FARK.com: (472806) Licensed preacher told, "If I wear these [panties] any longer, I'm gonna start sinnin'."

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		Licensed preacher told, "If I wear these [panties] any longer, I'm gonna start sinnin'." (ncbuy.com)		140
		More: Obvious

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13441 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Mar 2003 at 10:29 AM | Favorite | share:

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spiritauthor		2003-03-19 11:00:35 AM

CorpMF:
www.beerchurch.com for one.

CandyPink		2003-03-19 11:03:01 AM

That's why Dr. Moore-Steele only tested the panties on married ladies

So, uh, anyone know how to forge a marriage license?

I would think that single women would be the big-money market for these anyway. zMost married chicks already have sexual stimulation readily available whenever they want it.

steelwelder		2003-03-19 11:03:07 AM

Actually, Cheeken, the Universal Life Church will ordain you as a minister. That in and of itself does not give you the right to marry people. One has to go to the local govenrment and get a license to marry people. I am an ordained minister through the ULC, I have not gone and gotten registered and licensed with my state govt. yet.

MandM		2003-03-19 11:03:50 AM

They are not available for purchase now, THEN WHEN?

Dogfood: What do you care if "fat chicks" wear them?

GaidinCanuck: Well, we have them for women right now so we don't need you! Of course if we made them for men and you didn't need women the world would cease to exist but you getting off is more important.

hankins		2003-03-19 11:03:58 AM

those aren't really them. i was trying to GIS for big underwear.

bass555		2003-03-19 11:03:58 AM

When I looked quickly at the top two threads, I thought this was going to be something about "rotten panties"...
"Do you want a beer?"
"It's 8:30 in the morning!"
"Scotch?"

cola		2003-03-19 11:07:38 AM

People are too lazy to even stimulate themselves by their own hands nowadays?

NICU8697		2003-03-19 11:07:47 AM

CandyPink

Will you marry me? I just did my taxes and could really use another deduction.

/viva sham marriages

MandM		2003-03-19 11:08:38 AM

Bump & Cheeken: I hope you guys are kidding, because you must be doin something wrong.

abramelin0wnz		2003-03-19 11:10:49 AM

Chicks can get away with that. Guys would need some sort of reservoir and semen-dissipation system.

Timberbeast		2003-03-19 11:10:54 AM

I, too, am an ordained minister with the ULC. I went to the Beer Church and got ordained as a "Minister of Divine Fermintation". The beerchurch.com ordains throught eh ULC.

MandM		2003-03-19 11:12:54 AM

AbramelinOwnz: Very good point

bass555		2003-03-19 11:15:08 AM

I am also a ULC minister (as is the rest of my band)

the_temp		2003-03-19 11:15:52 AM

Can't you get preacher licenses from the inside of matchbooks? Also you can get them from the 21st century version of the inside of a matchbook: the interweb.

Ouizel		2003-03-19 11:16:22 AM

Cheeken
That's the Universal Life Church, it's free, and allow me to introduce myself.

I'm Rev. Ouizel

(No, Really!)

Diogenes		2003-03-19 11:18:02 AM

The deluxe design is called, "The Homewrecker".

dunno		2003-03-19 11:18:45 AM

Moanin' Services Start at 8:00 a.m.

Ogantai		2003-03-19 11:20:58 AM

NICU8697: Go get yourself ordained, and save yourself 8% of your gross income. Ministers can exempt themselves from social security tax.

3horn		2003-03-19 11:24:00 AM

Feh! They already have these....

3Horn

ChinaGrove		2003-03-19 11:24:39 AM

Damn. This could put the Ben-Wa Egg
out of business.

Wait...maybe women could wear the panties
and use the Ben-Wa Egg at the same time.

Ah ha! I'm starting to think like "The Continental"

3horn		2003-03-19 11:25:23 AM

Oh, that link is NSFW!

Reverend 3Horn (who's actually done one wedding)

Backgroundnoise		2003-03-19 11:25:39 AM

no shiat?

so how big of a congregation do you need to get that?

Backgroundnoise		2003-03-19 11:27:47 AM

Oh and Ogantai, it is really sad how Pitt people are so obsessed with Penn State

we don't give a damn about Pitt at all, as long as UPMC is doing fine the rest of that uni can go to hell for all i care

Payton		2003-03-19 11:29:06 AM

Nice post AJace.

tarvuz		2003-03-19 11:33:05 AM

next thing they will invent is a fake peener for womin folk to pleasure themselves with..

Valkhorn		2003-03-19 11:33:23 AM

Strange, thats in my Hometown...

JennyBean		2003-03-19 11:35:49 AM

im-a git me some o'dem

bass555		2003-03-19 11:35:57 AM

03-19-03 11:31:40 AM BongWater
Quiet day for us Farkers.

The 'calm before the storm' I suppose.

skinink		2003-03-19 11:37:27 AM

A divorced Black woman in her 40s takes some time off work and travels to Jamaica with a set of stimulating panties while her son spends time with his father. Angela Bassett stars in the exciting followup, "How Stella Got her Groove Raw"

MandM		2003-03-19 11:38:09 AM

JennyBean: I like the way you tawk. mmmhun.

TheGrayCat		2003-03-19 11:38:21 AM

Where's the COOL tag?

These could make my daily jog VERY interesting.

Cardinal		2003-03-19 11:38:40 AM

Rev 3Horn: I think you may be on to something...

From the site ref'd above:

Stock Availability For
BREIFS DANCING PENIS VIB .
S BLACK OUT!
M BLACK OUT!
L BLACK OUT!
S RED OUT!
M RED OUT!
L RED OUT!
XL RED OUT!
XL BLACK OUT!

The King of Toast		2003-03-19 11:42:23 AM

I detect a lot of bitterness emanating from MandM. Methinks she probably erroneously thinks she is a "fat chick".
Abramelin0wnz, moot point......there is well-documented video evidence that states that certain females would be in need of a fluid containment and dissipation system. My guess is that the things have been designed with extra absorbency to allow for members of the female population with this fabulous squirting talent.

boutitboutit		2003-03-19 11:42:31 AM

hell, if women start wearing these to jog I might take up jogging again. Ain't nothin' wrong with being in the right place at the right time.

luckycarbon		2003-03-19 11:44:16 AM

Bump
LOL, that's funny but it'd be funnier if I wasn't engaged for the last year and to be married in a few months. :(

doublem		2003-03-19 11:45:23 AM

OK, so I'm now Ordained through ulc.org, what now? What can I do that I couldn't do before? What does this get me?

Huh?

Can someone tell me?

The King of Toast		2003-03-19 11:46:03 AM

That's hilarious Skinink.

NICU8697		2003-03-19 11:47:35 AM

Luckycarbon...you should find a hobby. You'll need something to take the place of all the sex you're having now.

steelwelder		2003-03-19 11:48:33 AM

Doublem:
There are certain tax exemptions that you can use. You will have to check your local govt. but most don't require much to approve you to perform weddings.

MandM		2003-03-19 11:50:30 AM

Kingoftoast: This is not directed towards me or other women. It is directed at men who are less than attractive(trying to be diplomatic) but will only date women who look like supermodels. (which explains why they are lonely and need thir own version of the panties)

LongElf		2003-03-19 11:50:55 AM

NICU8697

Luckycarbon'll have plenty to keep him occupied having to listen to the constant nagging and going 'window' shopping.

/ducks and covers expertly

TheSloth		2003-03-19 11:51:07 AM

Yeah. Sure. Right. Whatever.

NICU8697		2003-03-19 11:53:06 AM

They call you TheSloth...do you sleep all day and spend your nights in bars? :-)

Backgroundnoise		2003-03-19 11:55:02 AM

what about us guys that know we are...unappealing...to the opposite sex and therefore don't try. we can't get a version of this to help us out?

FireBall		2003-03-19 11:55:46 AM

And for men, the "less is better" attitude still remains:

Cut holes in your pockets.

dewars-rocks		2003-03-19 11:56:25 AM

wouldn't these panties need their own absorbant pads?

Backgroundnoise		2003-03-19 11:57:16 AM

hey lookit me i finally had an on-topic post

Kylie		2003-03-19 11:57:48 AM

Zzzzzzzzzz ova here.

alto_reed_on_a_tenor_sax		2003-03-19 11:58:05 AM

Luckycarbon You too? I feel ya, brother. Maybe you and I should start a weekly poker night. Or a weekly six poker nights. We'll play cards and look at porn and talk about how funny Bump's posts always are, and what a facetious scamp that darned Bump is, goshdarnit!!, and pretend that they aren't completely serious and completely true. Then we can go home to our wives.

We could even skip that last part if you wanted.

/kidding (mostly)