What what what?

What?

The Long Kiss Goodnight and The Jackal are AWESOME!

Just fun action.

The Long Kiss Goodnight had mild humor in it, but it was so much fun.

/Chefs do that!

What? No love for Hard Target and JCVD's mulletacular John Woo film?

Shiatty action movies I personally own and enjoy: XxX, Starship Troopers, The Last Action Hero, Hard Target, Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat.

R.A.Danny: Sybarite: Starship Troopers I consider a dead-on parody of the fascist propaganda of its source material.

Dead on, yes. Unwatchable, yes.

Let me tell you something--I'm from Buenes Aires and I say KILL 'EM ALL.

Jackal, Marine, Starship Troopers, HUDSON HAWK, Last dragon.

All Awesome. I was waiting for the list to have True Lies on is. Best movie ever

An-Unnecessarily-Long-Name: Jackal, Marine, Starship Troopers, HUDSON HAWK, Last dragon.

All Awesome. I was waiting for the list to have True Lies on is. Best movie ever

The article was about shiatty action movies, not good ones.

Wanted wasn't enjoyable, in a traditonal or an ironic sense. The only reason I didn't walk out of it was that my wife inexplicably wanted to stay, I suspect because she was mad at me for suggesting that we see it and wanted me to suffer through the entirety of what I had wrought.

It was a movie about a group of assassins taking orders from a magic loom who violated the laws of physics by swinging their guns around and healed themselves with magic wax. And I didn't even get to see Angelina Jolie's its.

Cagey B: Angelina Jolie's its

My rage at having seen that movie has apparently killed my spelling.

Cagey B: My rage at having seen that movie has apparently killed my spelling.

You meant zits, right?

No Segal? I mean come on.

Point Break deserves to be on there somewhere

/HEY BOBBY LU-PO!

R.A.Danny: SurfaceTension: /and Starship Troopers was actually not that shiatty

Worst movie ever.

Except for the shower scene.

"Brownie points for the gratuitous shower scene, giving the boys their first glimpse at boobies." -CraigC

This guy, apparently, agrees.

I think the best "crappy action movie" of all time is Bloodsport... I remember discovering it while I was deep into my Street Fighter II phase...

Speaking of... what the fark was up with the kid who played the young Frank Dux? Was he ummm, special or something?

If you loved, it wasn't bad (for you). A hammer is a good hammer if it drives in nails. A movie is a good movie (for you) if it entertains you.

It would be easier overall, if you grew up and understood that your thoughts aren't facts. They are only real within the confines of your apparently roomy skull. Beyond that, they are just your feelings, thoughts and experiences. Nothing more.

SurfaceTension: Total Recall

/and Starship Troopers was actually not that shiatty

These.

My brother and I would rent Invasion USA and Delta Force all the time when we were kids. Those are the definition of craptacular action movies.

Hmm. I own most of these on DVD, and enjoy them. Some are pretty awful, that I don't (I'm looking at you, Jackal and Wanted), which stuns my husband (I am a prolific DVD collector and watcher).

I only own Starship Troopers because it was a movie based on Heinlein... Flash Gordon I remember from when I was a little kid (I always wanted to be the backstabbing princess who turns into a great leader. And who doesn't get amused when they see the name "Topol"?) Best of the Best (and someone else mentioned Mortal Kombat) are just fun, brainless movies (Doesn't MK get a pass for having a fairly decent soundtrack, compared to almost all other action flicks?)

Hudson Hawk, though? That movie f'ing rocks.

/Bunny? Ball, ball...
//heads to the DVD wall, for some cheese.

No Jackie Chan?

No Missing in Action 3 (starring and written by Chuck Norris)?

/CIA guy: "Don't step on any toes, Braddock!"
//Chuck Norris: "I don't step on toes... I step on necks."

GAT_00: Starship Troopers sucked. HARD.

It is in a different league than the other films on that list. The teen drama 90210 crap might have been annoying, but it was intentional. Everything about that film was intentional. I remember walking out of the theater ten years ago and thinking "what the fark was that shiat?" Now I watch it and am in awe of its simple genius.

This list sucks.

Rapmaster's list of shiatty, but awesome action.
Missing in Action - especially 1, but 2 as well
Death Wish - 1 is actually somewhat good, 3 is hilarious (chuck takes on punk rock), and 4 is a time capsule (chuck fights drugs).
Raw Deal
Cobra
Over the Top
Stone Cold - with BOZ and the great Lance Henriksen
First Blood
Invasion USA
Delta Force
Rocky IV - it's more like a video than a movie
COMMANDO - a cinematic triumph!

How did Face/Off not make the list????

Not clicking.
Is Remo Williams one of them?

Gunny Highway: No Jackie Chan?

Those films are either too bad (ie: the unwatchable crap that he did in his first attempt to bust into Hollywood in the 80s), too good (the original "Drunken Master 2", the Police Story series, et al), or completely forgotten (ie: the bulk of his American stuff like Rush Hour, The Tuxedo, etc.).

homarjr: How did Face/Off not make the list????



YES!

GAT_00: Starship Troopers sucked. HARD. I don't know what you're talking about.

As an action film alone.. you might have weight. But the movie was brilliant in its intended purpose and an excellent adaptation of its source material. Better than Paul Verhoeven first satire film Robocop which was a little more in your face with the jokes.

Starships satire was very tightly woven within the action scenes themselves, and the dialogue was spot on. And any movie that has Michael Ironside should at least get a point for that.

Toquinha: Gunny Highway: No Jackie Chan?

Those films are either too bad (ie: the unwatchable crap that he did in his first attempt to bust into Hollywood in the 80s), too good (the original "Drunken Master 2", the Police Story series, et al), or completely forgotten (ie: the bulk of his American stuff like Rush Hour, The Tuxedo, etc.).

Fair enough.

Rapmaster:

Missing in Action 3 is by far the most enjoyably bad of the series... he goes back to Vietnam like 12 years after the war is over to save his wife (who was never mentioned in either of the other two movies) and ends up rescuing a bunch of orphans, including his son, who helps him shoot down a helicopter with a rifle.

And I wouldn't call Over the Top an "action movie."

Rapmaster2000: This list sucks.

Rapmaster's list of shiatty, but awesome action.
Missing in Action - especially 1, but 2 as well
Death Wish - 1 is actually somewhat good, 3 is hilarious (chuck takes on punk rock), and 4 is a time capsule (chuck fights drugs).
Raw Deal
Cobra
Over the Top
Stone Cold - with BOZ and the great Lance Henriksen
First Blood
Invasion USA
Delta Force
Rocky IV - it's more like a video than a movie
COMMANDO - a cinematic triumph!

Adding Roadhouse and The Octagon.

Rapmaster2000: This list sucks.

Rapmaster's list of shiatty, but awesome action.
Missing in Action - especially 1, but 2 as well
Death Wish - 1 is actually somewhat good, 3 is hilarious (chuck takes on punk rock), and 4 is a time capsule (chuck fights drugs).
Raw Deal
Cobra
Over the Top
Stone Cold - with BOZ and the great Lance Henriksen
First Blood
Invasion USA
Delta Force
Rocky IV - it's more like a video than a movie
COMMANDO - a cinematic triumph!

Nice list. Don't forget Nighthawks (Sly Stallone, Billy Dee Williams...) and the Octagon. Nothing like watching Chuck Norris fight a ninja who is ON FIRE.