Why was he hanging Christmas lights in September?

The video on the linked page makes me want to hit John Romero. What a douchebag.

Why don't you also take a seat over there?

Approves:

What sort of idiot tries to sexually assault a little girl in a Wal-Mart store? Everybody know you're first supposed to lure them back to your basement or into your van. Snickers bars work well. What a moron. He must be a beginner.

Heroes are a meme. Some time ago, some guy argued that people who go to work in mines are heroes. Which is like arguing that pilots who don't crash planes are heroes.

spidermann: Sun God: Heroes are a meme. Some time ago, some guy argued that people who go to work in mines are heroes. Which is like arguing that pilots who don't crash planes are heroes.

We're sorry that all your heroes died, that you'd rather die then fade away.

It's an interesting conception. 95% of military personnel in Iraq have never seen and never will see combat. Are they heroes? The US military spends a lot of money recruiting folks. NASCAR actually has a car sponsored by the US Army (do the folks in Iraq root for that car?) with fancy commercials.

fark yeah

Epsilon: What sort of idiot tries to sexually assault a little girl in a Wal-Mart store? Everybody know you're first supposed to lure them back to your basement or into your van. Snickers bars work well. What a moron. He must be a beginner.

Pedobear? Is that you?

Skylenorman: Why was he hanging Christmas lights in September?

It's hard to drive nails when you're wearing mittens over gloves and your boogers just froze.

peachpicker: Approves:

I went to TFA just to see if his name was Joe.

and the fail tag goes to the perp

And the sad thing is, Wal-mart will probably end up firing him over this, much like they do when employees tackle shoplifters.

Hero sure, but this was an odd statement: "He said he might get an award from police for his actions"

Not that they would award him, but that he would say that

TsukasaK: And the sad thing is, Wal-mart will probably end up firing him over this, much like they do when employees tackle shoplifters.

Came to say this, hopefully it doesn't happen. Sad day and age...

It never occurred to me that the downfall of Walmart would be sheer number of weirdos that shop there. It's like the Costco in Idiocracy. Won't be long before even the pedophiles will be afraid to set foot in there.

mrshowrules: He might be a hero but that photo makes him look like a child molester.

Uh, that is the child molester. Or is my sarcasm meter broken?

ShawnDoc: How long until Walmart fires him for exposing them to liability in case he was wrong?

My cynical side agrees with you, but the rest of me says it's not gonna happen. We saw the guy get fired from Home Depot (?maybe? wherever the hell it was) because he chased down a guy who'd stolen a lady's purse, IIRC. When it's just a purse, dude, let it go. We're talking about saving a child--possibly saving her life-- here, and somehow I think even Walmart won't want to be caught saying, "F*ck the kid, we coulda been SUED!"

By the way, where the hell were the parents?

PsyRat: mrshowrules: He might be a hero but that photo makes him look like a child molester.

Uh, that is the child molester. Or is my sarcasm meter broken?

Yup

"Aulner has been in a wheelchair since he fell from a roof while hanging up Christmas lights, he told the station. He said he might get an award from police for his actions."

... right after he's fired for violating policy, his workers comp is revoked, his cat is killed and hung from his porch using the Christmas lights, the disability hearing is canceled, he's sued...

/no good deed goes unpunished
//bless his soul

Tsunami Ditka: By the way, where the hell were the parents?

Parents probably dropped the kids off in the video game department, also known as the daycare center for lazy parents.

Good job, dude.

mrshowrules: He might be a hero but that photo makes him look like a child molester.

I laughed way too much at this.

Good on this guy. Maybe the perp receive many ass-poundings.

maybe I am behind on my molestation principles ...but what exactly could you possibly molest from someone in a Walmart?

Uh guys, he doesn't work for Walmart, he works for Comcast. RIF, remember? I know because that's the Walmart I shop at and I see him all the time.

Sun God: spidermann: Sun God: Heroes are a meme. Some time ago, some guy argued that people who go to work in mines are heroes. Which is like arguing that pilots who don't crash planes are heroes.

We're sorry that all your heroes died, that you'd rather die then fade away.

It's an interesting conception. 95% of military personnel in Iraq have never seen and never will see combat. Are they heroes? The US military spends a lot of money recruiting folks. NASCAR actually has a car sponsored by the US Army (do the folks in Iraq root for that car?) with fancy commercials.

I just don't think there's any real definition of what a "hero" is. We usually apply it to someone that does something badass and ends up saving someone.

As for the pilot that landed his plan in the river, he's really just a kickass pilot (and should be recognized as such). He himself was in the same danger as everyone else on that plane and probably would have done the exact same thing if he was alone.

So I guess a hero would be someone who exposes him or herself to some sort of danger, not necessarily physical in nature. Thus, I guess wheelchair guy would qualify as a hero. I mean, if the molester has been a little quicker or more badass himself, he might have just stomped on wheelchair guy, let alone the possibility of his having a knife or gun.

As for the members of the US army who will not see combat...well, I have a class right now with a British guy who was in US army intelligence in Iraq for a couple of years. He mostly sat in an office, reading and writing reports. He was never in danger once. So he did an important job, but I wouldn't think of him as a hero.

TsukasaK: And the sad thing is, Wal-mart will probably end up firing him over this, much like they do when employees tackle shoplifters.

Thank your local HR department for being members of their retard cult and sucking payroll dollars out of whatever industry you happen to be in, like a farking hagfish.

Looks like he doesn't need the wheelchair after all.

/in before the peopleofwalmart pics.

Tsunami Ditka: ShawnDoc: How long until Walmart fires him for exposing them to liability in case he was wrong?

My cynical side agrees with you, but the rest of me says it's not gonna happen. We saw the guy get fired from Home Depot (?maybe? wherever the hell it was) because he chased down a guy who'd stolen a lady's purse, IIRC. When it's just a purse, dude, let it go. We're talking about saving a child--possibly saving her life-- here, and somehow I think even Walmart won't want to be caught saying, "F*ck the kid, we coulda been SUED!"

By the way, where the hell were the parents?

What a Walmart parent may look like:

I thought Dexter killed him to protect Riga in season 3.

I Am The Egg Matt Drudge Smears Upon His Body: /in before the peopleofwalmart pics.

Just barely

dictyboy: I Am The Egg Matt Drudge Smears Upon His Body: /in before the peopleofwalmart pics.

Just barely



/that bag one is still my favorite
//cracks me up every time

If he really wanted to be a hero he would be tackling people when they were trying to go in to wal mart.

seriously though, good job dude

How dumb do you have to be to try and carry a screaming girl out of a packed supermarket and expect to get away with it.

Tsunami Ditka: By the way, where the hell were the parents?

They didn't say the age of the "child". Could have been a teen. In fact, if I recall I was running to the store by myself starting at age 9-10.

Tsunami Ditka: By the way, where the hell were the parents?

It was Wal-Mart, not Sears. Do the math.

ybishop: Uh guys, he doesn't work for Walmart, he works for Comcast. RIF, remember? I know because that's the Walmart I shop at and I see him all the time.

Next time you're there, shake the man's hand for me and hand him a beer or WD40 or whatever.

Kinda sad that the child molester was not stopped before he did molest the girl inside the store. And as usual you have to wonder where was the kids' parents while this was going on.