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(ABC)   George Stephanopoulos starting list of "Best Obama-Nobel Jokes"   (blogs.abcnews.com) divider line 168
    More: Followup, George Stephanopoulos, Nobel, Obama, Nobel Jokes, White House Correspondents, Ana Marie Cox, Ezra Klein, Erick Erickson  
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5948 clicks; posted to Politics » on 09 Oct 2009 at 4:07 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-10-09 11:05:54 AM
The Nobel Prize Committee members stand behind their decision as this is the first time in ten years that they made a decision with only *three* empty whiskey bottles by the end.

Al Gore quoted as saying, "I may not have accomplished anything either, but hey at least I made a friggin' movie"

Nobel Prize committee members then promptly asked if Obama would finally stop crying about the Olympics

There will be a drawing next week for who wins the next Peace Prize. If you would like to enter, please leave your information at http://www.nobelpeaceprize.org

If this award gets any less prestigious, it's going to be gold foil on chocolate.

Okay that's all I got for now.
 
2009-10-09 01:10:38 PM
Those are not very funny. I'd be hard-pressed to even call them "jokes."
 
2009-10-09 01:12:55 PM
Those are the best ones?

//and he's quoting Johan Goldberg Kathryn Jean Lopez?
 
2009-10-09 01:24:47 PM
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Obama's Nobel Peace Prize
Obama's Nobel Peace Prize who?
Your mother's a whore
 
2009-10-09 03:03:59 PM
Of course he deserved it. His elegant evenly refined speeches put me at peace and the rest of world at peace. How could anyone else do so much without accomplishing anything? And Barry O-Yeah is much more than the president of our nation, he's the autocrat of my heart...
 
2009-10-09 03:12:39 PM
FARK YOU CLOWN!
 
2009-10-09 03:27:40 PM
HaywoodJablonski: FARK YOU CLOWN!

www.mojoimage.com
 
2009-10-09 03:28:06 PM
Enough with the good-natured chiding.
Pre-emptive awards are exciting!
I'm sure having fun
With Oscars I won
For screenplays I'm not finished writing!
 
2009-10-09 04:11:32 PM
Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a sane, independent thinking Republican and Barack Obama are all up for the Nobel Prize.

Who wins?
 
2009-10-09 04:12:02 PM
i187.photobucket.com

i187.photobucket.com
 
2009-10-09 04:12:21 PM
Obama awarded Nobel prize in chemistry. "He's just got great chemistry," says Nobel Committee.

Okay, that was pretty good.
 
2009-10-09 04:12:41 PM
Barack Obama's Teleprompter: Big Guy says Bill Clinton called and was gracious in defeat; offered to fly Kanye West over 4 the Nobel awards ceremony.

Erick Erickson: Obama is becoming Jimmy Carter faster than Jimmy Carter became Jimmy Carter.

Ana Marie Cox: Apparently Nobel prizes now being awarded to anyone who is not George Bush.

Headline over AP analysis by White House correspondent Jennifer Loven: He Won, But For What?

Kathryn Jean Lopez, National Review: I want to buy the world a coke.

Ezra Klein: Obama also awarded Nobel prize in chemistry. "He's just got great chemistry," says Nobel Committee.

Adam Bromberg, CRC: Nobel Prize Committee must be staffed by out of work comedy writers.

Kristina Hernandez, CRC: It was the Beer Summit that put Obama over the edge.



Extraordinarily funny, one and all. Indeed.
 
2009-10-09 04:13:19 PM
meh, the jokes in the fark thread were better.
 
2009-10-09 04:15:07 PM
Q: What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

A: Dr. Dre
 
2009-10-09 04:16:44 PM
Apparently Nobel prizes now being awarded to anyone who is not George Bush.

...That isn't a joke, that is whining.

He Won, But For What?

This isn't a joke either, this, while I am of a similar opinion, is an opinionated, leading question.

Big Guy says Bill Clinton called and was gracious in defeat; offered to fly Kanye West over 4 the Nobel awards ceremony.

And thanks, you killed the Kanye West "of all time!" joke for me with such abuse. From the comments :

"Yo, Barack. I'm really happy for you. I'ma let you finish......but Beyonce had one of the best strategic arms treaties of all time."

Thank you Doug!
 
2009-10-09 04:17:13 PM
11 days into a job that is going to be tough, and you get nominated for the gold. Is this a great world or what!
 
2009-10-09 04:17:49 PM
Mr_Fabulous: Extraordinarily funny, one and all. Indeed.

A true riot. . .wait wait, no, that was in Detroit. Try the salmon.
 
2009-10-09 04:19:30 PM
Obama should hold a press conference and rap about it.

Everybody say Nobel, motel, holiday eeeee-in...
You say if the fundies start actin' up, then you take the health care bill and amend...
 
2009-10-09 04:19:48 PM
vernonFL: Who wins?

upload.wikimedia.org

Approves
 
2009-10-09 04:21:33 PM
vernonFL: Obama awarded Nobel prize in chemistry. "He's just got great chemistry," says Nobel Committee.

Okay, that was pretty good.


If you are a fifth grader. That's a joke you tell on the playground.

Honestly, why is it so hard for conservatives to actually come up with jokes? I can see a few of them not being funny but time and time again, they are all horribly not witty or humorous. Why is that?
 
2009-10-09 04:23:43 PM
mekki: Honestly, why is it so hard for conservatives to actually come up with jokes? I can see a few of them not being funny but time and time again, they are all horribly not witty or humorous. Why is that?

Posted in the other thread, relevant here too :

i159.photobucket.com
 
2009-10-09 04:24:26 PM
douglemoine.com
/Tebow better watch his back. Everybody knows what award Obama really wants.
 
2009-10-09 04:25:59 PM
I thought the Nobel Peace Prize already was a joke? It's always been a popularity contest, nothing more.
 
2009-10-09 04:26:31 PM
David Letterman paid them to give Obama the award.
 
2009-10-09 04:35:37 PM
Miss Venezulea was totally robbed, but the committee didn't want to give it to the same country three years in a row. Barack totally rocked the evening gown competition, however.
 
2009-10-09 04:35:38 PM
vernonFL: Obama awarded Nobel prize in chemistry. "He's just got great chemistry," says Nobel Committee.

Okay, that was pretty good.


Ditto. That was funny.
 
2009-10-09 04:38:30 PM
Think I found out how this happened...

img193.imageshack.us
 
2009-10-09 04:39:06 PM
I'm absolutely shocked that this thread is filled with unfunny, dimwitted, slackjawed "O" haters confusing the term "joke" with "pedantic whining".
 
2009-10-09 04:40:10 PM
In 20012, he'll pack up all his trophys and awards and hymns and praises and platitudes and go home, still not having accomplished a damn thins except putting this country farther in debt. There's probably an award for that too.
 
2009-10-09 04:43:14 PM
Bender The Offender: I'm absolutely shocked that this thread is filled with unfunny, dimwitted, slackjawed "O" haters confusing the term "joke" with "pedantic whining".

And you guys say WE are the butthurt ones?

/Looks like someone needs to put on his big-boy pants.
 
2009-10-09 04:43:42 PM
Rockdrummer: In 20012, he'll pack up all his trophys and awards and hymns and praises and platitudes and go home, still not having accomplished a damn thins except putting this country farther in debt. There's probably an award for that too.

Accomplishing nothing? I would think that living for over 18,000 years would be at least a little notable.
 
2009-10-09 04:49:20 PM
Its not like Obama petitioned and ran for this honor. He was given it.

a few things that are good.

1. It gives the US nice diplomatic cred.
2. It gives honor back to the office.
3. It will bring parties to the table in the future and make it more difficult to say not to him.

The reaction to this is not surprising, when this should be a great day and honor for our country, there are people who for purely political reasons, will take down someone purely out of spite. The honor and dignity of the office are being restored around the world and some of you just want to biatch.

Let the man and the country have his moment.
 
2009-10-09 04:51:26 PM
"This is ridiculous. What company am I keeping?", asks Dalai Lama.

"Which is why he didnt invite you in."


Just think about it. He didnt meet Dalai Lama to avoid annoying the Chinese. I dont know if it caught the attention of the Nobel committee.
 
2009-10-09 04:54:32 PM
Erick Erickson: Obama is becoming Jimmy Carter faster than Jimmy Carter became Jimmy Carter.

Hate to say I told ya so...
 
2009-10-09 04:57:23 PM
zappadog:
3. It will bring parties to the table in the future and make it more difficult to say not to him.


Explain that point.
 
2009-10-09 04:57:38 PM
mcoctopus: Just think about it. He didnt meet Dalai Lama to avoid annoying the Chinese. I dont know if it caught the attention of the Nobel committee.

It didn't, because they voted for Obama like 6 months ago.


BUT, as to your point, maybe by NOT pissing the Chinese off, Obama can talk to them about making improvements in Tibet.

You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
 
2009-10-09 05:04:32 PM
zappadog: Its not like Obama petitioned and ran for this honor. He was given it.

a few things that are good.

1. It gives the US nice diplomatic cred.
2. It gives honor back to the office.
3. It will bring parties to the table in the future and make it more difficult to say not to him.

The reaction to this is not surprising, when this should be a great day and honor for our country, there are people who for purely political reasons, will take down someone purely out of spite. The honor and dignity of the office are being restored around the world and some of you just want to biatch.

Let the man and the country have his moment.


NO but he probably nominated himself!!!!!Or was it ACORN!
 
2009-10-09 05:05:40 PM
marsgwar: zappadog:
3. It will bring parties to the table in the future and make it more difficult to say not to him.


Explain that point.


A "not" joke is when we're trying to make fun of something. And what we do is make a statement that we pretend is true, but at the end we say "Not!" which means it's not true.
 
2009-10-09 05:11:24 PM
The best I've heard was a man from Kenya saying "This shows all Kenyans that we can all be leaders for peace.." or some such crap(would have you guessed Fox News?).

But WTF (new window) said it better.
 
2009-10-09 05:12:03 PM
vernonFL: It didn't, because they voted for Obama like 6 months ago.

I presume the Nobel Prizes aren't done similar with the Emmy Awards with cut-off dates to be considered for that year; unless the voting itself truly occurred six months prior and they needed to wait 6-8 months for delivery...
 
2009-10-09 05:12:06 PM
Vangor: mekki: Honestly, why is it so hard for conservatives to actually come up with jokes? I can see a few of them not being funny but time and time again, they are all horribly not witty or humorous. Why is that?

Posted in the other thread, relevant here too :


This is what that list made me think of as well.
 
2009-10-09 05:12:32 PM
Rio was in close second.
 
2009-10-09 05:15:51 PM
I was wondering what other awards he might get:

1) A super bowl ring
2) Kentucky Derby Triple Crown
 
2009-10-09 05:19:41 PM
Phony_Soldier: I was wondering what other awards he might get:

1) A super bowl ring
2) Kentucky Derby Triple Crown



An honorary bowling trophy from the Special Olympics ??
 
2009-10-09 05:20:02 PM
Rockdrummer: In 20012, he'll pack up all his trophys and awards and hymns and praises and platitudes and go home, still not having accomplished a damn thins except putting this country farther in debt. There's probably an award for that too.

well, he'll have been a 4501 term president, so he'll have that, dumbass.
 
2009-10-09 05:20:56 PM
zappadog: Its not like Obama petitioned and ran for this honor. He was given it.

a few things that are good.

1. It gives the US nice diplomatic cred.
2. It gives honor back to the office.
3. It will bring parties to the table in the future and make it more difficult to say not to him.

The reaction to this is not surprising, when this should be a great day and honor for our country, there are people who for purely political reasons, will take down someone purely out of spite. The honor and dignity of the office are being restored around the world and some of you just want to biatch.

Let the man and the country have his moment.


You forget, the day two young American female hostages were set free was a black day for these flipdicks.
 
2009-10-09 05:21:53 PM
PascalsGhost: zappadog: Its not like Obama petitioned and ran for this honor. He was given it.

a few things that are good.

1. It gives the US nice diplomatic cred.
2. It gives honor back to the office.
3. It will bring parties to the table in the future and make it more difficult to say not to him.

The reaction to this is not surprising, when this should be a great day and honor for our country, there are people who for purely political reasons, will take down someone purely out of spite. The honor and dignity of the office are being restored around the world and some of you just want to biatch.

Let the man and the country have his moment.

You forget, the day two young American female hostages prisoners were set free was a black day for these flipdicks.


FTFY
 
2009-10-09 05:21:57 PM
vernonFL: You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Actually, that's not true. Vinegar - especially red wine or cider vinegar - is an excellent attractant for flying pests.

I agree with your substantive point. It's just that I've devoted my life to the fight against Big Honey.
 
2009-10-09 05:24:40 PM
The_Six_Fingered_Man: PascalsGhost: zappadog: Its not like Obama petitioned and ran for this honor. He was given it.

a few things that are good.

1. It gives the US nice diplomatic cred.
2. It gives honor back to the office.
3. It will bring parties to the table in the future and make it more difficult to say not to him.

The reaction to this is not surprising, when this should be a great day and honor for our country, there are people who for purely political reasons, will take down someone purely out of spite. The honor and dignity of the office are being restored around the world and some of you just want to biatch.

Let the man and the country have his moment.

You forget, the day two young American female hostages prisoners were set free was a black day for these flipdicks.

FTFY


Ah, yes, I see. That does make all the difference. They were taken and held in a dictatorship with no legal rights, but as prisoners.

So I now understand. They deserved it. Seriously, if you weren't happy for them and your country that day, you need to kill yourself.
 
2009-10-09 05:24:47 PM
BMulligan: vernonFL: You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Actually, that's not true. Vinegar - especially red wine or cider vinegar - is an excellent attractant for flying pests.

I agree with your substantive point. It's just that I've devoted my life to the fight against Big Honey.



Only a hillbilly sits around figuring out the best way to catch flies.
 
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