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(My Fox DC)   What animal were George Washington's teeth made from? A) Baby seal. B) Bald eagle. C) Hippo? (w/ pics)   (myfoxdc.com) divider line 53
    More: Cool, George Washington, dentures, dentists, metals  
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16463 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Oct 2009 at 1:28 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-10-15 09:54:16 AM  
WOW...Just think...Over 200 years ago one of Oprah's relatives donated bone to make his teefs.
 
2009-10-15 10:16:39 AM  
Old news is so exciting!
 
2009-10-15 10:18:05 AM  
well, of course. it would've been easy with all those hippos in the potomac river

www.ggcornish.com


"GW's River Horse
Legend has it that the Potomac was once home to these wondrous beasts.
George and Martha Washington are even said to have watched them cavort in
the river shallows from the porch of their beloved Mount Vernon on summer
evenings.

Credited with enhancing the fertility of the plantation, the Washingtons
believed the hippopotamuses brought them good luck, and children on the
estate often attempted to lure the creatures close enough to the shore to
touch a nose for good luck."
 
Pud
2009-10-15 11:18:04 AM  
jehovahs witness protection: WOW...Just think...Over 200 years ago one of Oprah's relatives donated bone to make his teefs.

i601.photobucket.com
 
2009-10-15 11:40:27 AM  
They had springs. Springs!
 
2009-10-15 11:55:45 AM  
Dead for Tax Reasons: well, of course. it would've been easy with all those hippos in the potomac river

"GW's River Horse
Legend has it that the Potomac was once home to these wondrous beasts.
George and Martha Washington are even said to have watched them cavort in
the river shallows from the porch of their beloved Mount Vernon on summer
evenings.

Credited with enhancing the fertility of the plantation, the Washingtons
believed the hippopotamuses brought them good luck, and children on the
estate often attempted to lure the creatures close enough to the shore to
touch a nose for good luck."


Funny, since a hippopotamus is probably the most deadly animal (excepting disease-carrying insects) in Africa. They're very territorial and extremely powerful. Those teeth will shred a person.

Hippopotomacs?
 
2009-10-15 12:40:34 PM  
That pic in the article make anyone else think of this?

images.chron.com

/hot like Freddy Lounds in his wheelchair
 
2009-10-15 01:13:27 PM  
Eesh!

Looks like they used the wrong end of the hippo.
 
2009-10-15 01:30:08 PM  
did you get that thing I sent you?
 
2009-10-15 01:30:09 PM  
Slaves?
 
2009-10-15 01:30:38 PM  
Had wooden teeth, chased Moby Dick!
 
2009-10-15 01:32:38 PM  
chupacabra
 
2009-10-15 01:33:47 PM  
Hmm, and here i thought he had wooden teeth.
 
2009-10-15 01:34:01 PM  
I'm gonna go with... whale penis
 
2009-10-15 01:37:56 PM  
I would have thought that when he opened his mouth it would have been just more fists. Kinda like looking behind Chuck Norris' beard.

British Soldier: "You are defeated. Surrender."

GW: "Blarrrrrrgggggggggghhhhh!!!"
*SMACK, BLAM, KAPOW*
 
2009-10-15 01:41:03 PM  
SadSadTruth: Hmm, and here i thought he had wooden teeth.

You would too, wooden chew?
 
2009-10-15 01:41:38 PM  
FTA: His dentist had it encased in gold and glass and attached it to his pocket watch.

Does this mean we can extract the DNA, stick it in a developing embryo, and grow our own George Washington?
 
2009-10-15 01:43:56 PM  
goodhealthpal.com
 
2009-10-15 01:44:01 PM  
8.5 tailed fox: SadSadTruth: Hmm, and here i thought he had wooden teeth.

You would too, wooden chew?


I'm not gonna lie, i lol'd.
 
2009-10-15 01:44:31 PM  
And yet, I wonder if it has enough bald eagle

/paraphrased 'cause I don't want to look it up!
 
2009-10-15 01:44:54 PM  
Doctor Funkenstein: I would have thought that when he opened his mouth it would have been just more fists. Kinda like looking behind Chuck Norris' beard.

British Soldier: "You are defeated. Surrender."

GW: "Blarrrrrrgggggggggghhhhh!!!"
*SMACK, BLAM, KAPOW*


Six foot seven, weighs a farking ton

/He saves children, but not the British children
 
2009-10-15 01:46:06 PM  
Angry hippo is angry.
img97.imageshack.us
 
2009-10-15 01:46:19 PM  
Just noticed it in this thread:

Drew, WTF is up with the Flash/audio ads at the top of the page???
I know you need to get your paper but that shiat is overly annoying.
 
2009-10-15 01:48:00 PM  
hogans: Doctor Funkenstein: I would have thought that when he opened his mouth it would have been just more fists. Kinda like looking behind Chuck Norris' beard.

British Soldier: "You are defeated. Surrender."

GW: "Blarrrrrrgggggggggghhhhh!!!"
*SMACK, BLAM, KAPOW*

Six foot seven, weighs a farking ton

/He saves children, but not the British children


He killed his sensei in a duel and never said why.
 
2009-10-15 01:48:44 PM  
I'm no dentist, but I'm pretty sure the molar doesn't go there.
 
2009-10-15 01:49:07 PM  
Hungry Hungry Washington
http://tinyurl.com/ykyp24j
(copy and paste)
 
2009-10-15 01:50:56 PM  
Wow those must have been some great teeth lol, springs ouch. I think he needed a new dentist.
 
2009-10-15 01:52:37 PM  
Did you know that George Washington is credited with introducing the mule to America? Look it up if you don't believe me.
 
2009-10-15 01:53:53 PM  
...woolen teeth...
 
2009-10-15 01:55:23 PM  
dj1s: ...woolen teeth...

Ewe, gross.
 
Pud
2009-10-15 01:55:52 PM  
Boyd Schidt: Did you know that George Washington is credited with introducing the mule to America? Look it up if you don't believe me.

I was told there would not be any homework
 
2009-10-15 01:56:02 PM  
Boyd Schidt: Did you know that George Washington is credited with introducing the mule to America? Look it up if you don't believe me.

Holy crap. From the mule's wiki page:

However, in the United States, a dedicated number of mule breeders, continued the tradition as hobby and continued breeding the great lines of mammoth jacks started in the United States by George Washington with the gift from the King of Spain of two Catalan jacks. These hobby breeders began to utilize better mares for mule production until today's modern saddle mule emerged.

Ha! When he wasn't beating people down and creating America, his hobby was forcing mules to fark.
 
2009-10-15 02:02:18 PM  
12 Stories tall, made of radia-tion.
 
2009-10-15 02:02:42 PM  
Doctor Funkenstein: Ha! When he wasn't beating people down and creating America, his hobby was forcing mules to fark

that may be fun to watch, but it isn't going to produce anything
 
2009-10-15 02:07:38 PM  
Lloyd Braun: is that amy winehouse?
 
2009-10-15 02:10:13 PM  
In high school I had a really young American history teacher, right out of college. When lecturing about the Revolutionary War, he remarked, "Washington was, by far, our most badass president." We burst out laughing and he realized what he said. Still, he was right. Washington would often be on the front lines of battle, but he was never shot. His coat was shot through several times, and he had several horses shot out from under him, but he always emerged unscathed, like friggin' Wyatt Erpp. He also liked his drink. I've read what they ordered for the continental congress, and it included multiple barrels of brandy and whiskey, and dozens of kegs of beer. That's right, when our nation was being built, the men who were building it were shiatfaced. He also had a temper. According to Thomas Jefferson, (and I'm quoting Cracked here, god help me), "Washington 'was naturally irritable' and when his temper 'broke its bonds, he was most tremendous in his wrath.' One time, in fact, he became 'much inflamed [and] got into one of those passions when he cannot command himself.' Witnesses agreed that, after these sudden bursts of rage, Washington generally became calm and amiable again."

So, essentially, Washington was a kickass general, a deadly warrior with God's own luck, a big drinker, and a berserker when you pissed him off. Also, he is the Father of America. I'd be surprised if he DIDN'T have the teeth of the most dangerous animal in Africa in his mouth. He probably only accepted them because dragons aren't real and he had to settle.

And don't be talking that Teddy Roosevelt shiat to me; Washington was the best.
 
2009-10-15 02:12:05 PM  
Doctor Funkenstein: Ha! When he wasn't beating people down and creating America, his hobby was forcing mules to fark.

I think one of us doesn't understand how Mules are 'bred'.

My money's on you.
 
2009-10-15 02:15:19 PM  
hogans: Doctor Funkenstein: I would have thought that when he opened his mouth it would have been just more fists. Kinda like looking behind Chuck Norris' beard.

British Soldier: "You are defeated. Surrender."

GW: "Blarrrrrrgggggggggghhhhh!!!"
*SMACK, BLAM, KAPOW*

Six foot seven, weighs a farking ton

/He saves children, but not the British children


I came here to say this.

Link (new window)NSFW
 
2009-10-15 02:15:59 PM  
StochasticLife: Doctor Funkenstein: Ha! When he wasn't beating people down and creating America, his hobby was forcing mules to fark.

I think one of us doesn't understand how Mules are 'bred'.

My money's on you.


I understand. I'm just guessing before the days of telvision and radio, a man needed something to entertain himself with while he was sharpening his teeth and eating gun powder. A good, down home mule bangin' show was apparently just the trick. We have to go to Mexico for things like that now.
 
2009-10-15 02:21:43 PM  
Washington, Washington... (new window)

/NSFW audio
 
2009-10-15 02:30:18 PM  
Baldanders:

that's why he was badass of the week (new window)back in 2005
 
2009-10-15 02:31:09 PM  
His teeth were made of wool.

www.filmweb.no
 
2009-10-15 02:41:41 PM  
Came for Big Daddy.

I'll be going now.
 
2009-10-15 02:58:21 PM  
his teeth were pulled from slaves!
 
2009-10-15 03:00:48 PM  
Baldanders: In high school I had a really young American history teacher, right out of college. When lecturing about the Revolutionary War, he remarked, "Washington was, by far, our most badass president." We burst out laughing and he realized what he said. Still, he was right. Washington would often be on the front lines of battle, but he was never shot. His coat was shot through several times, and he had several horses shot out from under him, but he always emerged unscathed, like friggin' Wyatt Erpp. He also liked his drink. I've read what they ordered for the continental congress, and it included multiple barrels of brandy and whiskey, and dozens of kegs of beer. That's right, when our nation was being built, the men who were building it were shiatfaced. He also had a temper. According to Thomas Jefferson, (and I'm quoting Cracked here, god help me), "Washington 'was naturally irritable' and when his temper 'broke its bonds, he was most tremendous in his wrath.' One time, in fact, he became 'much inflamed [and] got into one of those passions when he cannot command himself.' Witnesses agreed that, after these sudden bursts of rage, Washington generally became calm and amiable again."

So, essentially, Washington was a kickass general, a deadly warrior with God's own luck, a big drinker, and a berserker when you pissed him off. Also, he is the Father of America. I'd be surprised if he DIDN'T have the teeth of the most dangerous animal in Africa in his mouth. He probably only accepted them because dragons aren't real and he had to settle.

And don't be talking that Teddy Roosevelt shiat to me; Washington was the best.




TheRameres: FTA: His dentist had it encased in gold and glass and attached it to his pocket watch.

Does this mean we can extract the DNA, stick it in a developing embryo, and grow our own George Washington?


No, but it does explain how he was able to escape unscathed from battle. That was his phylactery. General George "Lich King" Washington?
 
2009-10-15 03:02:26 PM  
Karma Curmudgeon - I'm no dentist, but I'm pretty sure the molar doesn't go there.

I'm no dentist either, but aren't you supposed to have more than 15 teeth total?
 
2009-10-15 03:54:45 PM  
interactivequill.files.wordpress.com
 
2009-10-15 04:04:42 PM  
Day_Old_Dutchie: Angry hippo is angry.
img97.imageshack.us



What George Washington's Dentist's Slave might have looked like.

White Dentist (you best Eddie Murphy white man impression) - "Kunta, go over there to the river and fetch me back a hippo tooth, so that from that single tooth I can carve a set of dentures for Mr Washington."

Black Slave - "You want me to do what?" mumbling as he heads to the river "Dumbass cracker dentist, want me to pull a hippo tooth. A muthfarkin hippo tooth. WTF is wrong with you dumbass crackers? Can't you use a tree and make some wooden teeth. A farkin hippo tooth."
 
2009-10-15 04:11:03 PM  
funnywebjokes.files.wordpress.com
 
2009-10-15 05:05:46 PM  
BOOZE money.
pool.theinfosphere.org
/hot
 
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