FARK.com: (4732374) Mattel releases Palm Beach sugar daddy Ken doll. No, really

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(Topless Robot)		Mattel releases Palm Beach sugar daddy Ken doll. No, really (toplessrobot.com)		138
		More: Amusing, Mattel, Palm Beach sugar daddy Ken, Palm Beach, Pregnant Trailer Trash Barbie, gender roles, Joan Rivers, barbies, George Hamilton

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26245 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Oct 2009 at 12:34 PM | Favorite | share:

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Psumek		2009-10-28 01:05:41 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: miscreant: DROxINxTHExWIND: My "come the fark on" wasn't directed at you. It was my first reaction to seeing sexually suggestive panties for a little girl.

And you have to wonder, who at WalMart ordered these panties and thought it would be cute or a good idea.

I mean, you're in the boardroom and the guy brings out a bunch of panties on a diplay rack and you say:

"Ok, 'Dick Goes Here' may be a little suggestive. Scrap those. Um, 'No grass on the field but...PLAY BALL!'...those may be a little confusing. Oh, here's a pair that suggests that a little girl can trade her vagina as currency. Yeah, those are appropriate."

Or "It's better than the 'Santa can cum down my chimney anyday' T-shirts we sold last Christmas"

Psumek		2009-10-28 01:06:45 PM

tekmo: Psumek: They need to bring in an overweight and kinda slutty "Fawn" doll. That's usually the kind of girl you see hagging it up.

I bet you think, "what a handsome couple" when you see most gay guy/straight girl combos. I bet you also think that all lesbians are mannish and ugly.

Nah but as long as we're doing stereotype dolls I say why not go balls to the wall.

tekmo		2009-10-28 01:10:05 PM

Prank Call: That was beautiful.

adp1215		2009-10-28 01:10:20 PM

It comes with knee pads, no gag reflex and a tube of KY for authenticity

And A Bit Else		2009-10-28 01:10:44 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu = Total win! Would laugh again.

pxlboy		2009-10-28 01:10:45 PM

Doctor Funkenstein: pxlboy: Doctor Funkenstein: Ha! I am so buying this for my buddy's son for Christmas. Dude will probably punch me right in the neck.

awesome.

Heh - I'm serious. I may even tell the kid ahead of time.

"Let's mess with your Dad, buddy. When you open this gift, look him right in the eye and shout, 'It's fabulous! But I'm tuckered out from all this gift opening. Time for a disco nap!'"

I'll give him cash to do it. Little bastard will do it, too.

get this kid a TF account.

blkhwk86		2009-10-28 01:11:52 PM

OMG Soooooooooo gay. Like soo gay he belongs in the Castro in SF on Pride weekend.

/is gay
//that is too gay for me.

nstutsman		2009-10-28 01:14:17 PM

BlueDog: How come the black dolls are so much cheaper?...

made me think of this
geeksbling.com

theoriginalslash		2009-10-28 01:14:26 PM

They mean Gay Sugar Daddy Ken, right? NTTAWWT.

dbrikhs		2009-10-28 01:16:40 PM

Olmy's Jart: Prank Call of Cthulhu: Looks like Gay Pimp Ken. If you pull the string in his back, he says, "Those biatches had better have money for me, do you know what I am saying?"Is Ken gonna have to smack a biatch up?"

/ftfm

approves
img.vpimg.net

gorgor		2009-10-28 01:18:26 PM

New for Christmas, Octo-Barbie takes it in the Pooper.
http://tinyurl.com/yk3nsg9
(copy and paste)

burgle23		2009-10-28 01:18:40 PM

Only a woman, is allowed to touch me there.

dbrikhs		2009-10-28 01:21:52 PM

gorgor: New for Christmas, Octo-Barbie takes it in the Pooper.
http://tinyurl.com/yk3nsg9
(copy and paste)

Ok, should I even ask why she has tentacles?

Doctor Funkenstein		2009-10-28 01:22:03 PM

pxlboy: get this kid a TF account.

Oh, man, he's 8. I can't throw him to the wolves like that.

"Hey, Uncle Funkenstein, someone named gorgor posted a link. I'm going to check it out."

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!"

"Why is Col. Sanders wrestling that chicken?"

*sobbing*
"They're not wrestling...."

TheSheriffIsNear		2009-10-28 01:24:03 PM

My name is Ken so I'm not really getting a kick out of these replies or that damned doll

The_Maxxx		2009-10-28 01:26:54 PM

so obviously a hoax but don't let that stop the fun.

Prank Call of Cthulhu		2009-10-28 01:26:56 PM

JustTheTip		2009-10-28 01:27:17 PM

That's why my daughter's Barbies don't bother with any Nancy-boy Kens. They prefer a real man, GI Joe.

Pandora's Handbag		2009-10-28 01:30:31 PM

sisterinarms		2009-10-28 01:31:19 PM

So with the release of Joan Jett barbie (linked here: Joan Jett ) the lesbians & gay men have a doll to play with. Hooray!

DysphoricMania		2009-10-28 01:31:25 PM

I'm waiting on "Porn Star Barbie" and her "(Crushed)Dream Movie Studio"...

Or the "Free Candy Abduction Van Skipper Playset".

I think the second one would be a hit on the playground.

KingPsyz		2009-10-28 01:37:46 PM

The_Maxxx: so obviously a hoax but don't let that stop the fun.

Sorry, it's real Link (new window)

ow! that hurt!		2009-10-28 01:40:54 PM

This is a collectors item for adults. Idiot blogger is an idiot.

FVendetta		2009-10-28 01:41:30 PM

That is so a Sasan jacket from So NoToriOus.

/And I totally want one in short human girl size.

Paschalyam		2009-10-28 01:44:11 PM

WANT!

Scorched Colon		2009-10-28 01:48:03 PM

I'm guessing someone at Mattel confused "Palm Beach Sugar Daddy" with "Gay Miami Fashion Designer".

detfrost1		2009-10-28 01:49:45 PM

Porsche914: Not surprised, always thought Ken was gay.

/NTTAWWT

He is, and he's into the castration fetish, such a total bottom he doesn't want a penis or testicles.

BigHarv		2009-10-28 01:55:21 PM

Can't find it on a Mattel site, but apparently it's a 2010 release, so it might not be up there. They have weirder ones, I'm sorry to say.
Link (new window)

Harry Freakstorm		2009-10-28 01:56:33 PM

I graduated top of my class Yale '62. My father sent me overseas to study international business to avoid the draft. Married to Barbie is 68 with a kid on the way, I got my draft rating knocked down. Kid never made it past the second trimester.

Settled in to the Public Affairs business. Barbie dumped me in 73 took half my stuff. Lives with a Texan in Houston, Waco or some place like that. Started my own Lobbying firm. The business is based in a Bahama mailbox so I pay 0 dollars taxes. Got in to the Republican revolution in 81 and made a fortune setting up meetings with the india er, Native Americans and their casino plans.

Had my first bypass in 86 and met Greg. Male nurse. Yow! He was my first real love. Played me worse than Barbie did though. I still miss him. In 91, I was on the back 9 with Greenspan and I suffered a major heart attack. My contacts moved me right up the donor list and I got a heart from some suburban brat who rolled his Mustang and left himself brain dead. Wish they could have transplanted a few other things off of him. Oh well, Viagra fills the need nicely.

From 01 to 08 I was racking in the cash. Access buddy. People were sending me checks just on the chance that I would drop their name. I'll be getting dividends until the wars end. Someone has to profit, right?

Anyhoo. It's me and my dog and a couple of Cubano pool boys who like my yacht, my booze, my pills and my other things. I get radio announcers and TV people dropping by. Sometimes, we cruise down to the DR and have ourselves a little orgy if you get my drift. Life is good.

Barbie? I see her once in a while when her plastic surgeon calls or her herpes flairs up and she needs to go offshore for treatment. She says I gave it to her but I think she gave it to me. It doesn't matter anymore. Well, I have to be at the gym in 26 minutes. I'm not working out. Just sight seeing.

Olfin Bedwere		2009-10-28 02:01:45 PM

Q&D

KingPsyz		2009-10-28 02:08:06 PM

Harry Freakstorm: I graduated top of my class Yale '62. My father sent me overseas to study international business to avoid the draft. Married to Barbie is 68 with a kid on the way, I got my draft rating knocked down. Kid never made it past the second trimester.

Settled in to the Public Affairs business. Barbie dumped me in 73 took half my stuff. Lives with a Texan in Houston, Waco or some place like that. Started my own Lobbying firm. The business is based in a Bahama mailbox so I pay 0 dollars taxes. Got in to the Republican revolution in 81 and made a fortune setting up meetings with the india er, Native Americans and their casino plans.

Had my first bypass in 86 and met Greg. Male nurse. Yow! He was my first real love. Played me worse than Barbie did though. I still miss him. In 91, I was on the back 9 with Greenspan and I suffered a major heart attack. My contacts moved me right up the donor list and I got a heart from some suburban brat who rolled his Mustang and left himself brain dead. Wish they could have transplanted a few other things off of him. Oh well, Viagra fills the need nicely.

From 01 to 08 I was racking in the cash. Access buddy. People were sending me checks just on the chance that I would drop their name. I'll be getting dividends until the wars end. Someone has to profit, right?

Anyhoo. It's me and my dog and a couple of Cubano pool boys who like my yacht, my booze, my pills and my other things. I get radio announcers and TV people dropping by. Sometimes, we cruise down to the DR and have ourselves a little orgy if you get my drift. Life is good.

Barbie? I see her once in a while when her plastic surgeon calls or her herpes flairs up and she needs to go offshore for treatment. She says I gave it to her but I think she gave it to me. It doesn't matter anymore. Well, I have to be at the gym in 26 minutes. I'm not working out. Just sight seeing.

web.missouri.edu

PeterPipersPickledPecker		2009-10-28 02:13:33 PM

srewolf		2009-10-28 02:17:31 PM

Pandora's Handbag: Doctor Funkenstein: pxlboy: Doctor Funkenstein: Ha! I am so buying this for my buddy's son for Christmas. Dude will probably punch me right in the neck.

awesome.

Heh - I'm serious. I may even tell the kid ahead of time.

"Let's mess with your Dad, buddy. When you open this gift, look him right in the eye and shout, 'It's fabulous! But I'm tuckered out from all this gift opening. Time for a disco nap!'"

I'll give him cash to do it. Little bastard will do it, too.

I don't know what a disco nap is, but would love to see that senario play out! Do it do it do it!

I would love to see this play out but unfortunately, as BigHarv said it's not available until 2010.

OscarTamerz		2009-10-28 02:17:53 PM

"Where shall we go for our next adventure, boys town in the Patpong district of Bangkok or some hard core hard bodies in Budapest, decisions, decisions? Might even try the Philippines this time. Just going to have to tell Barbie that it's another boring business trip to Iowa. I've kept it on the down low all these years so there's no reason she'd suspect anything now. Thtupid bith"

gorgor		2009-10-28 02:20:38 PM

dbrikhs: gorgor: New for Christmas, Octo-Barbie takes it in the Pooper.
http://tinyurl.com/yk3nsg9
(copy and paste)

Ok, should I even ask why she has tentacles?

You could, but that would be silly :)

Phone_Answering_Monkey		2009-10-28 02:21:54 PM

KatjaMouse: Sugar Daddy wasn't the appropriate name that came to mind. Unless he comes w/ a Twink as well.

Silly KatjaMouse, why would a Ken doll come with an MMORPG character at the upper end of their PvP level bracket with maxed out gear purchased by their higher level main character with money to burn?

/Seriously you MMO guys, there were twinks before there were MMORPGS and it makes people who knew that giggle a little at the ways you use the word sometimes.
//LF a 2v2 partner for my 39 hunter twink
///Stuff like that. You want a partner for your twink, huh?

Third In Line		2009-10-28 02:29:40 PM

gorgor: dbrikhs: gorgor: New for Christmas, Octo-Barbie takes it in the Pooper.
http://tinyurl.com/yk3nsg9
(copy and paste)

Ok, should I even ask why she has tentacles?

You could, but that would be silly :)

If you have to ask, you can't afford her?

Isildur		2009-10-28 02:41:32 PM

KingPsyz: The_Maxxx: so obviously a hoax but don't let that stop the fun.

Sorry, it's real Link (new window)

Yes, because some obscure non-Mattel site is obviously proof.

zombietheclown		2009-10-28 02:42:36 PM

Phone_Answering_Monkey: KatjaMouse: Sugar Daddy wasn't the appropriate name that came to mind. Unless he comes w/ a Twink as well.

Silly KatjaMouse, why would a Ken doll come with an MMORPG character at the upper end of their PvP level bracket with maxed out gear purchased by their higher level main character with money to burn?

/Seriously you MMO guys, there were twinks before there were MMORPGS and it makes people who knew that giggle a little at the ways you use the word sometimes.
//LF a 2v2 partner for my 39 hunter twink
///Stuff like that. You want a partner for your twink, huh?

when the wife & i started playing WoW last year, she asked me what the hell they were talking about (only "twink" reference we knew had to do with one of our fabulous friends)

i still crack up a bit when i see people looking for "twink guilds"

Xlr8urfark		2009-10-28 02:43:12 PM

/first thing that came to mind
//nice post, I lol'd

Darth Macho		2009-10-28 02:43:15 PM

Has anyone else noticed the doll has a big Martian forehead?

Firefly4F4		2009-10-28 02:47:20 PM

Harry Freakstorm:

That alone made it worth entering this thread. Bravo!

That's up there with some of Pocket Ninja's stuff.

clusterfrak		2009-10-28 02:52:50 PM

stickmangrit		2009-10-28 02:54:00 PM

hitlersbrain: I'm guessing a huge portion of Barbies market for collectibles are gay men.

what's the John Hurt DVD back there, and why do you own the inferior edition of Fight Club?

thefatbasturd		2009-10-28 02:55:03 PM

The question is how much more gay can this be, and the answer is none. None... more gay

TanClan32773		2009-10-28 02:59:08 PM

He reminds me of Judge Smails (Ted Knight) from Caddyshack"

You know, Danny, I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. Thought I owed it to them.

Third In Line		2009-10-28 03:02:53 PM

Hmmm. I'm remembering blowing up ittle green army men with my brother. Now, I might buy this Ken for something like that...

zombietheclown		2009-10-28 03:10:10 PM

Third In Line: Hmmm. I'm remembering blowing up ittle green army men with my brother. Now, I might buy this Ken for something like that...

after recent legislation that was passed, that would now constitute a hate crime. . .

KingPsyz		2009-10-28 03:10:33 PM

Isildur: KingPsyz: The_Maxxx: so obviously a hoax but don't let that stop the fun.

Sorry, it's real Link (new window)

Yes, because some obscure non-Mattel site is obviously proof.

Entertainment Earth /= obscure.

It's pretty much the hub of the online collectible market since the manufactuers send them exclusive product or first rights at pre-order.

gorgor		2009-10-28 03:10:55 PM

Third In Line: gorgor: dbrikhs: gorgor: New for Christmas, Octo-Barbie takes it in the Pooper.
http://tinyurl.com/yk3nsg9
(copy and paste)

Ok, should I even ask why she has tentacles?

You could, but that would be silly :)

If you have to ask, you can't afford her?

Who could?
Octo-Barbie will leech your wallet and your sanity into nothingness.

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