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(Newsweek)   New census conspiracy: it's a plot to further the homosexual agenda   (newsweek.com) divider line 78
    More: Interesting, homosexual agenda, same-sex couples, conspiracy, census, marriage licenses, rights issues, gay rights, U.S. Census Field Division  
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2627 clicks; posted to Politics » on 28 Oct 2009 at 1:39 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-10-28 12:07:39 PM  
What isn't a plot to further the homosexual agenda?
 
2009-10-28 12:29:32 PM  
That goddamned f**ot Thomas Jefferson's to blame for this
 
2009-10-28 12:35:07 PM  
Welcome to the list, US Census Bureau.

List of People Conspiring Against the GOP, and therefor, America
(LOPCATGOPATA for short):
Liberals
Democrats
Socialists
Geologists
Biologists
Meteorologists
Atheists
Muslims
Jews
ABC
NBC
CNN
CBS
PBS
All of cable except FNC
The New York Times
The LA Times
The Washington Post
The Associated Press
Reuters
BBC
The Guardian
Black People
Mexicans
Human Rights Activists
SCOTUS
Europe
Movie Industry
Television Industry
Environmentalists
ACLU
The United Nations
Labor Unions
Colleges
Teachers
Professors
ACORN
National Endowment for the Arts
Gays
Judges
NPR
Paleontologists
Astrophysicists
Museums (*except Creationism Museum)
WHO
WTO
Inflated tires
The Honolulu Advertiser
The Star Bulletin
Teletubbies
Sponge Bob and Patrick
Nobel Prize Committee
US Census Bureau

More groups will be added as they and their nefarious schemes are exposed.
 
2009-10-28 12:45:47 PM  
oh noes! If you no how many of us there are, you'll be forced to acknowledge us!

booga booga booga
 
2009-10-28 12:47:28 PM  
toppun.com

So the census will help us buy milk?
 
2009-10-28 12:50:22 PM  
I Said: Welcome to the list, US Census Bureau.

List of People Conspiring Against the GOP, and therefor, America
(LOPCATGOPATA for short):
Liberals
Democrats
Socialists
Geologists
Biologists
Meteorologists
Atheists
Muslims
Jews
ABC
NBC
CNN
CBS
PBS
All of cable except FNC
The New York Times
The LA Times
The Washington Post
The Associated Press
Reuters
BBC
The Guardian
Black People
Mexicans
Human Rights Activists
SCOTUS
Europe
Movie Industry
Television Industry
Environmentalists
ACLU
The United Nations
Labor Unions
Colleges
Teachers
Professors
ACORN
National Endowment for the Arts
Gays
Judges
NPR
Paleontologists
Astrophysicists
Museums (*except Creationism Museum)
WHO
WTO
Inflated tires
The Honolulu Advertiser
The Star Bulletin
Teletubbies
Sponge Bob and Patrick
Nobel Prize Committee
US Census Bureau

More groups will be added as they and their nefarious schemes are exposed.


You forgot "Mother Nature" and "God"
 
2009-10-28 12:53:27 PM  
Do you know what the queers are doing to our
soil?
Now, Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large US city,
there's a big underground homosexual population. Des Moines, Iowa,
for an example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart.
You can't build on it; you can't grow anything in it. The government
says it's due to poor farming. But I know what's really going on,
Stuart. I know it's the queers. They're in it with the aliens.
They're building landing strips for gay Martians, I swear to
God.
 
2009-10-28 01:02:34 PM  
I Said: More groups will be added as they and their nefarious schemes are exposed.

I'm sure that list is far too short. For instance, NOAA isn't on there and they keep reporting on the planet getting warmer every year.
 
2009-10-28 01:13:42 PM  
"There are early indications from states that have allowed such unions that their numbers are not growing," says Wendy Wright. "The census count may end up being a bit of an embarrassment for gay activists."

Hmm... you sound concerned

/she's their prez
 
2009-10-28 01:14:55 PM  
timujin: "There are early indications from states that have allowed such unions that their numbers are not growing," says Wendy Wright. "The census count may end up being a bit of an embarrassment for gay activists."

Hmm... you sound concerned

/she's their prez


I wasn't aware that gay people were trying to increase their numbers.
 
2009-10-28 01:17:08 PM  
Kome: I Said: Welcome to the list, US Census Bureau.

List of People Conspiring Against the GOP, and therefor, America
(LOPCATGOPATA for short):
Liberals
Democrats
Socialists
Geologists
Biologists
Meteorologists
Atheists
Muslims
Jews
ABC
NBC
CNN
CBS
PBS
All of cable except FNC
The New York Times
The LA Times
The Washington Post
The Associated Press
Reuters
BBC
The Guardian
Black People
Mexicans
Human Rights Activists
SCOTUS
Europe
Movie Industry
Television Industry
Environmentalists
ACLU
The United Nations
Labor Unions
Colleges
Teachers
Professors
ACORN
National Endowment for the Arts
Gays
Judges
NPR
Paleontologists
Astrophysicists
Museums (*except Creationism Museum)
WHO
WTO
Inflated tires
The Honolulu Advertiser
The Star Bulletin
Teletubbies
Sponge Bob and Patrick
Nobel Prize Committee
US Census Bureau

More groups will be added as they and their nefarious schemes are exposed.

You forgot "Mother Nature" and "God"


Also Reality, and Facts.

Reality has a well known liberal bias.
 
2009-10-28 01:19:30 PM  
That upsets some conservatives,...

Shocking.

... who argue that by releasing the data, the bureau is violating the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). "Federal law states that marriage is between a man and woman," says Wendy Wright, president of Concerned Women of America. "This is a denial of federal law."

This quote should be printed on giant, 200 pound wooden placards. Then, picture this:

Some asshole Republican who sides with these idiots is on the floor of Congress whining about 'the Dems' and 'the Libs' being in favor of 'Big Government'. Suddenly, all the lights go off. A spotlight hits the good Senator from South Carolina. A disco ball ball lowers. The thumping bass of a Lady Gaga track slowly rises, until you can feel the beat in your chest. "Let's play a love game... play a love game..."

Another spotlight targets the far end of the chamber. Ten homosexuals in assless leather chaps, puffy shirts, and loads of body glitter stand with their backs to the audience, holding the giant wooden placard with the aforementioned quote. They rhythmically dance their way over to the podium where the good Senator is standing, mouth agape in disbelief at the audacity of these queers. He clenches his pointing fist so hard it's beginning to shake... his mouth begins to move, in the first signs that he's about to speak into the microphone... but it's too late. Just as he inhales deeply to get his rant off to a good start, the sparkle patrol brings the placard down over his old, bigoted head, crushing him with the 200 pounds of hypocrisy that has become the calling card of the Republican Party.

The crowd offers a smattering of applause as the sparkle patrol skips from the chamber to reset their act for the next asshole.
 
2009-10-28 01:22:46 PM  
Benni K Rok: You forgot "Mother Nature" and "God"

Also Reality, and Facts.

Reality has a well known liberal bias.


My issue with adding these is that, while I agree, no public conservative figure or tv/radio host or political group has come out to say "Facts are bad" outright. If I added "facts, logic" I could probably take have he list off to replace it with those terms.
 
2009-10-28 01:24:24 PM  
I Said: Welcome to the list, US Census Bureau.

List of People Conspiring Against the GOP, and therefor, America
(LOPCATGOPATA for short):

More groups will be added as they and their nefarious schemes are exposed.


Isn't the Conservative party conspiring against GOP? Or, actually, I think it's the opposite. Maybe it's time to change the name of your list form LOPCATGOPATA to LOPCATCATA

With the side benefit of spelling out CAT twice, which happen to be against the conservatives too, because any good conservative know that only tofu eating liberal fascist communist muslins have cats instead of dogs.
 
2009-10-28 01:35:16 PM  
I Said: Welcome to the list, US Census Bureau.

List of People Conspiring Against the GOP, and therefor, America
(LOPCATGOPATA for short):


That list was the first thing I thought of when I read the headline, although I thought the Census Bureau was already on the list.
 
2009-10-28 01:37:33 PM  
Microsoft_Bob: With the side benefit of spelling out CAT twice, which happen to be against the conservatives too, because any good conservative know that only tofu eating liberal fascist communist muslins have cats instead of dogs.

Actually, yesterday we learned from Bill Donahue that walking your dog is a liberal thing, and is one of the keys to why liberals don't have as many children.
 
2009-10-28 01:41:00 PM  
GAT_00: I Said: More groups will be added as they and their nefarious schemes are exposed.

I'm sure that list is far too short. For instance, NOAA isn't on there and they keep reporting on the planet getting warmer every year.


I should throw them on. I'll do that.

impaler: I thought the Census Bureau was already on the list.

I was honestly surprised I didn't have it already, what with Bachman raving like a loon about it.
 
2009-10-28 01:41:01 PM  
Beck just ordered a case of Vaporub...this is gonna be huge
 
2009-10-28 01:43:12 PM  
skammie: Stuart. I know it's the queers. They're in it with the aliens.
They're building landing strips for gay Martians, I swear to
God.


Thank you.
 
2009-10-28 01:44:29 PM  
SHHHHHHHH!!!! Goddamit, subby, I told you that in the strictest of confidence!

:-/
 
2009-10-28 01:46:00 PM  
I Said: Welcome to the list, US Census Bureau.

List of People Conspiring Against the GOP, and therefor, America
(LOPCATGOPATA for short):
Liberals
Democrats
Socialists
Geologists
Biologists
Meteorologists
Atheists
Muslims
Jews
ABC
NBC
CNN
CBS
PBS
All of cable except FNC
The New York Times
The LA Times
The Washington Post
The Associated Press
Reuters
BBC
The Guardian
Black People
Mexicans
Human Rights Activists
SCOTUS
Europe
Movie Industry
Television Industry
Environmentalists
ACLU
The United Nations
Labor Unions
Colleges
Teachers
Professors
ACORN
National Endowment for the Arts
Gays
Judges
NPR
Paleontologists
Astrophysicists
Museums (*except Creationism Museum)
WHO
WTO
Inflated tires
The Honolulu Advertiser
The Star Bulletin
Teletubbies
Sponge Bob and Patrick
Nobel Prize Committee
US Census Bureau

More groups will be added as they and their nefarious schemes are exposed.


You forgot the main group conspiring against the GOP, the GOP itself.
 
2009-10-28 01:48:47 PM  
Action Replay Nick: That upsets some conservatives,...

Shocking.

... who argue that by releasing the data, the bureau is violating the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). "Federal law states that marriage is between a man and woman," says Wendy Wright, president of Concerned Women of America. "This is a denial of federal law."

This quote should be printed on giant, 200 pound wooden placards. Then, picture this:

Some asshole Republican who sides with these idiots is on the floor of Congress whining about 'the Dems' and 'the Libs' being in favor of 'Big Government'. Suddenly, all the lights go off. A spotlight hits the good Senator from South Carolina. A disco ball ball lowers. The thumping bass of a Lady Gaga track slowly rises, until you can feel the beat in your chest. "Let's play a love game... play a love game..."

Another spotlight targets the far end of the chamber. Ten homosexuals in assless leather chaps, puffy shirts, and loads of body glitter stand with their backs to the audience, holding the giant wooden placard with the aforementioned quote. They rhythmically dance their way over to the podium where the good Senator is standing, mouth agape in disbelief at the audacity of these queers. He clenches his pointing fist so hard it's beginning to shake... his mouth begins to move, in the first signs that he's about to speak into the microphone... but it's too late. Just as he inhales deeply to get his rant off to a good start, the sparkle patrol brings the placard down over his old, bigoted head, crushing him with the 200 pounds of hypocrisy that has become the calling card of the Republican Party.

The crowd offers a smattering of applause as the sparkle patrol skips from the chamber to reset their act for the next asshole.


i19.photobucket.com

Also, I think Concerned Women of America should change their name to "Concerned American Women." Then they can be known as "CAW!" CAW! CAW! CAW!!!
 
2009-10-28 01:49:48 PM  
Action Replay Nick:

I find your ideas intriguing and wish to subscribe to your very fabulous newsletter.
 
2009-10-28 01:51:09 PM  
Concerned Troll Women of America

FTFT
 
2009-10-28 01:53:35 PM  
Action Replay Nick: sparkle patrol

I want to gay marry you.
 
2009-10-28 01:55:04 PM  
Action Replay Nick: That upsets some conservatives,...

Shocking.

... who argue that by releasing the data, the bureau is violating the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). "Federal law states that marriage is between a man and woman," says Wendy Wright, president of Concerned Women of America. "This is a denial of federal law."

This quote should be printed on giant, 200 pound wooden placards. Then, picture this:

Some asshole Republican who sides with these idiots is on the floor of Congress whining about 'the Dems' and 'the Libs' being in favor of 'Big Government'. Suddenly, all the lights go off. A spotlight hits the good Senator from South Carolina. A disco ball ball lowers. The thumping bass of a Lady Gaga track slowly rises, until you can feel the beat in your chest. "Let's play a love game... play a love game..."

Another spotlight targets the far end of the chamber. Ten homosexuals in assless leather chaps, puffy shirts, and loads of body glitter stand with their backs to the audience, holding the giant wooden placard with the aforementioned quote. They rhythmically dance their way over to the podium where the good Senator is standing, mouth agape in disbelief at the audacity of these queers. He clenches his pointing fist so hard it's beginning to shake... his mouth begins to move, in the first signs that he's about to speak into the microphone... but it's too late. Just as he inhales deeply to get his rant off to a good start, the sparkle patrol brings the placard down over his old, bigoted head, crushing him with the 200 pounds of hypocrisy that has become the calling card of the Republican Party.

The crowd offers a smattering of applause as the sparkle patrol skips from the chamber to reset their act for the next asshole.


Why can't real life be 1/10th this awesome?
 
2009-10-28 01:57:00 PM  
Magorn: Why can't real life be 1/10th this awesome?

Because it's probably illegal? *shrug* And/or, nobody has the balls to pull a stunt like that?
 
2009-10-28 01:57:30 PM  
Jackson Herring: Action Replay Nick: sparkle patrol

I want to gay marry you.


I'm beginning to really question your commitment to Sparkle Patrol, I really am..
 
2009-10-28 02:03:23 PM  
xanadian: Because it's probably illegal? *shrug* And/or, nobody has the balls to pull a stunt like that?

Get. Bruno. Now.
 
2009-10-28 02:04:41 PM  
HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA

8am: yoga and spin class

10am: coffee mimosas and scones

11am: pick up Miata from the mechanic.

1pm: spa / salon

3pm: shopping!

5:30pm: suck off a trucker at the rest stop.

6pm: tapas and wine

8pm: Meet with President Obama, George Soros, and Speaker Pelosi about DADT and DOMA.

10pm: do some of Tina and huff poppers while being fisted in an alley behind the Eagle.

3am: Bedtime.
 
2009-10-28 02:07:17 PM  
vernonFL: 3am: Bedtime

Gays never sleep. They wait...
 
2009-10-28 02:09:08 PM  
Not surprisingly, the conservatives are against anything that involves facts and figures.
 
2009-10-28 02:13:46 PM  
I Said: More groups will be added as they and their nefarious schemes are exposed.

You forgot FARKers.
 
2009-10-28 02:20:22 PM  
I Said: Welcome to the list, US Census Bureau.

List of People Conspiring Against the GOP, and therefor, America
(LOPCATGOPATA for short):
Liberals
Democrats
Socialists
Geologists
Biologists
Meteorologists
Atheists
Muslims
Jews
ABC
NBC
CNN
CBS
PBS
All of cable except FNC
The New York Times
The LA Times
The Washington Post
The Associated Press
Reuters
BBC
The Guardian
Black People
Mexicans
Human Rights Activists
SCOTUS
Europe
Movie Industry
Television Industry
Environmentalists
ACLU
The United Nations
Labor Unions
Colleges
Teachers
Professors
ACORN
National Endowment for the Arts
Gays
Judges
NPR
Paleontologists
Astrophysicists
Museums (*except Creationism Museum)
WHO
WTO
Inflated tires
The Honolulu Advertiser
The Star Bulletin
Teletubbies
Sponge Bob and Patrick
Nobel Prize Committee
US Census Bureau

More groups will be added as they and their nefarious schemes are exposed.


Volcanoes suspiciously absent.
 
2009-10-28 02:21:24 PM  
Jesus Farkin Christ, people are gay, big deal, get over your obsession with other people's sexual practices.
 
2009-10-28 02:21:36 PM  
Well, more appropriately, Vulcanologists.
 
2009-10-28 02:25:00 PM  
FTA -

For the first time in the centuries-long history of the census, the number of same-sex couples who self-identify as married-license or no license-will be tabulated and released to the public.

Well that makes sense. Can we turn this thread into a running joke of other ideas to "self-identify" things that don't exist?

/Imperial Overload of K-Pax Sector 5 here
 
2009-10-28 02:25:25 PM  
I Said: My issue with adding these is that, while I agree, no public conservative figure or tv/radio host or political group has come out to say "Facts are bad" outright. If I added "facts, logic" I could probably take have he list off to replace it with those terms.

Submitted for your amusement, Rush Limbaugh stating that he does not care that Obama quotes he used on his show were false. Link (new window)
 
2009-10-28 02:27:17 PM  
Action Replay Nick: Suddenly, all the lights go off. A spotlight hits the good Senator from South Carolina. A disco ball ball lowers. The thumping bass of a Lady Gaga track slowly rises, until you can feel the beat in your chest. "Let's play a love game... play a love game..."

I don't know if you're familiar with my good Senator Lindsey Graham, aka Butters, but I'm not so sure he would be uncomfortable with your scenario. Just saying...
 
2009-10-28 02:28:43 PM  
thurstonxhowell: I Said: My issue with adding these is that, while I agree, no public conservative figure or tv/radio host or political group has come out to say "Facts are bad" outright. If I added "facts, logic" I could probably take have he list off to replace it with those terms.

Submitted for your amusement, Rush Limbaugh stating that he does not care that Obama quotes he used on his show were false. Link (new window)


HA. Nice.
 
2009-10-28 02:31:54 PM  
Pincy: Jesus Farkin Christ, people are gay, big deal, get over your obsession with other people's sexual practices.

Gayness has become the most important issue in the world for many non-gays. Forget poverty, violence, corruption, deceit, substance abuse...those aren't important to these people. They don't want morality, they just want a target.
 
2009-10-28 02:36:28 PM  
The only people weho are against the census (the CENSUS, for chrissakes) are paranoid nutbags who are afraid of the truth.
 
2009-10-28 02:38:35 PM  
Action Replay Nick: Ten homosexuals in assless leather chaps, puffy shirts, and loads of body glitter

I don't really see a lot of gay guys dressed like that.
 
2009-10-28 02:41:27 PM  
thurstonxhowell:
Submitted for your amusement, Rush Limbaugh stating that he does not care that Obama quotes he used on his show were false. Link (new window)


Glenn Beck wants to be proved wrong, too!
(new window)
 
2009-10-28 02:44:35 PM  
www.threepanelsoul.com

/hot like radioactive lube
 
2009-10-28 02:47:27 PM  
wh0mprat: Action Replay Nick: Ten homosexuals in assless leather chaps, puffy shirts, and loads of body glitter

I don't really see a lot of gay guys dressed like that.


And yet many conservatives like to imagine gay men dressed like that...
 
2009-10-28 02:47:33 PM  
DamnYankees: timujin: "There are early indications from states that have allowed such unions that their numbers are not growing," says Wendy Wright. "The census count may end up being a bit of an embarrassment for gay activists."

Hmm... you sound concerned

/she's their prez

I wasn't aware that gay people were trying to increase their numbers.


We keep trying to increase our numbers, but it just isn't working.
Guess I'll have to try even harder.

/Harder, harder.
//And a little to the left.
 
2009-10-28 02:49:57 PM  
FTFA: Even if the data will not be a full count of all gays in America, the census is expected to shed light on underreported issues like gay poverty, especially given the common perception that gay couples are predominantly white and wealthy.

i75.photobucket.com

Is this actually a stereotype? I thought it was a given that homosexuals live in the lower-class neighborhoods and made less money due to being "unwanted." Gay men tend to be cleaner, so their neighborhoods aren't completely trashy, but still.

And yeah, they're predominantly white, because the population is still predominantly white and because latino and africans are even less likely than caucasians to be "out".
 
2009-10-28 02:53:13 PM  
All this talk about a census conspiracy is making my asshole twitch.
 
2009-10-28 02:56:39 PM  
CrankMyBlueSax: All this talk about a census conspiracy is making my asshole twitch.

It also makes this asshole twitch:

lornakismet.files.wordpress.com
 
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