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(USA Today)   So I asked myself what could be better than an actual headline reading "Unused bestiality law put to the test" and I have to say none. None more better   (usatoday.com) divider line 146
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21793 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Oct 2009 at 11:22 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-10-29 10:49:19 AM  
But what of pyronecropedobestiality? This is important.
 
2009-10-29 10:54:10 AM  
dahmers love zombie: But what of pyronecropedobestiality? This is important.

It's legal as long as it isn't a male animal. Because THAT would be disgusting...
 
2009-10-29 10:58:19 AM  
Was it his girlfriends Labrador? Was the dog dead? was it in full view of a daycare center?

It could indeed be better, Subby.
 
2009-10-29 11:01:49 AM  
what_now: Was it his girlfriends Labrador? Was the dog dead? was it in full view of a daycare center?

It could indeed be better, Subby.


One of the greatest threads ever...
 
2009-10-29 11:01:55 AM  
it would be better if it had been a robot dog. is it still bestiality if its a robot dog?
 
2009-10-29 11:12:52 AM  
One study, linked on the Humane Society Web page, found that 96% of juveniles who engaged in sexual abuse of animals also admitted to sex offenses against humans. In another study, some 37% of sexually violent juvenile offenders were found to have a history of animal sexual assault. An FBI study found that serial killers have a high rate of animal sexual abuse as well.

So, would they find numbers that high amongst people who were not criminals of some other kind?

I bet in Tennessee they would. And West Virginia. And Scotland. And New Zealand...
 
2009-10-29 11:19:02 AM  
thomps: it would be better if it had been a robot dog. is it still bestiality if its a robot dog?

We were having a perfectly tasteful pyronecrobestiality thread until you came in with your robobestiality. For shame.
 
2009-10-29 11:25:32 AM  
Muttsecks?
 
2009-10-29 11:25:59 AM  
um...but what if the dog is prancing around on all fours wearing something like this:
www.blogcdn.com
 
2009-10-29 11:26:13 AM  
Paris1127: dahmers love zombie: But what of pyronecropedobestiality? This is important.

It's legal as long as it isn't a male animal. Because THAT would be disgusting...


But what if you are training in the K9 unit? That's cool, right?
 
2009-10-29 11:27:04 AM  
Trollaholic: um...but what if the dog is prancing around on all fours wearing something like this:

Well then it's clearly asking for it, so at least it isn't rape.

//Also not rape if you say "Surprise!"
 
2009-10-29 11:27:17 AM  
Trollaholic What a slut!
 
2009-10-29 11:27:44 AM  
img510.imageshack.us
 
2009-10-29 11:27:50 AM  
pbfcomics.com

/Obligatory
//Hotlinked
 
2009-10-29 11:28:12 AM  
www.hearya.com

What's wrong with being beasty?
 
2009-10-29 11:28:21 AM  
Sgt Otter: Muttsecks?

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2009-10-29 11:28:29 AM  
i35.tinypic.com
 
2009-10-29 11:28:48 AM  
Is Nigel Tufnel a guest mod/min today?
 
2009-10-29 11:28:56 AM  
So it's ok to buy a dog and chop off his nuts or force a female dog to get pregnant. And it's OK for a vet to jerk off an animal. But if anyone else even jokingly plays with an animal (c.f. the K9 cop story), it's like a hanging offense.
 
2009-10-29 11:28:57 AM  
Headline is a shiat sandwich.
 
2009-10-29 11:29:12 AM  
Trollaholic: um...but what if the dog is prancing around on all fours wearing something like this:

farm1.static.flickr.com
 
2009-10-29 11:29:21 AM  
Paris1127: dahmers love zombie: But what of pyronecropedobestiality? This is important.

It's legal as long as it isn't a male animal. Because THAT would be disgusting...


What about lesbian bestiality?
 
2009-10-29 11:29:39 AM  
FTFA These people live all across the United States, and they know each other.

must be talking about Farkers
 
2009-10-29 11:29:56 AM  
I knew this thread would produce....and even in this short amount of time, it hasn't disappointed.....

and Trollaholic that dog is a hoebag and everybody knows it...
 
2009-10-29 11:30:32 AM  
I was scared to click. Thought I might know some of those animal farkers.
/throws up.
 
2009-10-29 11:30:53 AM  
Headline sucks donkey balls.
 
2009-10-29 11:32:19 AM  
If you need me, I'll be in my lab.
 
2009-10-29 11:34:02 AM  
The man, who told police he met his girlfriend "on the Internet and she is into bestiality," is still awaiting trial.

Yahoo! Personals strike again.
 
2009-10-29 11:34:10 AM  
FTA:
Audiences who watched the critically acclaimed documentary "Zoo" a few years ago heard Tait's voice, narrating his part in the story of a Washington State man who died of internal injuries after a sexual encounter with a horse.

Seriously? How are you going to punish these people worse than a real horse farking?

My take, if your farking the animal = illegal. If the animal is farking you = whatever. Course, you might have a serious impaction problem once Mr. Ed is done with your colon.
 
2009-10-29 11:34:59 AM  
dahmers love zombie: But what of pyronecropedobestiality? This is important.

(To the tune of Super-cali-fragil-istic-espi-ali-docious from Mary Poppins)

Xenohomonecropedapyrobestiality

Even though the sound of it is quite an illegality
Laws restricting pleasure are but superficiality
Xenohomonecropedapyrobestiality!

(Hump little animals, hump little guys
Hump little animals, hump little guys)

Well, xeno- that means different and I like them rather strange
Homo- that means similar and I like them just the same
Necro- that means dead and I like them rather stiff
Peda- that means youthful and on this I must insist

(Chorus)

Pyro- that means fire and I like them lit abit
Bestiality is for the fur that's just the fit
Put them all together and you've got a cozy kit
And if you think of jailing me I might not give a shiat

(Chorus)
 
2009-10-29 11:35:08 AM  
Okay, the headline writes itself, but it doesn't hurt that the District AG is named Bottoms.
 
2009-10-29 11:35:10 AM  
thomps: it would be better if it had been a robot dog. is it still bestiality if its a robot dog?

Master?
img442.imageshack.us
 
2009-10-29 11:35:38 AM  
Next thing you know, you won't even be able to buy peanut butter there anymore.

/NTTAWWT
 
2009-10-29 11:36:18 AM  
Make a law against anything. Someone will be prosecuted for it.
 
2009-10-29 11:36:59 AM  
www.motifake.com

/Apt + Rule 34 bonus
 
2009-10-29 11:37:19 AM  
So, by the new laws, you're in trouble if you do this, or if you help someone do it, or if you let it happen on your property, or if you have pictures of someone doing it.

I wonder if they prosecute you if you talk about someone doing it? 'Cause we could all be in trouble then . . .
 
2009-10-29 11:37:45 AM  

img88.imageshack.us
 
2009-10-29 11:38:25 AM  
The Angry Hand of God: If you need me, I'll be in my lab.

Window or aisle?
 
2009-10-29 11:38:25 AM  
So I asked myself what could be better than an actual headline reading "Unused bestiality law put to the test" and I have to say none. None more better

I've got one. It was from about 1997 or so and forced my hometown newpaper to print an apology. Since it was before any of us had any idea that one day we would be sitting in fake news forums trying to one-up each other on farked up headlines and I was only 17 no, I don't have a link, but I did look for one.

The headline? "Man Pulls For Home Team" seems innocuous until you realize it was a story about a man being arrested for masturbating in the dugout at my high school while watching the girl's softball team practice.
 
2009-10-29 11:39:01 AM  
It was Rep. Debra Maggart, R-Hendersonville, who pushed to get a bestiality bill on the books. The law makes it a class E felony to engage in sexual activity with an animal, or to help someone else do so, or to allow it to happen on one's property, or to take or possess pictures or videos of such activities, or to advertise, organize or promote that sort of behavior. The law makes exceptions for commercial animal husbandry activities.

i wish that people would try to spell correctly. it should read "a classy felony"

quit using letters to make thinks look and sound cute
 
2009-10-29 11:39:45 AM  
www.filmspotting.net

It's not Bestiality. It's Interspecies erotica.

/Woof means Woof.
 
2009-10-29 11:39:56 AM  
what_now: Was it his girlfriends Labrador? Was the dog dead? was it in full view of a daycare center?

It could indeed be better, Subby.


img.photobucket.com
 
2009-10-29 11:40:25 AM  
Ashtrey: So I asked myself what could be better than an actual headline reading "Unused bestiality law put to the test" and I have to say none. None more better

I've got one. It was from about 1997 or so and forced my hometown newpaper to print an apology. Since it was before any of us had any idea that one day we would be sitting in fake news forums trying to one-up each other on farked up headlines and I was only 17 no, I don't have a link, but I did look for one.

The headline? "Man Pulls For Home Team" seems innocuous until you realize it was a story about a man being arrested for masturbating in the dugout at my high school while watching the girl's softball team practice.


So he gets off on watching dogs then?
 
2009-10-29 11:41:54 AM  
If convicted would there be a separate sex registry that you'd be placed on? Would they restrict where you can live based on proximity to zoos, pets, etc.? Is this a lesser offense than rape? If so I can see the defense that my client was having sex with a bearded clam being bandied about. The possibilities here are endless.
 
2009-10-29 11:42:10 AM  
Mr. Hands
 
2009-10-29 11:42:15 AM  
bighairyguy: So he gets off on watching dogs then?

Nope. Fat chicks.
 
2009-10-29 11:42:22 AM  
Ashtrey:
The headline? "Man Pulls For Home Team" seems innocuous until you realize it was a story about a man being arrested for masturbating in the dugout at my high school while watching the girl's softball team practice.


Nice contribution.

\Did he cum though?
 
2009-10-29 11:42:35 AM  

"There are laws against cruelty to animals, but they dealt more into the neglect of the animals, which wasn't the case here," Bottoms said.


So much win in that article...
 
2009-10-29 11:42:47 AM  
Ashtrey: So I asked myself what could be better than an actual headline reading "Unused bestiality law put to the test" and I have to say none. None more better

I've got one. It was from about 1997 or so and forced my hometown newpaper to print an apology. Since it was before any of us had any idea that one day we would be sitting in fake news forums trying to one-up each other on farked up headlines and I was only 17 no, I don't have a link, but I did look for one.

The headline? "Man Pulls For Home Team" seems innocuous until you realize it was a story about a man being arrested for masturbating in the dugout at my high school while watching the girl's softball team practice.




Hahahahaha!! Nice story bro ;)
 
2009-10-29 11:44:15 AM  
bighairyguy: So he gets off on watching dogs then?

Dude it was softball, lesbians.
 
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