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(Some Jewish Guy)   Apocalypse-shouting fish found in NY   (observer.co.uk) divider line 121
    More: Weird  
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12434 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2003 at 9:11 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-03-15 09:12:50 PM  
Wat is this doing here? It's not an IOL link!
 
2003-03-15 09:13:12 PM  
Time to check for a gas leak...
 
2003-03-15 09:13:45 PM  
some jewish guy? shiza
 
2003-03-15 09:14:48 PM  
Schmuck
 
2003-03-15 09:14:57 PM  
The animated carp commanded Rosen to pray and study the Torah. Rosen tried to kill the fish but injured himself. It was finally butchered by Nivelo and sold.

Ok, if a fish speaks to you, and you think it's god, you don't butcher and sell the fish. Either you dispose of it respectfully, or you build it into a cement block and dump it in the deepest water you can find.
 
2003-03-15 09:15:06 PM  
Daredeviltravis: Could've been worse, it could've been Some Zionist Conspiracy.
 
2003-03-15 09:16:10 PM  
Superflu, apocalyptic fish, war in the Middle East.

Time to buy some canned goods.
 
2003-03-15 09:16:59 PM  
When you meet the Buddha on the road, serve him up with matzo and a glass of Mogan David...
 
2003-03-15 09:18:24 PM  
"He's grown tired of the whole thing. 'It's just a big headache for me,' he added. 'I pull my phone out of the wall at night. I don't sleep and I've lost weight.'
"


i could stand to drop a couple pounds after this long winter in the northeast. maybe i should go see this god fish.
 
2003-03-15 09:19:17 PM  
Soon after the 'miracle' was over, the people agreed God never tasted better than any other carp. The end.
 
2003-03-15 09:19:40 PM  
I wonder who ate the god-fish...
 
2003-03-15 09:21:11 PM  
They were all fooled. There was a ventriloquist lobster in the room.
 
2003-03-15 09:21:15 PM  
I had an enchanted pack of ramen sing Ethyl Merman tunes to me at lunch today.
 
2003-03-15 09:24:21 PM  
"'It said "Tzaruch shemirah" and "Hasof bah",' he told the New York Times, 'which essentially means that everyone doesn't want to be clubbed on the head & eaten'"
 
2003-03-15 09:25:45 PM  
It was finally butchered by Nivelo and sold.

What the hell? The fish starts screaming about the apocalypse and so they kill and sell it? How does that make sense?

"Ah, just another fish. Put it in the bucket with the non-Hebrew speaking ones. Mazel Tov."
 
2003-03-15 09:26:12 PM  
Someone needs to post a pic of that singing/dancing frog from the bugs bunny show...
 
2003-03-15 09:26:17 PM  
Heh...
when paranoia sets in, the gurgling sound a fish, especially a large fish, can make when it is drowning (yes, fish drown) probably sounds like g0d in any langague you could imagine.
Anyone who has gone fishing for larger fish knows that they can make some seriously eerie sounds when they are kept out of water for a while.
Nothing more to see here, move along.
 
2003-03-15 09:28:00 PM  


The fish then proceeded to sing lame, fish-themed versions of popular oldies.
 
2003-03-15 09:28:04 PM  
Now every farking religion is going to have some PR bull shiat miracle.

The Catholics with the damned Virgin Farking Mary everywhere.

Now the Jews with some stinking apocalypse shouting fish.

Some Buddhist is going to claim to have heard the sound of one hand clapping next?

Farking Osama will start showing up like Elvis.

What else? Help me out here.
 
2003-03-15 09:30:12 PM  
A devout Christian, he still thinks the carp was the Devil. 'I don't believe any of this Jewish stuff. But I heard that fish talk.'

I think that this so-called devout Christian needs to take a look at the Older Testament...
 
2003-03-15 09:30:17 PM  


Good one!
 
2003-03-15 09:30:38 PM  
What the hell? The fish starts screaming about the apocalypse and so they kill and sell it? How does that make sense?

"Knife goes in, guts come out! That's what Osaka Seafood Concern is all about!"
 
2003-03-15 09:33:05 PM  
If the "talking fish" religion is the correct one, I, for one, will be very surprised.
 
2003-03-15 09:33:07 PM  
Ok, as a religious Jew, I just want to tell you gus that not all of us are crazy!

Seriously, this is a dumb story. The NYtimes made it out like Jews all believe this, but as a matter of fact, its mostly limited to a very small group from the Skver community. Everyone else thinks they've lost it.
 
2003-03-15 09:33:12 PM  
If there really is an all-knowing and all-powerful god, why the hell would he choose to communicate through a fish, in hebrew?

if I were god I'd either come back as a huge friggin dinosaur shouting apocolyptic messages, or turn the sky red and paint my message in the clouds.

No one believes a talking fish... you just get filleted and sold on the market.
 
2003-03-15 09:34:10 PM  
Good ol' company loyalty songs.
 
2003-03-15 09:35:12 PM  
At least they killed it.
 
2003-03-15 09:35:28 PM  
I'd believe it if it was a talking gefilte fish.
 
2003-03-15 09:37:05 PM  
Someone needs to post a pic of that singing/dancing frog from the bugs bunny show...

Right behind yah:



"Wwweeeee'd like to pre-sent, on, the dub-a-yu-bee, another bad show, that no-one will SEEE-eeee-EEE! ...Ah, I need a drink."
 
2003-03-15 09:37:25 PM  
ZipBeep: You mean you don't hear the sound of one hand clapping? Hear, listen closely... " " Neat, huh?
 
2003-03-15 09:39:34 PM  
One Fish
Two Fish
Talking Fish
Gefilte Fish
 
2003-03-15 09:43:20 PM  
A radio fell overboard from the S.S. Minnow and was swallowed by the carp.
 
2003-03-15 09:45:55 PM  
Uhmn, fish have no voicebox! Don't you all recognize a miracle when you see one??

Damnned unbelievers!

/sarcasm
 
2003-03-15 09:53:08 PM  
But, StinkyPinky, how can this be? Didn't you ever see "The Incredible Mr. Limpet"? That fish was a secret weapon for the Navy.
 
2003-03-15 09:55:30 PM  
robotninja:

i thought of that too when i first read this article...cheers!
 
2003-03-15 09:55:36 PM  
Somewhere in that community is a ventriloquist with a twisted sense of humor!
 
ACF
2003-03-15 09:58:59 PM  
It can't be the end of the world yet, the bible says when the endtime is nigh pictures on the wall will appear to speak to you.

I'm going to go watch my Plasma TV now.
 
2003-03-15 09:59:43 PM  
lol!
 
2003-03-15 10:02:47 PM  
Oh no! They killed Don Knotts! The bastards!
 
2003-03-15 10:03:17 PM  
You would think a god fish would be at least bilingual.

Also, isn't the jesus fish supposed to be symbolic of a woman's vagina? I can't wait for this story to evolve!
 
2003-03-15 10:05:19 PM  
This has to be one of the funniest stories I've ever encountered through Fark. I really don't have anything else to say.
 
2003-03-15 10:10:57 PM  
Holy Carp!
 
2003-03-15 10:12:54 PM  
Somewhere in that community is a ventriloquist with a twisted sense of humor!

Yeah, it sounds like someone playing a practical joke.
 
2003-03-15 10:15:26 PM  
If you're devout, you get reincarnated as a FISH? Oh, yeah, I'm gonna go be all religious NOW...sheesh.
 
2003-03-15 10:17:29 PM  
now, i'm jewish, but all us non hasidic jews view the hasids as slightly....eccentric. what is really curious to me is how the 2 men have the same story. they should polygraph them, see what happens. i'm sure a random hasid and a fish selling hispanic wont be trained to beat the test. i wonder what the results would be?
 
2003-03-15 10:18:48 PM  
03-15-03 09:16:10 PM Shank
Superflu, apocalyptic fish, war in the Middle East.

Time to buy some canned goods.


When the world ends, i'll be here on Fark, watching what people say.
 
2003-03-15 10:18:59 PM  
I bet they sold it to a gentile...

What do you suppose the price for a God-fish is? 30 silver?
 
2003-03-15 10:22:22 PM  
Fish heads, fish heads, talking, squaking fish heads.
Fish heads, fish heads...eat them up, yum.
 
2003-03-15 10:24:04 PM  
ALL OF YOU HEATENS BOW DOWN BEFORE THE NECROPHELIAC FISH KING!
 
2003-03-15 10:24:22 PM  
Oh great. The Messiah returns and the Jews kill him again.

/going straight to hell
 
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