Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Product Reviews)   It's October, so here's your annual doctor's warning about how carving pumpkins causes horrible "finger lacerations" which "change a person's life forever." Guess they haven't heard of band-aids   (product-reviews.net) divider line 68
    More: Stupid, Halloween, kitchen knives, pumpkin carving, candy, audio file, stickers, Dr. Michelle Palazzo, lessons  
•       •       •

2661 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Oct 2009 at 12:09 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



68 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2009-10-10 11:28:09 AM  
And remember to check your kid's candy for the ones you like the best razor blades.
 
2009-10-10 11:54:28 AM  
How about "it's a good time for kids to learn the basics of knife safety"?

/For SCIENCE!
 
2009-10-10 11:58:26 AM  
It's October, so here's your annual doctor's warning about how carving pumpkins causes horrible "finger lacerations" which "change a person's life forever." Guess they haven't heard of band-aids

Or bacta tanks.

/strong enough to pull the ears off a gundark
 
2009-10-10 12:08:27 PM  
abb3w: How about "it's a good time for kids to learn the basics of knife safety"?

Definitely. My grandmother was the type who "canned" all kinds of stuff in Mason jars, my mom worked in a peach packinghouse when she was in school, so I grew up actually knowing how to use a paring knife and stuff like that. (No, the dull side does NOT go toward your thumb.)

Somehow, my little sister missed out on the knowledge transfer, and now moans that it takes her four minutes to peel an apple. I mock her. :)

When my daughter was 4 years old, she went to a "Waldorf" preschool. Didn't learn the alphabet or anything, but learned how to use a sharp knife to slice veggies for salad. Probably a good idea to teach kids knife safety pretty early, helps prevent accidents later.


/Four minutes = four apples. Peeled, cored and sliced.
//Male.
 
2009-10-10 12:13:52 PM  
They didn't warn about holding lit fireworks so I'll go do that instead of mutilating a pumpkin.
 
2009-10-10 12:15:23 PM  
How else are we going to cull the weak and stupid?
 
2009-10-10 12:16:53 PM  
dbirchall: abb3w: How about "it's a good time for kids to learn the basics of knife safety"?

Definitely. My grandmother was the type who "canned" all kinds of stuff in Mason jars, my mom worked in a peach packinghouse when she was in school, so I grew up actually knowing how to use a paring knife and stuff like that. (No, the dull side does NOT go toward your thumb.)

Somehow, my little sister missed out on the knowledge transfer, and now moans that it takes her four minutes to peel an apple. I mock her. :)

When my daughter was 4 years old, she went to a "Waldorf" preschool. Didn't learn the alphabet or anything, but learned how to use a sharp knife to slice veggies for salad. Probably a good idea to teach kids knife safety pretty early, helps prevent accidents later.


/Four minutes = four apples. Peeled, cored and sliced.
//Male.


We're all super impressed.
 
2009-10-10 12:17:51 PM  
dlewis6: We're all super impressed.

Well screw you, I am.
 
2009-10-10 12:18:21 PM  
Safety culture has gone insane.
 
2009-10-10 12:19:52 PM  
abb3w: How about "it's a good time for kids to learn the basics of knife safety"?

/For SCIENCE!


They had us carving little sculptures out of bars of soap with pocketknives back in grade 4, mid 80's. Everyone else was injury free except the kid who wore a bowtie and carried a briefcase to school - he sliced his thumb down to the bone. I think it was on purpose so he didn't have to play violin.

Not sure why were were being taught how to carve on bars of soap.
 
2009-10-10 12:19:54 PM  
Yes, it's important to teach kids the valuable lessons that knives shouldn't be used by anyone for anything, that everything is dangerous, and that even holiday traditions that somehow previous generations managed to partake in safely are now fatal. Break out the bubble wrap.......
 
2009-10-10 12:20:29 PM  
Why would you greenlight an article about an article? Product-reviews.net is obviously an SEOed site just wanting you to click the big old adsense on the top of the article. The real article was over at http://www.wlky.com/news/21253528/detail.html (new window)
 
2009-10-10 12:22:09 PM  
DaBishop: dlewis6: We're all super impressed.

Well screw you, I am.


No, no, I seriously am. Sometimes, when I'm trying to get girls, I just peel apples as fast as I possibly can. And, WITH OUT FAIL, they always note that I fell short of one a minute. And then they add that they weren't even peeled, cored, and sliced, spit in my face, and move on.
 
2009-10-10 12:22:32 PM  
Why don't we just issue everyone oven mitts, helmets and bubble wrap from cradle to grave. Think of the health care costs we'd save.
 
2009-10-10 12:27:27 PM  
dbirchall: abb3w: How about "it's a good time for kids to learn the basics of knife safety"?

Definitely. My grandmother was the type who "canned" all kinds of stuff in Mason jars, my mom worked in a peach packinghouse when she was in school, so I grew up actually knowing how to use a paring knife and stuff like that. (No, the dull side does NOT go toward your thumb.)

Somehow, my little sister missed out on the knowledge transfer, and now moans that it takes her four minutes to peel an apple. I mock her. :)

When my daughter was 4 years old, she went to a "Waldorf" preschool. Didn't learn the alphabet or anything, but learned how to use a sharp knife to slice veggies for salad. Probably a good idea to teach kids knife safety pretty early, helps prevent accidents later.


/Four minutes = four apples. Peeled, cored and sliced.
//Male.


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2009-10-10 12:29:00 PM  
Well, the doctors wouldn't be doing their jobs if they weren't advising you not to hurt yourself like a retard.
 
2009-10-10 12:31:25 PM  
Dr. Michelle Palazzo said that most of these injuries are caused with the knife that is used for carving out the pumpkin, which is why we should ditch the kitchen knife and use items such as stickers' markers and paints. These do not look as great as carving, but it is a good lesson for kids that knives are not safe.

LOL pussies.
 
2009-10-10 12:31:44 PM  
This is the latest casualty of the downfall of traditional civilization as we know it.
 
2009-10-10 12:33:33 PM  
Palazzo does not rule out pumpkin carving altogether though; just make sure that you are not a bumbling idiot
 
2009-10-10 12:38:32 PM  
Congratulations, subby! Your knowledge of first aid entitles you to this year's Nobel Prize for Medicine!
 
2009-10-10 12:40:50 PM  
unimpressed
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2009-10-10 12:41:51 PM  
dlewis6: No, no, I seriously am. Sometimes, when I'm trying to get girls, I just peel apples as fast as I possibly can. And, WITH OUT FAIL, they always note that I fell short of one a minute. And then they add that they weren't even peeled, cored, and sliced, spit in my face, and move on.

I guess they didn't find you appealing.
 
cj_
2009-10-10 12:42:50 PM  
What the hell kind of idiot uses a kitchen knife to carve a pumpkin? The completely-safe serrated blades you can pick up around this time are vastly superior.

People are farking stupid.
 
2009-10-10 12:44:26 PM  
thehighesttree: Dr. Michelle Palazzo said that most of these injuries are caused with the knife that is used for carving out the pumpkin, which is why we should ditch the kitchen knife and use items such as stickers' markers and paints. These do not look as great as carving, but it is a good lesson for kids that knives are not safe.

LOL pussies.


Did Dr. Palazzo receive her training in England? Conversely, carving a pumpkin under parental supervision teaches how to use a knife sa-- aww fark it, I can't believe I was even going to explain that.
 
2009-10-10 12:49:22 PM  
The pussification of America continues.
 
2009-10-10 12:51:03 PM  
dbirchall: abb3w: How about "it's a good time for kids to learn the basics of knife safety"?

Definitely. My grandmother was the type who "canned" all kinds of stuff in Mason jars, my mom worked in a peach packinghouse when she was in school, so I grew up actually knowing how to use a paring knife and stuff like that. (No, the dull side does NOT go toward your thumb.)

Somehow, my little sister missed out on the knowledge transfer, and now moans that it takes her four minutes to peel an apple. I mock her. :)

When my daughter was 4 years old, she went to a "Waldorf" preschool. Didn't learn the alphabet or anything, but learned how to use a sharp knife to slice veggies for salad. Probably a good idea to teach kids knife safety pretty early, helps prevent accidents later.


/Four minutes = four apples. Peeled, cored and sliced.
//Male.


I'm impressed... why not teach kids something besides how to buy a Big Mac
 
2009-10-10 12:51:34 PM  
Where do I get me some of them "stickers' markers"?
 
2009-10-10 12:54:38 PM  
"The better option is to not use a kitchen knife at all. Use things like markers and paints and stickers to help decorate, that way kids of all ages can decorate the pumpkins without worry of injury," said Palazzo.

they will have to worry about being teased unmercifully however for being wusses.
 
2009-10-10 01:01:15 PM  
I actually stabbed a knife completely through my hand when carving a pumpkin.

/srsly
//cool story bro
 
2009-10-10 01:03:23 PM  
wee beastie: I actually stabbed a knife completely through my hand when carving a pumpkin.

/srsly
//cool story bro


Why didn't you stop after the first stabbing?
 
2009-10-10 01:08:15 PM  
infie: Safety culture has gone insane.

It's not safety culture. It's a culture of fear and legal liability.

I agree - pumpkin carving time would be an excellent opportunity to teach kids how to use knives safely. And they even make special pumpkin-carving knives that are meant to be used by children.

But no, let's just use stickers instead. And people keep asking me if I'll ever come back to live in the US. Uh, no.
 
2009-10-10 01:09:30 PM  
If you're that worried, get a fillet glove.
 
2009-10-10 01:09:47 PM  
I don't carve em. We use em for target practice. The small ones fly apart really nice.
 
2009-10-10 01:10:12 PM  
My family was never big into pumpkins, so it wasn't until I moved into Philly at the age of 30 that I learned the joys of pumpkin carving, roasted pumpkin seeds, and pumpkin cheesecake. Pumpkin carving is much easier than I thought it would be.
 
2009-10-10 01:11:00 PM  
Sobriety Online: I'm impressed... why not teach kids something besides how to buy a Big Mac

Who teaches kids how to buy a Big Mac?
 
2009-10-10 01:12:32 PM  
What the article didn't mention is the danger inherent in bringing pumpkins home at all.

They can weigh several pounds, and if lifted incorrectly can cause back injuries. If a child were to drop a pumpkin on his/her toe, it might be bruised (both the toe and the pumpkin.)

Better leave the pumpkins in the patch and put up cheap plastic Jack O'Lanterns - made in China, of course.
 
2009-10-10 01:16:01 PM  
thamike: Sobriety Online: I'm impressed... why not teach kids something besides how to buy a Big Mac

Who teaches kids how to buy a Big Mac?


all the parents who are too damned lazy to take their kids home and cook for them. it's teaching by example. just plop them down to a happy meal and watch them balloon up.

/insert fat kid at McDonalds here
 
2009-10-10 01:26:56 PM  
dbirchall: /Four minutes = four apples. Peeled, cored and sliced.
//Male.

I call shenanigans. Why the hell would any guy WANT a peeled, cored, and sliced apple? A real man wants an apple, he eats an apple, stem, peel, pesticides, sticker and all.

Seriously though, how much can a finger laceration change someone's life? At worst, they can be week-changing, for that period when you've got the big wad of gauze on there and have to find another way to pick your nose.
 
2009-10-10 01:28:27 PM  
Jeeez, pussification of America, indeed.

At age three, my brother sliced his finger to the bone "helping" carve a jack 'o lantern. It toughened him up for when he split open his chin from jumping into a pool backwards four years later. He and his daughter now carve up seeral pumpkins, then blow them up a day or so after Halloween.

My son sliced open his finger in Cub Scouts. He tied a handkerchief oer it and kept on going.

My granddaughter at age 8 was helping her father's gf butcher a deer with no problems.

Kids learn by doing.
 
2009-10-10 01:30:37 PM  
hmmm, the v on my keyboard wants to go on strike.
 
2009-10-10 01:36:21 PM  
My kids and I use a drywall keyhole saw. There is no binding, no hard pushing, no problems. It cuts like a hot knife through butta!
www.home-repair-handy-helper.com
 
2009-10-10 01:41:11 PM  
Cockpuncher to the Stars: Seriously though, how much can a finger laceration change someone's life?

I bifurcated my pinkie on a can of Kal-Kan when I was a kid.
 
2009-10-10 01:43:02 PM  
Cockpuncher to the Stars: Seriously though, how much can a finger laceration change someone's life? At worst, they can be week-changing, for that period when you've got the big wad of gauze on there and have to find another way to pick your nose.

This. Heck, in First Responder class (above First Aid+CPR/AED but way below EMT, one week and not very expensive) they teach you what to do for outright amputations. Bring on the pumpkins, I say.

jbrooks544: My kids and I use a drywall keyhole saw. There is no binding, no hard pushing, no problems. It cuts like a hot knife through butta!

Damn, I need sleep, I read that as "cuts like a hot knife through butts!"
 
2009-10-10 01:45:13 PM  
thamike: Cockpuncher to the Stars: Seriously though, how much can a finger laceration change someone's life?

I bifurcated my pinkie on a can of Kal-Kan when I was a kid.


Fookin' prawn!

/Wikus
 
2009-10-10 01:50:52 PM  
Scary retarded pussification. 2 years ago we had like 15 jack-o-lanterns including several carved by our (then) 10 year-old. No hers weren't as complicated or cleanly done as those done by the adults, but she had a blast and, as has been pointed out here, it was a needed educational experience of safety with cutting tools.

farm4.static.flickr.com
(pops to full photoset)
 
2009-10-10 01:55:46 PM  
"Guess they haven't heard of band-aids"
What the hell do charity concerts have to do with anything, this is serious!

... what?
 
2009-10-10 01:56:49 PM  
zepplinrules: ... what?

Band-Aid is a charity concert.
 
2009-10-10 02:01:25 PM  
thamike: bifurcated

I just sliced my finger open on one of those rip-top can lids about 15 minutes ago. My kitchen floor looks the Manson Family had a party. First thing I thought of:

The buh-lood..ooh, the buh-lood!

i3.ytimg.com

/not funny!
 
2009-10-10 02:04:49 PM  
thamike: zepplinrules: ... what?

Band-Aid is a charity concert.


Alright. I know my sarcasm doesn't always translate well over the internet, but holy shiat.
 
2009-10-10 02:06:45 PM  
zepplinrules: Alright. I know my sarcasm doesn't always translate well over the internet, but holy shiat.

The italics made me think that everything before "...what?" was a quoted comment that you were replying to.
 
Displayed 50 of 68 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report