2009-11-04 04:20:42 PM

40 watt range: "A holy water spreader," has a name. It's called an Aspergillum.

A gillum was an old Flemmish gold coin and when you went to a brothel you could rent one ass per gillum.

Zousand

2009-11-04 04:24:50 PM

is that armor plating or art thou happy to see me?

ObscureNameHere

2009-11-04 04:30:11 PM

Kriegshund: That's not a bec. That's a footman's hammer. A bec de corbin is a pole arm, and is much longer then what's in that picture. Like this one: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Bec_de_Corbin.jpg

Ah, nice to see all that detail in "UnEarthed Arcana" did not go to waste all those years ago.

AngryJailhouseFistfark

2009-11-04 04:40:31 PM

It's good to be the king.

/Different era.
//Different country.
///Same sentiment.
////And no, not seeing anything steam-punk about this since the steam-engine came along three centuries later and punk two centuries after that.

WordsnCollision

2009-11-04 04:40:55 PM

/approves

AlbinosRPeople2

2009-11-04 04:42:04 PM

Glad you approve.

Muta

2009-11-04 04:42:53 PM

Steampunk Mouse

i133.photobucket.com

NYRBill

2009-11-04 04:43:24 PM

I liked the shield-gun

dead_dangler

2009-11-04 04:43:25 PM

MilitaryTigger: Steampunk Belly Dancers would fit right in at his (Showtime) court...

/More at Deathkittens (new window)

Whoa... "belly" dancers is right... at least for the one on the right.

Muta

2009-11-04 04:44:34 PM

Ha! Steampunk Segway.

www.blogcdn.com

opiumpoopy

2009-11-04 04:46:23 PM

Zousand: is that armor plating or art thou happy to see me?

That was his week-day suit.

This is his party hat. Dude rocked.
|
v

i425.photobucket.com

The Great Gazoo

2009-11-04 04:48:42 PM

Fat guy in a little coat. Fat guy in a little coat

MilitaryTigger

2009-11-04 04:48:50 PM

ObscureNameHere: Kriegshund: That's not a bec. That's a footman's hammer. A bec de corbin is a pole arm, and is much longer then what's in that picture. Like this one: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Bec_de_Corbin.jpg

Ah, nice to see all that detail in "UnEarthed Arcana" did not go to waste all those years ago.

Actually, it was first mentioned in the Players Handbook, pg 37/38...

Bec de corbin: 100gp weight, 1d8 vs S/M, 1d6 vs L, about 6' long, speed factor of 9

/smartass

CygnusDarius

2009-11-04 04:50:30 PM

Cool, steampunk thread.

I would've wrote the awesomeness of the weapon in TFA, but I need to rewind my laptop's battery.

www.anthropreneur.com

geniusiknowit

2009-11-04 04:52:36 PM

MilitaryTigger: Steampunk Belly Dancers would fit right in at his (Showtime) court...

/More at Deathkittens (new window)

They need to ditch the fat one on the right. She just doesn't fit in at all.

Diasdiem

2009-11-04 04:56:11 PM

Approves.

KarmicDisaster

2009-11-04 05:05:28 PM

Or, you could use this...
www.wired.com

PenguinTheRed

2009-11-04 05:17:44 PM

He couldn't even stop fapping while wearing armor? No wonder he had trouble having kids.

Dire

2009-11-04 05:19:39 PM

They are cool toys but there is nothing steampunk about any of them.

Suede head

2009-11-04 05:32:22 PM

Yea, verily, 'tis just how we rolleth here in Tudor Englande.

MBooda

2009-11-04 05:42:27 PM

PenguinTheRed: He couldn't even stop fapping while wearing armor?

Now, that takes some weak armor, or a mighty strong hand.

dead_dangler

2009-11-04 05:50:43 PM

Dire: They are cool toys but there is nothing steampunk about any of them.

A loser says what?

eraser8

2009-11-04 05:56:19 PM

zunkus

2009-11-04 06:00:40 PM

Hot steampunk chicks thread?

CMP

2009-11-04 06:02:08 PM

Dire: They are cool toys but there is nothing steampunk about any of them.

I kinda hafta agree. To be steampunk it would need to combine some sort of automation with pre-internal combustion engine or pre-electronic technology. In effect, imagine some late 20th century device; now imagine it made only with 19th-century technology.

If Henry VIII had come up with something like the Confederate steam-powered machine gun that the Mythbusters worked up - and the technology available to him might have allowed that - now that would be steampunk-ish.

raptusregaliter

2009-11-04 06:04:29 PM

A slideshow that's worth it. Holy crap... and people WORE those suits. The shot of the backside of the suit of armor... logistics would be a problem, wouldn't they?

eraser8

2009-11-04 06:06:53 PM

raptusregaliter: Holy crap... and people WORE those suits. The shot of the backside of the suit of armor... logistics would be a problem, wouldn't they?

You go in the suit. Like astronauts.

raptusregaliter

2009-11-04 06:17:43 PM

eraser8: raptusregaliter: Holy crap... and people WORE those suits. The shot of the backside of the suit of armor... logistics would be a problem, wouldn't they?

You go in the suit. Like astronauts.

Then I'd hate to have been his lackeys when it was time to take it off. Phew!!

Rwo2k9

2009-11-04 06:18:00 PM