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(Guardian)   Some sick bastard put Dan Brown's new novel on the internet for some damn reason or other   (guardian.co.uk) divider line 242
    More: Sick, Dan Brown, The Lost Symbol, Lost Symbol, pirates, novels, JK Rowling, Robert Langdon, bookstore  
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26790 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Sep 2009 at 2:15 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



242 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2009-09-16 10:51:00 AM
Being forced to read any of his crap books would definitely make me sick.
 
2009-09-16 11:09:36 AM
I'm willing to bet that it's the same damn story. Langdon's colleague is murdered in some way, and he is sent on a goose chase through a historical city to uncover the mystery of a secret society before it's too late. He'll be helped out by an attractive, single female relative or colleague of the slain friend, who will be necessary to thwart the forces of corruption that are impeding his journey.

/amirite?
 
2009-09-16 11:13:33 AM
Dan Brown novels go on my short list of 'things that suck so bad, I won't even steal them.'
 
2009-09-16 11:16:14 AM
Hyppy: I'm willing to bet that it's the same damn story. Langdon's colleague is murdered in some way, and he is sent on a goose chase through a historical city to uncover the mystery of a secret society before it's too late. He'll be helped out by an attractive, single female relative or colleague of the slain friend, who will be necessary to thwart the forces of corruption that are impeding his journey.

/amirite?


I read the book yesterday. That's about it, except for one detail.
 
2009-09-16 11:21:45 AM
I've read DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and Deception Point. I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

I really wish that Brad Meltzers would get this sort of attention. It's almost as if they were tailor made to be adapted in summer blockbusters.
 
2009-09-16 11:23:53 AM
It's a clue.

This is exciting!
 
2009-09-16 11:28:56 AM
I read Angels and Demons right after it was released before I'd heard any hype about it (I picked it up after the cover blurb sounded interesting at a bookstore).

Immediately I was disappointed.

And then Dan Brown became mega-popular, and I was even more disappointed.
 
2009-09-16 11:29:25 AM
I wonder if maybe the reason Brown and his books are so popular is just because they are? It's a self fulfilling prophecy, everyone thinks it's shiat, but because he's popular they know everyone else will buy it and they don't want to be left out of the loop, so 100m people buy it because they want to be able to join in conversation about it.
 
2009-09-16 11:58:41 AM
Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I've read DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and Deception Point. I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

There's some sort of infinite loop of stupidity going on in that statement.
 
2009-09-16 12:28:18 PM
We spend the summer watching idiots at town hall meetings, Glenn Beck is considered a leading news/political commentator, tons of trailer trash think they somehow have something in common with rich Republicans, and Rush Limbaugh on national radio compares racism with homosexuality and nobody bats an eye. And you wonder why Dan Brown's novels sell so well and why he is so popular? I think the next movie they make about Langdon should include a scene of his living quarters in his mom's basement with the tinfoil hat present in the foreground.
 
2009-09-16 12:29:28 PM
Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

Because it is mind candy. Candy is fun, tasty, and not bad in moderation, you don't want to make a steady diet of it. Same thing with these books, you can breeze through them without really having to make an effort.

The most popular genre of fiction is romance. How many of those novels would anyone qualify as "good" or even memorable?
 
2009-09-16 01:00:43 PM
EvilEgg: Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

Because it is mind candy. Candy is fun, tasty, and not bad in moderation, you don't want to make a steady diet of it. Same thing with these books, you can breeze through them without really having to make an effort.

The most popular genre of fiction is romance. How many of those novels would anyone qualify as "good" or even memorable?




I see your point. People read Dan Brown to feel like they are reading some intelligent rather than having to actually read something intelligent.

/kinda like volunteering at a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving and fancying yourself a humanitarian
 
2009-09-16 01:10:32 PM
Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I've read DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and Deception Point. I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

I really wish that Brad Meltzers would get this sort of attention. It's almost as if they were tailor made to be adapted in summer blockbusters.


I think Brown would make a decent Hollywood scriptwriter.

His novels read like screenplays. They have potential to be made into good films, but they never had a very good director at the helm.
 
2009-09-16 02:17:41 PM
Slaxl: I wonder if maybe the reason Brown and his books are so popular is just because they are? It's a self fulfilling prophecy, everyone thinks it's shiat, but because he's popular they know everyone else will buy it and they don't want to be left out of the loop, so 100m people buy it because they want to be able to join in conversation about it.

"A bestseller is a book that sells well because it is selling well."

/I think that's from Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
//and if it isn't, it should be
 
2009-09-16 02:19:34 PM
elchip: Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I've read DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and Deception Point. I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

I really wish that Brad Meltzers would get this sort of attention. It's almost as if they were tailor made to be adapted in summer blockbusters.

I think Brown would make a decent Hollywood scriptwriter.

His novels read like screenplays. They have potential to be made into good films, but they never had a very good director at the helm.


When I read DaVinci code that was my exact impression. The whole "They opened the door and gasped at what they saw inside..." artificial suspense thing read like he was hoping it'd be made into a TV miniseries (Tune in next week to find out what was so damn shocking, folks!"

Guy's a crappy author. Why he's such a hit is beyond me.
 
2009-09-16 02:19:43 PM
Action Replay Nick: Dan Brown novels go on my short list of 'things that suck so bad, I won't even steal them.'

This.

I won't even waste the electricity.
 
2009-09-16 02:19:59 PM
I actually liked the The Da Vinci Code, So i'm really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

/the two newest ones though.. every repost is repost repost
 
2009-09-16 02:21:01 PM
Action Replay Nick: Dan Brown novels go on my short list of 'things that suck so bad, I won't even steal them.'

I don't need that cluttering up my hard drive when I could be using that space for shemale vids.

/what?
 
2009-09-16 02:22:19 PM
Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I've read DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and Deception Point. I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

I really wish that Brad Meltzers would get this sort of attention. It's almost as if they were tailor made to be adapted in summer blockbusters.

LCD
//least common denominater
 
2009-09-16 02:22:39 PM
damn... would download just for research purposes... anyone have a safe link?
 
2009-09-16 02:23:15 PM
Prove your daily routine isn't as predictable as a Dan Brown novel.
 
2009-09-16 02:23:43 PM
What, no Patterson?
 
2009-09-16 02:23:57 PM
Isn't there enough crap clogging up the 'tubes already?
 
2009-09-16 02:24:01 PM
As long as he doesn't throw a hissy fit like the Mormon broad who writes the Twilight bullshiat, it's all good.
 
2009-09-16 02:24:11 PM
The only thing I've tried to read that was worse than a Dan Brown novel was Eragon.

That wound up in my fireplace in about 2 minutes. I think my actual quote was "this reads like it was written by a homeschooled 15 year old.".

I then wiki'ed it and found out that it was written by a homeschooled 15 year old.
 
2009-09-16 02:24:16 PM
I was read the first few chapters and, in the story, this guy calls up Langdon and leaves his phone number and Dan Brown writes out an actual number, instead of a 555 fake one, and repeats it a couple times. So I called it.
Some lady answered. I think she sells crackers or something. I dunno. But the lady should sue the publisher.
 
2009-09-16 02:24:28 PM
Hyppy: I'm willing to bet that it's the same damn story. Langdon's colleague is murdered in some way, and he is sent on a goose chase through a historical city to uncover the mystery of a secret society before it's too late. He'll be helped out by an attractive, single female relative or colleague of the slain friend, who will be necessary to thwart the forces of corruption that are impeding his journey.

/amirite?


You know, if Langdon's colleagues keep getting murdered, can they just write it in that he's the killer and get it over with?

Also, lock Dan Brown up and start committing the idiots that keep giving this guy book contracts?
 
2009-09-16 02:24:43 PM
farm1.static.flickr.com
 
2009-09-16 02:25:05 PM
I saw a snobby biatche with Mason badges on the back of her car yesterday.
Driving like a typical San Diego snobby biatche.
I felt a moral obligation to bury her under a corner stone.
 
2009-09-16 02:25:17 PM
Good! Disregarding the book's supposed importance to the publishing industry at the moment, the way it was being treated like the holy grail of books made me nauseous. That full-page announcement on Amazon was just ridiculous.
 
2009-09-16 02:25:19 PM
Slaxl: I wonder if maybe the reason Brown and his books are so popular is just because they are?

I read The DaVinci Code mostly because I knew a lot about the facts that the story is built on, and I think it's an interesting story pre-Dan Brown. His novel was good, it mixed fact and fiction just enough to create a journey that the reader joins in on.

The movies are another story. I think it's hard to make a movie about a book where most of what is going on is talking. But the books are decent.
 
2009-09-16 02:25:33 PM
His books are crap, but they're still not as bad as the dopes who wrote the Left Behind stories.
 
2009-09-16 02:25:59 PM
Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I've read DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and Deception Point. I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

When I read a book and decide I don't like the author's story/style, normally I'll just forego reading more of that author's books. There's lots of other stuff to read in this world. Maybe that's just me.
 
2009-09-16 02:26:11 PM
ExperianScaresCthulhu: As long as he doesn't throw a hissy fit like the Mormon broad who writes the Twilight bullshiat, it's all good.

Oh hell no, that was hilarious. When the lead actor from the movie version of your books is the person to leak plot/storylines from upcoming material, you know that:

A) It sucks
B) He's doing it for a paycheck, not because he things it's interesting.
 
2009-09-16 02:26:33 PM
Why read Dan Brown when you can read Umberto Eco?
 
2009-09-16 02:27:24 PM
jekostas: Also, lock Dan Brown up and start committing the idiots that keep giving this guy book contracts?

Since he keeps making them millions they will keep giving him contracts.

Dan Brown is fun, not all novels have to be deep and thoughtful. Do you have any idea how many novels Piers Anthony has sold?
 
2009-09-16 02:27:41 PM
persons of interest:
www.bibliotecapleyades.net
 
2009-09-16 02:28:07 PM
The guy is not a great writer. He has a knack for creating puzzles, which translates into little more than a gimmick. In other words, he's basically the literary version of M. Night Shamalayan (too lazy to look and see if I spelled that right).
 
2009-09-16 02:28:12 PM
Great, now the tubes are ruined.
 
2009-09-16 02:28:28 PM
*thinks

FTFM

EvilEgg: jekostas: Also, lock Dan Brown up and start committing the idiots that keep giving this guy book contracts?

Since he keeps making them millions they will keep giving him contracts.

Dan Brown is fun, not all novels have to be deep and thoughtful. Do you have any idea how many novels Piers Anthony has sold?


Just more proof of the continual retardification of America
 
2009-09-16 02:28:56 PM
" Some sick bastard..."

From Opus Dei? Or the Freemasons?
 
2009-09-16 02:29:31 PM
Is the idea of books being pirated supposed to be newsworthy now? It's nothing new. Some have hit the net before publication.
 
2009-09-16 02:29:46 PM
Imagine what would happen if Michael Bay directed a movie based on a Dan Brown book... the resulting vortex of suck would kill us all...
 
2009-09-16 02:30:17 PM
Not really as sick as posting swap.avi... but it's up there.
 
2009-09-16 02:30:24 PM
jwa007: We spend the summer watching idiots at town hall meetings, Glenn Beck is considered a leading news/political commentator, tons of trailer trash think they somehow have something in common with rich Republicans, and Rush Limbaugh on national radio compares racism with homosexuality and nobody bats an eye. And you wonder why Dan Brown's novels sell so well and why he is so popular? I think the next movie they make about Langdon should include a scene of his living quarters in his mom's basement with the tinfoil hat present in the foreground.

You're an idiot.
 
2009-09-16 02:31:09 PM
DOes it involve a dog who looks from side-to-side in a shifty manner?
 
2009-09-16 02:32:39 PM
jwa007: We spend the summer watching idiots at town hall meetings, Glenn Beck is considered a leading news/political commentator, tons of trailer trash think they somehow have something in common with rich Republicans, and Rush Limbaugh on national radio compares racism with homosexuality and nobody bats an eye. And you wonder why Dan Brown's novels sell so well and why he is so popular? I think the next movie they make about Langdon should include a scene of his living quarters in his mom's basement with the tinfoil hat present in the foreground.

And idiots like you try and say racism is inborn and not okay and yet somehow changeable and reversable are the same that agree that homosexuality is also inborn but NOT changeable and undesirable to change. And you are using that kind of logic as a way to discredit those who see the hypocracy?

Props to you troller trash, you got a hit.
 
2009-09-16 02:34:11 PM
TwistedIvory: I read Angels and Demons right after it was released before I'd heard any hype about it (I picked it up after the cover blurb sounded interesting at a bookstore).

Immediately I was disappointed.

And then Dan Brown became mega-popular, and I was even more disappointed.


Nice riff on the style, ha. Brown is better than Turtledove. That's all that matters to me.

/I hate Turtledove. Hate him, hate him, hate him.
//I love Barbara Hambly.
///John Ringo is an asshole who obviously hates women and the real Jesus Christ.
/Dan Brown is readable, and isn't the only writer to suffer from 'screenplayitis' elchip talks about above. His books being interchangeable reminds me of 'Bag of Bones'... maybe Mr. Brown is in a slump and is just doling out from his emergency stack until he's out of his slump.
 
2009-09-16 02:34:25 PM
Oh, these weren't your typical pirates. This is the work of the last scion of the Knights Templar working behind the scenes to advance the plans of an ancient sect of the Catholic church that is somehow tied into the persecution of Galileo; the exact timing and IP address of the posting will, if properly translated, reveal the location of a "Most Wondrous Scrying Mirror" developed by Galileo in secret, which he used to encode astronomical clues into a tome that's hidden somewhere in Venice, the contents of which have the potential to bring about the fall of the office of Pope.

Amirite?
 
2009-09-16 02:34:51 PM
dead_dangler: Imagine what would happen if Michael Bay directed a movie based on a Dan Brown book... the resulting vortex of suck would kill us all...

I dunno.. TEMPLAR EXPLOSIONS!!1! just sort of rolls off the tongue.
 
2009-09-16 02:35:05 PM
I finished reading The Lost Symbol last night. It was an enjoyable, quick page-turner, so it worked. I'm not expecting it to be the end-all, be-all of writing--I just want some amusing reading to help me pass the time. The book qualified in that regard.
 
2009-09-16 02:35:22 PM
Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I've read DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and Deception Point. I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

This.

I've read Digital Fortress, Angels & Demons, Deception Point, The Da Vinci Code and The Lost Symbol.

I've seen the movies The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons 11 or 12 times each.

I'm the president of the Western Chapter of "Brownies" (The Dan Brown uberfan club) and spend most of my waking hours looking for hidden messages in his books and/or writing Robert Langdon fanfic.

I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made. I mean, who keeps feeding this crap?
 
2009-09-16 02:35:45 PM
Eragon was hailed as a fantastic fantasy novel. Harry Potter awed the world. Twilight enthralled millions of women. Were these novels any better than Dan Brown?

All this complaining is like comparing T2 to The Bicycle Thief. Both were enjoyable, but for completely different reasons and on completely different levels
 
2009-09-16 02:35:49 PM
b>Slybri: I was read the first few chapters and, in the story, this guy calls up Langdon and leaves his phone number and Dan Brown writes out an actual number, instead of a 555 fake one, and repeats it a couple times. So I called it.
Some lady answered. I think she sells crackers or something. I dunno. But the lady should sue the publisher.


867-5309?
 
2009-09-16 02:35:57 PM
Super Chronic: When I read a book and decide I don't like the author's story/style, normally I'll just forego reading more of that author's books. There's lots of other stuff to read in this world. Maybe that's just me.

Well, I was young and foolish at the time. Plus I was wondering when it was supposed to get OMG AWESOME like everyone said. That said, his books aren't bad, but they certainly aren't good. It's mediocre prose done with rehashed plots.
 
2009-09-16 02:36:45 PM
Hyppy: I'm willing to bet that it's the same damn story. Langdon's colleague is murdered in some way, and he is sent on a goose chase through a historical city to uncover the mystery of a secret society before it's too late. He'll be helped out by an attractive, single female relative or colleague of the slain friend, who will be necessary to thwart the forces of corruption that are impeding his journey.

/amirite?


Pretty much, but you forgot to mention the villain with the immediately visible physical abnormality.
 
2009-09-16 02:37:09 PM
It took a whole day and only TBP and some random site I've never heard of picked it up? (I'll be checking out scribd later..) He must really suck. Normal turnaround is an hour after release and includes about four sites, with 8-10 feeders the next day.
 
2009-09-16 02:37:14 PM
WoWgirl: I finished reading The Lost Symbol last night. It was an enjoyable, quick page-turner, so it worked. I'm not expecting it to be the end-all, be-all of writing--I just want some amusing reading to help me pass the time. The book qualified in that regard.

Of course.

Based on your user name, I imagine your exactly the type of person that Dan Brown appeals to.
 
2009-09-16 02:37:26 PM
baby, even if it was free
i wouldn't waste my time
 
2009-09-16 02:41:41 PM
Dan Brown Novel Plot Generator from Slate:
Link (new window)

FTA:
For those of you who can't wait another moment for Dan Brown's next blockbuster, Slate has your fix: an interactive Dan Brown plot generator that takes a city and a shadowy organization and spits out the plot of the next volume in the Robert Langdon chronicles. You can either select a specific city and/or group from the dropdown menus at the top of the tool or leave it on "random" and let the computer decide. Make sure to hit "refresh"-even the same city and group have multiple story lines.
 
2009-09-16 02:41:55 PM
I've read DVC 20+ times and Fortress/Angels about 15 times each. I think anyone that doubts hes a great writer should just read his books.
Everytime you read them, DVC in paricular you find something new. I can't believe people attack him for being popular. Would you say the same for the Beatles, Elton John ect?
Millions of people love his books, they can't all be wrong, and before you jump in with so and so writer or so and so book, think about how many people read them...are they really that good if only a few people like them?
I can't wait to read the new book and I hope they catch the a____ thats done this
 
2009-09-16 02:42:39 PM
dead_dangler: Imagine what would happen if Michael Bay directed a movie based on a Dan Brown book... the resulting vortex of suck would kill us all...

Bay would have to shoehorn in a negative african-american/arab-american racial stereotype into a Brown novel. And Brown's heroines don't try to keep the hero from solving a problem just because the heroine's pussy is wet and the world can wait until her itch is scratched.

Brown >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Bay

Turtledove > Bay

/why wasn't a fatwah placed on Bay's head, instead of Rushdie's?
 
2009-09-16 02:42:50 PM
Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: Super Chronic: When I read a book and decide I don't like the author's story/style, normally I'll just forego reading more of that author's books. There's lots of other stuff to read in this world. Maybe that's just me.

Well, I was young and foolish at the time. Plus I was wondering when it was supposed to get OMG AWESOME like everyone said. That said, his books aren't bad, but they certainly aren't good. It's mediocre prose done with rehashed plots.


Yeah, okay, I was just being a bit snarky.

/actually kind of liked the Da Vinci Code but never read Brown's other stuff
 
2009-09-16 02:43:06 PM
dead_dangler: Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I've read DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and Deception Point. I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

This.

I've read Digital Fortress, Angels & Demons, Deception Point, The Da Vinci Code and The Lost Symbol.

I've seen the movies The Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons 11 or 12 times each.

I'm the president of the Western Chapter of "Brownies" (The Dan Brown uberfan club) and spend most of my waking hours looking for hidden messages in his books and/or writing Robert Langdon fanfic.

I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made. I mean, who keeps feeding this crap?


You've heard of libraries, right? The place where they let you borrow books for free just as long as you bring them back when they ask you. I have not given a single cent to Dan Brown.

Also, the only reason that I managed to read 3 books before stopping is b/c I was waiting for it to get OMG AWESOME like everyone was saying. Also, did a lot of traveling, and after exhausting the Skymall catalog, you'll read anything!
 
2009-09-16 02:43:06 PM
Dan Brown novels are kind of like beer. If you like it indulge, if you don't, skip it. They are like a little vacation from reality enjoy it or get over it. I don't think however, that all of fark's Dan Brown haters are really in love with impenetrable prose of something like "Gravity's Rainbow". Rather I think that most of these guys would prefer a story about a Jedi who helps Captian Kirk fight Klingons and has space sex.
 
2009-09-16 02:44:04 PM
I hereby register my agreement that Brown is not a good writer and the public should read better novels.
 
2009-09-16 02:44:27 PM
dead_dangler: WoWgirl: I finished reading The Lost Symbol last night. It was an enjoyable, quick page-turner, so it worked. I'm not expecting it to be the end-all, be-all of writing--I just want some amusing reading to help me pass the time. The book qualified in that regard.

Of course.

Based on your user name, I imagine your exactly the type of person that Dan Brown appeals to.


I used to get angry at comments like this, now I just pity you. If you want to laugh at what millions of people do then go ahead. Maybe one day they'll laugh back at you?
 
2009-09-16 02:45:28 PM
Dan Brown taught me I can jump out of an exploding helicopter and use a towel as a parachute to coast to safety.

/seriously.
 
2009-09-16 02:46:05 PM
BesiktasBoy83: I used to get angry at comments like this, now I just pity you. If you want to laugh at what millions of people do then go ahead. Maybe one day they'll laugh back at you?

If 2 million people do a stupid thing, it is still a stupid thing.
 
2009-09-16 02:47:08 PM
jwa007: BesiktasBoy83: I used to get angry at comments like this, now I just pity you. If you want to laugh at what millions of people do then go ahead. Maybe one day they'll laugh back at you?

If 2 million people do a stupid thing, it is still a stupid thing.


And if you say one thing and two million people say the opposite then maybe you should think am I right or are they right....otherwise you might be an arrogant a____
 
2009-09-16 02:47:25 PM
That sucks. Even if you don't like his books, it's not cool to steel someones hard work and...oh yeah...Cough holy blood holy grail.
 
2009-09-16 02:48:00 PM
BesiktasBoy83: dead_dangler: WoWgirl: I finished reading The Lost Symbol last night. It was an enjoyable, quick page-turner, so it worked. I'm not expecting it to be the end-all, be-all of writing--I just want some amusing reading to help me pass the time. The book qualified in that regard.

Of course.

Based on your user name, I imagine your exactly the type of person that Dan Brown appeals to.

I used to get angry at comments like this, now I just pity you. If you want to laugh at what millions of people do then go ahead. Maybe one day they'll laugh back at you?


Bush was elected twice. I'd say that those millions of people you're talking about have already got me back.
 
2009-09-16 02:48:25 PM
Hyppy: I'm willing to bet that it's the same damn story. Langdon's colleague is murdered in some way, and he is sent on a goose chase through a historical city to uncover the mystery of a secret society before it's too late. He'll be helped out by an attractive, single female relative or colleague of the slain friend, who will be necessary to thwart the forces of corruption that are impeding his journey.

/amirite?


You forgot the assassin part.
 
2009-09-16 02:48:57 PM
BesiktasBoy83: And if you say one thing and two million people say the opposite then maybe you should think am I right or are they right....otherwise you might be an arrogant a____

Pssst. You.

This is the internet. You can say "asshole" here.
 
2009-09-16 02:49:06 PM
dead_dangler: Based on your user name, I imagine your exactly the type of person that Dan Brown appeals to.

I imagine you don't know when to use an apostrophe, or how not to finish a sentence.
 
2009-09-16 02:49:27 PM
dead_dangler: BesiktasBoy83: dead_dangler: WoWgirl: I finished reading The Lost Symbol last night. It was an enjoyable, quick page-turner, so it worked. I'm not expecting it to be the end-all, be-all of writing--I just want some amusing reading to help me pass the time. The book qualified in that regard.

Of course.

Based on your user name, I imagine your exactly the type of person that Dan Brown appeals to.

I used to get angry at comments like this, now I just pity you. If you want to laugh at what millions of people do then go ahead. Maybe one day they'll laugh back at you?

Bush was elected twice. I'd say that those millions of people you're talking about have already got me back.


Good.
 
2009-09-16 02:49:39 PM
BesiktasBoy83: jwa007: BesiktasBoy83: I used to get angry at comments like this, now I just pity you. If you want to laugh at what millions of people do then go ahead. Maybe one day they'll laugh back at you?

If 2 million people do a stupid thing, it is still a stupid thing.

And if you say one thing and two million people say the opposite then maybe you should think am I right or are they right....otherwise you might be an arrogant a____


I cannot believe I fell for this. The batteries in my troll detector must be dead.
 
2009-09-16 02:49:44 PM
BesiktasBoy83: dead_dangler: WoWgirl: I finished reading The Lost Symbol last night. It was an enjoyable, quick page-turner, so it worked. I'm not expecting it to be the end-all, be-all of writing--I just want some amusing reading to help me pass the time. The book qualified in that regard.

Of course.

Based on your user name, I imagine your exactly the type of person that Dan Brown appeals to.

I used to get angry at comments like this, now I just pity you. If you want to laugh at what millions of people do then go ahead. Maybe one day they'll laugh back at you?



They say you're a troll. I read your profile. That's a slap in the head. Oh well, I know my place. I embrace it now.
 
2009-09-16 02:51:29 PM
EvilEgg: Eragon was hailed as a fantastic fantasy novel. Harry Potter awed the world. Twilight enthralled millions of women. Were these novels any better than Dan Brown?

All this complaining is like comparing T2 to The Bicycle Thief. Both were enjoyable, but for completely different reasons and on completely different levels


Eragon was universally reviled as a piece of crap that was only published because of familial connections.
Twilight was meant as sexuality with training wheels (ie. for teenage girls). The fact that it's enthralled millions of women is just farking SAD.
Harry Potter has reasonable storylines and very strong characterization (something lacking in both the above, and Dan Brown books).
 
2009-09-16 02:52:13 PM
WoWgirl: I finished reading The Lost Symbol last night. It was an enjoyable, quick page-turner, so it worked. I'm not expecting it to be the end-all, be-all of writing--I just want some amusing reading to help me pass the time. The book qualified in that regard.

Hafta ask...are you known as the WoWgirl because you have a W tattooed on each buttcheek?
 
2009-09-16 02:52:30 PM
BesiktasBoy83: jwa007: BesiktasBoy83: I used to get angry at comments like this, now I just pity you. If you want to laugh at what millions of people do then go ahead. Maybe one day they'll laugh back at you?

If 2 million people do a stupid thing, it is still a stupid thing.

And if you say one thing and two million people say the opposite then maybe you should think am I right or are they right....otherwise you might be an arrogant a____


Nah...If those 2 million people enjoy Dan Brown books then I already know they are idiots and don't have to worry about who is right.

And I am an arrogant ass. Thanks for noticing.
 
2009-09-16 02:53:46 PM
locutisOfMN: " Some sick bastard..."

From Opus Dei? Or the Freemasons?


Opus Dei.

We promote the betterment of humanity (albeit one brother at a time).
 
2009-09-16 02:53:50 PM
And... I'm arguing about Dan Brown over the Internet... this is truly the low point of my life...

/off to shoot myself
 
2009-09-16 02:54:26 PM

Every damned book of note gets stuck on the internet. If legit publisers are so agrieved about this happening, well there isn't much they can do except make the legitimate product affordable and accessible enough that people buy it in preference to the typo-hell, badly formatted pirate version.


At the moment legit ebooks are too expensive. There is no printing, pulping, returns, transportation to care about. Yet they often cost more than physical books. And they can't be resold and are often DRM'd the hilt. It is no wonder some people prefer to download the illegal version.

 
2009-09-16 02:54:44 PM
jwa007: BesiktasBoy83: jwa007: BesiktasBoy83: I used to get angry at comments like this, now I just pity you. If you want to laugh at what millions of people do then go ahead. Maybe one day they'll laugh back at you?

If 2 million people do a stupid thing, it is still a stupid thing.

And if you say one thing and two million people say the opposite then maybe you should think am I right or are they right....otherwise you might be an arrogant a____

Nah...If those 2 million people enjoy Dan Brown books then I already know they are idiots and don't have to worry about who is right.

And I am an arrogant ass. Thanks for noticing.


I think you forgot 'ignorant' as well.
ExperianScaresCthulhu lol.
 
2009-09-16 02:55:23 PM
I've never read any of his books, but my Mom loves them. To each their own I guess. It doesn't surprise me when mediocre writers become huge. See Stephenie Meyer for instance. She's a terrible writer and her books have sold millions.

/and let's not forget that GI and Transformers made a lot of money.
//some people enjoy mindless garbage
 
2009-09-16 02:56:34 PM
Porous Horace: Why read Dan Brown when you can read Umberto Eco?

My brother had me laughing for weeks with his summation of "The Da Vinci Code". He called it "Foucault's Pendulum for Dummies"
 
2009-09-16 02:57:23 PM
jwa007: BesiktasBoy83: jwa007: BesiktasBoy83: I used to get angry at comments like this, now I just pity you. If you want to laugh at what millions of people do then go ahead. Maybe one day they'll laugh back at you?

If 2 million people do a stupid thing, it is still a stupid thing.

And if you say one thing and two million people say the opposite then maybe you should think am I right or are they right....otherwise you might be an arrogant a____

Nah...If those 2 million people enjoy Dan Brown books then I already know they are idiots and don't have to worry about who is right.

And I am an arrogant ass. Thanks for noticing.


Sometimes idiots have more fun. Not everything you do has to be a deep growing experience. It's perfectly acceptable to enjoy monkey knife fights on occasion.
 
2009-09-16 02:57:50 PM
Hey Dan Brown, LET'S TRY THE KANJI
 
2009-09-16 02:58:05 PM
/shrug

I read his last 3 books and enjoyed them.

I thought Angels and Demons (which I read after I read the DC) was a better book. The science and computer speak in Deception Point about made me puke, but overall it was ok.

It isn't intended to be high brow prose, they are like summer
popcorn flicks. You watch them, have some fun, then forget them.
 
2009-09-16 02:58:13 PM
GT_bike: b>Slybri: I was read the first few chapters and, in the story, this guy calls up Langdon and leaves his phone number and Dan Brown writes out an actual number, instead of a 555 fake one, and repeats it a couple times. So I called it.
Some lady answered. I think she sells crackers or something. I dunno. But the lady should sue the publisher.

867-5309?


Don't post private/contact information no matter how easily obtained.

img41.imageshack.us
 
2009-09-16 03:02:22 PM
blogs.creativeloafing.com
 
2009-09-16 03:03:38 PM
BesiktasBoy83: dead_dangler: WoWgirl: I finished reading The Lost Symbol last night. It was an enjoyable, quick page-turner, so it worked. I'm not expecting it to be the end-all, be-all of writing--I just want some amusing reading to help me pass the time. The book qualified in that regard.

Of course.

Based on your user name, I imagine your exactly the type of person that Dan Brown appeals to.

I used to get angry at comments like this, now I just pity you. If you want to laugh at what millions of people do then go ahead. Maybe one day they'll laugh back at you?


Millions of people have imaginary friends, do hard drugs, screw people with aids too. I guess I'll just have to live with their laughter :(
 
2009-09-16 03:05:48 PM
sundance1028: The guy is not a great writer. He has a knack for creating puzzles, which translates into little more than a gimmick. In other words, he's basically the literary version of M. Night Shamalayan (too lazy to look and see if I spelled that right).

Even Dan Brown didn't deserve that.
 
2009-09-16 03:06:13 PM
I think Rick Dagger would be a good pseudonym
 
2009-09-16 03:06:30 PM
ithaqua: That sucks. Even if you don't like his books, it's not cool to steel someones hard work and...oh yeah...Cough holy blood holy grail.

Came here to say this. More like fencing already stolen goods.

/and also the answer to the question "what happens when hard drive storage space becomes too inexpensive?"
 
2009-09-16 03:07:30 PM
Wow... what a bunch of haters.

Personally, I'm happy to hear that people are still reading books. I had a friend once who said he'd read 3 books in his life outside of school; he was 21.

Obviously, Dan Brown is WAY beneath all you hoity-toity people here on Fark, where the average IQ is 180, all the men are good-looking, and all the women are strong.

Good gracious. For everyone that hates Dan Brown: Promise me you'll replace reading one of his books with reading some Hemingway or something. At least go read a book. Then you can stop complaining that everyone else is reading a book too.
 
2009-09-16 03:08:58 PM
LOTN: GT_bike: b>Slybri: I was read the first few chapters and, in the story, this guy calls up Langdon and leaves his phone number and Dan Brown writes out an actual number, instead of a 555 fake one, and repeats it a couple times. So I called it.
Some lady answered. I think she sells crackers or something. I dunno. But the lady should sue the publisher.

867-5309?

Don't post private/contact information no matter how easily obtained.


I got your number on the wall!
I got it, I got it, I got it!
For a good time, for a good time call....


/whoosh...
 
2009-09-16 03:09:37 PM
dead_dangler: Imagine what would happen if Michael Bay directed a movie based on a Dan Brown book... the resulting vortex of suck would kill us all...

Unfortunately it would kill us all by burying us alive in all the money he would rake in. I swear, Dan Brown and Michael Bay are all the proof I need to believe in the saying God only looks out for fools and angels.
 
2009-09-16 03:09:49 PM
Haven't read anything by him yet, still don't plan to.
 
2009-09-16 03:10:45 PM
TsukasaK: I actually liked the The Da Vinci Code, So i'm really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

/the two newest ones though.. every repost is repost repost


Read them all. Don't ask why. I was really surprised that an editor would actually allow him to submit the exact same story five times and pass it off as new material.

Seriously, Da Vinci Code, Angels & Demons, Deception Point, Digital Fortress and now this... same story.

/this is a repost
 
2009-09-16 03:12:16 PM
ds394: Wow... what a bunch of haters.

Personally, I'm happy to hear that people are still reading books. I had a friend once who said he'd read 3 books in his life outside of school; he was 21.

Obviously, Dan Brown is WAY beneath all you hoity-toity people here on Fark, where the average IQ is 180, all the men are good-looking, and all the women are strong.

Good gracious. For everyone that hates Dan Brown: Promise me you'll replace reading one of his books with reading some Hemingway or something. At least go read a book. Then you can stop complaining that everyone else is reading a book too.


You say it better than I can. Thread over.
 
2009-09-16 03:12:19 PM
Although I think his other books were mediocre, I really enjoys Angels and Demons, despite the escape from Helicopter scene.

I will probably finished the Lost Symbol this weekend. Screw the hates around here.

/No, I don't like Michael Bay's movies.
 
2009-09-16 03:14:34 PM
The only way 3 people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.
 
2009-09-16 03:15:53 PM
It amazes me that so many people seem genuinely surprised to find out that Dan Brown books are considered utter and complete lowest common denominator garbage.

Those people that laughed when you told them how much you loved "The Davinci Code"? Yeah, they were laughing at you, not with you.
 
2009-09-16 03:16:03 PM
Some sick bastard put Dan Brown's new novel on the internet in a bookstore for some damn reason or other.

ftfy subby
 
2009-09-16 03:16:32 PM
ds394: Wow... what a bunch of haters.

Personally, I'm happy to hear that people are still reading books. I had a friend once who said he'd read 3 books in his life outside of school; he was 21.

Obviously, Dan Brown is WAY beneath all you hoity-toity people here on Fark, where the average IQ is 180, all the men are good-looking, and all the women are strong.

Good gracious. For everyone that hates Dan Brown: Promise me you'll replace reading one of his books with reading some Hemingway or something. At least go read a book. Then you can stop complaining that everyone else is reading a book too.


If someone reads 3 books in a year and a crappy book is one of them, it doesn't make it less crappy. I've never read more than a chapter or so of his books because I got bored and wandered off to other things so I won't personally attest to whether I think they're shiat or not, but telling a bunch of people to stuff their opinions up their collective ass because you think these novels have some intangible redeeming value is a big pile of horseshiat.
 
2009-09-16 03:16:41 PM
ds394: Promise me you'll replace reading one of his books with reading some Hemingway or something. At least go read a book.

I alternate one classic with one fluff. A few years back, after the last Harry Potter, I remember thinking that Rowling had a few very good thoughts or well-crafted moments every other page or so. I followed it up with Bleak House. fark me if Dickens didn't have something awesome going on in every god damned sentence.
 
2009-09-16 03:18:07 PM
Control_this: It's a clue.

This is exciting!


And 'Oh look, a plot twist or device out of the blue/deus ex machina because I wrote myself into a corner! Whoopsie!'

Gah.

I read TDC about four or five times (bathroom reading - srsly), and each time became more and more dissatisfied with it. After that, I have refused to read any more of his tripe.

//soooooooo overrated
/I can write better tripe
 
2009-09-16 03:18:44 PM
Porous Horace: Why read Dan Brown when you can read Umberto Eco?

Agreed.

Eco is one of my favorite authors. Far too often, those who write well lack the substantive intellect to make it worthwhile, while those with real substance lack a quality writing ability. Eco, thankfully, is a master of the written word able to draw on his impressive intellect as well as literary, historical, and philosophical knowledge.
 
2009-09-16 03:19:33 PM
Porous Horace: Why read Dan Brown when you can read Umberto Eco?

thanks
The most intelligent post on fark today
 
2009-09-16 03:19:38 PM
dead_dangler: It amazes me that so many people seem genuinely surprised to find out that Dan Brown books are considered utter and complete lowest common denominator garbage.

Those people that laughed when you told them how much you loved "The Davinci Code"? Yeah, they were laughing at you, not with you.


Leonardo da Vinci was one of the most famous people of all history and you dont know how to write his name.... okay. I think you could do yourself a favor & stop writing.
 
2009-09-16 03:22:16 PM
BesiktasBoy83: Leonardo da Vinci was one of the most famous people of all history and you dont know how to write his name.... okay. I think you could do yourself a favor & stop writing.

Wow. Just wow.
 
2009-09-16 03:24:14 PM
EvilEgg: Eragon was hailed as a fantastic fantasy novel. Harry Potter awed the world. Twilight enthralled millions of women. Were these novels any better than Dan Brown?

All this complaining is like comparing T2 to The Bicycle Thief. Both were enjoyable, but for completely different reasons and on completely different levels


Harry Potter is a well written children's story, Twilight is crap, Eragon rode that wave, and Dan Brown gave people something interesting to think about. Not rocket science, not "War and Peace" but I hate to complain about people reading. Even if it is Twilight.
 
2009-09-16 03:24:31 PM
BesiktasBoy83
Millions of people love his books,


"Leute, fresst Scheiße! Millionen von Fliegen können nicht irren!"
 
2009-09-16 03:24:32 PM
Snape kills Dumbledore. Page 606.
 
2009-09-16 03:24:51 PM
ds394: Good gracious. For everyone that hates Dan Brown: Promise me you'll replace reading one of his books with reading some Hemingway or something. At least go read a book. Then you can stop complaining that everyone else is reading a book too

Actually, I'm reading three biographies (Queen Victoria, Alice of Greece [Prince Philip's mother], and John Adams) and GWTW at the same time. Then, I think I'm going to snitch the Gulag Archipelago from my dad's bookcase this weekend for a change of pace.

And no, I'm not joking.

///I think the correct term for someone like me is "bibliophile"
/you arrogant pain in the ass
 
2009-09-16 03:26:05 PM
StaleCoffee: If someone reads 3 books in a year and a crappy book is one of them, it doesn't make it less crappy. I've never read more than a chapter or so of his books because I got bored and wandered off to other things so I won't personally attest to whether I think they're shiat or not, but telling a bunch of people to stuff their opinions up their collective ass because you think these novels have some intangible redeeming value is a big pile of horseshiat.

Seriously, are you ill???

I read the comics. I don't claim that by doing so I'm becoming one with the answer to life, the universe, and everything. But it's FUN.

For some people, Dan Brown is FUN. This is like people who argue that playing on a swing is useless because you don't go anywhere so you're not accomplishing anything. It's FUN.

I'm not telling people to stuff their opinions. I'm just saying:
1. Just because you don't like his writing doesn't mean other people don't.
2. Millions of people enjoy his books; but not one of them is here because, as I said, apparently everyone on Fark likes Chianti and Fava Beans. Isn't that amazing to you, too?
3. I STILL think it's good to read; no matter what it is. I remember when Harry Potter came out everyone said her writing was crap etc. Well, I was happy to see a block long line of kids waiting to get the book to read it.

I guess I'm more of a "live and let live" kind of a person.
 
2009-09-16 03:26:40 PM
My wife was working at Barnes & Noble when The Da Vinci Code just came out. Her favorite was when a customer asked for help finding that "new Dicaprio Code book."
 
2009-09-16 03:27:28 PM
BesiktasBoy83: dead_dangler: It amazes me that so many people seem genuinely surprised to find out that Dan Brown books are considered utter and complete lowest common denominator garbage.

Those people that laughed when you told them how much you loved "The Davinci Code"? Yeah, they were laughing at you, not with you.

Leonardo da Vinci was one of the most famous people of all history and you dont know how to write his name.... okay. I think you could do yourself a favor & stop writing.


I'm confused. I thought you liked crappy writing.
 
2009-09-16 03:28:11 PM
Slaxl: I wonder if maybe the reason Brown and his books are so popular is just because they are? It's a self fulfilling prophecy, everyone thinks it's shiat, but because he's popular they know everyone else will buy it and they don't want to be left out of the loop, so 100m people buy it because they want to be able to join in conversation about it.

I can join in a discussion about how much it sucks after reading one page at the bookstore
 
2009-09-16 03:29:06 PM
There are (119)(+2) posts here...this must mean something. 9-1-1 +2? Mathematically it leads back to the number 9, just how it started....like a snake eating itself....hmmmm

What was that?

Run!
 
2009-09-16 03:30:00 PM
dead_dangler: BesiktasBoy83: dead_dangler: It amazes me that so many people seem genuinely surprised to find out that Dan Brown books are considered utter and complete lowest common denominator garbage.

Those people that laughed when you told them how much you loved "The Davinci Code"? Yeah, they were laughing at you, not with you.

Leonardo da Vinci was one of the most famous people of all history and you dont know how to write his name.... okay. I think you could do yourself a favor & stop writing.

I'm confused. I thought you liked crappy writing.


Welcome to my ignore list, you arrogant f____ idiot.
 
2009-09-16 03:32:35 PM
All you Dan Brown fan folks who are pissed at those of us who find his writing deplorable: Got a proposition for you.

Read The Secret History by Donna Tartt. Take your time and don't worry about how long it might take to read. When you are finished take a ten minute break and then start reading something by Dan Brown, any of his books.
 
2009-09-16 03:33:58 PM
rodeofrog: ds394: Promise me you'll replace reading one of his books with reading some Hemingway or something. At least go read a book.

I alternate one classic with one fluff. A few years back, after the last Harry Potter, I remember thinking that Rowling had a few very good thoughts or well-crafted moments every other page or so. I followed it up with Bleak House. fark me if Dickens didn't have something awesome going on in every god damned sentence.


I'd rather receive a good BJ than have to read Dickens.
 
2009-09-16 03:34:24 PM
jwa007: All you Dan Brown fan folks who are pissed at those of us who find his writing deplorable: Got a proposition for you.

No one is asking you to read he novels. What consenting adults do in the privacy of their own home is no business of yours.
 
2009-09-16 03:35:24 PM
Why is this man even getting work published?
 
2009-09-16 03:36:10 PM
Spike Lee's Favorite Farker: I'd rather receive a good BJ than have to read Dickens.

Despite my previous posts indicating that I'm pro reading, I will gladly trade a good BJ than have to read any book written by man. I'm willing to make this sacrifice.
 
2009-09-16 03:36:26 PM
EvilEgg: No one is asking you to read he novels. What consenting adults do in the privacy of their own home is no business of yours.

LOL WUT
 
2009-09-16 03:36:43 PM
Everything after Flight Of The Old Dog can go somewhere the sun doesn't shine. As long as it's into someone else
 
2009-09-16 03:37:58 PM
EvilEgg: jwa007: All you Dan Brown fan folks who are pissed at those of us who find his writing deplorable: Got a proposition for you.

No one is asking you to read he novels. What consenting adults do in the privacy of their own home is no business of yours.


What are "he novels"? Sounds kinda gay.

/nttawwt
 
2009-09-16 03:39:39 PM
So lets check this out. So many Dan Brown haters. Must be a bunch of literary critics with degrees to come out with such clear reasons for hating him, oh yeah not one real criticism. "I don't like him" doesn't count. How many of you haters have written any books? None! Hell, how many can write a coherent sentence? Sounds like a bunch of basement dwellers with serious jealousy issues!

Brown writes good escapist entertainment for folks that enjoy a quick relaxing read and are not looking for anything deeper. " Angels and demons" is good right up to the helicopter stunt which pushed believability way off the scale! But, the book kept one guessing all the way to the end, and isn't that the goal of mysteries?
 
2009-09-16 03:39:54 PM
the cripple did it
 
2009-09-16 03:40:11 PM
ds394: Good gracious. For everyone that hates Dan Brown: Promise me you'll replace reading one of his books with reading some Hemingway or something.

God no. Hemingway can bite me. When the underlying theme of one of your most celebrated novels is, honest to god, emotional blue balls, you need to have all of your acclaim taken away and used to smack you.

Not that Dan Brown isn't horrible. Kanji does not work that way!

Good books can be enjoyable, too. Once you get past the fact that you could club a bear with it, Infinite Jest is fun as hell. Baby, you had me at "giant feral babies wandering toxic waste dump in Canada."

/Hemingway could take me in a barfight, though
 
2009-09-16 03:40:56 PM
Spike Lee's Favorite Farker: rodeofrog: ds394: Promise me you'll replace reading one of his books with reading some Hemingway or something. At least go read a book.

I alternate one classic with one fluff. A few years back, after the last Harry Potter, I remember thinking that Rowling had a few very good thoughts or well-crafted moments every other page or so. I followed it up with Bleak House. fark me if Dickens didn't have something awesome going on in every god damned sentence.

I'd rather receive a good BJ than have to read Dickens.


You got me there. I have no choice but to agree that a BJ would be more fun.
 
2009-09-16 03:43:02 PM
I've read all his books. He's not great, it's fiction-for-the-masses.. It's no worse than Grisham/Crichton/King (post-2000). I would never buy the hardcover, but it's the type of thing I'll pick up on departure from the airport, finish it during the return flight, and leave it in the seat-back pouch.
 
2009-09-16 03:43:42 PM
elchip: His novels read like screenplays. They have potential to be made into good films, but they never had a very good director at the helm.

Probably because that's what the goal is, to have books made into movies. Even if that wasn't the goal from the start, it has to be now. I mean, it'd be stupid otherwise. Might as well make the product easily adaptable to other media.

cwolf20: Everything after Flight Of The Old Dog can go somewhere the sun doesn't shine. As long as it's into someone else

.........wow. Dude! If there's one thing you never expect to hear about. Ever play the DOS game? I just found the manual for it the other day.
 
2009-09-16 03:45:06 PM
LOTN: GT_bike: b>Slybri: I was read the first few chapters and, in the story, this guy calls up Langdon and leaves his phone number and Dan Brown writes out an actual number, instead of a 555 fake one, and repeats it a couple times. So I called it.
Some lady answered. I think she sells crackers or something. I dunno. But the lady should sue the publisher.

867-5309?

Don't post private/contact information no matter how easily obtained.


Please, PLEASE tell me you're kidding.
 
2009-09-16 03:45:21 PM
Paris1127: Hyppy: I'm willing to bet that it's the same damn story. Langdon's colleague is murdered in some way, and he is sent on a goose chase through a historical city to uncover the mystery of a secret society before it's too late. He'll be helped out by an attractive, single female relative or colleague of the slain friend, who will be necessary to thwart the forces of corruption that are impeding his journey.

/amirite?

I read the book yesterday. That's about it, except for one detail.



The shrink was actually dead the whole time ?

or

The chinaman peed on someone elses rug ?
 
2009-09-16 03:46:06 PM
just_another_asshole/jaa: So lets check this out. So many Dan Brown haters. Must be a bunch of literary critics with degrees to come out with such clear reasons for hating him, oh yeah not one real criticism.

His prose is very poor. His research is atrocious (I really can't even describe how bad it is). His characters are made of cardboard, Langdon especially is a badly disguised Mary Sue. His novels are full of contrived cliffhangers. The plots of his villains make very little sense (esp. in Angels and Demons). All of his books have the same plot. I could go on.

General rule of thumb: If someone defends anything by saying something like "well it's good if you just want to turn your brain off blah blah blah...", what they are defending is crap. Good material engages you without forcing you to suspend your critical faculties. Bad material forces you to make excuses for it.
 
2009-09-16 03:46:14 PM
"The book's UK publisher Transworld said it was aware of the transgressions and was taking action to have the illegal downloads removed. "It is available on a number of pirate sites," said associate publicity director Alison Barrow, who added that the publisher was asking websites to take down digital copies of the book. "We are not being complacent about this," she said. "It's only the US version so far."

Next on the list, taking the Pee out of a Pool...

/yeah, once it's on the 'net' it ain't coming off...
 
2009-09-16 03:47:27 PM
raptusregaliter: Then, I think I'm going to snitch the Gulag Archipelago from my dad's bookcase this weekend for a change of pace.

That is easily the most depressing book I ever read. I got halfway through the abridged version and couldn't continue.
 
2009-09-16 03:49:46 PM
MBooda: persons of interest:

www.bibliotecapleyades.net

JESUS CHRIST!!!



LeviathanFafner: Why is this man even getting work published?

Because they make money as people buy them to read. That is also why the movies make money.
 
2009-09-16 03:52:53 PM
WoWgirl: I finished reading The Lost Symbol last night. It was an enjoyable, quick page-turner, so it worked. I'm not expecting it to be the end-all, be-all of writing--I just want some amusing reading to help me pass the time. The book qualified in that regard.

This. It's much like the Harry Potter books, another series people love to hate. They aren't the greatest books ever written, but they're fun, easy reads that get people to actually read. Not all books need to be a Ulysses or a War and Peace (two other books held up as the epitome of literature written by great authors that happen to be unreadable.) The fact that these books do get people to read is a good thing. The history blended into Dan Brown's Langdon series makes people want to learn more about history.
 
2009-09-16 03:56:54 PM
nucal: raptusregaliter: Then, I think I'm going to snitch the Gulag Archipelago from my dad's bookcase this weekend for a change of pace.

That is easily the most depressing book I ever read. I got halfway through the abridged version and couldn't continue.


The Russian writers are all pretty depressing but they're good pieces of literature (poor Russia... they thought they had it bad with the Tsars; Stalin made them look like choirboys)... but the Russians had/have plenty to be depressed about.

I tackled Tolstoy and Dostoevsky at one point and retreated to Barbara Taylor Bradford's la-la-land to keep myself from being clinically depressed. :)
 
2009-09-16 03:57:11 PM
Why the hate for Dan Brown subbs when the hate should be directed towards his brother Chris
 
2009-09-16 03:58:09 PM
Action Replay Nick: Dan Brown novels go on my short list of 'things that suck so bad, I won't even steal them.'

Ba-Zing!

seriously though, he's a hack. this is only sad because someone, somewhere, wasted 1's and 0's in order to spread his fail.
 
2009-09-16 03:59:24 PM
greentea1985: The pseudo-history blended into Dan Brown's Langdon series makes people want to learn more about historydumber than when they opened the book.

FTFY.

Rowling at least had some measure of style even though it shifted a bit as the books got longer. She did manage to convey with words an alternate world of fantasy. I think most Rowling detractors did not attack her writing so much as they thought her stories were connected to devil worshipping. So her detractors left a lot to be desired in the intelligence department also. And who says Ulysses and War and Peace are unreadable? They are both brilliant, and challenging books yes. But they can be read and enjoyed. Joyce might take a bit more concentration that Tolstoy but they are readable.
 
2009-09-16 04:00:08 PM
Having just stolen this, getting a kick.

Not going to read, just wanted to see how easy it was to get.

"The skull was hollow, like a bowl, filled with bloodred wine."

bloodred? blood-red surely? (willing to be corrected).

This is the 3rd paragraph. hmmm
 
2009-09-16 04:01:55 PM
ds394: StaleCoffee: If someone reads 3 books in a year and a crappy book is one of them, it doesn't make it less crappy. I've never read more than a chapter or so of his books because I got bored and wandered off to other things so I won't personally attest to whether I think they're shiat or not, but telling a bunch of people to stuff their opinions up their collective ass because you think these novels have some intangible redeeming value is a big pile of horseshiat.

Seriously, are you ill???

I read the comics. I don't claim that by doing so I'm becoming one with the answer to life, the universe, and everything. But it's FUN.

For some people, Dan Brown is FUN. This is like people who argue that playing on a swing is useless because you don't go anywhere so you're not accomplishing anything. It's FUN.

I'm not telling people to stuff their opinions. I'm just saying:
1. Just because you don't like his writing doesn't mean other people don't.
2. Millions of people enjoy his books; but not one of them is here because, as I said, apparently everyone on Fark likes Chianti and Fava Beans. Isn't that amazing to you, too?
3. I STILL think it's good to read; no matter what it is. I remember when Harry Potter came out everyone said her writing was crap etc. Well, I was happy to see a block long line of kids waiting to get the book to read it.

I guess I'm more of a "live and let live" kind of a person.


1. Just because you like his writing doesn't mean other people do.

2. Just because other people find it tripe doesn't make them snobs.

3. Good for you.

You should have gone with "I think they're fun books" from the start, like a couple other people did. It's a much better argument, I think.

Live and let live? Sorry if I was a dick in there, but I'm going to be a dick again and ask if you really believe that after calling a bunch of people ITG's because they shiat on a popular novel?
 
2009-09-16 04:02:40 PM
Action Replay Nick: Dan Brown novels go on my short list of 'things that suck so bad, I won't even steal them.'
That made me laugh.

BlorfMaster: Dan Brown taught me I can jump out of an exploding helicopter and use a towel as a parachute to coast to safety.
When I read that part, I was just hoping it was some sort of homage to Douglas Adams (towel + "flying is easy: just fall down and forget to land"). otherwise... yeeeeesh.
 
2009-09-16 04:06:10 PM
greentea1985: The fact that these books do get people to read is a good thing. The history blended into Dan Brown's Langdon series makes people want to learn more about history.

I'll say this. da Vinci Code is the first book I picked up after I graduated from high school. In high school, I don't read books for leisure at all if they don't have pictures in it.

That started everything. Then I went to Dan Brown's other books, then I went to George R. R. Martin's books, then I got to Robert Jordan's books, Robin Hobbs, Michael A. Stackpole, Orson Scott Cards, Tadd Williams, Terry Prachett, etc... Then it spiraled actually to classics, histories, and mythologies.

So, yeah, I owed Dan Brown something, my lack of social life.
 
2009-09-16 04:06:46 PM
BesiktasBoy83: I've read DVC 20+ times and Fortress/Angels about 15 times each. I think anyone that doubts hes a great writer should just read his books.
Everytime you read them, DVC in paricular you find something new. I can't believe people attack him for being popular. Would you say the same for the Beatles, Elton John ect?
Millions of people love his books, they can't all be wrong, and before you jump in with so and so writer or so and so book, think about how many people read them...are they really that good if only a few people like them?
I can't wait to read the new book and I hope they catch the a____ thats done this


I lol'ed
 
2009-09-16 04:09:57 PM
Masso: greentea1985: The fact that these books do get people to read is a good thing. The history blended into Dan Brown's Langdon series makes people want to learn more about history.

I'll say this. da Vinci Code is the first book I picked up after I graduated from high school. In high school, I don't read books for leisure at all if they don't have pictures in it.

That started everything. Then I went to Dan Brown's other books, then I went to George R. R. Martin's books, then I got to Robert Jordan's books, Robin Hobbs, Michael A. Stackpole, Orson Scott Cards, Tadd Williams, Terry Prachett, etc... Then it spiraled actually to classics, histories, and mythologies.

So, yeah, I owed Dan Brown something, my lack of social life.


Congratulations. Seriously. Now if that happened to everyone that read a Dan Brown novel...
 
2009-09-16 04:16:49 PM
error 303: The only thing I've tried to read that was worse than a Dan Brown novel was Eragon.

That wound up in my fireplace in about 2 minutes. I think my actual quote was "this reads like it was written by a homeschooled 15 year old.".

I then wiki'ed it and found out that it was written by a homeschooled 15 year old.


God, no kidding. I got about 4 pages into that book before I had to flip to the About The Author page just to check out my suspicions. If I remember what I read there correctly, he has family members in the publishing industry, which is clearly the only reason he got published in the first place. And a movie, even. Way to win the genetic lottery, kid.
 
2009-09-16 04:17:02 PM
BesiktasBoy83:

Millions of people love his books, they can't all be wrong, and before you jump in with so and so writer or so and so book, think about how many people read them...are they really that good if only a few people like them?

So you thought Transformers 2 was a good movie, then, right? This is the WORST argument you could trot out in defense of any work.

And for crying out loud, why is there an article about this book being pirated? Of course it's being pirated.

You have no reasonable expectation that a bunch of words that take 5 seconds to download that is readily available for mass consumption will not find its way around the internet.
 
2009-09-16 04:17:59 PM
He should write a book with Nora Roberts.
 
2009-09-16 04:20:29 PM
Of course appealing to the lowest common denominator will result in huge sales. It's been the American Waytm for decades. It's the reason why we can't ever have nice things.

/torn between downloading just for teh lulz but not wanting to waste bandwidth on that trash
 
2009-09-16 04:21:26 PM
BalugaJoe: He should write a book with Nora Roberts.

Do you have anything by Robert Ludlum?
 
2009-09-16 04:21:41 PM
If only there were a book with a code in it he could use to find the culprit.
 
2009-09-16 04:21:49 PM
I have read two of his books. They were somewhat entertaining but they reminded me that the "NYT Best Seller list" is another way of saying "appeals to the lowest common denominator".
 
2009-09-16 04:22:17 PM
BalugaJoe: He should write a book with Nora Roberts.

I don't mind Nora Roberts. I nominate Debbie McComber - talk about mindless...
 
2009-09-16 04:22:47 PM
ChadM89: God, no kidding. I got about 4 pages into that book before I had to flip to the About The Author page just to check out my suspicions. If I remember what I read there correctly, he has family members in the publishing industry, which is clearly the only reason he got published in the first place. And a movie, even. Way to win the genetic lottery, kid.

I'm relieved I'm not the only one who felt this... I try really hard not to be a jerk when it comes to people liking things, but it's really really hard for me to take people seriously when they reccomend stuff like that without beginning 'well, this really isn't written very well, but i enjoyed it...'

Further, Dan Brown is not a good writer. At all. His books are by every literary metric except sales, terrible. This cannot be argued. If you enjoy his books, so be it, but they are not literature, they are consumable pop culture.
 
2009-09-16 04:29:03 PM
The self-preening and puffery in this thread is awesome.

Everybody feel self-important and superior now?

Typical liberals
 
2009-09-16 04:30:08 PM
Uwe Boll is set to direct "Digital Fortress" starring Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio and Ben Affleck. It will reportedly have guest directors Quentin Tarantino and Michael Bay.
 
2009-09-16 04:30:20 PM
bookman: The self-preening and puffery in this thread is awesome.

Everybody feel self-important and superior now?

Typical liberals


So conservatives are inferior?
 
2009-09-16 04:30:40 PM
I liked it better when it was a movie called American Treasure IX...and starred that guy with the bird on his head.
 
2009-09-16 04:30:43 PM
Angels&Demons and The DaVinci Code were at least entertaining reads, the kind that keep you busy on a plane. Digital Fortress, on the other hand, was terrible. No, Mr Brown, the a-bomb dropped on Nagasaki was not some special isotope of uranium or whatever the fark it was you claimed, it was indeed plutonium. Oh, and you don't know dick about encryption.
 
2009-09-16 04:31:41 PM
virtualchoirboy: I got your number on the wall!
I got it, I got it, I got it!
For a good time, for a good time call....


/whoosh...


idrow: Please, PLEASE tell me you're kidding.



NO MATTER HOW EASILY OBTAINED

img156.imageshack.us

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

 
2009-09-16 04:35:14 PM
Okay let me break this one down.
These people in this thread...so you walk past a busy restaruant and think 'oh that place must be terrible' and go to the place on the street with three customers?
You hear a song by Pearl Jam or the Rolling Stones and think 'well it's number one, it must suck'?
You see that Armani makes the best suits and think 'Oh they must be terrible clothes'?

You want to be cool and different. Well here's the story - you like things that suck for the sake of liking things that are unpopular. Oh you're so cooool.
 
2009-09-16 04:38:00 PM
magu2k: Uwe Boll is set to direct "Digital Fortress" starring Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio and Ben Affleck. It will reportedly have guest directors Quentin Tarantino and Michael Bay.

I've also heard rumours that the soundtrack to this gem will be performed entirely by Bono with sounds revolving around the sounds of him slapping his ass and farting.
 
2009-09-16 04:39:51 PM
BesiktasBoy83: You want to be cool and different. Well here's the story - you like things that suck for the sake of liking things that are unpopular. Oh you're so cooool.

You strike me as the kind of person who would say "I listen to all kinds of music except classical and jazz".

You have every right to enjoy a Dan Brown book, but if he is your definition of a good author, I really think you've lead a sheltered life...
 
2009-09-16 04:40:00 PM
StaleCoffee: Live and let live? Sorry if I was a dick in there, but I'm going to be a dick again and ask if you really believe that after calling a bunch of people ITG's because they shiat on a popular novel?

I was a bit overwhelmed with being 80 posts in and 78 negative comments about "how nobody could like his work". It's hard to get a count, but he sold over 60 million copes of Da Vinci Code. Hey, cool. Grandma liked it; good for her.

When I walk into a room and see nothing but one opinion*, I feel a little bit like we're missing something.

*unless it's a boobies thread; then there seems to be one generally accepted consensus and I agree with it.
 
2009-09-16 04:42:57 PM
error 303: BesiktasBoy83: You want to be cool and different. Well here's the story - you like things that suck for the sake of liking things that are unpopular. Oh you're so cooool.

You strike me as the kind of person who would say "I listen to all kinds of music except classical and jazz".

You have every right to enjoy a Dan Brown book, but if he is your definition of a good author, I really think you've lead a sheltered life...


I listen to classical but not jazz so much. Not sure what you mean by that. Sheltered? Sure if you call reading all of Patrick O'Brian's books in two languages sheltered... then yeah I'm 'sheltered' ;)
 
2009-09-16 04:46:05 PM
Oh boy, a new Dan Brown novel!

Sorry, I mean, "oh boy, the same damn Dan Brown novel we've all read twice already."
 
2009-09-16 04:50:28 PM
Some sick bastard put Dan Brown's new novel on the internet for some damn reason or other

Its a conspiracy, I betcha!
 
2009-09-16 04:51:27 PM
Dan Brown novels suck as a general rule, but I have to say that Digital Fortress carried it to another level. That was the most poorly written piece of crap that I've ever read.

What made it even worse was that I read it not long after I'd finished a really good book about computers, cryptography, and code-breaking (Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon).
 
2009-09-16 04:52:50 PM
BesiktasBoy83: Okay let me break this one down.
These people in this thread...so you walk past a busy restaruant and think 'oh that place must be terrible' and go to the place on the street with three customers?
You hear a song by Pearl Jam or the Rolling Stones and think 'well it's number one, it must suck'?
You see that Armani makes the best suits and think 'Oh they must be terrible clothes'?

You want to be cool and different. Well here's the story - you like things that suck for the sake of liking things that are unpopular. Oh you're so cooool.


It is more than wanting to like things that suck and hating things because they are popular.

It is a matter of exposure and true appreciation.

Take myself for example. I enjoy stand-up comedy. I enjoy it quite a bit. I have seen tons of it over the years, I watch just about whatever I can get my hands on. When I say I don't consider someone to be "good", sometimes it is personal taste but sometimes it is because I have seen so much that whatever it is they do isn't all that creative, innovative or thought provoking. Sometimes very popular comedians aren't any of those things. I will pick a favorite fark whipping boy: Larry the Cable guy. Larry is a VERY popular comic. He is also pathetic to most who really appreciate comedy.


Fist of all, the ignorant racist homophobic schtick is pretty shallow. It is the lowest of the low hanging fruit to get a laugh. Not that there is anything wrong with some low level humor now and again but it isn't "quality".

On top of that the entire southern redneck bit is an act. Quick google searches will tell you a lot about the man.

I don't dislike him because he is deceptive. I dislike him because very little of what he does or says is creative, innovative or thought provoking.

But the average person who watches and likes a little stand-up now and then

I am not right just because I watch a lot of stand-up but most people who watch a lot will agree.

Same thing with music, wine, books or any other form of art. Most people who don't like what is the most popular don't say it to sound edgy (although it is true some do). Most people who pass on the most popular generally have had greater exposure to the artform and understand it better. It is harder to impress them.
 
2009-09-16 04:59:04 PM
colden46i>Digital Fortress, on the other hand, was terrible.

Pssst, wanna know a secret?
Do you know the term "prime difference"? That's sometimes used to refer to - you won't believe this! - the difference of primes. But who would have thought of Math when looking for a number? Awesome!!



/ Help! The hackers have weakened the FTP filters protecting our database! Only the last layer is left! If the bad guys continue their onslaught, they'll have punched through that last shield in three minutes, tops!
// Thank God Dan Brown had the help of "two faceless ex-NSA employees contacting him via anonymous remailers or the book couldn't have been written"!
 
2009-09-16 05:01:42 PM
Dan Brown is the literary equivalent of reality television.
 
2009-09-16 05:03:11 PM
The Voice of Doom: colden46i>Digital Fortress, on the other hand, was terrible.

Pssst, wanna know a secret?
Do you know the term "prime difference"? That's sometimes used to refer to - you won't believe this! - the difference of primes. But who would have thought of Math when looking for a number? Awesome!!



/ Help! The hackers have weakened the FTP filters protecting our database! Only the last layer is left! If the bad guys continue their onslaught, they'll have punched through that last shield in three minutes, tops!
// Thank God Dan Brown had the help of "two faceless ex-NSA employees contacting him via anonymous remailers or the book couldn't have been written"!


I can at least agree that Digital Fortress truly sucks.

/OMG SPOILER

After all the hubbub...
"3" What the hell is that?
"3"? That's the super uber code?
 
2009-09-16 05:05:03 PM
BesiktasBoy83: I've read DVC 20+ times and Fortress/Angels about 15 times each. I think anyone that doubts he's a great writer should just read his books.
Everytime you read them, (DVC in paricular) you find something new. I can't believe people attack him for being popular. Would you say the same for the Beatles, Elton John, ect?
Millions of people love his books, they can't all be wrong, and before you jump in with so and so writer or so and so book, think about how many people read them...are they really that good if only a few people like them?
I can't wait to read the new book and I hope they catch the a____ thats done this


A.) How can you read so much and yet have such poor punctuation?
B.) Yes, millions of people can be wrong.

The brain gets stronger with exercise. Strong brains require strong books. Dan Brown is weak.
 
2009-09-16 05:05:21 PM
The Voice of Doom: / Help! The hackers have weakened the FTP filters protecting our database! Only the last layer is left! If the bad guys continue their onslaught, they'll have punched through that last shield in three minutes, tops!

Please tell me this is hyperbole and this isn't actually in the book.

Please?
 
2009-09-16 05:06:02 PM
Githerax: The brain gets stronger with exercise. Strong brains require strong books. Dan Brown is weak.

You said it better here than I did with my whole soapbox speech.
 
2009-09-16 05:06:17 PM
Masso
"3"? That's the super uber code?

That reminds me: I'll have to change the combination on my luggage.
 
2009-09-16 05:07:04 PM
Don't get me wrong, his books aren't all that surprising (especially after you read a couple), nor are they the best written, but no way in hell do they deserve all the criticism they get.

Considering how the book industry is one that generally loses money, and is a tax break to parent companies, when a book comes along that basically makes a billion dollars, it allows other books to be published that might not otherwise.

What this is really about, a lot of people like to feel superior because "I read and you don't." Now that millions have read this book, they still need to feel superior, but now its "you read, but not what I read."

This isn't Punk music, its a good thing when something is successful and has mass appeal.
 
2009-09-16 05:07:43 PM
People...there's worse out there....much worse...

www.harpercollins.com
 
2009-09-16 05:07:43 PM
I can't get through a page of Dan Brown without thinking of a Law & Order script. :\
 
2009-09-16 05:08:33 PM
So when is the next Tom Robbins novel coming out?
 
2009-09-16 05:12:14 PM
BlorfMaster: People...there's worse out there....much worse...
I call and raise you this.
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2009-09-16 05:13:14 PM
jst3p
Please tell me this is hyperbole and this isn't actually in the book.

Please?


Oh boy. Oh no.

Maybe I'll find that thread where I posted excerpts of the last 50 or so pages where the best cryptographers of the world try to find a numeric code that's a "prime difference" without thinking of prime numbers.

Those pages are chock full of FTP and "X-eleven" filters, that are part of the five layers of shields around the main NSA database that is "circled by hackers like sharks".
They even have a big display at the NSA where those shields and all the circling hackers are displayed.

Maybe I can find it again; must have been this year on the Showbiz tab.


/the bit about the "faceless NSA employees behind anonymous remailers" is the dedication at the beginning of the book
 
2009-09-16 05:14:21 PM
It is kinda dickheadish to put them up on the web, though.

/thinks Dan Brown blows
//but also thinks if you don't like him, don't download it. If you do like him, support him by buying it.
 
2009-09-16 05:15:41 PM
Cormee: Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I've read DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and Deception Point. I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

There's some sort of infinite loop of stupidity going on in that statement.


I have to agree. I've felt the same way about John Grisham.
 
2009-09-16 05:17:27 PM
The Voice of Doom: jst3p
Please tell me this is hyperbole and this isn't actually in the book.

Please?

Oh boy. Oh no.

Maybe I'll find that thread where I posted excerpts of the last 50 or so pages where the best cryptographers of the world try to find a numeric code that's a "prime difference" without thinking of prime numbers.

Those pages are chock full of FTP and "X-eleven" filters, that are part of the five layers of shields around the main NSA database that is "circled by hackers like sharks".
They even have a big display at the NSA where those shields and all the circling hackers are displayed.

Maybe I can find it again; must have been this year on the Showbiz tab.


/the bit about the "faceless NSA employees behind anonymous remailers" is the dedication at the beginning of the book


I have neither a big enough face nor a big enough palm for this....

Reminds me of:

"This is a unix system! I know this!"
www.ugo.com
 
2009-09-16 05:21:31 PM
BesiktasBoy83: Okay let me break this one down.
These people in this thread...so you walk past a busy restaruant and think 'oh that place must be terrible' and go to the place on the street with three customers?
You hear a song by Pearl Jam or the Rolling Stones and think 'well it's number one, it must suck'?
You see that Armani makes the best suits and think 'Oh they must be terrible clothes'?

You want to be cool and different. Well here's the story - you like things that suck for the sake of liking things that are unpopular. Oh you're so cooool.


No, you try one and if it's good you go back. Then you try the other and if it's good you go back. If they both suck then they both suck.
 
2009-09-16 05:23:05 PM
Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I've read DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and Deception Point. I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

I haven't read his books, but I saw DaVinci Code. It was a good movie. Perhaps that is the key. Unlike any other literary to cinema endeavor, people should probably be encouraged to not read the book.
 
2009-09-16 05:26:16 PM
By the way, if people want to read a novel about that deals, like The Da Vinci Code, with secret societies and ancient conspiracy theories, but is well-written and thoughtful and intelligent, may I suggest this one:

www.sfsite.com
 
2009-09-16 05:29:32 PM
Phone_Answering_Monkey

.........wow. Dude! If there's one thing you never expect to hear about. Ever play the DOS game? I just found the manual for it the other day.


Maybe I should have been clearer, all of His books after the novel Flight Of The Old Dog. as for games, I'm enjoying Fallout 3 thank you *grin*
 
2009-09-16 05:32:44 PM
Masso 2009-09-16 05:03:11 PM
The Voice of Doom: colden46i>Digital Fortress, on the other hand, was terrible.

[...]

I can at least agree that Digital Fortress truly sucks.

/OMG SPOILER

After all the hubbub...
"3" What the hell is that?
"3"? That's the super uber code?


We all know the answer is 43, not 3.

/thanks for all the fish
 
2009-09-16 05:35:06 PM
EvilEgg: Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

Because it is mind candy. Candy is fun, tasty, and not bad in moderation, you don't want to make a steady diet of it. Same thing with these books, you can breeze through them without really having to make an effort.

The most popular genre of fiction is romance. How many of those novels would anyone qualify as "good" or even memorable?


I'm sorry but most people who read often, are often educated and cultured enough that they won't be caught dead reading a Dan Brown novel.

/also surprised that so many people think that just because something is popular, it HAS to be good
 
2009-09-16 05:37:40 PM
jst3p
Reminds me of:

"This is a unix system! I know this!"


Yeah, close. :)
But I think it's more like this


Following are excerpts from the book. The NSA is definitely running "Movie OS 2.0 (tm)".
Read and weep:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We've got a five-tier level of defense," Jabba explained. "A primary Bastion Host, two sets of packet filters for FTP and X-eleven, a tunnel block, and finally a PEM-based authorization window right off the Truffle project. The outside shield that's disappearing represents the exposed host. It's practically gone. Within the hour, all five shields will follow. After that, the world pours in. Every byte of NSA data becomes public domain."

[..]

Fontaine gazed up at the screen and watched the first of the five walls disappear entirely.
"Bastion Host is toast!" a technician yelled from the back of the room. "Second shield's exposed!"

[..]


"Losing FTP filters!" a voice yelled."Third shield's exposed!"
There was a new flurry of activity.

[..]

"X-eleven's are down!" a technican called out. "This bad boy's hungry!"

[..]

"Final shield under attack!"
On the VR, the PEM authorization programming was now being consumed. Black, penetrating lines engulfed the final protective shield and began forcing their way towards its core.
Prowling hackers were now appearing from all over the world. The number was doubling almost every minute. Before long, anyone with a computer - foreign spies, radicals, terrorists - would have access to all of the U.S. government's classified information.
As technicians tried vainly to sever power, the..

[..]


"How much time?" Jabba demanded from the podium.
There was no response from the technicians in the back. They stood riveted, staring up at the VR. The final shield was getting dangerously thin.


-----------------------------------------------
And now for the finale.
From chapter 127, without the "prime difference" riddling and trying out codes until they find the solution (which is "3")
---------------------------------------


On the VR, the final firewall was only a sliver. A mass of blackness surrounded it, hundreds of lines waiting to tie in.
[..]
"Incoming lines preparing to authenticate!"
[..]
"Company at the door!"
Jabba stared at the screen. "Here we go!" Sweat poured down on his face.
On the center screen, the final wisp of the last firewall had all but disappeared. The black mass of lines surrounding the core was opaque and pulsating. Midge turned away. Fontaine stood rigid, eyes front. Brinkerhoff looked like he was about to get sick.
"Ten seconds!"
[..]
A technician began the countdown. "Five! Four! Three!
[..]
"We're down!" a technician yelled.
The VR began flashing wildly as the core succumbed to the deluge. Sirens erupted overhead.
Outbound data!
High-speed tie-ins in all sectors!

[..]
The sirens kept going. Five Seconds, Six seconds.
"Outbound data!"
"No change!"
Suddenly Midge began pointing wildly to the screen above. "Look!"
On it, a message had materialized.

KILL CODE CONFIRMED

"Upload the firewalls!" Jabba ordered.
But Soshi was a step ahead of him. She had already sent the command.
"Outbound interrupt!" a technician yelled.
"Tie-ins severed!
On the VR overhead, the first of the five firewalls began reappearing. The black lines attacking the core were instantly severed.
"Reinstating!" Jabba cried. "The damn thing's reinstating!"
There was a moment of tentative disbelief, as if at any instant, everything would fall apart. But then the second firewall began reappearing...and then the third. Moments later the entire series of filters reappeared. The databank was secure.


 
2009-09-16 05:39:22 PM
magu2k: magu2k: Uwe Boll is set to direct "Digital Fortress" starring Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio and Ben Affleck. It will reportedly have guest directors Quentin Tarantino and Michael Bay.

I've also heard rumours that the soundtrack to this gem will be performed entirely by Bono with sounds revolving around the sounds of him slapping his ass and farting.




Phew! I thought he was gonna sing for a minute there...
 
2009-09-16 05:40:52 PM
raptusregaliter:

//soooooooo overrated
/I can write better tripe


do it or shut up
 
2009-09-16 05:43:47 PM
The Voice of Doom: Following are excerpts from the book. The NSA is definitely running "Movie OS 2.0 (tm)".
Read and weep:


hehe
hahaha
BAHAHAHAHAHA

*wipes a tear*
 
2009-09-16 05:47:13 PM
I think the literature snob thread is easily twice as stupid ghey fresh as a beer snob thread. Perhaps because they are fewer and farther between. But probably more likely that the people involved think their book learning is finally about to get them laid.
 
2009-09-16 05:48:03 PM
4chan: raptusregaliter:

//soooooooo overrated
/I can write better tripe

do it or shut up


According to Wikipedia that is precisely how Brown started. He was reading some wordplop by Sidney Sheldon, who makes Brown look like Philip Roth, and said to his wife "I could do better than this."

So, "put up or shut up" isn't an insult. It's a challenge.
 
2009-09-16 05:50:30 PM
Masso: BlorfMaster: People...there's worse out there....much worse...
I call and raise you this.


Dear God...I could at least finish Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons. I tried reading that (Mom sent it to me since I read a lot of Templar/Masonic history). When it reached the point where the woman knows she shouldn't go somewhere alone, but does anyway (the text actually says it that way), I had to give it up.
 
2009-09-16 05:52:09 PM
People who read his novels let alone buy them can't even operate ballpoint pens so his profit margin will be unaffected.
 
2009-09-16 05:53:31 PM
trappedspirit: Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I've read DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and Deception Point. I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

I haven't read his books, but I saw DaVinci Code. It was a good movie. Perhaps that is the key. Unlike any other literary to cinema endeavor, people should probably be encouraged to not read the book.


I finally saw the movie about 4 months ago. As a movie, it works somewhat. One of the few movies that turn out better than the book its based on.

/National Treasure was still better.
//While it's internal mythology was flawed, it stayed true to itself all the way through.
 
2009-09-16 05:56:19 PM
Teddy Bear de Molay is not amused.


teddynation.com
 
2009-09-16 05:58:52 PM
ExperianScaresCthulhu: TwistedIvory: I read Angels and Demons right after it was released before I'd heard any hype about it (I picked it up after the cover blurb sounded interesting at a bookstore).

Immediately I was disappointed.

And then Dan Brown became mega-popular, and I was even more disappointed.

Nice riff on the style, ha. Brown is better than Turtledove. That's all that matters to me.

/I hate Turtledove. Hate him, hate him, hate him.
//I love Barbara Hambly.
///John Ringo is an asshole who obviously hates women and the real Jesus Christ.
/Dan Brown is readable, and isn't the only writer to suffer from 'screenplayitis' elchip talks about above. His books being interchangeable reminds me of 'Bag of Bones'... maybe Mr. Brown is in a slump and is just doling out from his emergency stack until he's out of his slump.


Ok, you called Brown better than Turtledove, you lost all credibility right there.

Barbara Hambly is a hack.

John Ringo may very well be an asshole, I've never seen any evidence of him hating women at all and he seems to have a firm grasp of various religions.

The fact that Brown writes to a template isn't a problem. Its the ludicrous things he wants you to suspend belief on. Deception Point (new window) for example. The plot holes you could pilot a 747 through etc...
 
2009-09-16 05:59:34 PM
TwistedIvory: I read Angels and Demons right after it was released before I'd heard any hype about it (I picked it up after the cover blurb sounded interesting at a bookstore).

Immediately I was disappointed.

And then Dan Brown became mega-popular, and I was even more disappointed.


I read it because I was on a long flight and found it in the seat pocket. I'd never heard of him before, but thought I was extremely lucky to find a free book just when I needed one.

I was wrong. Reading the in-flight magazine 20 times in a row would have been more fulfilling.
 
2009-09-16 06:10:04 PM
I'm glad to see people reading.

I'm sad when they rave how "Da Vinci Code" is the best book they've ever read.
 
2009-09-16 06:12:17 PM
Cockpuncher to the Stars: TwistedIvory: I read Angels and Demons right after it was released before I'd heard any hype about it (I picked it up after the cover blurb sounded interesting at a bookstore).

Immediately I was disappointed.

And then Dan Brown became mega-popular, and I was even more disappointed.

I read it because I was on a long flight and found it in the seat pocket. I'd never heard of him before, but thought I was extremely lucky to find a free book just when I needed one.

I was wrong. Reading the in-flight magazine 20 times in a row would have been more fulfilling.


I bet you wanted to cockpunch the passenger who left it to the stars, huh?
 
2009-09-16 06:14:06 PM
Raskolnikov2089: I'm glad to see people reading.

I'm sad when they rave how "Da Vinci Code" is the best book they've ever read.


Why waste time reading? There isn't anything books can teach you that TV can't teach you 10 times faster.
 
2009-09-16 06:16:12 PM
Doc Daneeka: By the way, if people want to read a novel about that deals, like The Da Vinci Code, with secret societies and ancient conspiracy theories, but is well-written and thoughtful and intelligent, may I suggest this one:

Excellent book. Bad intro sentence.
 
2009-09-16 06:17:36 PM
Never read Dan Brown fully, I downloaded an audio book, cause I thought it might be alright for something to listen to while walking, deleted it after listening for about 45 minutes, so I cant critique his work, I just know it's not something I find interesting or compelling.

Off-Topic Rant about 'Blindness'.
Same with that 'Blindness' book by that foreign guy. Got 1/3 of the way through and totally lost all interest, I don't know what world that book is suppose to take place in, but it's not earth. 250 random people in a hospital and they all have watches that require winding? Really? Not a single digital watch? The whole "nobody has names because names are unimportant if everyone is blind" conceit is baffling as well. Not to mention that it reads like it was written in a foreign language and translated by babelfish.com. "I kicked that man because he was touching me up." And the characters have the personality of robots, "I cry because I am sad, I have no watch, and in a world of the blind what need is there for such a device anyway.", yeah that sounds totally natural. That book made me want to punch the author in the face. And don't even get me started on 'The Time Travelers Wife'
 
2009-09-16 06:23:24 PM
Ghola Kwisatz Haderach: Cockpuncher to the Stars: TwistedIvory: I read Angels and Demons right after it was released before I'd heard any hype about it (I picked it up after the cover blurb sounded interesting at a bookstore).

Immediately I was disappointed.

And then Dan Brown became mega-popular, and I was even more disappointed.

I read it because I was on a long flight and found it in the seat pocket. I'd never heard of him before, but thought I was extremely lucky to find a free book just when I needed one.

I was wrong. Reading the in-flight magazine 20 times in a row would have been more fulfilling.

I bet you wanted to cockpunch the passenger who left it to the stars, huh?


Yes. But then I left it in the pocket for the next passenger, so I presume it broke even.
 
2009-09-16 06:24:23 PM
jst3p: Reminds me of:

"This is a unix system! I know this!"


IIRC, it actually was Unix. I think it was an experimental Solaris interface someone developed. Hold on, lemme see here...

Close, but no cigar. Here's a quick ref:

Indeed, it was an SGI machine at which that girl (Lex?) uttered this phrase that made geeks in the audience say dude and sweet. (All the computers in Jurassic Park were SGIs or 68k Macintoshes) While it might have seemed that the interface she used on the SGI machine was Hollywoodware, it actually does exist. It was an IRIX-only program produced by SGI called fsn (pronounced 'fusion', short for 3D File System Navigator). If you have an IRIX system, you can actually download and run this program right on your box. Grab it from this URL:

http://www.sgi.com/fun/freeware/3d_navigator.html
 
2009-09-16 06:29:13 PM
Doc Daneeka: By the way, if people want to read a novel about that deals, like The Da Vinci Code, with secret societies and ancient conspiracy theories, but is well-written and thoughtful and intelligent, may I suggest this one:

There's only one (or three) book I know of that deals with secret societies and conspiracy theories in a thoughtful and intelligent way that I know of:
esvaziando.files.wordpress.com

The only intelligent reaction to conspiracy theories is mockery.
 
2009-09-16 06:29:48 PM
Damn redundant redundancy.
 
2009-09-16 07:32:26 PM
Will the famous man look at the red cup again?
 
2009-09-16 07:40:41 PM
CommandantVonThrash: The only intelligent reaction to conspiracy theories is mockery.

You are obviously one of them.
 
2009-09-16 09:09:28 PM
Am I the only one that sees (or cares) that the cover of his new book, has one of Fark's banned pictures on the cover?

i217.photobucket.com

He's loose in DC!
 
2009-09-16 09:23:09 PM
Cat F Cat F: Am I the only one that sees (or cares) that the cover of his new book, has one of Fark's banned pictures on the cover?



He's loose in DC!


I just spat tea all over my new laptop you (glorious) bastard!
 
2009-09-16 09:24:37 PM
Raskolnikov2089: I'm glad to see people reading.

I'm sad when they rave how "Da Vinci Code"
Twilight is the best book they've ever read.

FTFM...I work at a university, so I hear this more often. Including from my student workers, who are otherwise, thoughtful, intelligent girls.
 
2009-09-16 09:56:26 PM
Hurrah for 0Day! Unfortunately, not for this release.
 
2009-09-16 09:56:37 PM
Cat F Cat F
Am I the only one that sees (or cares) that the cover of his new book, has one of Fark's banned pictures on the cover?

Took me a moment, but..damn, you're right.
 
2009-09-16 10:06:05 PM
Cat F Cat F: Am I the only one that sees (or cares) that the cover of his new book, has one of Fark's banned pictures on the cover?



He's loose in DC!


I see it now.
images.cheezburger.com
/so wrong
//yet so fitting
 
2009-09-16 10:14:57 PM
Cat F Cat F: Am I the only one that sees (or cares) that the cover of his new book, has one of Fark's banned pictures on the cover?



He's loose in DC!


What? It's just a picture of a goat, see?
 
2009-09-16 10:40:40 PM
Some sick bastard published Dan Brown's new novel.
 
2009-09-16 11:43:04 PM
Who is Dan Brown and who the fark cares that his book was leaked onto the net?

If Fark greenlit every thread about something stupid being posted on the internet, this website would eat itself.
 
2009-09-16 11:49:05 PM
Cat F Cat F: Am I the only one that sees (or cares) that the cover of his new book, has one of Fark's banned pictures on the cover?



He's loose in DC!


Bravo! well played!
 
2009-09-17 12:59:00 AM
PSA tag was broken?
 
2009-09-17 01:17:06 AM
just_another_asshole/jaa: So lets check this out. So many Dan Brown haters. Must be a bunch of literary critics with degrees to come out with such clear reasons for hating him, oh yeah not one real criticism. "I don't like him" doesn't count. How many of you haters have written any books? None! Hell, how many can write a coherent sentence? Sounds like a bunch of basement dwellers with serious jealousy issues!

Brown writes good escapist entertainment for folks that enjoy a quick relaxing read and are not looking for anything deeper. " Angels and demons" is good right up to the helicopter stunt which pushed believability way off the scale! But, the book kept one guessing all the way to the end, and isn't that the goal of mysteries?


Huh? Does reading Dan Brown make people incoherent or is that all you?

I think most people have pointed out that his writing is terrible and plot lines are even worse, which is something you basically acknowledged when you said sometimes people just want be entertained. There is a difference between a good book and a quick read, not that there is anything wrong with either types. But people are not mocking it for it's entertainment value, because clearly as you stated that is all this book is. They are criticizing it for it's inability to add anything meaningful. Yea, I could watch an episode of The Hills, but you wouldn't see me trying to defend it as anything more than 30 minutes of trash (which describes his novels as well, coincidentally).
 
2009-09-17 01:24:33 AM
teke367: Don't get me wrong, his books aren't all that surprising (especially after you read a couple), nor are they the best written, but no way in hell do they deserve all the criticism they get.

Considering how the book industry is one that generally loses money, and is a tax break to parent companies, when a book comes along that basically makes a billion dollars, it allows other books to be published that might not otherwise.

What this is really about, a lot of people like to feel superior because "I read and you don't." Now that millions have read this book, they still need to feel superior, but now its "you read, but not what I read."

This isn't Punk music, its a good thing when something is successful and has mass appeal.


See I used to think that reading something is better than not reading anything at all, but I do not think that is right anymore. If you read People magazine, for example, you are exposed to writing that is more like conversational speech (simple sentences and vocabulary)and content that is not challenging. While it may be entertaining, I don't think the fact that it is being read adds ANYTHING. I don't have a list of genres and books that I think are more valuable, but if your 6 year old can read the book and understand it, it probably is not for you.
 
2009-09-17 03:34:19 AM
www.digitalaudiovideo.com
 
Nib
2009-09-17 07:00:30 AM
The Da Vinci Code sucked.
 
2009-09-17 10:02:54 AM
raptusregaliter: The Russian writers are all pretty depressing but they're good pieces of literature (poor Russia... they thought they had it bad with the Tsars; Stalin made them look like choirboys)... but the Russians had/have plenty to be depressed about.

I tackled Tolstoy and Dostoevsky at one point and retreated to Barbara Taylor Bradford's la-la-land to keep myself from being clinically depressed. :)


Would you like a piece of pie? It is a very good pie.
 
2009-09-17 10:04:34 AM
Ok, enough of this.

Dan Brown is popular, yes...but his writing is atrocious. His characters have all the substance of wet pizza box, his plots are predictable, and his descriptions simplistic are simplistic at best.

Anyone who has actually spent any time actually, you know, READING books and stories from different authors develops the ability to be able to separate the good stuff from, well, everything else. This isn't to say that a writer must be flawless, sometimes his flaws are part of his style (i'm looking at you, H.P.), but when a writer is ALL flaw, well...even calling it a popcorn flick of a book isn't enough to either justify the cost and effort to print the damn thing, or for you to not appear as a drooling moron.

tl:dr - Dan Brown is a hack, quit giving him money.

/also goes for the eragon and twilight series
//J.K. Rowling does a decent job, but needed a better editor.
 
2009-09-17 10:04:43 AM
BlippityBleep: Of course appealing to the lowest common denominator will result in huge sales. It's been the American Waytm for decades. It's the reason why we can't ever have nice things.

Agree. It's like buying Ford cars and trucks.
 
2009-09-17 11:10:48 AM
If anyone wants a free copy of The Da Vinci Code, you one I threw out of the train windown near Southampton Airport Parkway station in England could well still be there.

Just sayin'.

It's like Scooby Doo for people who didn't listen at school
 
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