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(Chicago Breaking News)   Church discovers new way to bolster faith, fill pews: give away cash. Upcoming events to include "Double Down Your Faith" and "Holy Craps - God Never Throws Sevens"   (chicagotribune.com) divider line 98
    More: Interesting, Holy Craps, Alsip, pastors, worships, congregations, cash prize, rev, pulpit  
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2948 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Nov 2009 at 12:18 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-11-02 09:52:02 AM  
If he did throw sevens, though, it would simply be part of his larger plan.
 
2009-11-02 10:09:37 AM  
As part of the lessons, Willis set up a shredder near the pulpit to encourage church members to shred their credit cards and commit to stop spending. He talks about budgeting, tackling past-due bills and saving. He encourages the prize winners to use the money to pay down their bills, rather than splurge on new items. One Sunday, he gave away 15 savings accounts with $25 already in them. And he had bank representatives at the service so church members could set up accounts.


I don't really see anything to criticize there--better than just telling people "the lord will provide."
 
2009-11-02 10:10:19 AM  
One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to show you a brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken.

Then this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the jack of spades jump out of this brand-new deck of cards and squirt cider in your ear.

But, son, do not accept this bet, because as sure as you stand there, you're going to wind up with an ear full of cider.


/yes it's absolutely relevant to this thread.
 
2009-11-02 10:20:08 AM  
ne2d: I don't really see anything to criticize there--better than just telling people "the lord will provide."

I have something to criticize. What the fark are people doing taking economic and financial advice from a random dude with no credentials?

Hurray for him not taking advantage of the witless morons listening to him. Boo on them for listening to him.
 
2009-11-02 10:38:59 AM  
ninjakirby
I have something to criticize. What the fark are people doing taking economic and financial advice from a random dude with no credentials?

Well, the really basic stuff like you should save a percentage of your income for a rainy day, you should have retirement savings, pay off your credit cards every month, etc. doesn't really require qualifications to teach. Yet some people need that basic stuff.
 
2009-11-02 10:51:34 AM  
Organized religion is a test God uses to identify and weed out the gullible from advancing to Round 2.
 
2009-11-02 10:57:50 AM  
Il Douchey: Organized religion is a test God uses to identify and weed out the gullible from advancing to Round 2.

Lighthouse Church of All Nations doesn't sound very "organized" to me.
 
2009-11-02 11:14:27 AM  
ninjakirby: I have something to criticize. What the fark are people doing taking economic and financial advice from a random dude with no credentials?

The Babble is all we need, if he's good with the Lord, welp, he's good with me!

/Sometimes you have to roll the hard six
Adama Chapt 7. Vs. 4
//utterly irrelevant to the thread, but it just sounds cool
 
2009-11-02 11:20:51 AM  
Churches are all about making money, that's their sole purpose -- imaginary friends and making money. It's not about the pews, it's about the dollars.

/yer, i said it
//fark you
 
2009-11-02 11:35:24 AM  
I have infinitely more respect for a church leader who presents a message like this one than I do for the TV televangelists who prey upon the fears of an old lady nearing the finish line who is wondering if pulling that train for those boys going off to fight the Kaiser permanently invalidated her Heaven transfer and maybe she SHOULD send her medicine money to the nice man with the Sydney-Opera-House hair who promises he'll talk to Jesus and put in a good word.
 
2009-11-02 12:12:14 PM  
snuff3r: Churches are all about making money, that's their sole purpose -- imaginary friends and making money. It's not about the pews, it's about the dollars.

Your a moran.
 
2009-11-02 12:17:11 PM  
ne2d: As part of the lessons, Willis set up a shredder near the pulpit to encourage church members to shred their credit cards and commit to stop spending. He talks about budgeting, tackling past-due bills and saving. He encourages the prize winners to use the money to pay down their bills, rather than splurge on new items. One Sunday, he gave away 15 savings accounts with $25 already in them. And he had bank representatives at the service so church members could set up accounts.


I don't really see anything to criticize there--better than just telling people "the lord will provide."


Well it's not good economic policy, but you're right that this isn't really anything to get upset about.
 
2009-11-02 12:20:33 PM  
Good model to work on, I hear the soldiers at the base of the cross were partial to dice games themselves.
 
2009-11-02 12:22:24 PM  
Its a bait and switch though since the church will just add that income to your tithes
 
2009-11-02 12:22:37 PM  
+1
 
2009-11-02 12:23:11 PM  
Ennuipoet: ninjakirby: I have something to criticize. What the fark are people doing taking economic and financial advice from a random dude with no credentials?

The Babble is all we need, if he's good with the Lord, welp, he's good with me!

/Sometimes you have to roll the hard six
Adama Chapt 7. Vs. 4
//utterly irrelevant to the thread, but it just sounds cool


Adama is my co-pilot.
 
2009-11-02 12:27:13 PM  
ninjakirby: I have something to criticize. What the fark are people doing taking economic and financial advice from a random dude with no credentials?

If he's a pastor and he's wanting people to destroy their credit cards, there's a 95% chance he's a Dave Ramsey disciple.
 
2009-11-02 12:27:23 PM  
ninjakirby: What the fark are people doing taking economic and financial advice from a random dude with no credentials?

Yeah! They should only be taking spiritual/moral advice from this random dude with no credentials.
 
2009-11-02 12:27:40 PM  
"How can Ace be both 1 and 11?"
 
2009-11-02 12:27:56 PM  
DamnYankees: ne2d: As part of the lessons, Willis set up a shredder near the pulpit to encourage church members to shred their credit cards and commit to stop spending. He talks about budgeting, tackling past-due bills and saving. He encourages the prize winners to use the money to pay down their bills, rather than splurge on new items. One Sunday, he gave away 15 savings accounts with $25 already in them. And he had bank representatives at the service so church members could set up accounts.


I don't really see anything to criticize there--better than just telling people "the lord will provide."

Well it's not good economic policy, but you're right that this isn't really anything to get upset about.


Not good economic policy for who? For the people who are swimming in debt, and are going to lose their homes because they listened to conventional wisdom, and overextended themselves?

Our economy is FARKED because of the greed of every class of people. We've hit the debt wall. All of the growth during the Clinton years was as a result of people spending like drunken sailors. But now we are out of money, and even the responsible people can't get access to credit.

This pastor is giving good, sound advice. But this is Fark, and we all know that on Fark ANY Christian is automatically a moran or a theif or an abortion doctor killer.
 
2009-11-02 12:28:08 PM  
Here's something we can criticize:

FTFA: "We've had soooo many of our people displaced from jobs, facing foreclosure," he said. "When people's faith was high, their debt was down. When their faith was down, their debt was high. I realized the two are connected."

Classic example of mistaking correlation for causation!
 
2009-11-02 12:28:40 PM  
Week 2: How to direct deposit into new bank account.
Week 3: Now give us 10% of your paycheck.
Week 4: ???
Week 5: Rejoice!
 
2009-11-02 12:29:12 PM  
www.t-shirthumor.com

/hot
 
2009-11-02 12:29:41 PM  
Yea, and I say unto thee, split thy pairs when thou doest get aces and eights. For thy reward will be great on Earth, Heaven and at the table.

But woe betide thou if thy splitth fours, fives and tens. For, yea, thine shalt lose thine winnings and fall victim to thy demon dealer.

Yea.
 
2009-11-02 12:29:50 PM  
@Tatsuhiko

I thought Week 5 was: Prophet!
 
2009-11-02 12:30:05 PM  
Minister's focus is to help congregation pay bills and begin a debt-free life

Is that what a church is supposed to focus on? You fail at pastoring.
 
2009-11-02 12:30:16 PM  
icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com

/nothing
 
2009-11-02 12:30:47 PM  
God Loves a Big Dick and So Should You
 
2009-11-02 12:32:47 PM  
Occam's Nailfile: But this is Fark, and we all know that on Fark ANY Christian is automatically a moran or a theif or an abortion doctor killer.


You forgot pedophile.
 
2009-11-02 12:34:37 PM  
Trivia Jockey: Occam's Nailfile: But this is Fark, and we all know that on Fark ANY Christian is automatically a moran or a theif or an abortion doctor killer.


You forgot pedophile.


And closet homosexual.
 
2009-11-02 12:34:48 PM  
Trivia Jockey: Occam's Nailfile: But this is Fark, and we all know that on Fark ANY Christian is automatically a moran or a theif or an abortion doctor killer.


You forgot pedophile.


Dammit, thanks.
 
2009-11-02 12:35:04 PM  
Tatsuhiko: Week 2: How to direct deposit into new bank account.
Week 3: Now give us 10% of your paycheck.
Week 4: ???
Week 5: Rejoice!
PROPHET!
 
2009-11-02 12:37:16 PM  
I like cookies
http://tinyurl.com/ycj97tn
(copy and paste)
 
2009-11-02 12:38:12 PM  
As part of the lessons, Willis set up a shredder near the pulpit to encourage church members to shred their credit cards and commit to stop spending. He talks about budgeting, tackling past-due bills and saving. He encourages the prize winners to use the money to pay down their bills, rather than splurge on new items. One Sunday, he gave away 15 savings accounts with $25 already in them. And he had bank representatives at the service so church members could set up accounts.

Giving away cash for attending is a bad idea, but the rest of his strategy is better-late-than-never brilliance. I just wonder where God enters into the message.
 
2009-11-02 12:39:20 PM  
gorgor: I like cookies
http://tinyurl.com/ycj97tn
(copy and paste)


mmmm cookies...
 
2009-11-02 12:45:18 PM  
Tatsuhiko: Week 2: How to direct deposit into new bank account.
Week 3: Now give us 10% of your paycheck.
Week 4: ???
Week 5: Rejoice!


THIS
 
2009-11-02 12:45:59 PM  
There is a brotherhood of man.
www.freemasonry.bcy.ca
 
2009-11-02 12:47:27 PM  
ne2d: As part of the lessons, Willis set up a shredder near the pulpit to encourage church members to shred their credit cards and commit to stop spending. He talks about budgeting, tackling past-due bills and saving. He encourages the prize winners to use the money to pay down their bills, rather than splurge on new items. One Sunday, he gave away 15 savings accounts with $25 already in them. And he had bank representatives at the service so church members could set up accounts.


I don't really see anything to criticize there--better than just telling people "the lord will provide."


I agree, although I think if they're going to use unhealthy habits to get people to church, gambling is really not the best one. I would have gone straight to crack addiction, crack addiction will fill the pews much faster then simple greed. Damn the church just isn't efficient anymore.
 
2009-11-02 12:47:49 PM  
Toss in free beer and you'll have us Cathaholics hooked.
 
2009-11-02 12:48:07 PM  
www16.plala.or.jp
 
2009-11-02 12:48:59 PM  
Pray for Omarion
Daddy needs a new pair o' shoes...
 
2009-11-02 12:49:19 PM  
Sadly, religion will never die. There are always people willing to close their eyes and box their ears to evidence and reason. There are always people willing to buy in for the get-rich-quick scheme, without a modicum of due dilligence. There are always people who find it easier to see things in black and white rather than face their fears.

Religion will always be with us. Our best hope is to neuter it and relegate it to "tolerable inconvience, socially frowned upon."
The separation of church and state is the only thing protecting us from their babbling insanity.

I wish and hope with all my heart that one day, being religious will be like being a smoker: Technically acceptable with respect to the penal code, but a social death warrant.

Choke on it, Christers.
 
2009-11-02 12:49:24 PM  
Pocket Ninja: If he did throw sevens, though, it would simply be part of his larger plan.

As long as you start the game throwing sevens, there's nothing at all wrong with it.

/Threw 6 sevens in a row one time.
//Should have pressed my bets
 
2009-11-02 12:50:33 PM  
www.blueheaventees.com

Haven't they already done this?

/bought one at a gas station once for novelty
 
2009-11-02 12:51:45 PM  
Pocket Ninja: If he did throw sevens, though, it would simply be part of his larger plan.

Over in one.
 
2009-11-02 12:52:35 PM  
Jerry Garcia: Haven't they already done this?

/bought one at a gas station once for novelty


Bottom left chip - "Anal up and give your heart to him"...?
 
2009-11-02 12:52:49 PM  
snuff3r: Churches are all about making money, that's their sole purpose -- imaginary friends and making money. It's not about the pews, it's about the dollars.



So it's like a fraternity then?
 
2009-11-02 12:53:01 PM  
Church of the New Revelation, anyone?
 
2009-11-02 12:55:32 PM  
aedude01: snuff3r: Churches are all about making money, that's their sole purpose -- imaginary friends and making money. It's not about the pews, it's about the dollars.



So it's like a fraternity then?


Nah, more like the SciFi club with hella dues...

\"Anyone for a game of Thetans vs Thebans...?"
 
2009-11-02 12:55:56 PM  
Why wait for your heavenly rewards?
 
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