Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Straight Dope)   Can I lose weight by donating blood?   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
•       •       •

10415 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Mar 2003 at 3:58 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

62 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2003-03-14 11:26:26 AM  
This is absolutely the stupidest question I have ever heard. Once more, Fark has shaken my faith in the intelligence of man.
2003-03-14 11:45:24 AM  
DeltaXi65: I prefer to have no faith in humanity. Its easier and I'm not upset when it (frequently) disappoints.
2003-03-14 12:48:27 PM  
If you donate a gallon or two the weight lost is significant.
2003-03-14 03:48:42 PM  
...and does it have to be mine?
2003-03-14 04:04:22 PM
2003-03-14 04:04:36 PM  
I hear frequent ejaculation is great for weight loss. It certainly explains why I weigh a buck 'o five...
2003-03-14 04:05:28 PM  
Yeah, but I've always wondered how much less you actually weigh after going #2. I've just never remembered to weigh myself before and after, I'm usually concentrating on other things...
2003-03-14 04:06:17 PM  
A good early morning dump is also a great instant weight loss option.
2003-03-14 04:06:42 PM  
Blood donation promotes weight loss, and increases the efficacy of alcohol!

--a public service message from the American Red Cross.
2003-03-14 04:08:34 PM  
SherKhan agreed. I call my weight loss program "take a shiat". Works every time.
2003-03-14 04:09:34 PM  
"A pint's a pound, the world around."
2003-03-14 04:12:37 PM  
I like to pee, poo, wack it, drain blood, wrap myself in plastic or heavy sweats and run around to lose.... oh, whoops! I'm trying to gain weight. Can't seem to get above that 140 mark.
2003-03-14 04:14:54 PM  
Of course you can...If you shiat blood, you're sure to lose weight. The same is true with puking blood.

Soon you'll have that skeletal quality that every person with a burning asshole and scarred esaphogus enjoys! Have a cool weekend in the bathroom!
2003-03-14 04:18:07 PM  
And yes, you will lose weight by giving blood. And then get it right back by drinking that orange juice or eating that donut afterwards so you see straight.
2003-03-14 04:18:35 PM  
I hope you're a chick.
2003-03-14 04:21:59 PM  
Jared's 'Plan A' finally revealed!
2003-03-14 04:24:02 PM  
Bloods for chumps. I've evolved.
2003-03-14 04:24:07 PM  
Don't mean to threadjack,

But does anyone else find the two wolves doing it on the X10 ad on the front page just a little strange? Interesting target group, maybe...
2003-03-14 04:27:06 PM  
Donate 4 pints and I bet you lose a lot of weight...
2003-03-14 04:27:07 PM  

"Can I lose weight by donating blood?"

Well, right off the bat, you'd think this could be answered by a woman who has her period every farkin month ! Maybe Cecil should have recommended the guy would be able to lose weif\ght for sure by cutting off a limb every other month.

2003-03-14 04:28:53 PM  
Give blood. Sit in lounge, eat 6 Stella Dora's, 6 Fig Newtons, 2 apple juice, 1 Coke. You'll be down to fighting weight in no time.
2003-03-14 04:30:07 PM  
Can I lose weight donating sperm?
2003-03-14 04:30:15 PM  
My weight loss plan is simple:

I plan on losing a pound a week.

I predict that by February 2006, I will be weightless.
2003-03-14 04:30:38 PM  
I recorded my loss of weight after #2, me and a friend did a clinical research study this weekend, bored out of my mind so I weighed myself all the time, before and after dump was a loss of about half a pound! Yay!
2003-03-14 04:30:50 PM  
If you eat foods high in iron the day before donating blood you can maximize your weight loss as your blood will be heavier. :-)
2003-03-14 04:32:30 PM  
I'm fat - it's Bush's fault.

-just a thought
2003-03-14 04:36:40 PM  
I hear hot, gay anal sex is a great way to burn calories
2003-03-14 04:38:01 PM  
Yes indeed. I love a good leeching.
2003-03-14 04:38:32 PM  
2003-03-14 04:43:19 PM  
You can lose weight by spitting. If you have some sour gum, you can spit 1 pound per hour. These and many more weight-loss tips are to be had at your local high-school wrestling team.
2003-03-14 04:49:20 PM  
I hope this asshat decides to donate 10 pints at once
2003-03-14 04:53:26 PM  
Ubernina from Wisconsin...I see lots of cheese in her fridge, facial hair, spandex spread across distances it was never meant to span and when she walks her ass looks like two rhinos wrestling under a blanket.
2003-03-14 04:54:47 PM  
Weight loss tips - Ex lax, wrap yourself in garbage bags all day, caffine pills (diuretic), and if you must eat something, make it something like lettuce or celery. Both are fiberous enough to make you actually lose weight by eating them.
2003-03-14 04:57:26 PM  
hey... I know a quick way for this guy to lose 25lbs of fat... cut off his head.

2003-03-14 04:58:11 PM  
2003-03-14 04:58:28 PM  
It's alot easier to get drunk after you've given blood. But the hangover is alot worse too. :(
2003-03-14 05:04:10 PM  
Americans are so pathetic. A while back I heard from a guy who reasoned that: (1) beer is cold; (2) when I drink beer, my body warms it up to 98.6 degrees; (3) this burns calories; (4) therefore, drinking beer helps me stay thin. Then there was the genius who argued: (1) fat people carry more weight; (2) carrying more weight means doing more work; (3) work = exercise; (4) therefore, fat = good.

These actually do make sense from a physiological perspective. Fat people have a higher BMR, thus they do burn more calories and fat also cushions organs. A little fat is good. Boobies are made from fat. No fat means no boobies, which would lead to veritable explosion in the kitty population.

Anyway, the point of the story is that when you are buying street love, just make sure that she is a women. Sometimes you may think its a women, but only later learn what the truth is. It really can be a pain in the bum finding out she's a he a little too late.
2003-03-14 05:05:17 PM  
I'm actually bulemic, but unable to make myself puke. So night after night I have to drink myself into a stupor until I heave my guts out and pass out. I'm not an alcholic I have an eating disorder.

2003-03-14 05:08:16 PM  
Hush Cretin.

I need to use that term more often in everyday language.
2003-03-14 05:10:37 PM  
Yep, the bast weight loss plan for this individual is the immediate and total removal of the cranium.
2003-03-14 05:11:35 PM  
Best, even.
2003-03-14 05:14:51 PM  
1/2 a pound for getting rid of some solid waste? That doesn't seem like a lot, you eating a lot of processed foods and meats JoshFromKC?
2003-03-14 05:32:18 PM  
This sounds like a job for Rob at

"How much is inside?"
2003-03-14 05:46:04 PM  
I once did the calculation for the burning of calories due to heating up a cup of ice water to body temperature. As I recall, it was about 2 calories. So cold beer has 3 calories less than warm beer. Not exactly enough to make a difference.
2003-03-14 05:48:50 PM  
You can lose several pounds simply by cutting soft drinks from your diet or cutting an arm from your body.
2003-03-14 06:12:23 PM  
I did the calculation also. I calculated around 49 calories for a 12 oz glass of icewater
2003-03-14 06:15:02 PM  
for those puzzling over Normacil's post, don't forget. When the food industry says "calories", they really mean KILOcalories. 1 "food calorie" = 1000 scientific calories.

2 or 3 sounds a bit off, though.
Let's do the math ourselves, shall we...

1 calorie, scientific definition = the heat necessary to raise 1 gram of water 1 degree celcius. So, drinking my 12 ounces(355 ml) of ice cold (0 Celcius) beer, raising it up to core body temp of ~97F (36C)... 355x36=12,780 SCIENTIFIC calories, or 12.7 food calories. And that's a high estimate, since I don't keep my fridge section at 0. Oooh...whoopdy doo.
2003-03-14 06:17:55 PM  
Note for my calculation, I did not include the possibility that you are eating whole, chunk ice.

That changes matters considerably, and I don't feel like trying to remember how to calculate that.
2003-03-14 06:47:19 PM  
There is some truth to the idea that giving blood burns calories and to the idea that being heavier burns more calories.

First: If you take a shiat, you've only lost the weight of the shiat, since the resultant matter is only discarded when useless to the body. But when you give blood, the body has to regenerate that blood. Regenerating blood takes energy. This energy comes from calories. So you do burn calories as a result of giving blood. But as noted in the article, the calories burned will only come to one pound a year if you donate as quickly as they let you.

Second: If you weigh more, moving your body around takes more energy. More energy means more calories. So if I magically weighed fifty pounds more and maintained my current level of activity, I would burn more calories than I currently do. Assuming that I did not digest more calories, I would eventually come back down to my current weight.

Now assume I maintained my current level of activity, and still digested the same calories per day, but my workload decreased. This might be because I move to the moon or Mars or something that takes less energy to move around. Then I'll gain weight because it takes less energy to haul my ass around.

Similarly, if I magically lost several pounds all of a sudden I would gain them back, to the balance of the physical energy I expend each day and the number of calories I digest.

The problem is that if you gain weight, you are changing the equilibrium. If you "magically" gained fifty pounds, you would eventually work it off. But people don't magically gain or lose weight. Instead, they eat more and exercise less. Gaining weight makes it harder to gain more weight, but this only testifies to how committed some people are to continue gaining weight.

Of course, it's never that simple. Genetics plays a much larger role in obesity than people would like to admit. When was the last time you saw an obese couple have a skinny child? And when was the last time you saw a skinny couple have an obese child?

There are many simple triggers in the body that can be overcome by willpower, but are very difficult to. For example, abnormal or removed thyroid glands can cause the body to "balloon" in size. So you have a person for whom nothing changed but a hormone secreting gland, and that gland made an incredible difference in weight. Would you say that the weight gain is attributable to the glandular problem, or to simple lack of willpower? And it is not difficult at all to imagine how differing genes can result in different levels of various hormones.

The chance of many of these obese people becoming super skinny is about the same as my becoming an olympic swimmer. I could do it, but I simply don't have that willpower in me. Similarly, anyone can lose weight if they have enough willpower, but that willpower is hard to come by.
2003-03-14 07:00:49 PM  
Heh. I demonstrate the above post whenever I hit the cardio room at the gym and watch the "calories burned" indicator on the xtrainer go flying. (I'm trying to lose weight myself. Seem to be stuck at 210. At my setting--Level 15, 65 RPM--I'm cracking 20 calories A MINUTE. Fun. Here's another tip, if you suddenly go on an intensive exercise binge, you will GAIN muscle mass. This will offset fat loss, if all you believe is the scale. Result: the scale drives you insane because the fscker DOES NOT MOVE for a long goddamn time, until your muscles stop building.)
Displayed 50 of 62 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.