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(The Morning Call)   Third... third heist in... third heist in eight daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays   (mcall.com) divider line 64
    More: Scary, Lehigh Valley Data Center, subway, conflicts in Iraq, PSSA, traffic cameras, drive time, police reports, Lehigh Valley  
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10727 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Oct 2009 at 9:38 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-10-21 08:29:56 AM
FTA: Anyone with information about the robberies or burglary or who recognizes the man in the surveillance photos is asked to contact the Allentown Police Department at 610-437-7721 or 610-437-7751.

Wouldn't it help to actually include the surveillance photos?
 
2009-10-21 08:42:01 AM
He's just trying to lose weight by walking from subway to subway.

/I see a surveillance photo in the article.
 
2009-10-21 08:45:28 AM
labman: He's just trying to lose weight by walking from subway to subway.

/I see a surveillance photo in the article.


Doesn't show up here. Might be a rouge adblock entry.
 
2009-10-21 08:53:07 AM
The were wearing black pants, black jackets, black masks

Sounds like they should have been robbing a Taco Bell.
 
2009-10-21 08:54:00 AM
Headline looks awkward, but the meter's on target...
 
2009-10-21 09:06:29 AM
meh. Kinda stretching it subby.
 
2009-10-21 09:40:21 AM
c-c-c-catchin on...
 
2009-10-21 09:40:38 AM
6" veggie delights only go so far.
 
2009-10-21 09:43:12 AM
Hollywood Cole: meh. Kinda stretching it subby.

totally agreed. I'll be let down by fark if others find this funny.
 
2009-10-21 09:45:14 AM
One of the robbers displayed a black object that may have been a weapon

"'Scuse me while I whip this out."
 
2009-10-21 09:45:49 AM
Guy in a red hoodie and a baseball cap who may or may not have a mustache? I know him!
 
2009-10-21 09:45:55 AM
Subby, I hope you have to actually eat a damn five dollar foot long sammich just for getting that tune stuck in my head. Seriously, I hope you have to eat one. Then we will see how funny it is then! damn you!
 
2009-10-21 09:46:53 AM
I haven't seen the ad the headline is referring to. I guess if you've seen the ad maybe the headline is funny?
 
2009-10-21 09:49:41 AM
Somebody say Third?
 
2009-10-21 09:51:25 AM
southparkk420: Guy in a red hoodie and a baseball cap who may or may not have a mustache? I know him!

You know Sergio?
 
2009-10-21 09:51:44 AM
Aww, I was trying to make headline into Rammstein in my head... not quite there, but still better than the dammed ad
 
2009-10-21 09:52:06 AM
jehovahs witness protection: labman: He's just trying to lose weight by walking from subway to subway.

/I see a surveillance photo in the article.

Doesn't show up here. Might be a rouge adblock entry.


No, probably a mascara adblock entry.
 
2009-10-21 09:53:51 AM
i40.photobucket.com
MOCK
 
2009-10-21 09:54:45 AM
I read this headline to the tune of "Don't stand so close to me."
 
2009-10-21 09:55:46 AM
tbyte: I haven't seen the ad the headline is referring to. I guess if you've seen the ad maybe the headline is funny?

no, it's still not funny
 
2009-10-21 09:57:18 AM
When I hear "heist" I think of professional criminals executing well-planned schemes involving multiple people and expert timing. There are bagmen, get away drivers, decoys, lookouts, etc.

This is just some guy robbing a Subway.
 
2009-10-21 09:58:15 AM
Why is a Subway open at 8 am? Do they have a breakfast sandwich? The ones here open at 10:30.
 
2009-10-21 09:58:27 AM
Well we're living here in Allentown
And they're closing Subways down
Out in Bethlehem they're killing time
Filling foot-longs
Standing in line.
 
2009-10-21 09:59:44 AM
Sorry. My bad on the time.
 
2009-10-21 10:00:56 AM
i40.photobucket.com


YYEAH
 
2009-10-21 10:02:28 AM
angry_scientist: Aww, I was trying to make headline into Rammstein in my head... not quite there, but still better than the dammed ad

That was my first reaction, too.
 
2009-10-21 10:02:37 AM
OK, I give up - what's the headline referring to?

I guessed a song, probably Billy Joel (story takes place in Allentown), but ...???
 
2009-10-21 10:02:41 AM
Holy crap Harry are you this wasted this early? There was a robbery at 8 am and at 8 pm.

Actually Harry's nine bosses are all in the conference room. They've drawn a pentagram on the floor and are taking turns sticking pins in a little doll that looks like Harry. I guess this means no raise this year either.
 
2009-10-21 10:03:56 AM
Harry Freakstorm: Why is a Subway open at 8 am? Do they have a breakfast sandwich? The ones here open at 10:30.

They have a whole breakfast menu around here
 
2009-10-21 10:03:56 AM
I love thSneakyBackdoorNutSucker: OK, I give up - what's the headline referring to?

I guessed a song, probably Billy Joel (story takes place in Allentown), but ...???


It's a remake of the "Five Dollar Foot Long" song!

Love it!
 
2009-10-21 10:04:24 AM
Allentown police said a Subway sandwich shop was robbed Monday morning, the third heist in eight days at Subways in the city.

How many Subways can Allentown possibly have?
 
2009-10-21 10:05:01 AM
wee beastie: Hollywood Cole: meh. Kinda stretching it subby.

totally agreed. I'll be let down by fark if others find this funny.


Not funny in a normal sense, but in the same way that a bad pun makes you grimace...
 
2009-10-21 10:05:39 AM
Doctor Funkenstein:
How many Subways can Allentown possibly have?


threeeeeeeeeee or Fffoooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrr.
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
 
2009-10-21 10:06:26 AM
The headline sounds like a Flight of the Conchords song. I can't look it up right now, I think it's "Business Time".
 
2009-10-21 10:09:11 AM
jehovahs witness protection: Wouldn't it help to actually include the surveillance photos?

This is Pennsylvania
And the Media.
In PA, when there is an automobile accident, the newscaster is likely to call it a "Smashup" on the air.
Nothing says inbred, hickabilly, redneck, like rural PA.
/Lived there, escaped.
 
2009-10-21 10:12:21 AM
angry_scientist: Aww, I was trying to make headline into Rammstein in my head... not quite there, but still better than the dammed ad

A sincere thanks to you for putting Du Hast into my head. Definitely mental ear bleach following getting "Five Dollar Footlongs" stuck in my head again.
 
2009-10-21 10:15:45 AM
Rapmaster2000: When I hear "heist" I think of professional criminals executing well-planned schemes involving multiple people and expert timing. There are bagmen, get away drivers, decoys, lookouts, etc.

This is just some guy robbing a Subway.


and jewels!!!
 
2009-10-21 10:19:06 AM
they should have mentioned the amish. they make any p.a. story 100x better. even if they have nothing to do with it mention them anyway.

"the men were seen fleeing on foot near a amish buggy and its driver". 100x better.
 
2009-10-21 10:21:34 AM
angry_scientist: Aww, I was trying to make headline into Rammstein in my head... not quite there, but still better than the dammed ad

Same here!
 
2009-10-21 10:34:11 AM
angry_scientist: Aww, I was trying to make headline into Rammstein in my head... not quite there, but still better than the dammed ad

That's what I assumed it was.
 
2009-10-21 10:38:31 AM
Heh! Thanks all for not making me think I'm the only loon!

/hard to imagine on Fark
//but some days...
 
2009-10-21 10:40:12 AM
euclidespaim.files.wordpress.com

Eight days a week, I rOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOOb you...
 
2009-10-21 10:42:29 AM
toonz: southparkk420: Guy in a red hoodie and a baseball cap who may or may not have a mustache? I know him!

You know Sergio?


Naw, I'm done with that guy. Dude treated me like a rag doll.
 
2009-10-21 10:42:37 AM
I thought there was a fark filter that replaced the word third with trifecta. Somebody must have turned it off.

/has no idea wtf headline is supposed to be
//doesn't want to know either
 
2009-10-21 10:43:02 AM
suraimu: jehovahs witness protection: labman: He's just trying to lose weight by walking from subway to subway.

/I see a surveillance photo in the article.

Doesn't show up here. Might be a rouge adblock entry.

No, probably a mascara adblock entry.


Okay, this was better than what I was going to say.

/There's a bar called Rogue around the corner from my office that a guy in my office insists on calling Rouge.
 
2009-10-21 10:43:26 AM
wanted for questioning
 
2009-10-21 10:44:09 AM
littlejunkies.files.wordpress.com
 
2009-10-21 10:47:17 AM
vudukungfu: jehovahs witness protection: Wouldn't it help to actually include the surveillance photos?

This is Pennsylvania
And the Media.
In PA, when there is an automobile accident, the newscaster is likely to call it a "Smashup" on the air.
Nothing says inbred, hickabilly, redneck, like rural PA.
/Lived there, escaped.


I guess you never made it too far from the 50w Polka/News format AM station you obviously listened too while in PA.


Allentown is more like Paterson NJ then Mayberry RFD.....obviously a Blue State....or as they would say in Allentown...Estado Azul...
 
2009-10-21 10:52:56 AM
Witty Comment


imagemacros.files.wordpress.com
 
2009-10-21 11:17:40 AM
I bet its someone who has applied for jobs at every single one and been turned down. The police should look at employment apps of people who were turned down jobs recently. How much can you get for robbing a subway anyway? $300? $400? I doubt it would even cover monthly bills. Maybe if you rob three of them but you better get some sandwiches too.
 
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