No love for Miss Teschmacher?

Wow. +1.

It's a little bitty place.

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: HAH!



Drunk-ass Evil Superman from Superman III approves of your awesome headline, subs!

/+1

This reminds me of a very old joke:

After a long day at the office, Bob goes to a roof-top bar. After taking a seat, he notices that the man sitting next to him is staring fiercely at a shot of whiskey. A few seconds pass, then the stranger downs the shot, leaps from his bar-stool, runs to the edge of the roof and jumps off.

Bob is horrified, but, seconds later, the elevator dings, and the stranger emerges completely unharmed.

The stranger reclaims his seat, orders another shot, stares at it, downs it, then jumps up, runs to the edge of the roof and jumps off again.

Seconds later, DING. The elevator opens, and the man emerges unharmed.

Before the stranger can order another shot, Bob stops him.

"How do you do that?"

The stranger gives Bob a long look. He says, "The trick is in the whiskey. It thins the blood just enough. You float to the ground like a feather."

Bob is skeptical. "Come on."

The stranger throws up his arms. "You need to see it again? Bartender, another shot."

The shot comes, the stranger downs it, runs to the edge, throws himself off, and moments later comes out of the elevator without a scratch.

He sidles up to the bar, looks at Bob and says, "Now you."

Bob takes a deep breath. The bartender puts a shot in front of him.

Bob stares at it. The stranger says, "You have to believe."

Bob says, "I believe."

Stranger: "No, really believe."

Bob: "I believe!"

Stranger: "No, damn it! You have to BELIEVE!"

Bob shouts, "I BELIEVE!"

He downs the shot, runs to the edge, throws himself off, and plummets. Splat! Dead.

Back on the rooftop, the bartender looks at the stranger and says, "You know, you can be a real asshole when you drink, Superman."

First Robert: Is this the furthest distance that a minister has fallen? Robert.

(Cut to Robert.)

Second Robert: Well surprisingly not. The Canadian Minister for External Affairs fell nearly seven miles during a Liberal Conference in Ottawa about six years ago, and then quite recently the Kenyan Ethiopian Minister for Agric. and Fish fell nearly twelve miles during a Nairobi debate in Parliament, although this hasn't been ratified yet.

Thanks for the pic BSS.

If I read the article correctly, are the scientists saying that because of what they see here they think the same thing could happen at the same rate at the bottom of the ocean? What about the enormous pressure down there? Wouldn't a rift naturally happen at a quicker pace without that huge ass normal force known as the ocean pressing down on it?

Speedbts alt: Thanks for the pic BSS.

Of course! I just googled "subby's mom" and sho-nuff it was the 1st result.

Abagadro: No love for Miss Teschmacher?

MISS TESCHMACHER!!!

Subby, I lol'd for a good while, and laughing at all is a damned rarity for me, even with good headlines. THANK YOU.

Headline is spot-on.
/+2

How convenient....

I mean, here is what this plays like in my head, but I'm no expert - couldn't this event theoretically solve the whole 'global warming, world floods, etc'

all we'd have to do is direct the extra sea levels to go here, and then boom, its good, right? :P

I read the poster first Britney Spear's Speculum and then looked at the picture. It took me a while to figure out that it was a giant gaping man eating hole....in the ground.

I love subby.

a+ subby

Jesus Farking Christ thats a big hole in the ground. I thought the sinkholes here in Florida were bad. Man. If you live in Ethiopia you've got it pretty rough.

Maybe it will stop.

Ethiopia! Come for the ocean view, stay for the seismic activity.

Sooo... they won't be living in a desert?

GranoblasticMan
FTFA: Careful study of the 2005 mega-dike intrusion . . .

Militant lesbians in Ethiopia?

A *million* militant lesbians in Ethiopia.

/look out, Eritrea

Ah, just in time to catch all that extra water dumped into the oceans from global warming.

/maybe there is a God afterall...
//expect to hear reports soon of impending dangers from a rapidly falling ocean level.
///what dangers?

acchief: Ah, just in time to catch all that extra water dumped into the oceans from global warming.

/maybe there is a God afterall...
//expect to hear reports soon of impending dangers from a rapidly falling ocean level.
///what dangers?

Ah... that's not really how it works.

Andric: acchief: Ah, just in time to catch all that extra water dumped into the oceans from global warming.

/maybe there is a God afterall...
//expect to hear reports soon of impending dangers from a rapidly falling ocean level.
///what dangers?

Ah... that's not really how it works.

OK, so where's the water to fill this new ocean basin going to come from, if not the existing oceans?

acchief: Andric: acchief: Ah, just in time to catch all that extra water dumped into the oceans from global warming.

/maybe there is a God afterall...
//expect to hear reports soon of impending dangers from a rapidly falling ocean level.
///what dangers?

Ah... that's not really how it works.

OK, so where's the water to fill this new ocean basin going to come from, if not the existing oceans?

From the same place that the dirt which used to fill the hole went.

+1 for subby.

Wouldn't Bizzaro Superman be really, really weak?

lurking_farker: acchief: Andric: acchief: Ah, just in time to catch all that extra water dumped into the oceans from global warming.

/maybe there is a God afterall...
//expect to hear reports soon of impending dangers from a rapidly falling ocean level.
///what dangers?

Ah... that's not really how it works.

OK, so where's the water to fill this new ocean basin going to come from, if not the existing oceans?

From the same place that the dirt which used to fill the hole went.

yes but sometimes the seismic activity creates mountain ranges, which could be replaced by water, leveling out the whole 'drown the earth' thing.

i mean maybe i'm strange, but i always get the feeling that when people talk about us 'destroying the planet' that our planet is tougher than we give her credit.

kwirlkarphys: i mean maybe i'm strange, but i always get the feeling that when people talk about us 'destroying the planet' that our planet is tougher than we give her credit.

Well, we're not really concerned with "destroying the planet" in the earth-shattering kaboom sense. It's more a problem of making it uninhabitable for us and about 95% of current vertebrate species.

You wanna see a long arm, Otis!?!

/+3 for subby.

Speedbts alt: Thanks for the pic BSS.

If I read the article correctly, are the scientists saying that because of what they see here they think the same thing could happen at the same rate at the bottom of the ocean? What about the enormous pressure down there? Wouldn't a rift naturally happen at a quicker pace without that huge ass normal force known as the ocean pressing down on it?

You're joking right? The mass of the oceans is insignificant vs. the mass of the earth.

+1 for a LOLtastic headline. Beautifully played, subby.

Karl Bacardi [Superman joke]

Came to tell a slightly different version of that, leaving satisfied.

HeartBurnKid: kwirlkarphys: i mean maybe i'm strange, but i always get the feeling that when people talk about us 'destroying the planet' that our planet is tougher than we give her credit.

Well, we're not really concerned with "destroying the planet" in the earth-shattering kaboom sense. It's more a problem of making it uninhabitable for us and about 95% of current vertebrate species.

DING DING DING! That's it exactly! We don't care 2 shiats for the planet. We care about US and our ability to survive on it. It's a not-so-subtle distinction that most people gloss right over. Drives me nuts.

Handsome B. Wonderful: Speedbts alt: Thanks for the pic BSS.

If I read the article correctly, are the scientists saying that because of what they see here they think the same thing could happen at the same rate at the bottom of the ocean? What about the enormous pressure down there? Wouldn't a rift naturally happen at a quicker pace without that huge ass normal force known as the ocean pressing down on it?

You're joking right? The mass of the oceans is insignificant vs. the mass of the earth.

I'm talking about what's going on at the surface of the crust and not the mantel.

Speedbts alt: Thanks for the pic BSS.

If I read the article correctly, are the scientists saying that because of what they see here they think the same thing could happen at the same rate at the bottom of the ocean? What about the enormous pressure down there? Wouldn't a rift naturally happen at a quicker pace without that huge ass normal force known as the ocean pressing down on it?

A little geology lesson for you:

The entire crust is being spread apart, not just the surface. You can actually calculate the geostatic pressures at the base of the crust under a continent and under the ocean.

Average thickness of continental crust: ~30km
Average thickness of oceanic crust: ~10km
Average density of crust: ~2700kg/m³
Average depth of ocean: ~3.8km
Average density of seawater: ~1027kg/m³
Pressure (P)=pgh (p=density, g=gravity, h=height)
Pressure at base of continental crust = (2700kg/m³)*(9.8m/s²)*(30,000m)= 793.8 MPa
Pressure at base of oceanic crust (crust + seawater) = (2700kg/m³)*(9.8m/s²)*(10,000m) + (1027kg/m³)*(9.8m/s²)*(3800m) = 302.8 MPa

Elmo Jones: Headline is spot-on.
/+2

THis. Well done, subby.

mylonitic: A little geology lesson for you:

Thank you, Mr. Pedantic Pants.

fifthhorseman: mylonitic: A little geology lesson for you:

Thank you, Mr. Pedantic Pants.

I aim to please.