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(Huffington Post)   Paranoid helicopter parents, not content with ruining everything else, have basically destroyed the fun of Halloween as well   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 417
    More: Sad, helicopter parents, Bernie Madoff, abduction, high fructose corn syrup, sociologists, suckers, landlords, University of Delaware  
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22403 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Oct 2009 at 6:04 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-10-31 05:27:51 PM
When "Trunk or Treat" became a common phrase, I knew it was over.
 
2009-10-31 05:29:53 PM
I've already had 4 kids at my house, and it is only 5:40pm. Not even dark out, for farks sake. Since when did kids stop trick or treating after dark?
 
2009-10-31 05:30:11 PM
I remember those Halloween nights as a child. We'd roam the neighborhood in noisy packs, ranging through two, three, four developments. As far as we could walk, as many houses as we could hit. We'd carry an extra pillow case tucked into our belt, just in case. We wouldn't go home until the last light on the last house on the last block had been turned off, and even then, wandering home through the dark, dodging back and forth between parked cars and trying to scare each other with a surprise BOO, we'd still stop back at any house with a light on in the window. Just in case. Just to check. Nearing home, we'd peel away from the group, one by one, as our houses came up. I'd walk inside, my nose cold and my cheeks ruddy and my legs and feet so tired I could barely stand. And then my dad would get up from his lounge chair and hold out his hand, and I'd give him my sack of candy for the Inspection. The Inspection, where he solemnly take my my night's gains to the kitchen table and dump them out and carefully sort through them, piece by piece, looking for anything that might have been tampered with or poisoned or trapped with a razor blade. The large Hershey bar, too dangerous. Two packs of M&Ms, too rumpled. A handful of Smarties, their ends suspiciously untwisted. I'd watch, mute and helpless, as my pile diminished. I tried to understand why it was always the best pieces that seemed tainted. Cursed in my mind those neighbors who would taunt me so. And then, finally, the most dangerous pieces sorted from my haul, I'd be sent to bed. And the next morning, wonder over the candy wrappers I'd discover wedged in the cushion of the lounge chair. He was a sneaky bastard, my father. That was how I first learned about taxes.
 
2009-10-31 05:40:29 PM
Wait a second.. WTF is this?!?! Parents driving kids around the neighborhood? Are you shiatting me?!

I'm going back inside. I got nothin' for those little assholes anyways.
 
2009-10-31 05:47:42 PM
RoxtarRyan: Since when did kids stop trick or treating after dark?

Do you want paedophiles to snatch children from the streets?
 
2009-10-31 05:49:10 PM
Ain't that the farking truth.
 
2009-10-31 05:49:57 PM
FarkinNortherner: RoxtarRyan: Since when did kids stop trick or treating after dark?

Do you want paedophiles to snatch children from the streets?


Is there an epidemic I wasn't aware of? Shiat... must've missed it. Can I get another copy of that memo?
 
2009-10-31 05:56:40 PM
RoxtarRyan: Is there an epidemic I wasn't aware of?

Yes. Those few children who escape vaccine induced autism and survive leukaemia contracted as a result of classroom wifi are destined to be kidnapped. Unless they're stabbed first, of course.
 
2009-10-31 05:58:40 PM
RocketRod: When "Trunk or Treat" became a common phrase, I knew it was over.

WRocketRod: When "Trunk or Treat" became a common phrase, I knew it was over.

what the fark is "trunk-or-treat"?
 
2009-10-31 05:58:50 PM
FarkinNortherner: RoxtarRyan: Is there an epidemic I wasn't aware of?

Yes. Those few children who escape vaccine induced autism and survive leukaemia contracted as a result of classroom wifi are destined to be kidnapped. Unless they're stabbed first, of course.


Good god, man! We need to take action!

To the Batmanuel-mobile!
 
2009-10-31 06:07:01 PM
That article came with an alternate ending!
 
2009-10-31 06:08:41 PM
I still want to know why some neighborhoods, mine included, can't have trick-or-treat ON halloween night. What. The. fark?
 
2009-10-31 06:09:42 PM
SilentStrider: I still want to know why some neighborhoods, mine included, can't have trick-or-treat ON halloween night. What. The. fark?

Sure you can. Just ignore the idiots who are trying to change the rules.
 
2009-10-31 06:10:26 PM
FarkinNortherner: Unless they're stabbed first, of course.

By their own plastic knives, I'm guessing?

We'll see what it's like tonight; the news outlets are saying people are also scared of H1N1 so they'll be keeping their kids in. It would be a pity, too, because it looks like for once it's not going to rain. Should be a decent, clear night for the wee beasties.
 
2009-10-31 06:10:45 PM
Yeah, there's a party in my community that's presumably to stop kids from having to trick or treat. We haven't had anyone show up yet.

We also have a friend who is refusing to give out candy. Said "I hate giving candy!" as she took candy from a bag a friend brought over. So yes, giving bad, taking good. Love this country.
 
2009-10-31 06:11:52 PM
RoxtarRyan: Wait a second.. WTF is this?!?! Parents driving kids around the neighborhood? Are you shiatting me?!

I'm going back inside. I got nothin' for those little assholes anyways.


I might go out at dusk for any of the real little one.
 
2009-10-31 06:12:29 PM
Unknown_Poltroon: SilentStrider: I still want to know why some neighborhoods, mine included, can't have trick-or-treat ON halloween night. What. The. fark?

Sure you can. Just ignore the idiots who are trying to change the rules.

Tell them to STFU and go anyway and then if you get a ticket DEMAND a jury trial!
 
2009-10-31 06:12:45 PM
FarkinNortherner: RoxtarRyan: Since when did kids stop trick or treating after dark?

Do you want paedophiles to snatch children from the streets?


Oh, no, because it's happened so goddamn often around here. You can't go five minutes without a kid being snatched, it's a wonder the schools manage to stay open a week with all these kids getting pulled willy-nilly off the sidewalks and into black windowless vans.

It's shocking, there are probably more pedophiles around here than normal people, I've seen three or four sexual predators in knife fights over who gets to take one of the few remaining kids home to molest him first.
 
2009-10-31 06:13:15 PM
There isn't a soul around on my street aside from the guy who's been mowing his lawn for like 2 friggin hours. Also the pickings for cool Halloween movies on tv are slim this year. Next year I'm planning in advance. All the classics on dvd, yessir.
 
2009-10-31 06:13:38 PM
I live in the 'burbs near two elementary schools. And I have a big bowl of candy ready and jack o'lanterns on the porch. I better get some damned Trick or Treaters, or there will be a lot of Twix bars in my future.
 
2009-10-31 06:13:40 PM
Everyone who's showed up at my house tonight are teenagers. Bah.
 
2009-10-31 06:14:19 PM
Gyrfalcon: FarkinNortherner: RoxtarRyan: Since when did kids stop trick or treating after dark?

Do you want paedophiles to snatch children from the streets?

Oh, no, because it's happened so goddamn often around here. You can't go five minutes without a kid being snatched, it's a wonder the schools manage to stay open a week with all these kids getting pulled willy-nilly off the sidewalks and into black windowless vans.

It's shocking, there are probably more pedophiles around here than normal people, I've seen three or four sexual predators in knife fights over who gets to take one of the few remaining kids home to molest him first.


Do they have Thunderdome-esque fights? That would really take the cake!

TWO PEDOS ENTER
ONE PEDO LEAVES
 
2009-10-31 06:14:37 PM
RminusQ

what the fark is "trunk-or-treat"?


It's where a large group of parents decorate the trunks of their cars and park in a big parking lot. Kids then go around and collect candy from the trunks of cars. Local churches do this, but I could see soccer moms doing it too.
 
2009-10-31 06:15:05 PM
SilentStrider: I still want to know why some neighborhoods, mine included, can't have trick-or-treat ON halloween night. What. The. fark?

lolwut? What night DO you have it on?!?
 
2009-10-31 06:15:20 PM
I *hate* *hate* that parents now drive their kids around in cars to trick or treat. Like, between neighborhoods is ok, but house to house? wtf?
 
2009-10-31 06:16:14 PM
MissFeasance: I live in the 'burbs near two elementary schools. And I have a big bowl of candy ready and jack o'lanterns on the porch. I better get some damned Trick or Treaters, or there will be a lot of Twix bars in my future.

We don't have any decorations, but I have a lot of candy! We didn't get any pumpkins to carve this year, its been a bad season :(
 
2009-10-31 06:16:33 PM
Halloween is dying. Less and less trick-or-treaters every year, less build up, no one seems to care anymore. It's sad.
 
2009-10-31 06:16:56 PM
Canceling Halloween? How does a town enforce such a decree?

That's what freedom in America means- doing what clueless, senile, old people tell you to, then if you play your cards right maybe one day you can tell other people what to do.
 
2009-10-31 06:17:22 PM
I'm just waiting for one parent to give me hell because an errant Reese's Peanut Butter Cup got into their VERY DEATHLY ALLERGIC child's bag.
 
2009-10-31 06:17:30 PM
srb715: what the fark is "trunk-or-treat"?

It's where a large group of parents decorate the trunks of their cars and park in a big parking lot. Kids then go around and collect candy from the trunks of cars. Local churches do this, but I could see soccer moms doing it too.


Getting stabby.....

/ I used to go out at night. I think people my age were the last who got to... I hope my age groups will do better with kids, but I doubt it.
 
2009-10-31 06:17:33 PM
srb715: RminusQ

what the fark is "trunk-or-treat"?

It's where a large group of parents decorate the trunks of their cars and park in a big parking lot. Kids then go around and collect candy from the trunks of cars. Local churches do this, but I could see soccer moms doing it too.


Is...is that serious?
 
2009-10-31 06:19:00 PM
CaesarSneezy: Canceling Halloween? How does a town enforce such a decree?

Couple witch-burnings, and blow up all the sidewalks.
 
2009-10-31 06:19:43 PM
srb715: RminusQ

what the fark is "trunk-or-treat"?

It's where a large group of parents decorate the trunks of their cars and park in a big parking lot. Kids then go around and collect candy from the trunks of cars. Local churches do this, but I could see soccer moms doing it too.



I am so glad I don't have children. This shiat would drive me insane. And get me banned from the local parent groups.
 
2009-10-31 06:20:33 PM
I froze my candy this year.

1. No kids show up anymore
2. I like frozen candy.

I remember my dad going through my entire haul to inspect it. He kept anything he found that was questionable . . . funny, only the Snickers and Milky Ways were "Questionable"
 
2009-10-31 06:20:35 PM
Green Lantern Honnu: Halloween is dying. Less and less trick-or-treaters every year, less build up, no one seems to care anymore. It's sad.

This. Last year we had a grand total of 5 kids in two groups show up. Plus a couple Teenagers from across the street. It is very sad.
 
2009-10-31 06:20:40 PM
While they're out at Trunk or Treat, the neighborhood teens will be trashing their homes.

/is it really safer to teach your kids to take candy from car trunks?
 
2009-10-31 06:20:48 PM
20 kids so far. Every one had a parent right next to them. Can't they just wait at the end of the driveway like they used to...I want to scare the little farkers and with the parents right there, it's not as effective.
 
2009-10-31 06:20:52 PM
I also want to know how a town cancels or moves Halloween? We're still 100% traditional around here.
 
2009-10-31 06:20:52 PM
srb715: RminusQ

what the fark is "trunk-or-treat"?

It's where a large group of parents decorate the trunks of their cars and park in a big parking lot. Kids then go around and collect candy from the trunks of cars. Local churches do this, but I could see soccer moms doing it too.


So, wait, parents are teaching their kids that their neighbors can't be trusted, but some stranger can give them any old crap out of the back of a car, and that's fine. Do I have that right?
 
2009-10-31 06:21:16 PM
I'm a father of 2 kids (ages 6 and 4), and I a) don't know any parents who are like this and b) saw none of this behavior during trick-or-treating (we had it on Thursday in our town)
 
2009-10-31 06:21:20 PM
FunkOut: Everyone who's showed up at my house tonight are teenagers. Bah.

I've had 4 little kids thus far. And 4 bags of candy to burn through. Whoever shows up at 7:59 is getting a ton of sugary crap.
 
2009-10-31 06:21:36 PM
Pocket Ninja: He was a sneaky bastard, my father. That was how I first learned about taxes.

Marvelous. This is why you appear in bright green in my favorites. In my family, the tax was traditionally to give any Mounds, Almond Joys and a couple of Butterfingers to my mom, and my dad got all the dark chocolate Hershey bars. Being one of multiple kids, we'd also trade for better pieces of candy amongst ourselves. We also used to trick or treat late, but then my town started regulating the hours you could trick or treat during, which sucked.
 
2009-10-31 06:22:00 PM
CaesarSneezy: Canceling Halloween? How does a town enforce such a decree?

That's what freedom in America means- doing what clueless, senile, old people tell you to, then if you play your cards right maybe one day you can tell other people what to do.


I'd say it's time to cut loose. Footloose.
 
2009-10-31 06:22:55 PM
srb715: It's where a large group of parents decorate the trunks of their cars and park in a big parking lot. Kids then go around and collect candy from the trunks of cars. Local churches do this, but I could see soccer moms doing it too.

That might work for rural areas where houses are a quarter mile apart. Sadly, we don't get trick or treaters out here in the stix, just the occasional mailbox smashing.

That said, first thing I thought of for Trunk Or Treating was:


www.demotivateus.com

/off to look for a trunk or treat.
 
2009-10-31 06:23:41 PM
Derwood: I'm a father of 2 kids (ages 6 and 4), and I a) don't know any parents who are like this and b) saw none of this behavior during trick-or-treating (we had it on Thursday in our town)

Thursday?
 
2009-10-31 06:25:17 PM
Brown Sauce: While they're out at Trunk or Treat, the neighborhood teens will be trashing their homes.

/is it really safer to teach your kids to take candy from car trunks?


Of course, it's much safer to teach your children to approach the backs of strangers' cars to get candy from people they don't know. Why do you have a problem with that, little boy??
 
2009-10-31 06:25:39 PM
Green Lantern Honnu: Derwood: I'm a father of 2 kids (ages 6 and 4), and I a) don't know any parents who are like this and b) saw none of this behavior during trick-or-treating (we had it on Thursday in our town)

Thursday?


That does seem odd. It makes sense to have it on the actual day when it's a weekend.
 
2009-10-31 06:26:27 PM
It's shocking, there are probably more pedophiles around here than normal people, I've seen three or four sexual predators in knife fights over who gets to take one of the few remaining kids home to molest him first.

Shockingly, there is a story very similar to that that is usually told about the rise of the Taliban. Happily, the hero, Sheik Omar, saved the day by killing at least one of the two competetors.
 
2009-10-31 06:27:26 PM
I just had a trick or treater who was too busy chatting on her cell phone to her friend to bother saying trick-or-treat. So I decided I was too busy to give her candy.
 
2009-10-31 06:27:41 PM
farkers. The only thing memorable for me being actually bad about Halloween was when I was around six and I ate candy until I threw up, Got the taste of vomit out of my mouth, and continued eating through my mountain.
I guess it's just another reason to hate the media for multiplying everybody's fears at the expense of reason/freedom.
 
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