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(Fark)   It's almost time kids. It's Fark's annual "Scary Story Thread" a day early due to the weekend. Don't miss it. Don't forget to wear your mask.The clock is ticking, it's almost time. Silver Shamrock   ( divider line
    More: Scary  
•       •       •

4012 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Oct 2009 at 2:23 PM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2009-10-30 02:36:43 PM  
My girlfriend once told me she was pregnant.
2009-10-30 02:37:42 PM  
I am waiting for the story from the Farker (from last year, I think) of the guy driving through the desert between LA and Vegas. IIRC, he came across an 'accident' but decided not to stop. Once he swerved around it, he saw a bunch of folks stand-up in the grass beside the road.

Ok, it was scarier when he told it.
2009-10-30 02:37:45 PM  

I do believe you but you are gonna get a ton of sh*t for that story with a handle like that...

; )
2009-10-30 02:38:08 PM  
this seems appropriate for this thread
from my backyard (new window)
2009-10-30 02:40:57 PM  

Teknowaffle: I am at work, so I can't access the Farkives for some reason, but several years ago someone posted a story about a thing they called "Fishy"

I don't believe in ghosts or anything, but that story was legitimately creepy and gave me chills.

Ask, and ye shall recieve.

Original post by Quexy:

Psychosis or ghost story, I don't know.

When I was little, probably about four or five years old, I had an imaginary "friend" (I think.) It was yellow and about four feet tall (taller than me at the time), bipedal, and had oversized eyes that always looked straight ahead otherwise, relatively human and naked. I called the thing "Fishy." The wierdest thing, though, was it scared the hell out of me. I didn't want anything to do with it, and I couldn't imagine, as a child, that it was coming from inside my head.

It "walked" (more like skated along) on the walls in the rooms of our house, and apparently could not leave those surfaces. I knew that if I played outside, it could only follow me to the limits of the garage. It always followed me, too, even though I often told it not to. I had difficulty concentrating on drawing things or reading because Fishy was always standing somewhere on the wall, looking over my shoulder. It did not ever sit down, it didn't have facial expressions, and it never made any noise.

The only times I ever interacted with Fishy were when I was sick in the middle of the night or when I woke up panicked from nightmares. Those times, if I looked at it intently, Fishy would methodically start drifting along the wall towards my parents' bedroom; around the corner, out the door, and down the hall. As soon as he was out of sight, I'd start calling for Mom (as in: "Mooooom, I'm gonna barrrrrf...") and she'd show up quickly (god bless ya, mom) to help me through it. Fishy would come back, though, as soon as I'd recovered. Then it would stare for the rest of the night, two days, or longer, in the direction of my parents' room.

It finally vanished when my sister was born in 1992. I was almost 8 years old by then, and I'd been ignoring Fishy for about a year, but not so much that I didn't notice it had learned to fly off the wall and visit the floor from time to time.

There was one instance, in the last two months of Fishy-ness when I saw it at someone else's house; a new home that friends of mine, two sisters, were moving into. Their father walked into the room where we were playing with the moving boxes to give us another one, and in the darkened laundry room behind him, filling the entire doorway at many times it's normal size, was Fishy, staring down the father's back. It wasn't scary, so much as irritating.

We moved away from there less than a year later.
2009-10-30 02:41:46 PM  
Several years ago I had an efriend on xBox live named DeMonGhOst. We'd sit up all hours of the night pwning n00bs on Halo and Call of Duty. The dude was a riot always talking trash, tea-bagging suck-faces and owning with a sniper.

One night we both logged on and played some fierce CTF but he didn't say a word. All I could hear was a little bit of static and distant whispers through the headset. I figured his kid brother broke the mic again and thought no more of is. That is until a few days later when the same eerie sound was coming though the comm. This went on for a few weeks but the gamming was kick-arse and the tea-bagging brutal so on we went.

A month or so later I was signing on earlier in the day than we usually played and saw his little brother was online. At this point I was pretty curious why my bud didn't scream obscenities at our opponents anymore and desperate enough to invite his kid brother to chat. After the usual, "wa'sups" I asked about DeMonGhOst. He told me his older brother HAD DIED IN A FIRERY CAR CRASH THE EXACT NIGHT I FIRST STARTED TO HEAR THE STATICY-WISPERING HISS!!111eleventy I was totally blown away! It creepped me out even further when he said the xBox was broken and would only play Stairway to Heaven by Zepplin.

I still hung with DeMonGhOst for a while but finally deleted his broke-ghost-a55 from my friends list when he couldn't buy Halo 3 and man, that was like 20 games ago.

/ Sorry in advance if I cost anyone a good night's sleep
2009-10-30 02:42:01 PM  
Once upon a time this guy got elected on two words, hope and change. Little did people know he was going to crash America. Then the zombie apocalypse began because the government wanted to make all your healthcare decisions for you. So they tried fear and panic so people would sign up for their 2000 page indoctrination manual on being a good health care citizen of the state.

The pyres of the dead lit up the sky, it was mid evil.

//The end.
2009-10-30 02:42:42 PM  

HKWolf: /silver shamrock

cuz no one else was going to do it:

Happy, Happy, Halloween, Halloween, Silver Shamrock (new window)
2009-10-30 02:42:51 PM  

PenguinTheRed: A man went to a hotel...

OK...that got me...
2009-10-30 02:42:55 PM  

steveurkel: i am pretty sure i have been to this place.

/grew up in south ga.

Valdosta Area?

This place was west of town towards Berlin, there was also an old church also in the cotton fields that walls were supposed to bleed. I wnet there but it never happened.
2009-10-30 02:43:06 PM  
During high school, we always hung out at one friend's house in particular. This one night, my friends & I decided to whip out the Ouija Board in her basement really late at night. After playing a while, we got the girl's (who's house we were at) grandmother. After a couple of boring yes/no questions, we asked her to "prove to us", show us she was there. And I KID YOU NOT, the rocking chair started to rock on the OTHER side of the room. After freaking the #%&@ out and trying to rationalize what happened(which we couldn't), we just concluded OK, this was a joke, that didn't just really happen. I suggested that maybe it was just the A/C vent and looked around for them. The A/C vent was on our side of the room, nowhere near the chair. Yeah, that was the last time I ever went there.
2009-10-30 02:45:02 PM  
One day a friend and I were watching TV in my living room (I no longer live there) when we saw a piece of paper that I had laid on my frogs' aquarium rotate 180 degrees. A few days later another friend had joined us in my living room, watching a DVD when the DVD case that I had set on a table elevated about 6 inches and then flew about 4-5 feet across the room. We all three stared at one another, mouths open in shock at what had happened. My cat took off at a full sprint across the room then tuned and stared at "something" for a few minutes.

I experienced two other "ghostly" things there. One night I was laying awake in bed when I felt someone or something sit on the foot of the bed, I could tell the mattress had dipped down near my feet. Whatever it was that caused that to happen ended several minutes later when I felt the mattress shift back to its normal position. I was playing my Playstation when the second thing happened. I felt an icy sensation on the outside of my left knee, a split second later I felt an icy sensation on the inside of my left knee, then, after about twice the length of time between the first and second icy touches I felt a third on my right knee.

I don't know what it was, but I never felt threatened.
2009-10-30 02:45:08 PM  
Eastern Airlines Flight 401 that crashed in 1972, in the Florida Everglades . There were 101 people killed in the crash, most were killed immediately but a few died a little later of their injuries.

The airline salvaged the galley equipment from the plane. I know this is a fact because the infrared oven on Flight 401 was made by my ex husband's former company, Foster Refrigerator (formerly of Hudson, New York). The salvaged infrered oven was cleaned, tested and reinstalled in a new airplane that was built.

In 1982, my teenage son was working a summer clean-up detail for my ex-husband at the Foster plant in Hudson. At the far end of the then mostly deserted plant, my son found some old equipment covered in wood, plastic and tarps; a new looking infrared oven was also under the tarps. Since, I had tested a prototype home version of their infrared oven with much success and begged to keep it; my son came home and suggested I get my husband to bring the unit home for me to use.

When I told to my ex-husband that my son had found an infrared oven in the warehouse and asked if he could he bring it home for me; I was told the incredulous story of Flight 401 and the haunting of the newer plane that utilized the scavenged oven from Flight 401. Of course, I did not believe the story and thought my ex was just making excuses not to bring the oven home or trying to pull a joke on me. I called my best friend, whose husband was corporate treasurer of Foster Refrigerator. She had never heard the story but they had only been married a year. When her husband came home she asked him about the oven in the warehouse; without saying anything else. Her husband then told her the same exact story about the oven and the hauntings that my husband had told me.

Although, then CEO of Eastern, Frank Borman, wanted everyone to belive the ghost stories were Cr*p and a bunch of lies; the truth is that the stories of the two dead pilots from Flight 401 haunting the new plane were completely true.

Eventually, (after several sightings of the pilot and co-pilot from flight 401 appearing on the newer plane - both appeared inside the infrared oven)the Foster infrared oven was pulled off the plane when three flight attendants saw the ghostly pilot in the oven while they were trying to serve a meal to passengers. They called the pilot of the plane and he saw the apparition too and immediately retired and quit flying as soon as they landed. At that point, Eastern got rid of the oven.

I do not know if the book mentions what happened to the oven but the oven was removed from the plane and sent back to Foster Refrigerator, where it sat in a remote part of the warehouse, covered up and unused for many years thereafter. I am certain no one ever used the oven again.

I think it is key to remember here that this was an infrared oven and if you recall most ghostly activites recorded by researchers involve infrared technology. Something about infrared and ghosts.......something bizarre, supernatural and totally true.
2009-10-30 02:45:17 PM  
I found this written in a NYC bar bathroom stall. I have shuddered in fear ever since.

"I've got a monkey in my butt."
Within my butt there lies a monkey.  This monkey doesn't swing. This monkey doesn't hang. 
It's rather cramped in my butt. This monkey is wrapped in the warmth of my colon and sleeping soundly.
I wanted to have monkeys fly from my butt to herald a happening about which I made the following statement.
"That will happen when monkeys fly from my butt."
It happened, and I was trapped. My butt did not eject flying monkeys, yet I proclaimed that this would happen.
In shame, I acquired some monkeys, lubricant and some fake wings. Applying the lubricant was a chore in that monkeys rarely sit still for this kind of thing. I abandoned the wings once I had been pelted with fresh simian feces enough times to not need to experience it again.
The monkey's needed to get in my butt. I tried showing them a banana and shoving it my butt hoping to have one them chase the fruit into my colon.  No such luck, Monkey see--monkey do.  The beasts began shoving bananas in their own asses. I had a pack of monkeys with bananas shoved in their butts.  I figured that had to be breaking some kind of law. 
(On an evolutionary side note:  The monkeys did learn to use the lube smeared on their fur.  It's a travesty that I will never publish these findings.)
Hours later, I had a few monkey's in my ass. How they got up there involved four cats, a copy of Catcher in the Rye and a yellow hat.  The details of this event are too laborious to describe.
Off I went to show the people to whom I proclaimed "If that happens, monkeys will fly from my butt."  that monkeys will, indeed, fly from my butt.
It was more of a dead monkey ooze. The mess was without compare, and I have since been shunned from the community.
If you know anyone who removes ass monkeys, please call me.

2009-10-30 02:45:17 PM  
Every middle aged or elderly woman in Baltimore insists their house is haunted.

They also insisted that they are of some fractional percentage of Native American lineage (they usually insist they are something like 1/32 Blackfoot).

"Blackfoot" is what White people say about great-great-great-great-grandma when they don't want to say "Black."
2009-10-30 02:45:30 PM  
Enter a 3rd Chili and call them Larry Daryl and Daryl.
2009-10-30 02:45:53 PM  
Several of my genes have made it into the next generation.
2009-10-30 02:46:02 PM  
one time i was scrolling through farks scary stories, it was a fresh thread with maybe 40 entries, when i got to the end of the first 50, i noticed the entries had ballooned to 500+. i thought wow that was fast. then when i refreshed, there was only 54. true story bro
2009-10-30 02:46:15 PM  

Kyndig: Teknowaffle: I am at work, so I can't access the Farkives for some reason, but several years ago someone posted a story about a thing they called "Fishy"

I don't believe in ghosts or anything, but that story was legitimately creepy and gave me chills.

Ask, and ye shall recieve.

Original post by Quexy:


Still creeps me out.
2009-10-30 02:46:49 PM  
My unemployment runs out on December 26th and I will be homeless in January.
2009-10-30 02:47:24 PM  
I was visiting my Mom one Christmas season, and was helping her make a cake for dessert. I had to shave chocolate into tiny curls. So, she said, go out in the garage and grab a newspaper from one of the grocery bags I put them in for recycling. As I got up and opened the door to the garage, I remarked, "You know, this is the first Christmas without Grandpa." He had passed away earlier that year.

I went out to the garage, and randomly picked a folded Indianapolis Star out of the full grocery bag in the corner. I brought it back in, and unfolded it on the table. As I unfolded it, it revealed my Grandfather's photo and obituary. His photo, staring right back at me. My Mom and I were stunned. I still am.

I'm not a believer in anything other than coincidence and the human imagination, but sometimes, things just are too freaky to explain.

It's an absolutely true story.
2009-10-30 02:48:27 PM  
One night I was sleeping alone and woke up on my left side. I was uncomfortable so I turned over to my right side and felt a felt a big hairy arm fall over my face. Chills ran up my spine as I reached up with my right arm and felt a hand.

I yelled and pushed the arm away and heard a thud and a crash. I ran to the doorway and turned on the lights....the room was empty.

I then realized my left arm was asleep, I had cut off the blood circulation when I was sleeping on my left side and when I turned over to my right the arm had just flopped over.

The crash? When I leaped out of bed my left arm had hit the nightstand lamp and knocked it over..
2009-10-30 02:49:22 PM  

Action Replay Nick: I chuckled at my own stupidity

Welcome to the rest of humanity, Nick.
2009-10-30 02:50:02 PM  

nygenxer: My unemployment runs out on December 26th and I will be homeless in January.

Outstanding, you'll have some good ones for the thread next year, then. All the cool supernatural, evil stuff always happens to homeless people. No one believes them, you see.
2009-10-30 02:50:08 PM  
Shadow People In house

I had 3 separate experiences in the first house we lived at growing up. These are all cast-iron in my memory.

One, was waking up in the middle of the night to see clearly 2 shadow-figures standing at the foot of my bed. I remember laying there, but not being able to make noise by screaming, i.e. nothing would come out of my mouth. I'm pretty sure I fainted.

The second was waking up in the middle of the night, and for some reason I needed to go into the dining room. I walk in, stand in the middle of the room, and look in the corner, whereupon a shadow comes out of the corner and toward me. This time, I screamed and could make sound, which woke up my mom who came and got me.

The last one, and most frightening, was waking up in the middle of the night for this. my parents bedroom had a doorway to the kitchen (weird house, it was built in the 20's) that had a step on it. I woke up, and walked to that step and sat down. Again, shadow-figure came to "get me". I vividly remember being picked up, trying to scream but nothing would come out, and getting to the end of the hallway. lastly, ending up back at the step.

Now, all of these could have been night terrors of some sort. But I can't stress enough how absolutely terrifying each of these experiences were, and still frighten me when I think about them. I've thought about writing a letter to the family that lives there now to see if they've had children who had similar experiences.

basement calling

the second house, around 3rd grade.

When i was around 5th grade, (i was a latchkey kid all my life) I came home from school and let myself in. Not too long after I got home and sat down to watch tv, I heard my mom yell for me in the basement. I called out "mom, you down there" and she repeated my name. I went to the basement, and into the laundry room, and nothing was there. I ran so fast out of the house, and stood out by the curb until someone got home.

THAT one was definitely a real experience, occuring in the middle of the day, i can't possibly blame it on a night terror. it was absolutely terrifying.
2009-10-30 02:50:09 PM  
Here's the closest thing to a ghost story I have:

It's finals week my junior year of college and I'm trying to get some rest for my 8am exam when I wake up to a crash like a dropped glass or plate or something. A couple of seconds later I hear two of my suite-mates moving around talking to each other and then they run the vacuum. I look at the clock, it's 3:30 in the morning, I just want some sleep, so I bury my head in my pillows and wait for the vacuuming to stop. Eventualy I get back to sleep.

Next morning, after I get back from my exam, I talk to my suite-mate and start tearing into him for braking a glass and waking me up in the middle of the night. I get about two sentences in when he stops me and asked if I broke the cup last night. I said no, he said it wasn't him, and my other suitemate was the second one out to invesitgate the crash.

To this day no one knows exactly what happened to cause the glass to shatter, but it wasn't like falling off a drying rack or something. It was placed normally onto our coffee table, was completely shattered, and exploded with enough force for shards to have gotten into containers that were taller than the glass was.
2009-10-30 02:50:09 PM  
I ran out of weed for about three hours one saturday afternoon.

That was pretty scary
2009-10-30 02:50:13 PM  
Hey! There's a spider on your back!
2009-10-30 02:50:25 PM  
Fark is closed on weekends now?
2009-10-30 02:51:13 PM  
and when he woke up in the morning she was still in his bed. AHHHHHH!

and then she wanted to make him eggs. AHHHHHH!

and he said "Oh I dont have time I got a meeting at 12:30"

and she said "I'll drive you there". AHHHHHH!

and he said "No no it's at my office it's like a half hour commute"

she said "I don't mind it's on the way to my kid's preschool" AHHHHH! AHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

2009-10-30 02:51:28 PM  

GaryPDX: Once upon a time this guy got elected on two words, hope and change. Little did people know he was going to crash America. Then the zombie apocalypse began because the government wanted to make all your healthcare decisions for you. So they tried fear and panic so people would sign up for their 2000 page indoctrination manual on being a good health care citizen of the state.

The pyres of the dead lit up the sky, it was mid evil.

//The end.

Can't you stop being an ass for one Halloween thread? Would it kill you?
2009-10-30 02:52:04 PM  
Not necessarily scary, but freaky.

My mother-in-law is big into psychics and what not so my wife got her a seance type reading for her birthday last year. So on the way to the place they drive by a chinese restaurant that they have not had for a while but want to go to soon...more on that later.

So they get to the reading and the lights are low and the lady makes it known that my mothers family is in the room. She is talking in the voices and saying things how the deceased would say them. Talking about old stuff they did back in the 50's about eating circus peanuts while watching some obscure tv show and what not. Stuff the hired seance lady would have no way of knowing. She told us that they like my sister-in-law's boyfriend *** and that he is very funny. (he is very funny) They like my artwork. They say that my wife will get pregnant and have a girl. My wife did get pregnant and now we have a girl. They said that they should go eat at that Chinese restaurant they were talking about on the drive over. All weird stuff that this lady could not have known. My wife got touched on the shoulder and the room got cold. Just weird sh*t. Stuff about how my wife's grandpa has been acting odd and that they don't approve of his behavior and he will have to answer to them on the other side. They said there is no hell.

It really makes me think there is something more to this life after we die..I know Fark hates that sh*t, but I'm a believer. There is no way this lady could have learned all this stuff on her own. There were spirits there.

So after ward, we went to the chinese restaurant they told us to go to and we discussed it all. It was pretty cool.
2009-10-30 02:52:22 PM  
Our office building is haunted. No special day of the year; no particular scary manifestations, but it is haunted nonetheless. I work in the Empire Building in Augusta, GA. It used to be the Empire Furniture building. Four stories, roughly 125 years old. It has an old spiral stairwell which goes up 3 stories, and an elevator, which goes to all four. My office is on the third floor.

Our ghost is a lady. She is neither malevolent nor playful. She just is. Once in a while, usually a couple of times a month, I will hear the door which communicates from the third floor to the stairwell close, before anybody else gets here. The sound is distinctive. The stairwell does not open to the outdoors, so it's not an air current thing. Besides, it's a steel fire door with a positive closer. That's the limit of my experience with our lady. My co-worker from the second floor, who also gets here before sunrise, has seen her. He got here one morning, and saw a woman watching him out of the third floor window. He comes up to the third floor to see who has gotten to work so early, and not only is there nobody here, the lights aren't even on. Other than that, she's content to let us do our thing, and not raise a fuss.
2009-10-30 02:52:37 PM  
A repeat from last Friday's Smoking Gun post. Apologies. I have to go to a meeting and I'm just not drunk enough.

Why yes, I do live in this mansion. It has been in our family for generations. It seems creepy but you learn to love living here.

People say the house was built on the blood of the poor workers who toiled in Grand papa's textile mills. Partially true, I can tell you. Grand papa was a businessman with an eye on the profits. "Great profits do not go to the generous spirit" he would say.

But this mansion was his down fall, you see. He didn't want it but Grand mama did. She thought she deserved such a place. Grand papa tried to build her dream but he wasn't generous to the construction workers nor to the suppliers. He cut corners. The mansion, it is said was cursed by a thousand souls.

When Grand papa and Grand mama moved in to the mansion they quickly learned it would be no home. There was always a problem; plumbing would fail, electricity would short, the house creaked and moaned from day one.

All too soon, Grand mama couldn't take it any more. She argued with Grand papa that they should burn down the house and be done with it. Grand papa wouldn't hear of it. The mansion, for better or for worse had become a symbol of the family. Money had been invested. A profit must be made. The people of the city would laugh at them. His honor had become a part of this mansion on the hill.

One night, they fought and words turned to blows. As they argued, the house creaked violently as if it were tearing itself asunder. Grand papa couldn't take Grand mama's complaints another moment. He grabbed a candlestick holder and beat her to death in the drawing room.

And he said that as Grand mama's blood soaked in to the wooden floor the creaking stopped. The mansion became noticeably calmer and a feeling of peace descended for the first time ever. All the mansion wanted was a little acknowledgment, a sacrifice if you will.

Grandpapa quickly learned that it didn't have to be family blood. When ever the mansion creaked, he just summoned a worker to his home. He was, unnaturally generous to this worker. He would feed him a fine dinner with the best wine. He would take him in to the drawing room and give him a fine cigar and a glass of brandy. It was probably the best evening the poor wretch ever had in his miserably life. But, alas, it always ended with Grand papa cutting the poor wretch's throat and letting his blood soak in the wood of the old mansion.

But, enough of these old wives tales. They are just stories told by the illiterate townsfolk to scare their children. You've come to see the 1964 Ford Mustang. Yes, it does have less than 2000 miles on it. Is that good? Why no. No one else has ever responded to the Craigslist advertisement. Perhaps they were put off by the price. If you think $500 is too much so such an old car, we can, as Grand papa used to say, 'dicker about the price'. But first, let us repair to the dining room. There's a feast awaiting us. Afterward, we'll move to the grand drawing room for a relaxing brandy and a cigar. Then I will take you to the automobile. Ignore those creaks. It's just the house.
2009-10-30 02:52:53 PM  
The last person on earth sat alone in the bedroom on the sixtieth floor when he heard a knock at the door...
2009-10-30 02:53:02 PM  
It was Christmas eve, the one day family and children were allowed into the office. We're on the 13th floor (the Phone Company isn't superstitious) and everyone has been fed, all the kids got their present from Santa (actually Al in accounting dressed as Santa) and the big boss comes out and says a few words after which everyone is dismissed early. Everyone walks to the elevator bank and the crowd pushes into the first elevator as if its the only elevator. No room to even turn to face the door. Behind, some woman pushes her kid in and crams herself in, and then the elevator strains and the doors finally creak closed. Poor kid couldn't have been more then 6 or 7 and then the unimaginable happens. The elevator drops about a foot and stops and the lights go out. We're stuck in the elevator on Christmas eve. Not scary you say? At the time the elevator stopped abruptly it forced out a small, evil, nasty grease fart right into this poor kids face. People start to panic as the lights flash and then remain out. Screams of terror cover this poor kids crys. And then the unimaginable. With all the noise, confusion and onion dip pressing on the innards, a large, silent weapons grade fart hits this kid in the face like a brick. So thick and dense is this cloud, and so tightly packed is the humanity in the panicked elevator that this poor kid just starts to cough and retch. Since the cloud that hit him didn't move (it was too heavy) and everyone was preoccupied no one noticed his desperation, not even his mother. Just at that moment the lights come on, everyone cheers, and the elevator goes express to the lobby. As soon as this kid, now in tears and gasping for life saving oxygen reaches the lobby, mommy gets him out of the elevator and asks him whats wrong, assuming of course its just fear. Just then the kid heaves up 3 reindeer cookie heads and part of a salami sandwich onto mommies new christmas coat.

While this might not scare everyone, just imagine you were this kid. I often wonder if this kid has ever recovered or if he was scarred for life. That kid would be 31 or 32 by now if he lived that long. Yes, I often wonder.
2009-10-30 02:53:09 PM  

AnthraxRipple: There was that time there was a perfectly good TFD thread going, and then it was greenlit.

Wait, I've heard this one! Then some douchebag TFer gets all butthurt because other people are allowed to read & contribute stories of their own.

It's terrifying!
2009-10-30 02:53:37 PM  
Someone sponsored me for Total Fark.

Then I subscribed.

oooooooooeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooaaahhhhhhhh mammmaaaaaaa!

/Now that's scary there. I don't care who you are.
2009-10-30 02:54:27 PM  
One Halloween, my boyfriend and I indulged in a little LSD. We were having fun, sitting in the yard, watching people go by. Suddenly, a squirrel fell on my head. It panicked and got all tangled up in my hair, as I screamed "Get if off!Get it off of me!!"
2009-10-30 02:54:47 PM  
I got one!
Many years ago - I was married.


That is all.
2009-10-30 02:54:53 PM  
I deeply and truly love my girlfriend. I wouldn't hesitate to call her perfect. Her hair is long and silky smooth, her eyes are are like two lagoons always burning with passion and mischef. her nose is perfectly sculpted, as if michaelangelo's chisel had crafted it by hand. her lips would rival the mona lisa's for their entrancing beauty. Her skin is soft and warm against mine. Her blood is sweet and pure, her heart beats strong in the open air. Her bones glsten white like porcelain in the moonlight. The soft gurgling coming from her throat reminds me of a calm mountain brook. I can hardly decide what parts to keep.
2009-10-30 02:56:04 PM  
I have night terrors, they suck.

I had just fallen asleep when I almost threw my wife out of bed one night as we slept when her back turned into a Cthulu like mass of tentacles and an unearthly voice echoed in my ears.
2009-10-30 02:56:12 PM  
I don't know if this falls under scary but it does fall into horror.

Back in the day I was a lifeguard. Out door pool. Anyway I was getting ready to open. I was walking up the stair and I see this kid running towards the street. Cue the garbage truck going far too fast for a laveway.It was like in slow motion. I turn to run after the kid(about 5 years old) Yelling stop. As the words left my lips the kid was already under the rear wheels of the garbage truck. It ran right over her neck and chest and crushed her skull.I ran to the phone and called 911. The 911 operator instructed me to check the kid for vitals. So I did. I reach her and the truck had rolled off of her body. Her head was completely flat and her brain had popped out the top and rolled(slithered) right across the street.
Finally the ambulance arrived and the cops.
Anyway the cops started yelling at me and threatening me because I did not do cpr.
They made me pick up her brain and put it in a bag. They said it was my punishment for not doing cpr.
2009-10-30 02:56:49 PM  
This happened back when I was just two years old, so I have no recollection of it but my mother recounted the story to me recently. Late one night, my mom and I were in her bedroom watching television when she says I suddenly stood up and pointed to the open bedroom door and, in my limited 2 year old vocabulary, asked, "Who dat man?" She responded by telling me that there was no one there, but I kept asking, each time becoming more insistant. "Who dat man? Who dat MAN? WHO DAT MAN?" She got so freaked out that she gathered me up and went to stay at her mother's house.
2009-10-30 02:57:03 PM  
There is something to the infrared thing blogma. I had a video monitor in my daughter's room when she was an infant. it was audio/video that could be used independantly or together. I'd just have the audio on in my room like a normal baby monitor, but when I'd hear her crying I could flip on the monitor and make she was okay and going to go back to sleep.

I quickly noticed that there was a lot of activity on the screen when it was on in infrared mode. I totally dismissed it as dust particles at first, but there were so many orbs flying around her room, I just don't know what the hell it was. They'd zip around in every direction.

I don't believe that pictures of orbs are really anything more than dust or light messing with the lens. But I don't know what the hell was flying around her room. It was mezmerizing to watch.
2009-10-30 02:57:25 PM  
My story is not as scary as it is awesome. My girlfriend at the time lived in an apartment in her parents basement. She was in this tiny room that was usually used as storage, but as a child this was the room that her grandmother lived in. This was unknown to me at the time of our encounter.

One night I had a dream of something floating over the bed, not in a menacing way but more in a maternal, I am checking on you way. I woke up very peacefully and noticed that my girlfriend was also awake. I said, "I just had the strangest dream and told her about it". With a scared look on her face she recounted the same feeling of a person had been floating over the bed and checking on our well being. We had a brief conversation about it and went back to sleep. The next morning we were having breakfast with her parents and my girlfriend recounted the story to her as well. With a look of shock on her face, her mother told us that during the night she fell asleep watching television with a lit cigarette in her hand. As the cigarette was burning a whole into her comforter she had the same dream, only she knew it was her mother. She said her mother(the grandmother) said to her, "D, wake up,please wake up, wake up". She said this went on for a few minutes before her mother became agitated that she wouldn't wake up. Her last words to her, which actually prompted her to wake up was "I'm going to get the kids". This final statement is what got her to wake up and realize that the cigarette was dangerously close to igniting the whole bed. I guess Grandma was serious cause she made her way down to us and woke us both up in the most gentle way possible, maybe to let us know of the impending doom.

I am not a cynic nor am I believer, but this is what really made me think twice about messages from beyond.
2009-10-30 02:57:27 PM  
Just saw 'Paranormal Activity' last night, and had the entire evening to reflect on just how much my house looks like the one in the film...

So, no kicks...yadda yadda.
2009-10-30 02:57:45 PM  

vossiewulf: ... THERE IS SOMETHING HORRIBLE BEHIND YOU. I would end up taking the rest of the stairs two or three at a time.

I have always gotten that feeling at my house. OH GAWD, is that what that is?!!!!!!

/lives on historical land.
//Oh Fark!
2009-10-30 02:58:45 PM  
I can't believe I have to do this.

So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is "wut r u doing wit my daughter?" U tell ur girl n she say "my dad is ded". THEN WHO WAS PHONE?
2009-10-30 02:59:12 PM  
This one day my friend called and told me he had put in the 5 bucks for my TF and told me to go sign in, well I did and started to check things out on this thing FARK he told me about.
Well I let the TF thing expire but still now I never get any work done and I pretty sure I will be fired soon. I will then have to back to whoring my self out to fat chicks again.

Spooky huh?
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