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(WESH Orlando)   Yeah your grandmother is cool and all, but can she fend off a bear with a decorative pillow?   (wesh.com) divider line 70
    More: Florida, pillows, car doors, grandmothers, ice cream, towels, common cold, hot tubs, Sally Rebehn  
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5391 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Oct 2009 at 5:41 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-10-01 04:00:23 PM
Yes. Not only that, but she once took down a bull elephant with nothing but a slingshot and a selection of highly fragrant decorative soaps. Old Granny Soap-Shooter, we called her.
 
Pud [TotalFark]
2009-10-01 04:52:45 PM
I heard she brought down an airplane with a clapper launched potpourri pouch
 
2009-10-01 04:57:32 PM
My grandmother survived the comfy chair.
 
2009-10-01 05:43:05 PM
PainInTheASP

My grandmother survived the comfy chair.


(shakes tiny fist)
 
2009-10-01 05:43:19 PM
My grandmother was apart of the secret service in the 60's after her military stint in the '50's. She still can't talk about her work without having to kill me. I think she could.

/don't fark with my grandmother.
 
2009-10-01 05:44:31 PM
i37.tinypic.com

I can believe it.
 
2009-10-01 05:45:34 PM
Why would the bear have a pillow?
 
2009-10-01 05:45:51 PM
BEST PILLOWFIGHT EVAR
 
2009-10-01 05:46:03 PM
I don't know, but I'll find out by leaving a trail of honey that leads into her retirement home. That will teach her to only put a five dollar bill in my birthday card.
 
2009-10-01 05:47:16 PM
-1 for subby using a Florida tage where the attck took place in COLORADO.

GO ROCKIES!
 
2009-10-01 05:47:26 PM
She would have nagged it to death, like poor grandfather.
 
2009-10-01 05:47:30 PM
Can she bear many children?
http://tinyurl.com/ydk4bfw
(copy and paste)
/whut?
 
2009-10-01 05:47:39 PM
My grandmother is General George S Patton.
 
2009-10-01 05:47:42 PM
PainInTheASP: My grandmother survived the comfy chair.

Could have been worse you know...

Worse? Worse than crucifixion?
 
2009-10-01 05:48:27 PM
gadian: /don't fark with my grandmother.

[Rimshot goes here]
 
2009-10-01 05:48:28 PM
My grandmother could have stopped that bear just by raising her eyebrow and giving it a Look.

/of course, if the bear wasn't paying attention, she'd jam a boot up his ass and take care of him that way.
 
2009-10-01 05:49:17 PM
"Vail grandmother Sally Rebehn fought off a bear that broke into her bedroom with a decorative pillow."

Those bears are getting crafty...
 
2009-10-01 05:49:17 PM
The DOW eventually tranquilized all of the bears.

"It's called acting. Don't mess with the DOW."
www.sitcomsonline.com
 
2009-10-01 05:50:45 PM
Cornwell: gadian: /don't fark with my grandmother.

[Rimshot goes here]


She'd break it off, boy. I hear she's fiesty.
 
2009-10-01 05:50:53 PM
I always thought my wife was just crazy with all the decorative pillows on the bed and couch. Little did I know she was stocking a weapons cache.
 
2009-10-01 05:51:58 PM
FTA: It's like a real-life version of "Goldilocks and the Three Bears."

Except it wasn't like a real-life version of "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" at all.
 
2009-10-01 05:53:23 PM
Decorative pillows are annoying as hell, but make a nice substitute in a pinch when you need to wipe and don't want to ruin the moment by waddling on your knees over to the drapes.
 
2009-10-01 05:53:50 PM
"Once bears learn they can get food in homes, there's not a lot you can do to keep them from getting into homes," Hampton said. "We have bears that have learned to open car doors and sliding glass doors."

But are they Jewish?

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2009-10-01 05:55:24 PM
Cornwell: gadian: /don't fark with my grandmother.

[Rimshotjob goes here]


Eww.
 
2009-10-01 05:58:40 PM
Somehow the thought of a bear sitting at a kitchen table, eating icecream, would just be funny. He'd look over and me and go 'Sup'
 
2009-10-01 05:59:55 PM
news.nationalgeographic.com
 
2009-10-01 06:00:10 PM
My grandmother is dead. I'm going to go cry a little now.

dont look at me
 
2009-10-01 06:01:18 PM
rebelyell2006: Cornwell: gadian: /don't fark with my grandmother.

[Rimshotjob goes here]

Eww.


You do know that this thread has a confirmed Gorgor-sighting? Would you really like to put the idea of granny rimjobs into his mind?
 
2009-10-01 06:04:22 PM
No, but I have an uncle who can beat off young boys with his bare hands.
 
2009-10-01 06:04:56 PM
Cornwell: You do know that this thread has a confirmed Gorgor-sighting? Would you really like to put the idea of granny rimjobs into his mind?

Who's giving the rimjobs? Granny? The bear? Gorgor?

And who's receiving?
 
2009-10-01 06:05:04 PM
I tried to fight off a San Francisco Bear with a pillow, but it just made him more aggressive.
 
2009-10-01 06:07:00 PM
I've noticed a large surge in the number of bear-related threads at Fark. I wonder why.
 
2009-10-01 06:07:43 PM
skinink: I tried to fight off a San Francisco Bear with a pillow, but it just made him more aggressive.


Try biting the pillow next time, it helps.

(so I've heard)
 
2009-10-01 06:08:40 PM
Maybe if she has all the stuffing down one end.
 
2009-10-01 06:10:54 PM
The kind of horrible knitted abortions my grandmother keeps on her couch would kill a bear let alone scare one away.
 
2009-10-01 06:11:39 PM
img24.imageshack.us

'Shoop de woop? I'm farking Curt Cobain?'

/never forget the classics.
 
2009-10-01 06:17:37 PM
Did anyone point out that submittard used the FLORIDA tag for something that happened in Vail, Colorado?
 
2009-10-01 06:21:20 PM
vossiewulf
Yes. Not only that, but she once took down a bull elephant with nothing but a slingshot

That was her bra.
 
2009-10-01 06:22:56 PM
FTFA: "And at that point I ran back upstairs and found a big towel near the hot tub. I thought, 'Okay, I can just wrap the bear in this towel and carry it upstairs and throw it outside," said Hoyt.

cdn.okcimg.com

Approves
 
2009-10-01 06:23:53 PM
regjoe: -1 for subby using a Florida tage where the attck took place in COLORADO.

GO ROCKIES!


blacksho89: Did anyone point out that submittard used the FLORIDA tag for something that happened in Vail, Colorado?

Yes. Clearly the submitter went with the Florida tag because of the news station location and not the news story location.
 
2009-10-01 06:24:24 PM
Yoleus: PainInTheASP: My grandmother survived the comfy chair.

Could have been worse you know...

Worse? Worse than crucifixion?


and neither of you mention the Softy Pillow
 
2009-10-01 06:29:21 PM
Why was local Florida news even reporting on this
 
2009-10-01 06:33:39 PM
RivenSilver: Why was local Florida news even reporting on this

Because it's cool. Little old ladies shooing bears out of their homes are awesome, no matter where in the world it happens.
 
2009-10-01 06:34:05 PM
Came for the Kanye reference, leaving disappointed.
 
2009-10-01 06:34:27 PM
FTA: Two of the cubs were relocated, but the mama and the cub that broke into the home were put down because they showed aggression toward humans.

They're bears. What the shiat do you expect from them? Shoulder massages and hot towel treatments?
 
2009-10-01 06:36:27 PM
"And just as I come around the corner the bear had come out of the back bedroom and it had grown another 300 pounds and two-and-a-half feet and I just look at it and I'm like, 'Oh, this is not gonna work out at all,'"

I lol'd.
 
2009-10-01 06:37:25 PM
NYRBill

and neither of you mention the Softy Pillow


FLUFFY pillow. Fluffy pillow is the correct MP quote.
 
2009-10-01 06:38:57 PM
You know who else was a bear with a decorative pillow?

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2009-10-01 06:43:24 PM
Cornwell: rebelyell2006: Cornwell: gadian: /don't fark with my grandmother.

[Rimshotjob goes here]

Eww.

You do know that this thread has a confirmed Gorgor-sighting? Would you really like to put the idea of granny rimjobs into his mind?


Right, what's all this then?
http://tinyurl.com/y9g9ncq
(copy and paste, NSFW)
 
2009-10-01 07:07:54 PM
bears in Florida? byline: Vail, CO. nevermind.
 
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