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(Curtains Jesus)   Today's image of Jesus in someone's curtains is brought to you by Bishopville, SC   (wtsp.com) divider line 132
    More: Spiffy  
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10759 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Oct 2009 at 1:38 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-10-08 12:16:49 PM
I'm of the opinion that local news agencies should continue to be permitted to run these "Jesus Spotted In..." stories, but only after paying a Stupidity Blood Tax of one producer and one reporter, who be able to choose between caning, quartering, stoning, or catapulting as their Pay-Per-View sponsored execution.
 
2009-10-08 12:22:05 PM
OK, fine, if people want to see Jeebus in stains, roots, rocks with some vague anthropomorphism I get that. They're still farking crazy, but I get that. This, this is some wrinkles in a curtain this person needs to be removed from the gene pool...to be on the safe side, let's remove her entire family from the gene pool, it's the only way to be sure.

/poster is not advocating death, just restricting any reproductive activity. If she sells the curtains on eBay and someone BUYS them...that is person we kill.
 
2009-10-08 12:38:42 PM
Kill everyone.

And some people say I'm too soft.

/poster is advocating death for all.
 
2009-10-08 01:38:35 PM
nice myspace page
 
2009-10-08 01:40:09 PM
There's Mexicans in South Carolina?
 
2009-10-08 01:41:10 PM
I see Jesus in her meat curtains.
 
2009-10-08 01:42:09 PM
Found this on my toast this morning...

g-ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2009-10-08 01:42:52 PM
Megain: nice myspace page

Ha!
 
2009-10-08 01:43:00 PM
How does she know it's Jesus and not some other mustached guy?

Personally, I think it's a sign. It's a sign she needs to iron her damn curtains.
 
2009-10-08 01:45:21 PM
palelizard: It's a sign she needs to iron her damn curtains.

I see you've already covered that, wonder what would happen if she washed the curtains...
 
2009-10-08 01:45:41 PM
I hate to have to say this, but it was curtains for Jesus about 1,980 years ago.
 
2009-10-08 01:45:45 PM
This is the worst one yet.
 
2009-10-08 01:47:15 PM
Don't you mean dRAPEs, submitter?
 
2009-10-08 01:47:36 PM
palelizard: How does she know it's Jesus and not some other mustached guy?

Personally, I think it's a sign. It's a sign she needs to iron her damn curtains.


This. I see Zeus in that pic of her curtains. Maybe it's a sign after all, that she's on the wrong team.
 
2009-10-08 01:47:43 PM
FTA: She's not too worried people will think she's crazy. "Only thing I can say to them is you better stop thinking it's crazy, and believe in God because God is for real. As long as you're doing the right thing, and living right by God, God will show up."

I've wondered if crazy people actually give a shiat if anyone perceives them as crazy. Because it seems to me that if you're yelling at people on a street corner or telling news agencies about Jesus living in your window coverings, then you're no longer all that concerned about what the average joe thinks of you.
 
2009-10-08 01:48:29 PM
Curtain Jesus is watching you cook.
 
2009-10-08 01:49:10 PM
sittingnow.co.uk

Picture of my toast from this morning. What is the dark lord telling me?

/where is the news crew?
 
2009-10-08 01:50:05 PM
download.gannett.edgesuite.net
When I twist this in my head to look like a face at all, It makes my think of ghengis khan.

www.logoi.com
 
2009-10-08 01:50:09 PM
Barbara swears the outline didn't always exist. "That was not on there before, I know my curtain, I know my kitchen."


because fabric is solid, static, and never moves or changes shape. *facepalm*


/Can we please just stop with the stupid? Please?
 
2009-10-08 01:50:51 PM
That curtain has a certain middle eastern jewy flair about it...wait, what's that? JESUS!
 
2009-10-08 01:50:55 PM
jynxyu: I see you've already covered that, wonder what would happen if she washed the curtains...

If they get wet, it's not Jesus. He could walk on water.

feanturi: This. I see Zeus in that pic of her curtains. Maybe it's a sign after all, that she's on the wrong team.

Mighty Thor is displeased by your heathen ways. Thou Shalt Not Worship the Wrong Thunder God!
 
2009-10-08 01:51:19 PM
icanhazstapler: curtains for Jesus

He died in 1970.
I was at the funeral.
Ironically, at the wake, we ran out of wine.
 
2009-10-08 01:51:39 PM
jynxyu: palelizard: It's a sign she needs to iron her damn curtains.

I see you've already covered that, wonder what would happen if she washed the curtains...


Are you mad? She can never wash them.
For some reason this reminded me of that horror flick "Jesus Camp".
 
2009-10-08 01:51:52 PM
where is the dog butt hole picture?
 
2009-10-08 01:53:13 PM
APPROVES
http://tinyurl.com/yaa3ou2
(copy and paste)
 
2009-10-08 01:54:35 PM
AbbeySomeone: Are you mad?

I should introduce you my litter mate, you might know him already... the Cheshire Cat.
 
2009-10-08 01:54:43 PM
What Jesus may look like (Warning, irreverent)
 
2009-10-08 01:56:00 PM
Yep, I totally see it.
 
2009-10-08 01:56:47 PM
my.stratos.net

Box 'O Jesus
 
2009-10-08 01:57:33 PM
Since when did Jesus have a handlebar mustache? Looks more like a biker. But if I had to pick a religious person I would have to say thats Santa Claus.
 
2009-10-08 01:58:02 PM
jynxyu: AbbeySomeone: Are you mad?

I should introduce you my litter mate, you might know him already... the Cheshire Cat.


Wow, at first I read that as little mate.

/wink
 
2009-10-08 01:58:07 PM
joelris: where is the dog butt hole picture?
This is only a sentence on Fark.
 
2009-10-08 02:00:46 PM
Boy, god sure has fallen a long way since the days of fire in the sky and thundering commands...maybe god needs some holy viagra?
 
2009-10-08 02:01:39 PM
I think subby should have used the "spliffy" tag instead of "spiffy".

AbbeySomeone

Jesus Camp scared the shiat out of me.

Luckily, I had been constipated due to opiate abuse.

Some damn casino bought the poop when I sent them a picture of it with the faces of Jesus and Mary made out of corn and peanuts.

It think they were making out...
 
2009-10-08 02:02:15 PM
joelris: where is the dog butt hole picture?

This one?

www.jonco48.com
 
2009-10-08 02:02:35 PM
It's Frank Zappa.

/they live by a co-o-o-o-o-de, that is usually SMPTE
//which stands for Society of Motion Picture and Television Engineers.
 
2009-10-08 02:02:46 PM
Megain: nice myspace page

No thank you....we're all stocked up on crazy here.
 
2009-10-08 02:03:47 PM
FTA: "She'll never forget the June day she believes Jesus came."

So her eyes have seen the glory of the cumming of the Lord?

gorgor, you're up.
 
2009-10-08 02:04:11 PM
Jebus Slaves: I think subby should have used the "spliffy" tag instead of "spiffy".

AbbeySomeone

Jesus Camp scared the shiat out of me.

Luckily, I had been constipated due to opiate abuse.

Some damn casino bought the poop when I sent them a picture of it with the faces of Jesus and Mary made out of corn and peanuts.

It think they were making out...


I am NOT eating their buffets again.
 
2009-10-08 02:04:23 PM
On behalf of SC I would just like to...

say neiner neiner we got the jebus.
 
2009-10-08 02:07:02 PM
oh for fark's sake...let's say, for argument, that jesus/god/whatever deity really existed. do these people not think it's got any goddamn better things to do than appear to pissants in wood grain, curtains, burnt toast, etc?farking morons.
 
2009-10-08 02:07:03 PM
Krymson Tyde: FTA: "She'll never forget the June day she believes Jesus came."

So her eyes have seen the glory of the cumming of the Lord?

gorgor, you're up.


Right.
http://tinyurl.com/yem237v
(copy and paste, NSFW)
 
2009-10-08 02:07:14 PM
Greil: When I twist this in my head to look like a face at all, It makes my think of ghengis khan.

I see an old Goose Gossage:

www.crumpled.com
 
2009-10-08 02:08:48 PM
Greil: When I twist this in my head to look like a face at all, It makes my think of ghengis khan.

images.rottentomatoes.com
 
2009-10-08 02:09:06 PM
Krymson Tyde: FTA: "She'll never forget the June day she believes Jesus came."

So her eyes have seen the glory of the cumming of the Lord?

gorgor, you're up.


i447.photobucket.com
 
2009-10-08 02:09:20 PM
I only see Gargamel
 
2009-10-08 02:09:44 PM
I saw Jesus in my curtain on Saturday. Went outside and kicked his ass for peeping.farking gardener!
 
2009-10-08 02:10:20 PM
i46.photobucket.com
 
2009-10-08 02:10:33 PM
What appeared to be the Star of Bethlehem was recently shaped by mildew on my shower curtain. Unfortunately that sector's now entirely covered in mildew. So much for selling it to Golden Palace :(
 
2009-10-08 02:10:38 PM
I'm a big fan of apophenia myself but I don't often see images of Jesus in random patterns. I do see a lot of porn.
 
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