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(Some Superhero)   SuperHero Smackdown QuarterFinals: Batman vs The Hulk   (thecorrectness.com) divider line 294
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11373 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Oct 2009 at 4:55 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-10-09 05:36:44 PM
mikeandeichmann: .. He took down Superman because he was weakened by a nuclear blast and a kryptonite shot, and he generally only wins by managing to exploit the weakness of some other character. The problem is that the Hulk has no weaknesses,..

Sure he does. Hulk can't fly can he? How about setting some sub-zero magnetic levitation ray on him. Or toss him into space. Hell, maybe just a giant fan to keep him sailing stationary in mid-air.
 
2009-10-09 05:37:20 PM
Also, for anyone who hates the Hulk as a one dimensional character, you OBVIOUSLY haven't been following the latest storyline, where he gets shot to a strange universe by Dr. Strange and Ironman, becomes it's king, THEN the craft they shot him into space with blows up his new planet and wife and he gets pissed and comes back to destroy the Earth. In the process of which he gets into a fight with Wolverine and realizing that Wolverine will instantly heal and keep coming back to fight some more, decides to hold Wolverine with one hand and literally beat him into a brain-dead coma with the other. Fact. Most disturbing scene I've ever seen in a comic book. He would make Batman his girlfriend in approximately .00002 seseconds.

So... yeah. Catch up.
 
2009-10-09 05:37:33 PM
garyg: mikeandeichmann: .. He took down Superman because he was weakened by a nuclear blast and a kryptonite shot, and he generally only wins by managing to exploit the weakness of some other character. The problem is that the Hulk has no weaknesses,..

Sure he does. Hulk can't fly can he? How about setting some sub-zero magnetic levitation ray on him. Or toss him into space. Hell, maybe just a giant fan to keep him sailing stationary in mid-air.


Hulk can destroy planets...
 
2009-10-09 05:37:54 PM
CowboyNinjaD: Heroic Poser: If Batman beat farking Superman in Dark Knight Returns, he dang sure can kill the Hulk.

/not a contest



I'm so farking sick of this farking argument. Read any issue of All-Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder, and then say with a straight face that anything Frank Miller has ever written should be considered definitive comic book canon.

DKR was an awesome book, but let's be honest. Superman lost in DKR because Superman was the bad guy. And bad guys always lose in the end.

Lex Luthor more or less beat Superman in Red Son. So do we disregard every time Superman has beaten Lex in normal continuity because Lex managed to pull off a win in an Elseworlds book where he was the U.S. president and Supes was a dictator?

DKR was published more than two decades ago, and it was never part of the DC continuity, unless you want to count it as part of the bullshiat multiverse.


I like how this long and no doubt well rehearsed little single-serving rant is followed by:

Let it go, Bat-Fanboys. Let it go.

Yes, CowboyNinja. Let it go.

/they're comic book characters
//Everyone's got their favorites and their not-so-favorites.
///I don't care if Spiderman and Batman couldn't kick the shiat out of an anemic paraplegic that fell out of his wheelchair, they always win in my book.
//Besides, everyone's missing the real point here: Ash Williams would kill them all.

i192.photobucket.com
 
2009-10-09 05:38:50 PM
Latinwolf: Gwendolyn: Oh and Bane. He beat Bane too.

the only person that comes to mind that Batman couldn't defeat by himself is Apocalypse.

Didn't Deathstroke beat him once?


No idea. I don't think so but I am in no way an authority on this stuff.
 
2009-10-09 05:39:41 PM
i185.photobucket.com

The answer is The Goddamn Bat-Lantern.
 
2009-10-09 05:40:27 PM
Gwendolyn: Latinwolf: Gwendolyn: Oh and Bane. He beat Bane too.

the only person that comes to mind that Batman couldn't defeat by himself is Apocalypse.

Didn't Deathstroke beat him once?

No idea. I don't think so but I am in no way an authority on this stuff.


Obviously.

/my nerd rage is boiling over
 
2009-10-09 05:40:31 PM
garyg: Sure he does. Hulk can't fly can he? How about setting some sub-zero magnetic levitation ray on him. Or toss him into space. Hell, maybe just a giant fan to keep him sailing stationary in mid-air.


he can jump in to outerspace. He can grow fricken gills to breathe underwater. The Hulk has survived nuclear explosions and the implosion of a star. I'm not sure that he has a real weakness other than turning back in to Banner. As I said before, Hulk/Banner combo can't be beaten and the bats is dead.
 
2009-10-09 05:41:18 PM
Tw1ster: Dan2ine: Ringtailed79: Dan2ine: CygnusDarius: pd771: Dan2ine: The answer is, of course, the Green Lantern.

...

From the Justice League episode "The Greatest Story Never Told". Booster Gold and a bunch of second-stringers in the JLU are doing crowd control and some kid asks for Booster's autograph. The kid is disappointed becase he thought Booster was the Green Lantern.

Also, I am a gigantic nerd... as is pd771 and Ringtailed79. :D

I'm revoking your nerd card. You are henceforth demoted to dork.

True enough. I just noticed I called the show Justice League, not Justice League Unlimited. A dork I am then.

Still it was a good episode, even if it was aired five years ago.

My god that WAS 5 years ago. God, I'm old.


That was funny 'cause it's cruel.
 
2009-10-09 05:41:25 PM
Better matchup = Nick Fury vs. Batman
 
2009-10-09 05:41:33 PM
swahnhennessy Quote 2009-10-09 05:21:22 PM
Yeah, we all think Batman is the bee's knees, but c'mon....it's the Hulk.

Speaking of which, why is that the Hulk can take a shell from a tank with nary a scratch, but a tranquilizer dart can floor him?


Plotting... they needed to knock out the Hulk, the plot wouldn't advance w/ out him being somehow incapacitated. Could have gone with a gas grenade or something.

/agree
//retarded
 
2009-10-09 05:41:49 PM
Two days to prepare, eh?

Hulk spends the two days getting pissed then destroys the planet by smashing his way to the core and destroying it.

Bats is killed as collateral.
 
2009-10-09 05:43:10 PM
netweavr: Two days to prepare, eh?

Hulk spends the two days getting pissed then destroys the planet by smashing his way to the core and destroying it.

Bats is killed as collateral.


Hulk would probably find some interesting fossils to calm him down, and that'd be it for him.
 
2009-10-09 05:43:55 PM
It seems to be a common theme in these articles to pair superheroes who are invincible with superheroes that are not, with obvious results.
 
2009-10-09 05:44:24 PM
IonBeam2: It seems to be a common theme in these articles to pair superheroes who are invincible with superheroes that are not, with obvious results.

Well it's brackets. Eventually it'll get better.
 
2009-10-09 05:45:02 PM
www.inquisitr.com

My money's on this guy.
 
2009-10-09 05:45:03 PM
skinnyartist:

Being Batman is his flaw. He usually is the cause of most of the problems.


Yep.

pd771:

I think Batman's paranoia is his Achilles' Heel.



That's the biggest one. He's also antisocial, narcissistic, avoidant, impulsive/borderline, obsessive-compulsive, schizotypal, schizoid and, arguably, histrionic. I think he just picked up a copy of the DSM-IV and said "hmmm... I'll have one of each, please."


/But Bob Kane knew that DC wouldn't let him use "Bat-Shiate-Crazy-Man" as a title. ;-)
 
2009-10-09 05:45:16 PM
I ac... uhh... I actually kinda... you know... I kinda like the Hulk.

And I'd like to hear a good argument on why he's worse than Dazzler. I mean, even if he's as bad as you all say he is, at least he's got a line of underoos and glow-in-the-dark lightswitch covers. Dazzler doesn't have underoos.

Sure, maybe he's not the "deepest" or "richest" character out there, but sometimes I read comics to not hear about peoples' problems. Maybe sometimes I read comics to watch Hulk smash more stuff. Cuz he's the frakkin' HULK! If you want an emotional wah-fest, watch the young & the restless. I'm gonna sit over here and read about Hulk clobbering someone who thought they were smarter than him.
 
2009-10-09 05:45:32 PM
FuryOfFirestorm: Actually, it was Ra's Al Ghul who used Batman's failsafes against the Justice League, in the "Tower of Babel" story in JLA.

Deathstroke did single-handedly kick the JL asses in "Identity Crisis", using his own tactics. He uses 90% of his brain capacity, so he's always 10 steps ahead of everyone else.


Damn it, I know you were right the moment I read it.
 
2009-10-09 05:45:44 PM
FloydA: mandingueiro: 1. Hulk is not the worst character of all time. (ive seen far worse)



No, you haven't.
P1: Hulk is the worst character in the history of comics.
P2: It is not possible to make a worse character than Hulk, so

C: Hulk will always be the worst character in comics.

Q.E.D.

Hope that helps.


Okay, let's go down the list of characters worse than Hulk.

Prime- Shazam, but retarded
Anything made by Liefeld, including Shatterstar and Feral
Marrow and Maggot of the X-Men
Puppetmaster
Talon, 90's stereotype cat-man of Guardians of the Galaxy
Slapstick
Razorfist
Killer Shrike
Carnage, and more than half of the rest of Spidey's Rogue's Gallery
Everything from the 2099 line, including Hulk 2099
Ultimate Hulk
The new female Black Panther
Cypher
Spider-Clone
Wolverine
Deathlok
Mondo Gecko of TMNT, along with an assorted roster of crappy mutant heroes
X-O Manowar
Skaar, son of Hulk
etc...
 
2009-10-09 05:45:54 PM
cannotsuggestaname: garyg: Sure he does. Hulk can't fly can he? How about setting some sub-zero magnetic levitation ray on him. Or toss him into space. Hell, maybe just a giant fan to keep him sailing stationary in mid-air.


he can jump in to outerspace. He can grow fricken gills to breathe underwater. The Hulk has survived nuclear explosions and the implosion of a star. I'm not sure that he has a real weakness other than turning back in to Banner. As I said before, Hulk/Banner combo can't be beaten and the bats is dead.


That's exactly why the Hulk is considered by many to be a retarded character. I personally like the Hulk, but he's completely cheesy. Which is why he deserves to lose this fight.

/Batman wins by virtue of Hulk being too cheesy.
//Mark it, dude.
 
2009-10-09 05:46:48 PM
How in fark did Batman make it to the QF's? East German judge is bought off.
 
2009-10-09 05:47:52 PM
averagejoe42: The answer is The Goddamn Bat-Lantern.

I love that picture.

www.superheronation.com
 
2009-10-09 05:48:15 PM
files.kinabrew.com

If Bats has one of these on his utility belt, he can calm the Hulk, then suckerpunch Banner.
 
2009-10-09 05:48:51 PM
pd771: FuryOfFirestorm: Actually, it was Ra's Al Ghul who used Batman's failsafes against the Justice League, in the "Tower of Babel" story in JLA.

Deathstroke did single-handedly kick the JL asses in "Identity Crisis", using his own tactics. He uses 90% of his brain capacity, so he's always 10 steps ahead of everyone else.

Damn it, I know you were right the moment I read it.


It should be pointed out that the Identity crisis fight being referred to here did not include bats.

/how deathstroke got the jump on the flash, we'll never know
 
2009-10-09 05:49:02 PM
if some glorified canadian neanderthal can give the Hulk a run for his money - i'm looking at you Wolverine - then Batman would probably have this fight over by the time i'm done writing this post.
 
2009-10-09 05:50:02 PM
farm4.static.flickr.com

Can Batman beat the Hulk?? No. Come on, people. Just..........just.........no. He couldn't. You know........just stop.
 
2009-10-09 05:50:03 PM
I Said: But he'd murder Batman. He'd murder him and then use Batman's skull as a condom while he rapes Batman's corpse.

You're right of course. But I'll just sit here like all the other morons and pretend that it's obvious Batman would win because he's smart. It's horseshiat of course but there's not talking to some people. Batman is the most criminally overrated comics hero ever - a wino with a thick bottle could take him out of he was looking the wrong way.
 
2009-10-09 05:50:42 PM
Hulk smash Bats?!?!
 
2009-10-09 05:51:00 PM
mandingueiro: 1. Hulk is not the worst character of all time. (ive seen far worse)
2. Banner is pretty much a super-genius
3.he would most likely be able to deduce Wayne's tactics
4. Batman almost beat Superman
5. Doomsday killed Sman
6.Dday is a rippoff of the Hulk.
7.batman could not survive Dday.
8. Batman would not survive the Hulk.
/i hate the depiction of Banner in the new Marvel cartoons


9. That's a ridiculous deduction and most likely the result of gayness.
 
2009-10-09 05:51:00 PM
Jeez, what is with this constant Hulk bashing? Not only is he NOT the lamest hero, he is actually one of the most interesting. His genesis was a response to the collective angst over the burgeoning nuclear confrontation between the US and the USSR, you could write a doctoral thesis in Psychology about why and how The Hulk came about and what it said about how society as a whole was feeling at the time.
 
2009-10-09 05:56:48 PM
mandingueiro: FloydA: mandingueiro: 1. Hulk is not the worst character of all time. (ive seen far worse)



No, you haven't.
P1: Hulk is the worst character in the history of comics.
P2: It is not possible to make a worse character than Hulk, so

C: Hulk will always be the worst character in comics.

Q.E.D.

Hope that helps.

superman is the worst character. I'm down with Batman, he cool.

/the question would be: Punisher vs. Batman.



I have that somewhere. It was the Jean-Paul Valley (sp?) batman with the kick-ass armored batsuit and Punisher throwin' down / working together.
 
2009-10-09 05:56:53 PM
IonBeam2: It seems to be a common theme in these articles to pair superheroes who are invincible with superheroes that are not, with obvious impossible results.

after RTFA.
 
2009-10-09 05:56:57 PM
dig420: Jeez, what is with this constant Hulk bashing? Not only is he NOT the lamest hero, he is actually one of the most interesting. His genesis was a response to the collective angst over the burgeoning nuclear confrontation between the US and the USSR, you could write a doctoral thesis in Psychology about why and how The Hulk came about and what it said about how society as a whole was feeling at the time.

Stop... no rational thought allowed
 
2009-10-09 05:57:10 PM
dig420: Jeez, what is with this constant Hulk bashing? Not only is he NOT the lamest hero, he is actually one of the most interesting. His genesis was a response to the collective angst over the burgeoning nuclear confrontation between the US and the USSR, you could write a doctoral thesis in Psychology about why and how The Hulk came about and what it said about how society as a whole was feeling at the time.


You raise an interesting and salient point, with just one minor problem, which is that the Hulk is the absolutely worst character in the entire history of comics.

Other than that, good point!
 
2009-10-09 05:58:41 PM
peon36: The answer is pretty obvious when the question is rephrased:
Who would win in a fight: Adam West or Lou Ferrigno?


www.batmangiftideas.com
VS.
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2009-10-09 05:58:55 PM
FloydA: B) Hulk is the worst character in all of comics

C) Whatever characters you just thought of that you speculate might be more boring and stupid than Hulk, they aren't because Hulk is the worst character in all of comics.


The more I think about it, the more I'm inclined to agree with this sentiment. My problem with the Hulk is two-fold: First, as has been said, he really doesn't have a real weakness. I mean, c'mon, he's able to shrug of anti-tank rounds and even nuclear weapons in a few conceptions, and if he does get injured, that just makes him angrier so he heals instantaneously. Sure, you can "calm him down," but that's a pretty stupid weakness. It's not like his invulnerability is even a super-rare thing either - once he gets angry, he can't be stopped. Constantly bringing out an unstoppable trump card doesn't make for a good storyline.

My second problem with the hulk is that he's one of those heros where the given mechanism for their powers doesn't adequately explain their abilities. All superheros require a certain suspension of disbelief, but the Hulk really exceeds my threshold. Guy becomes spider-like because of a bite from a mutant spider? Okay, fine. Guy heals really fast and has an unbreakable skeleton? Okay. Guy finds an alien artifact that allows him to wield tremendous power, okay, fine. Guy is exposed to radiation/ a biological agent, and whenever he gets angry his mass increases 10x and he becomes invulnerable but stupid....what?

When I was in fifth grade, a classmate of mine wanted to make a comic book hero about a guy who's head was a giant penis, and whenever he peed on his enemies, they'd turn into a toilet. The Hulk isn't that bad, but he's close.
 
2009-10-09 05:59:03 PM
Ringtailed79 Quote 2009-10-09 05:48:51 PM
pd771: FuryOfFirestorm: Actually, it was Ra's Al Ghul who used Batman's failsafes against the Justice League, in the "Tower of Babel" story in JLA.

Deathstroke did single-handedly kick the JL asses in "Identity Crisis", using his own tactics. He uses 90% of his brain capacity, so he's always 10 steps ahead of everyone else.

Damn it, I know you were right the moment I read it.

It should be pointed out that the Identity crisis fight being referred to here did not include bats.

/how deathstroke got the jump on the flash, we'll never know


He detonated the plastic explosives, or whatever, forcing the Flash to attack from behind. Deathstroke ain't no slouch in the speed dept...
 
2009-10-09 06:00:43 PM
there their theyre: peon36: The answer is pretty obvious when the question is rephrased:
Who would win in a fight: Adam West or Lou Ferrigno?


VS.


I love 'em both, but that's pretty much a Lou Ferrigno right there.
 
2009-10-09 06:01:24 PM
Electriclectic: FloydA: mandingueiro: 1. Hulk is not the worst character of all time. (ive seen far worse)



No, you haven't.
P1: Hulk is the worst character in the history of comics.
P2: It is not possible to make a worse character than Hulk, so

C: Hulk will always be the worst character in comics.

Q.E.D.

Hope that helps.

Okay, let's go down the list of characters worse than Hulk.

Prime- Shazam, but retarded
Anything made by Liefeld, including Shatterstar and Feral
Marrow and Maggot of the X-Men
Puppetmaster
Talon, 90's stereotype cat-man of Guardians of the Galaxy
Slapstick
Razorfist
Killer Shrike
Carnage, and more than half of the rest of Spidey's Rogue's Gallery
Everything from the 2099 line, including Hulk 2099
Ultimate Hulk
The new female Black Panther
Cypher
Spider-Clone
Wolverine
Deathlok
Mondo Gecko of TMNT, along with an assorted roster of crappy mutant heroes
X-O Manowar
Skaar, son of Hulk
etc...


Very happy to see him on there. Extremely overrated.

And again: The Hulk would pound Batman into a pulp. Banner would outsmart him and Hulk would smash his face so hard it would explode into dust.
 
2009-10-09 06:01:58 PM
It depends on which Hulk we're talking about. If we're talking about Moron Hulk, then I'd like to think that Batman would be able to find a way to pull a win out. If it's the more recent, smarter Hulk...game over, Batman. Game over.

JohnBigBootay: Batman is the most criminally overrated comics hero ever - a wino with a thick bottle could take him out of he was looking the wrong way.

Who said anything about Iron Man?
 
2009-10-09 06:03:05 PM
I don't know or care if Hulk or Batmn would win, but we all know that the Punisher would kill them all.
 
2009-10-09 06:03:38 PM
Gwendolyn: mandingueiro: superman is the worst character. I'm down with Batman, he cool.

/the question would be: Punisher vs. Batman.

Woah. That would be more interesting.


Wouldn't Spiderman or Iron-Man vs Batman be more appropriate? Iron-Man's got the paranoid rich guy thing going and Spiderman is Marvel's resident genius.
 
2009-10-09 06:03:45 PM
mooseyfate: pd771: Of course Batman wins. Batman always wins.

/Booster Gold, Time Master

That's what I came in to say. Batman always wins. Always. He could beat lung cancer with a carton of cigarettes.


Good thing I'm home alone. That laugh was way too loud for a comic book thread.
 
2009-10-09 06:04:35 PM
I have some bad news people. Apparently there has been some research done on this. As it turns out, there is no such thing as the Hulk, Superman, Batman or any of these people your talking about. And while I'm at it, zombies aren't real either. Sorry.
 
2009-10-09 06:05:48 PM
Here's a better smackdown:

i115.photobucket.com

vs.

img243.imageshack.us
 
2009-10-09 06:07:48 PM
Look at this picture:

i180.photobucket.com

Look at it!

Batman is throwing a boomerang at the Hulk (and MISSING) and the Hulk is about to smash him with a goddam firetruck. USING ONLY ONE ARM!
 
2009-10-09 06:08:34 PM
Oldiron_79: I don't know or care if Hulk or Batmn would win, but we all know that the Punisher would kill them all.

This is true.

Best comic (anti)hero ever.
 
2009-10-09 06:09:31 PM
CygnusDarius: Here's a better smackdown:



vs.


Fap?
 
2009-10-09 06:09:55 PM
This is even in question? It's Batman, cause, he's the god damn Batman.
 
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