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(Washington Times)   The mysterious white powder that the Washington Redskins have been staying away from.....turned out to be the goal line   (washingtontimes.com) divider line 71
    More: Fail, Redskins, Greg Oden, goal line, McCain-Palin, slot machines, playing cards, Jim Zorn, Bart  
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1637 clicks; posted to Sports » on 02 Oct 2009 at 11:28 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-10-02 10:20:16 AM  
Bravo Subby.
 
2009-10-02 10:25:25 AM  
Considering they lost to the farking Lions, the coach should really be worried about his job security.
 
2009-10-02 10:26:41 AM  
BURN!
 
2009-10-02 10:27:16 AM  
members.airsoftcanada.com
 
2009-10-02 10:37:31 AM  
My favorite jokes of this type -- insert whatever team you want of course:

A divorcing couple was having a custody hearing to determine who would get the couple's son. At the hearing the judge put the boy on the stand and said "Who do YOU want to live with?"
The child thought about it and said "Well. I don't want to live with my Dad, because he beats me. But...I don't want to live with my Mom, because SHE beats me sometimes, too. I guess I'll go live with the Washington Redskins, since they can't beat anyone."

(This one is going back a ways, but it's still great)
Did you hear the Redskins are going to hire former LAPD Chief Daryl Gates to coach away games? They figure with him they'll be able to beat people on the road.

And, one shot at my Eagles:
What do you call a Philadelphia Eagle proudly showing off his Super Bowl Ring? You call 911, because he stole it.
 
2009-10-02 10:58:33 AM  
Jim Zorn...the best coach an Eagles fan could ask for.
 
2009-10-02 11:20:15 AM  
To think: there are thousands of rabid WAS fans on a waiting list for tickets... When even a non-fan like me understands how terribly the team's done recently, someone should be worried about getting fired.

Mr. Coffee Nerves: And, one shot at my Eagles:
What do you call a Philadelphia Eagle proudly showing off his Super Bowl Ring? You call 911, because he stole it.


Glorious.
 
2009-10-02 11:31:43 AM  
Back a few years, but I heard that the 'skins hired Linda Lovelace to be the new kicker since she didn't choke on the long ones.
 
2009-10-02 11:36:15 AM  
Mr. Coffee Nerves: What do you call a Philadelphia Eagle proudly showing off his Super Bowl Ring?

Asante.
 
2009-10-02 11:38:15 AM  
PurplePimpSaber: Jim Zorn...the best coach an Eagles fan could ask for

He's undefeated(2-0) against you.
 
2009-10-02 11:38:34 AM  
washington is favored by 7 points over tampa bay this weekend. Even ith leftwitch on the bench (a blessing), i took the damn points
 
2009-10-02 11:39:24 AM  
davidphogan: Considering they lost to the farking Lions, the coach should really be worried about his job security.

He was effectively fired before the start of the season. Snyder is simply waiting until the offseason to hire his replacement.
 
2009-10-02 11:42:41 AM  
Old joke is old.
 
2009-10-02 11:44:05 AM  
The article is about the Redskins defense? Hell, that ain't the problem. Allowed 23, 9, and 19 points so far in their three games. The problem is that the Redskins haven't been able to put 20+ up on the boards in the last year.
 
2009-10-02 11:46:09 AM  
i39.photobucket.com
 
2009-10-02 11:46:55 AM  
Super Chronic: Mr. Coffee Nerves: What do you call a Philadelphia Eagle proudly showing off his Super Bowl Ring?

Asante.


Touche`
 
2009-10-02 11:49:23 AM  
spacechicken170am: PurplePimpSaber: Jim Zorn...the best coach an Eagles fan could ask for

He's undefeated(2-0) against you.


Came to say this. I'm not surprised an eagles fan is to stupid realize they've been p0wned by a horrible coach.

/GO SKINS
 
2009-10-02 11:51:05 AM  
The main problem is that the Skins corners are playing 8 yards off the line of scrimmage when it's 3rd and 5.
 
2009-10-02 11:51:27 AM  
didn't Haynesworth get hurt sacking a QB?
 
2009-10-02 11:51:33 AM  
Quel: The article is about the Redskins defense? Hell, that ain't the problem. Allowed 23, 9, and 19 points so far in their three games. The problem is that the Redskins haven't been able to put 20+ up on the boards in the last year.

Upon furthur review you'd find that the defense can't stop anyone on third down and the other team has the ball 2/3 of the game. The defense is ranked 25th in yards allowed per drive. The defense is not giving the offense good field position or enough oppurtunities. The Jets are getting about 13-14 possesions a game. The redskins are only getting 9. The Redskins offense is moving the ball well but then the red zone play calling is killing them. They are 7th in offensive yards per drive but 26th in points. This means the 2 biggest issues with the redskins are:

1. The defense needs to stop the other team on third down.
2. Zorn needs to call better plays in the red zone(For the love of god stop running left!!!).
 
2009-10-02 11:54:51 AM  
Quel: The article is about the Redskins defense? Hell, that ain't the problem. Allowed 23, 9, and 19 points so far in their three games. The problem is that the Redskins haven't been able to put 20+ up on the boards in the last year.

And to bring some stats: the Redskins have only scored 30+ twice since the start of the 2007 season, and both of those were actually in 2007. So they haven't put up 30 points since Week 16 of the 2007 season, around 20 games or so.

If you look at the Redskins individual statistics, they all seem to be good. Portis put up almost 1,500 yards last year, and Jason Campbell always seems to have an above average QB rating. But that never actually translates to team statistics and points.
 
2009-10-02 11:56:25 AM  
Quel: The article is about the Redskins defense? Hell, that ain't the problem. Allowed 23, 9, and 19 points so far in their three games. The problem is that the Redskins haven't been able to put 20+ up on the boards in the last year.

That's true, but the defense has had issues of its own. They've allowed drives of:

67, 77, 66, 84, 70, 99, 74, 86, and 85 yards.

They're also dead last in the league on 3rd down defense, allowing 1st downs more than 51% of the time.

Not that the Redskins offense is any good, but it's tough to get anything going when you're never on the field.

/Haynesworth is a TOTAL difference-maker
 
2009-10-02 12:01:41 PM  
When Greg Blache visits a casino, he doesn't frequent the high-stakes poker room or the $10 blackjack tables. For him, it's all about the one-armed bandit.

"I'm a slot machine guy - it's a good, mindless way to give your money away," Blache said. "Playing cards takes too much concentration."


Holy. Crap. This ex plains much.
 
2009-10-02 12:03:10 PM  
Forced Perspective: When Greg Blache visits a casino, he doesn't frequent the high-stakes poker room or the $10 blackjack tables. For him, it's all about the one-armed bandit.

"I'm a slot machine guy - it's a good, mindless way to give your money away," Blache said. "Playing cards takes too much concentration."

Holy. Crap. This ex plains much.


NO kidding.
 
2009-10-02 12:09:15 PM  
ihatedumbpeople: Forced Perspective: When Greg Blache visits a casino, he doesn't frequent the high-stakes poker room or the $10 blackjack tables. For him, it's all about the one-armed bandit.

"I'm a slot machine guy - it's a good, mindless way to give your money away," Blache said. "Playing cards takes too much concentration."

Holy. Crap. This ex plains much.

NO kidding.


The Junkies on the Fan ate his lunch over that comment this morning...
 
2009-10-02 12:10:12 PM  
Yanks_RSJ: Quel: The article is about the Redskins defense? Hell, that ain't the problem. Allowed 23, 9, and 19 points so far in their three games. The problem is that the Redskins haven't been able to put 20+ up on the boards in the last year.

That's true, but the defense has had issues of its own. They've allowed drives of:

67, 77, 66, 84, 70, 99, 74, 86, and 85 yards.

They're also dead last in the league on 3rd down defense, allowing 1st downs more than 51% of the time.

Not that the Redskins offense is any good, but it's tough to get anything going when you're never on the field.

/Haynesworth is a TOTAL difference-maker


This is true except for the part about Haynesworth. He's the only thing keeping us from getting blown out. He has 2 sacks so far this season. That's more than all our defenses ends combined. There's a lot of blame to go aorund but very little should be assigned to Haynesworth. He missed a few gap assignments against Kevin Smith but that's it.

Fred Smoot is getting burned.
DHall is getting burned and not tackling well.
Laron Landry is not tackling well.
Chris Horton has been out of position.
Carlos Rogers got burned but he had an ankle sprain.
Andre Carter has been invisible.

Blache has neutered the defense and is afraid to send pressure on third down. They don't blitz enough and the CBs are playing 8 yards off the WRs on third and freakin 5. People want to blame the offense and more specifically Jason Campbell for not scoring more but the cold hard truth is this:

Campbell was projected as a mid second rounder. He's supposed to be mediocre. He is playing a little above expectation. The Redskins have invested 4 out of their last 5 first round draft picks and about a quarter billion dollars in free agency into their defense. The defense needs to dominate.
 
2009-10-02 12:13:06 PM  
Yanks_RSJ: /Haynesworth is a TOTAL difference-maker

This is why the Giants' aversion to signing name free agents makes me happy. Who's the biggest name free-agent to be a difference maker on a team? Has there been one in the last ten years?
 
2009-10-02 12:16:39 PM  
spacechicken170am: Campbell was projected as a mid second rounder. He's supposed to be mediocre.

That may be true, but the Redskins traded three picks to move into the first round to draft him. It's not fair to Campbell that Gibbs & Co. were stupid enough to do that, but there ya go.
 
2009-10-02 12:18:00 PM  
props to subby for making me laugh on this crappy day.
 
2009-10-02 12:18:07 PM  
Daniels: Yanks_RSJ: /Haynesworth is a TOTAL difference-maker

This is why the Giants' aversion to signing name free agents makes me happy. Who's the biggest name free-agent to be a difference maker on a team? Has there been one in the last ten years?


Your aversion? You guys offered him $80 million. It wasn't your averison to signing big name free agents it was that you simply got outbid by us and the bucs.
 
2009-10-02 12:19:19 PM  
Daniels: This is why the Giants' aversion to signing name free agents makes me happy. Who's the biggest name free-agent to be a difference maker on a team? Has there been one in the last ten years?

In fairness, they would have been interested in signing Haynesworth, just not for $40 million guaranteed money.

I would say Pierce is the biggest name free agent they've signed in that time, and he's not exactly a big name.

Plaxico Burress is also on that list, but he was signed relatively cheaply since the Steelers couldn't wait to get rid of him.
 
2009-10-02 12:27:46 PM  
They may need to gut the team and start over. There's too much talent on that team to play so poorly. It's an attitude that's infested the organization.
 
2009-10-02 12:44:58 PM  
Fark Griswald: They may need to gut the team and start over. There's too much talent on that team to play so poorly. It's an attitude that's infested the organization.

I think blitzing on third down and throwing the ball to the tall guy in the red zone will be far more effective then blowing it up and starting all over.
 
2009-10-02 12:57:02 PM  
spacechicken170am: Fark Griswald: They may need to gut the team and start over. There's too much talent on that team to play so poorly. It's an attitude that's infested the organization.

I think blitzing on third down and throwing the ball to the tall guy in the red zone will be far more effective then blowing it up and starting all over.


Yeah, this, and maybe Campbell could do a bootleg right with a tight end as an option to throw to - would have scored two times this year if they'd done that. I don't recall ever seeking Campbell do a bootleg - do you?
 
2009-10-02 01:14:07 PM  
PurplePimpSaber: Jim Zorn...the best coach an Eagles fan could ask for.

It has already been pointed out just how f*cking stupid this comment is, but I wanted to reiterate that in two games last season, Zorn first: spotted the Eagles 14 points and went on to win by 6; and second: held the Eagles to 3 points, after they'd been averaging over 30 ppg for the prior three games of their playoff run. So unless Eagles fans are masochists - we know they're thugs and morons, so it's not beyond belief - they should not be "asking for" Jim Zorn.
 
2009-10-02 01:16:33 PM  
kronicfeld: It has already been pointed out just how f*cking stupid this comment is, but I wanted to reiterate that in two games last season, Zorn first: spotted the Eagles 14 points and went on to win by 6; and second: held the Eagles to 3 points, after they'd been averaging over 30 ppg for the prior three games of their playoff run. So unless Eagles fans are masochists - we know they're thugs and morons, so it's not beyond belief - they should not be "asking for" Jim Zorn.

Fine. Jim Zorn, the best coach a Giants or Lions fan could ask for.
 
2009-10-02 01:16:57 PM  
I'm fairly certain Campbell bootlegged to Cooley a lot when Gibbs was coaching. Only problem was that Gibbs ran that play, screen to Portis, and up the gut over and over again. It was a tad predictable.
 
2009-10-02 01:17:26 PM  
To their credit, they tear it up on offense between the 20's, then they hit the brakes and run it with Portis to the left, maybe they throw a fade to "Kelly Malcolm" that's about a yard or two out of bounds.
 
2009-10-02 01:21:52 PM  
Yanks_RSJ: kronicfeld: It has already been pointed out just how f*cking stupid this comment is, but I wanted to reiterate that in two games last season, Zorn first: spotted the Eagles 14 points and went on to win by 6; and second: held the Eagles to 3 points, after they'd been averaging over 30 ppg for the prior three games of their playoff run. So unless Eagles fans are masochists - we know they're thugs and morons, so it's not beyond belief - they should not be "asking for" Jim Zorn.

Fine. Jim Zorn, the best coach a Giants or Lions fan could ask for.


That I cannot dispute.
 
2009-10-02 01:22:37 PM  
Deeznutz: To their credit, they tear it up on offense between the 20's, then they hit the brakes and run it with Portis to the left, maybe they throw a fade to "Kelly Malcolm" that's about a yard or two out of bounds.

Or a bubble screen to "Santonio Moss."
 
2009-10-02 01:27:23 PM  
Old joke is old...This was around when the Anthrax scare happened and it was about the Jets.
 
2009-10-02 01:28:13 PM  
Daniels: Yanks_RSJ: /Haynesworth is a TOTAL difference-maker

This is why the Giants' aversion to signing name free agents makes me happy. Who's the biggest name free-agent to be a difference maker on a team? Has there been one in the last ten years?


Drew Brees?
 
2009-10-02 01:28:59 PM  
The Redskins will think they are world beaters after playing the Buccaneers this week.

Hey Hey Tampa Bay!
 
2009-10-02 01:31:08 PM  
Also Gibbs, please give your HOF bust back.
 
2009-10-02 01:32:29 PM  
Daniels: This is why the Giants' aversion to signing name free agents makes me happy. Who's the biggest name free-agent to be a difference maker on a team? Has there been one in the last ten years?

Well, Plax to the Giants was kind of important, although they didn't exactly break the bank on him.

Drew Brees to the Saints is probably the biggest of the last decade.
 
2009-10-02 01:32:41 PM  
dhudd: spacechicken170am: Fark Griswald: They may need to gut the team and start over. There's too much talent on that team to play so poorly. It's an attitude that's infested the organization.

I think blitzing on third down and throwing the ball to the tall guy in the red zone will be far more effective then blowing it up and starting all over.

Yeah, this, and maybe Campbell could do a bootleg right with a tight end as an option to throw to - would have scored two times this year if they'd done that. I don't recall ever seeking Campbell do a bootleg - do you?


A bootleg? I haven't seen them do any running to the right whatsoever in the redzone. They threw to Cooley once on the right side but Campbell did that from the pocket. The only running I've seen in the red zone has been a run left. The thing that pisses us off is that when the Rams overloaded the left side we still ran left instead of running a bootleg. Campbell would have walked into the end zone. Supposedly Zorn called that play and Campbell was not allowed to change it. Campbell wanted to do the bootleg but was not allowed. Come to think of it I don't think I've ever seen campbell run a bootleg. He runs a mini bootleg and then passes to Cooley sometimes but I never see him run a naked bootleg. Brunell ran it a couple of times but I don't think Campbell has.
 
2009-10-02 01:33:04 PM  
Oh, and Steve Hutchinson to the Vikings.
 
2009-10-02 01:36:53 PM  
kronicfeld: Deeznutz: To their credit, they tear it up on offense between the 20's, then they hit the brakes and run it with Portis to the left, maybe they throw a fade to "Kelly Malcolm" that's about a yard or two out of bounds.

Or a bubble screen to "Santonio Moss."


Sometimes we do hit "Anquan Randle El" out of the slot down there.
 
2009-10-02 01:37:48 PM  
old joke is old
 
2009-10-02 02:02:18 PM  
kronicfeld: Daniels: This is why the Giants' aversion to signing name free agents makes me happy. Who's the biggest name free-agent to be a difference maker on a team? Has there been one in the last ten years?

Well, Plax to the Giants was kind of important, although they didn't exactly break the bank on him.

Drew Brees to the Saints is probably the biggest of the last decade.


The Seahawks had two that worked out great for them, at least initially: Julian Peterson and Patrick Kerney.

Adalius Thomas, Asante Samuel and Antoine Winfield have also been splashy, high-priced free agents who have done well. Pretty soon I may put Bart Scott in that category, too.
 
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