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(Guardian)   Some sick bastard put Dan Brown's new novel on the internet for some damn reason or other   (guardian.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Sick, Dan Brown, The Lost Symbol, Lost Symbol, pirates, novels, JK Rowling, Robert Langdon, bookstore  
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26799 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Sep 2009 at 2:15 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-09-16 04:02:40 PM  

Action Replay Nick: Dan Brown novels go on my short list of 'things that suck so bad, I won't even steal them.'

That made me laugh.

BlorfMaster: Dan Brown taught me I can jump out of an exploding helicopter and use a towel as a parachute to coast to safety.

When I read that part, I was just hoping it was some sort of homage to Douglas Adams (towel + "flying is easy: just fall down and forget to land"). otherwise... yeeeeesh.
 
2009-09-16 04:06:10 PM  

greentea1985: The fact that these books do get people to read is a good thing. The history blended into Dan Brown's Langdon series makes people want to learn more about history.


I'll say this. da Vinci Code is the first book I picked up after I graduated from high school. In high school, I don't read books for leisure at all if they don't have pictures in it.

That started everything. Then I went to Dan Brown's other books, then I went to George R. R. Martin's books, then I got to Robert Jordan's books, Robin Hobbs, Michael A. Stackpole, Orson Scott Cards, Tadd Williams, Terry Prachett, etc... Then it spiraled actually to classics, histories, and mythologies.

So, yeah, I owed Dan Brown something, my lack of social life.
 
2009-09-16 04:06:46 PM  

BesiktasBoy83: I've read DVC 20+ times and Fortress/Angels about 15 times each. I think anyone that doubts hes a great writer should just read his books.
Everytime you read them, DVC in paricular you find something new. I can't believe people attack him for being popular. Would you say the same for the Beatles, Elton John ect?
Millions of people love his books, they can't all be wrong, and before you jump in with so and so writer or so and so book, think about how many people read them...are they really that good if only a few people like them?
I can't wait to read the new book and I hope they catch the a____ thats done this


I lol'ed
 
2009-09-16 04:09:57 PM  

Masso: greentea1985: The fact that these books do get people to read is a good thing. The history blended into Dan Brown's Langdon series makes people want to learn more about history.

I'll say this. da Vinci Code is the first book I picked up after I graduated from high school. In high school, I don't read books for leisure at all if they don't have pictures in it.

That started everything. Then I went to Dan Brown's other books, then I went to George R. R. Martin's books, then I got to Robert Jordan's books, Robin Hobbs, Michael A. Stackpole, Orson Scott Cards, Tadd Williams, Terry Prachett, etc... Then it spiraled actually to classics, histories, and mythologies.

So, yeah, I owed Dan Brown something, my lack of social life.


Congratulations. Seriously. Now if that happened to everyone that read a Dan Brown novel...
 
2009-09-16 04:16:49 PM  

error 303: The only thing I've tried to read that was worse than a Dan Brown novel was Eragon.

That wound up in my fireplace in about 2 minutes. I think my actual quote was "this reads like it was written by a homeschooled 15 year old.".

I then wiki'ed it and found out that it was written by a homeschooled 15 year old.


God, no kidding. I got about 4 pages into that book before I had to flip to the About The Author page just to check out my suspicions. If I remember what I read there correctly, he has family members in the publishing industry, which is clearly the only reason he got published in the first place. And a movie, even. Way to win the genetic lottery, kid.
 
2009-09-16 04:17:02 PM  
BesiktasBoy83:

Millions of people love his books, they can't all be wrong, and before you jump in with so and so writer or so and so book, think about how many people read them...are they really that good if only a few people like them?

So you thought Transformers 2 was a good movie, then, right? This is the WORST argument you could trot out in defense of any work.

And for crying out loud, why is there an article about this book being pirated? Of course it's being pirated.

You have no reasonable expectation that a bunch of words that take 5 seconds to download that is readily available for mass consumption will not find its way around the internet.
 
2009-09-16 04:17:59 PM  
He should write a book with Nora Roberts.
 
2009-09-16 04:20:29 PM  
Of course appealing to the lowest common denominator will result in huge sales. It's been the American Waytm for decades. It's the reason why we can't ever have nice things.

/torn between downloading just for teh lulz but not wanting to waste bandwidth on that trash
 
2009-09-16 04:21:26 PM  

BalugaJoe: He should write a book with Nora Roberts.


Do you have anything by Robert Ludlum?
 
2009-09-16 04:21:41 PM  
If only there were a book with a code in it he could use to find the culprit.
 
2009-09-16 04:21:49 PM  
I have read two of his books. They were somewhat entertaining but they reminded me that the "NYT Best Seller list" is another way of saying "appeals to the lowest common denominator".
 
2009-09-16 04:22:17 PM  

BalugaJoe: He should write a book with Nora Roberts.


I don't mind Nora Roberts. I nominate Debbie McComber - talk about mindless...
 
2009-09-16 04:22:47 PM  

ChadM89: God, no kidding. I got about 4 pages into that book before I had to flip to the About The Author page just to check out my suspicions. If I remember what I read there correctly, he has family members in the publishing industry, which is clearly the only reason he got published in the first place. And a movie, even. Way to win the genetic lottery, kid.


I'm relieved I'm not the only one who felt this... I try really hard not to be a jerk when it comes to people liking things, but it's really really hard for me to take people seriously when they reccomend stuff like that without beginning 'well, this really isn't written very well, but i enjoyed it...'

Further, Dan Brown is not a good writer. At all. His books are by every literary metric except sales, terrible. This cannot be argued. If you enjoy his books, so be it, but they are not literature, they are consumable pop culture.
 
2009-09-16 04:29:03 PM  
The self-preening and puffery in this thread is awesome.

Everybody feel self-important and superior now?

Typical liberals
 
2009-09-16 04:30:08 PM  
Uwe Boll is set to direct "Digital Fortress" starring Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio and Ben Affleck. It will reportedly have guest directors Quentin Tarantino and Michael Bay.
 
2009-09-16 04:30:20 PM  

bookman: The self-preening and puffery in this thread is awesome.

Everybody feel self-important and superior now?

Typical liberals


So conservatives are inferior?
 
2009-09-16 04:30:40 PM  
I liked it better when it was a movie called American Treasure IX...and starred that guy with the bird on his head.
 
2009-09-16 04:30:43 PM  
Angels&Demons and The DaVinci Code were at least entertaining reads, the kind that keep you busy on a plane. Digital Fortress, on the other hand, was terrible. No, Mr Brown, the a-bomb dropped on Nagasaki was not some special isotope of uranium or whatever the fark it was you claimed, it was indeed plutonium. Oh, and you don't know dick about encryption.
 
2009-09-16 04:31:41 PM  

virtualchoirboy: I got your number on the wall!
I got it, I got it, I got it!
For a good time, for a good time call....


/whoosh...


idrow: Please, PLEASE tell me you're kidding.




NO MATTER HOW EASILY OBTAINED

img156.imageshack.us

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

 
2009-09-16 04:35:14 PM  
Okay let me break this one down.
These people in this thread...so you walk past a busy restaruant and think 'oh that place must be terrible' and go to the place on the street with three customers?
You hear a song by Pearl Jam or the Rolling Stones and think 'well it's number one, it must suck'?
You see that Armani makes the best suits and think 'Oh they must be terrible clothes'?

You want to be cool and different. Well here's the story - you like things that suck for the sake of liking things that are unpopular. Oh you're so cooool.
 
2009-09-16 04:38:00 PM  

magu2k: Uwe Boll is set to direct "Digital Fortress" starring Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio and Ben Affleck. It will reportedly have guest directors Quentin Tarantino and Michael Bay.


I've also heard rumours that the soundtrack to this gem will be performed entirely by Bono with sounds revolving around the sounds of him slapping his ass and farting.
 
2009-09-16 04:39:51 PM  

BesiktasBoy83: You want to be cool and different. Well here's the story - you like things that suck for the sake of liking things that are unpopular. Oh you're so cooool.


You strike me as the kind of person who would say "I listen to all kinds of music except classical and jazz".

You have every right to enjoy a Dan Brown book, but if he is your definition of a good author, I really think you've lead a sheltered life...
 
2009-09-16 04:40:00 PM  

StaleCoffee: Live and let live? Sorry if I was a dick in there, but I'm going to be a dick again and ask if you really believe that after calling a bunch of people ITG's because they shiat on a popular novel?


I was a bit overwhelmed with being 80 posts in and 78 negative comments about "how nobody could like his work". It's hard to get a count, but he sold over 60 million copes of Da Vinci Code. Hey, cool. Grandma liked it; good for her.

When I walk into a room and see nothing but one opinion*, I feel a little bit like we're missing something.

*unless it's a boobies thread; then there seems to be one generally accepted consensus and I agree with it.
 
2009-09-16 04:42:57 PM  

error 303: BesiktasBoy83: You want to be cool and different. Well here's the story - you like things that suck for the sake of liking things that are unpopular. Oh you're so cooool.

You strike me as the kind of person who would say "I listen to all kinds of music except classical and jazz".

You have every right to enjoy a Dan Brown book, but if he is your definition of a good author, I really think you've lead a sheltered life...


I listen to classical but not jazz so much. Not sure what you mean by that. Sheltered? Sure if you call reading all of Patrick O'Brian's books in two languages sheltered... then yeah I'm 'sheltered' ;)
 
2009-09-16 04:46:05 PM  
Oh boy, a new Dan Brown novel!

Sorry, I mean, "oh boy, the same damn Dan Brown novel we've all read twice already."
 
2009-09-16 04:50:28 PM  
Some sick bastard put Dan Brown's new novel on the internet for some damn reason or other

Its a conspiracy, I betcha!
 
2009-09-16 04:51:27 PM  
Dan Brown novels suck as a general rule, but I have to say that Digital Fortress carried it to another level. That was the most poorly written piece of crap that I've ever read.

What made it even worse was that I read it not long after I'd finished a really good book about computers, cryptography, and code-breaking (Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon).
 
2009-09-16 04:52:50 PM  

BesiktasBoy83: Okay let me break this one down.
These people in this thread...so you walk past a busy restaruant and think 'oh that place must be terrible' and go to the place on the street with three customers?
You hear a song by Pearl Jam or the Rolling Stones and think 'well it's number one, it must suck'?
You see that Armani makes the best suits and think 'Oh they must be terrible clothes'?

You want to be cool and different. Well here's the story - you like things that suck for the sake of liking things that are unpopular. Oh you're so cooool.


It is more than wanting to like things that suck and hating things because they are popular.

It is a matter of exposure and true appreciation.

Take myself for example. I enjoy stand-up comedy. I enjoy it quite a bit. I have seen tons of it over the years, I watch just about whatever I can get my hands on. When I say I don't consider someone to be "good", sometimes it is personal taste but sometimes it is because I have seen so much that whatever it is they do isn't all that creative, innovative or thought provoking. Sometimes very popular comedians aren't any of those things. I will pick a favorite fark whipping boy: Larry the Cable guy. Larry is a VERY popular comic. He is also pathetic to most who really appreciate comedy.


Fist of all, the ignorant racist homophobic schtick is pretty shallow. It is the lowest of the low hanging fruit to get a laugh. Not that there is anything wrong with some low level humor now and again but it isn't "quality".

On top of that the entire southern redneck bit is an act. Quick google searches will tell you a lot about the man.

I don't dislike him because he is deceptive. I dislike him because very little of what he does or says is creative, innovative or thought provoking.

But the average person who watches and likes a little stand-up now and then

I am not right just because I watch a lot of stand-up but most people who watch a lot will agree.

Same thing with music, wine, books or any other form of art. Most people who don't like what is the most popular don't say it to sound edgy (although it is true some do). Most people who pass on the most popular generally have had greater exposure to the artform and understand it better. It is harder to impress them.
 
2009-09-16 04:59:04 PM  
colden46i>Digital Fortress, on the other hand, was terrible.

Pssst, wanna know a secret?
Do you know the term "prime difference"? That's sometimes used to refer to - you won't believe this! - the difference of primes. But who would have thought of Math when looking for a number? Awesome!!

/ Help! The hackers have weakened the FTP filters protecting our database! Only the last layer is left! If the bad guys continue their onslaught, they'll have punched through that last shield in three minutes, tops!
// Thank God Dan Brown had the help of "two faceless ex-NSA employees contacting him via anonymous remailers or the book couldn't have been written"!
 
2009-09-16 05:01:42 PM  
Dan Brown is the literary equivalent of reality television.
 
2009-09-16 05:03:11 PM  

The Voice of Doom: colden46i>Digital Fortress, on the other hand, was terrible.

Pssst, wanna know a secret?
Do you know the term "prime difference"? That's sometimes used to refer to - you won't believe this! - the difference of primes. But who would have thought of Math when looking for a number? Awesome!!

/ Help! The hackers have weakened the FTP filters protecting our database! Only the last layer is left! If the bad guys continue their onslaught, they'll have punched through that last shield in three minutes, tops!
// Thank God Dan Brown had the help of "two faceless ex-NSA employees contacting him via anonymous remailers or the book couldn't have been written"!


I can at least agree that Digital Fortress truly sucks.

/OMG SPOILER

After all the hubbub...
"3" What the hell is that?
"3"? That's the super uber code?
 
2009-09-16 05:05:03 PM  

BesiktasBoy83: I've read DVC 20+ times and Fortress/Angels about 15 times each. I think anyone that doubts he's a great writer should just read his books.
Everytime you read them, (DVC in paricular) you find something new. I can't believe people attack him for being popular. Would you say the same for the Beatles, Elton John, ect?
Millions of people love his books, they can't all be wrong, and before you jump in with so and so writer or so and so book, think about how many people read them...are they really that good if only a few people like them?
I can't wait to read the new book and I hope they catch the a____ thats done this


A.) How can you read so much and yet have such poor punctuation?
B.) Yes, millions of people can be wrong.

The brain gets stronger with exercise. Strong brains require strong books. Dan Brown is weak.
 
2009-09-16 05:05:21 PM  

The Voice of Doom: / Help! The hackers have weakened the FTP filters protecting our database! Only the last layer is left! If the bad guys continue their onslaught, they'll have punched through that last shield in three minutes, tops!


Please tell me this is hyperbole and this isn't actually in the book.

Please?
 
2009-09-16 05:06:02 PM  

Githerax: The brain gets stronger with exercise. Strong brains require strong books. Dan Brown is weak.


You said it better here than I did with my whole soapbox speech.
 
2009-09-16 05:06:17 PM  
Masso
"3"? That's the super uber code?

That reminds me: I'll have to change the combination on my luggage.
 
2009-09-16 05:07:04 PM  
Don't get me wrong, his books aren't all that surprising (especially after you read a couple), nor are they the best written, but no way in hell do they deserve all the criticism they get.

Considering how the book industry is one that generally loses money, and is a tax break to parent companies, when a book comes along that basically makes a billion dollars, it allows other books to be published that might not otherwise.

What this is really about, a lot of people like to feel superior because "I read and you don't." Now that millions have read this book, they still need to feel superior, but now its "you read, but not what I read."

This isn't Punk music, its a good thing when something is successful and has mass appeal.
 
2009-09-16 05:07:43 PM  
People...there's worse out there....much worse...

www.harpercollins.com
 
2009-09-16 05:07:43 PM  
I can't get through a page of Dan Brown without thinking of a Law & Order script. :\
 
2009-09-16 05:08:33 PM  
So when is the next Tom Robbins novel coming out?
 
2009-09-16 05:12:14 PM  

BlorfMaster: People...there's worse out there....much worse...

I call and raise you this.
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2009-09-16 05:13:14 PM  
jst3p
Please tell me this is hyperbole and this isn't actually in the book.

Please?


Oh boy. Oh no.

Maybe I'll find that thread where I posted excerpts of the last 50 or so pages where the best cryptographers of the world try to find a numeric code that's a "prime difference" without thinking of prime numbers.

Those pages are chock full of FTP and "X-eleven" filters, that are part of the five layers of shields around the main NSA database that is "circled by hackers like sharks".
They even have a big display at the NSA where those shields and all the circling hackers are displayed.

Maybe I can find it again; must have been this year on the Showbiz tab.


/the bit about the "faceless NSA employees behind anonymous remailers" is the dedication at the beginning of the book
 
2009-09-16 05:14:21 PM  
It is kinda dickheadish to put them up on the web, though.

/thinks Dan Brown blows
//but also thinks if you don't like him, don't download it. If you do like him, support him by buying it.
 
2009-09-16 05:15:41 PM  

Cormee: Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I've read DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and Deception Point. I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

There's some sort of infinite loop of stupidity going on in that statement.


I have to agree. I've felt the same way about John Grisham.
 
2009-09-16 05:17:27 PM  

The Voice of Doom: jst3p
Please tell me this is hyperbole and this isn't actually in the book.

Please?

Oh boy. Oh no.

Maybe I'll find that thread where I posted excerpts of the last 50 or so pages where the best cryptographers of the world try to find a numeric code that's a "prime difference" without thinking of prime numbers.

Those pages are chock full of FTP and "X-eleven" filters, that are part of the five layers of shields around the main NSA database that is "circled by hackers like sharks".
They even have a big display at the NSA where those shields and all the circling hackers are displayed.

Maybe I can find it again; must have been this year on the Showbiz tab.


/the bit about the "faceless NSA employees behind anonymous remailers" is the dedication at the beginning of the book


I have neither a big enough face nor a big enough palm for this....

Reminds me of:

"This is a unix system! I know this!"
www.ugo.com
 
2009-09-16 05:21:31 PM  

BesiktasBoy83: Okay let me break this one down.
These people in this thread...so you walk past a busy restaruant and think 'oh that place must be terrible' and go to the place on the street with three customers?
You hear a song by Pearl Jam or the Rolling Stones and think 'well it's number one, it must suck'?
You see that Armani makes the best suits and think 'Oh they must be terrible clothes'?

You want to be cool and different. Well here's the story - you like things that suck for the sake of liking things that are unpopular. Oh you're so cooool.


No, you try one and if it's good you go back. Then you try the other and if it's good you go back. If they both suck then they both suck.
 
2009-09-16 05:23:05 PM  

Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I've read DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and Deception Point. I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.


I haven't read his books, but I saw DaVinci Code. It was a good movie. Perhaps that is the key. Unlike any other literary to cinema endeavor, people should probably be encouraged to not read the book.
 
2009-09-16 05:26:16 PM  
By the way, if people want to read a novel about that deals, like The Da Vinci Code, with secret societies and ancient conspiracy theories, but is well-written and thoughtful and intelligent, may I suggest this one:

www.sfsite.com
 
2009-09-16 05:29:32 PM  
Phone_Answering_Monkey

.........wow. Dude! If there's one thing you never expect to hear about. Ever play the DOS game? I just found the manual for it the other day.


Maybe I should have been clearer, all of His books after the novel Flight Of The Old Dog. as for games, I'm enjoying Fallout 3 thank you *grin*
 
2009-09-16 05:32:44 PM  
Masso 2009-09-16 05:03:11 PM
The Voice of Doom: colden46i>Digital Fortress, on the other hand, was terrible.

[...]

I can at least agree that Digital Fortress truly sucks.

/OMG SPOILER

After all the hubbub...
"3" What the hell is that?
"3"? That's the super uber code?


We all know the answer is 43, not 3.

/thanks for all the fish
 
2009-09-16 05:35:06 PM  

EvilEgg: Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

Because it is mind candy. Candy is fun, tasty, and not bad in moderation, you don't want to make a steady diet of it. Same thing with these books, you can breeze through them without really having to make an effort.

The most popular genre of fiction is romance. How many of those novels would anyone qualify as "good" or even memorable?


I'm sorry but most people who read often, are often educated and cultured enough that they won't be caught dead reading a Dan Brown novel.

/also surprised that so many people think that just because something is popular, it HAS to be good
 
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