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(Washington Post)   Michigan "performance artists" duct tape objects to themselves, chant in front of U.S. Capitol. Turns out Capitol police don't know art when they see it, arrest couple   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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4893 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2003 at 2:22 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

72 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-03-13 09:54:17 AM  
Err...Don't send this to the front page, it's a repeat.

2003-03-13 09:57:35 AM  
This is yet the next episode of "mouthbreathers with badges". Get a couple of brown people behaving unusually, and it's handcuff time.

"Olaniyi and Patel have been charged with interstate transportation of an explosive device"

Anyone know a decent lawyer? I smell trumped-up charges. I'd love to know how you establish guilt for that charge if THERE ISN'T ANY EXPLOSIVE DEVICE! I mean, if the FBI "decides" that my sock is a chemical weapon (not too far off, probably), can they convict me even though I'm not threatening anyone?
2003-03-13 10:10:32 AM  
I'm experiencing deja vu...
2003-03-13 12:25:03 PM  
> 10 print "Repeat!"
> 20 goto 10
> run
2003-03-13 02:28:50 PM  
Police initially said that one of the glass jars strapped to Olaniyi's body contained a clear liquid. But he said all the jars were empty, and authorities yesterday acknowledged that the first report was erroneous.

Funny how they make stuff up to justify their actions. They had initially said the clear liquid was some sort of explosive/combustible material.
2003-03-13 02:29:41 PM  

cmon. You just cant do certain stuff in front of the capitol. obviously.
2003-03-13 02:31:13 PM  
'Then he began to cry.
"I've never been arrested. What the police saw was a black man with a mask and duct tape and their interpretation was fear," he sobbed. "It was meant to be metaphorical."'

Ha ha, art fag!
2003-03-13 02:31:27 PM  
Zenmaster: I'm assuming that it's similar in intent to committing a crime with a toy gun. It carries the same penalty. That's not to say I think it's an appropriate charge -- I'm just sayin' s'all.
2003-03-13 02:33:04 PM  
Shouldn't this have a "FOLLW UP" tag?

I may not know much about art, but I know what I like.
2003-03-13 02:33:10 PM  
I wish they'd ducttape themselves to some cinderblocks and do some synchronized swimming. THAT'D BE ART!
2003-03-13 02:34:37 PM  
Heir Bush doesn't tolerate mockery in his Reich -- especially in his backyard.

It's interesting that they are being charged with transporting explosives. Apparently the cops who busted them obviously didn't think they were suicide bombers given that they walked up to the pair and cuffed them.
2003-03-13 02:34:40 PM  

**sigh** This must be the end of the world I'm sure. Or do we first have to wait for W. Bush to declare whether Oceana is at war with Eurasia or Eastasia ?

I hope the ratcage doesn't hurt my face too much.

2003-03-13 02:34:44 PM  
Them lousy raghead furriners oughta know by now that we no longer operate under the First Amendment. Serves 'em right!

Now one ah you Farkettes get me a brewski. Murica's Most Wanted is on...

2003-03-13 02:35:02 PM  
"I'm assuming that it's similar in intent to committing a crime with a toy gun"

Sure, like a nerf gun...
2003-03-13 02:36:14 PM  
Of COURSE they're from Ann Arbor...

(runs and hides...)
2003-03-13 02:36:28 PM  
I think the issue is whether he intended his creation to look like a bomb.

It is sounding like maybe not.

I feel sorry for him.
2003-03-13 02:37:19 PM  

It was in front of the Michigan Capitol building. Not in D.C.
2003-03-13 02:38:33 PM  
I think they won't be convicted, but seriously... You just act all weird right now in a country full of paranoid people. If I was a citizen there I'd appriciate the cops erring on the side of caution. Although I do think the charges should've been dropped immediately after determining there was nothing harmful about the couple.

A simple solution: If you want to do something off the mark like this, just call the authorities to let them know. Saves time and money.
2003-03-13 02:40:17 PM  
It was in front of the Michigan Capitol building. Not in D.C.

2003-03-13 02:40:29 PM  
It was in front of the Michigan Capitol building. Not in D.C.

Good lord, the Reich is expanding!
2003-03-13 02:40:35 PM  
For my next piece of "performance art" I am going to run into a bank with a squirt gun and demand money. When arrested I will say that it was a performance designed to evoke the futility of violence and the war in Iraq.
2003-03-13 02:41:24 PM  
How many times do I have to tell you peasants, your civil liberties are being removed for the security of the American people.

In addition, duct tape has been declared a Weapon of Terra, since Saddam is using it to hold his drones together. The possession of duct tape by these two evil-doers made them terrorists, and they were treated as such.
2003-03-13 02:42:04 PM  
I still think they're asshats.
2003-03-13 02:42:20 PM  
Hey, MikeWeath, like I said, I don't necessarily agree with it the reasoning, but I follow it.

Somewhere between impulse and self-expression is a thing called "good sense" that's begging to make this couple's acquaintance.
2003-03-13 02:46:06 PM  
The tag here doesn't even come close to illustrating the idiocy of these "artists".

Then again I spent most of the 90's doing performance art so maybe I am the DUMBASS.
2003-03-13 02:46:34 PM  
Stupid Gypsies.
2003-03-13 02:47:18 PM  

I meant to finish that thought. Honestly.

What I was trying to say is that isn't wasn't in Bush's backyard (see GimpRulez's comment), rather it was in Granholm's. (MI governor)

Either way, I forgot to add the rest of my thought.
2003-03-13 02:47:33 PM  
Damn our country for not respecting the idiotic waste of entitlement money that these people make their living off of! The cops were wrong for ending a display that had the potential to scare hundreds of people or causing harm to the artists! Our country is teh suX0rz for not allowing attention grabbing dimwits to express pointless opinions in public!
How many of you actually care what these people were trying to demonstrate?

Reminds me of this:
[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-13 02:47:46 PM  
Performance art
I'm the king
So grab a hammer
Nail me to something
Let's go
To the park and maybe eat a fur coat.

Spray me with blood
And write
The word "guilt" all over my face
Hurry up
I'm the King of Performance Art!

Let's go to the park
I'll eat one hundred apples
While you burn
My feet
Until I scream and people gather around!

Performance art
Is my gig
I'll stab myself while you
squeal like a pig
Can work the crowd and pass out literature.

The critics won't
No one will, they're programmed
by the Man
So lets, take these mannequin parts down to the park.

Performance art...
Oh we're so f**ing dark!
Performance art...
Oh, we're so f***ing dark!

Performance art... performance art!

/sifl and olly
2003-03-13 02:50:07 PM  
And, then I re-read the article, and realize that I totally made an ass out of myself. Sorry, one and all, for that confusing array of misinformed comments.

The protest WAS in front of the US capitol.

/shakes head in shame and humility.
2003-03-13 02:50:19 PM  
On March 6, Patel, 22, and Olabayo Olaniyi, 32, were chanting and dancing inside the Capitol when police noticed their strange costumes,

the Capitol?

His parents are well-known artists in his native Nigeria.

Yeah: CON artists. They keep sending me f*cking email, trying to move $25 million into my bank account.
2003-03-13 02:50:23 PM  
Somewhere between impulse and self-expression is a thing called "good sense" that's begging to make this couple's acquaintance.

I discourage this so-called "good sense" in my imperial police force. If they had exercised "good sense" these two terrorists would never have been captured.
2003-03-13 02:51:49 PM  
Big deal, so the price of Liberty is a police state.
2003-03-13 02:52:34 PM  
Yeah, farkers.. anyone who doesn't share your view of what art is should be locked up for years if they're misunderstood, regardless of any facts, because your brain case is too small to comprehend anything outside of reality TV and pop divas fed to you by AOL/TW...

fark all, where are we when we go around arresting street performers - AT ALL - LET ALONE CHARGING THEM WITH CRIMES?! Can anyone WAKE THE fark UP AND SMELL THE FASCISM?!
2003-03-13 02:53:14 PM  
Too farking funny.
2003-03-13 02:54:33 PM  
In 1998, I played in the Cincinnati Conservatory's freshman trumpet ensemble. We went to the National Trumpet Competition in Washington, and took first place in the ensemble competition. We spent the next day touring the DC area, and when we got to the capitol, we thought it would be really cool and celebratory to get our horns out (yeah, we had 'em with us) and play our competition piece on the steps out front. We were about 16 bars in when we were asked by nice men in suits to please desist on pain of arrest.

You don't even care, do you?
2003-03-13 02:56:42 PM  
I'm sorry, this is the only thing I could think of when I read that article...I watch too many movies.

Patel? Fark you. Farkin' Shiva handed him a million dollars, told him "sign the deal," he wouldn't sign. And Vishnu, too. Into the bargain. Fark that, John. You know your business, I know mine. Your business is being an arsehole, and I find out whose farking cousin you are, I'm going to go to him and figure out a way to have your arse...fark you--I'll wait for the new leads.
2003-03-13 02:57:09 PM  
He sobbed? Oh come on man, if you have enough nerve to go around dancing and performing in a duct-tape vest and ceramic face mask in front of the capitol, at least have the nuts to not SOB when someone misinterprets your work.
2003-03-13 02:57:41 PM  
, as said before, this should have a followup tag. Asshat submitter....

2nd, it WAS in Washington DC. The article says "U.S. Capitol." Learn to read the article all the way through.

3rd, as I said the first time this was posted. With the state of constant paranoia this country is in:

You people that think what these people did was ok, you go wrap various items in duct tape, walk into a SECURED GOVERMENT BUILDING, and start dancing around like idiots and calling attention to yourselves. Quicker than you can say "Donut's anyone?," you're gonna have a dozen cops all over your ass. These people were stupid, and deserve the charge they get. This was probably just a bad decision on their part, but you gotta be smart about this stuff folks.

4th, all the federal weapon (bombs, guns, knives, etc) and drug laws include statutory provisions for look-alike objects that are presented in a way that any normal person cannot tell what they are, or presented as being what they look like. So the explosive device charge is probably going to stick. Deal with it, it's the law. You want it changed, write your congressman, don't engage in mental masturbation and biatch about it here.

5th, for those of you who don't understand mental masturbation -

mental masturbate, (n.), to engange in thought speach, or other communication with another person solely for your own self-gratification or self-empowerment.
2003-03-13 03:00:19 PM  
Alto- no.

But we do care about SoyBomb!!

The look on Dylans' face was classic.
2003-03-13 03:01:06 PM  
i say let the artists be president and Vp
2003-03-13 03:01:35 PM  

fark all, where are we when we go around arresting street performers

The article says they were inside the Capitol Building.

You don't "perform" in the Capitol.
2003-03-13 03:01:47 PM  
Big deal, so the price of Liberty is a police state.

No, the price of safety is a police state.

Get it right, plebe.

And don't start quoting Benjamin Franklin at me either. If that guy was so smart, how come he never became President like me? He was probably too busy electrocuting himself with his keys.
2003-03-13 03:01:51 PM  
1. They ARE artsy fartsy.
2. They are asshats.
3. Asshats, still, have rights.
4. The US public is Chickenshà t.
5. Chickenshà t people overreact.
6. Stop being chickenshà t.
7. Overreacting will cease (hopefully).
8. Give me all your money, so i can be dictator!
2003-03-13 03:01:58 PM  

void main(void)
cout << "People that post program statements are NOT witty!"

2003-03-13 03:03:22 PM  
i think it's bullcrap that these folks were's a hint folks: because of the fear-ridden atmosphere of the US these days - don't do ANYTHING slightly weird near (or in) the Capitol. That probably goes for any state capitol, national monument or federal building as well.
2003-03-13 03:03:51 PM  
8. Give me all your money, so i can be dictator!

Sorry, job's taken.
2003-03-13 03:04:36 PM  
Alto - i DO care. i DO. honestly.

and for the last few weeks i've had your handle stuck in my head, sung to the tune of the cookie crisps song. whoever first suggested that it worked well should be dragged out into the street and shot.

oh well...
2003-03-13 03:04:36 PM  
For now on, Art should be defined as something (doesn't matter what it is) that very few people in the world have the ability to do. But it's not competitive, or else it becomes sport.

A Bob Ross painting is art. I could try as hard as I can for the rest of my life, I will never be able to do a painting like that.

Michelangelo's David is art. Who the hell knows how to even carve marble, let alone carve it well.

Two orange stripes on a green background is not art. It is a common skill, that everyone masters by the time they turn 6. That goes as well for a hunk of undiscernible rock.

(note: abstract art still has a place here, so long as it is of a complex nature enough to be challenging for the balance of the human race to duplicate)

As for performance art: The Shaolin Kung-fu is art. Gymnastics is art. People on Ripley's Believe it or Not who impale themselves I guess are, in some freakishly bizarre way, art. But again: art is defined as something you DO. Not something you ARE. So circus sideshow freaks and transformers who have three testicles, you are not artists. Unless you can paint a beautiful sunset or stand on your pinky finger.

Strapping duct tape to yourself and getting fired out of a cannon is not art. Nor is covering yourself with feces and jumping out of an airplane.

Art is really getting stupid. The whole post-modern outlook on life is really bringing the signal-to-noise ratio of Quality in the world down, and we have to put a stop to it.
2003-03-13 03:06:10 PM  
Ben Franklin? Don't you mean Agent 72? The guy who worked for British Intelligence?
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