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(Guardian)   Some sick bastard put Dan Brown's new novel on the internet for some damn reason or other   (guardian.co.uk) divider line 242
    More: Sick, Dan Brown, The Lost Symbol, Lost Symbol, pirates, novels, JK Rowling, Robert Langdon, bookstore  
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26790 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Sep 2009 at 2:15 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-09-16 10:51:00 AM
Being forced to read any of his crap books would definitely make me sick.
 
2009-09-16 11:09:36 AM
I'm willing to bet that it's the same damn story. Langdon's colleague is murdered in some way, and he is sent on a goose chase through a historical city to uncover the mystery of a secret society before it's too late. He'll be helped out by an attractive, single female relative or colleague of the slain friend, who will be necessary to thwart the forces of corruption that are impeding his journey.

/amirite?
 
2009-09-16 11:13:33 AM
Dan Brown novels go on my short list of 'things that suck so bad, I won't even steal them.'
 
2009-09-16 11:16:14 AM
Hyppy: I'm willing to bet that it's the same damn story. Langdon's colleague is murdered in some way, and he is sent on a goose chase through a historical city to uncover the mystery of a secret society before it's too late. He'll be helped out by an attractive, single female relative or colleague of the slain friend, who will be necessary to thwart the forces of corruption that are impeding his journey.

/amirite?


I read the book yesterday. That's about it, except for one detail.
 
2009-09-16 11:21:45 AM
I've read DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and Deception Point. I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

I really wish that Brad Meltzers would get this sort of attention. It's almost as if they were tailor made to be adapted in summer blockbusters.
 
2009-09-16 11:23:53 AM
It's a clue.

This is exciting!
 
2009-09-16 11:28:56 AM
I read Angels and Demons right after it was released before I'd heard any hype about it (I picked it up after the cover blurb sounded interesting at a bookstore).

Immediately I was disappointed.

And then Dan Brown became mega-popular, and I was even more disappointed.
 
2009-09-16 11:29:25 AM
I wonder if maybe the reason Brown and his books are so popular is just because they are? It's a self fulfilling prophecy, everyone thinks it's shiat, but because he's popular they know everyone else will buy it and they don't want to be left out of the loop, so 100m people buy it because they want to be able to join in conversation about it.
 
2009-09-16 11:58:41 AM
Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I've read DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and Deception Point. I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

There's some sort of infinite loop of stupidity going on in that statement.
 
2009-09-16 12:28:18 PM
We spend the summer watching idiots at town hall meetings, Glenn Beck is considered a leading news/political commentator, tons of trailer trash think they somehow have something in common with rich Republicans, and Rush Limbaugh on national radio compares racism with homosexuality and nobody bats an eye. And you wonder why Dan Brown's novels sell so well and why he is so popular? I think the next movie they make about Langdon should include a scene of his living quarters in his mom's basement with the tinfoil hat present in the foreground.
 
2009-09-16 12:29:28 PM
Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

Because it is mind candy. Candy is fun, tasty, and not bad in moderation, you don't want to make a steady diet of it. Same thing with these books, you can breeze through them without really having to make an effort.

The most popular genre of fiction is romance. How many of those novels would anyone qualify as "good" or even memorable?
 
2009-09-16 01:00:43 PM
EvilEgg: Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

Because it is mind candy. Candy is fun, tasty, and not bad in moderation, you don't want to make a steady diet of it. Same thing with these books, you can breeze through them without really having to make an effort.

The most popular genre of fiction is romance. How many of those novels would anyone qualify as "good" or even memorable?




I see your point. People read Dan Brown to feel like they are reading some intelligent rather than having to actually read something intelligent.

/kinda like volunteering at a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving and fancying yourself a humanitarian
 
2009-09-16 01:10:32 PM
Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I've read DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and Deception Point. I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

I really wish that Brad Meltzers would get this sort of attention. It's almost as if they were tailor made to be adapted in summer blockbusters.


I think Brown would make a decent Hollywood scriptwriter.

His novels read like screenplays. They have potential to be made into good films, but they never had a very good director at the helm.
 
2009-09-16 02:17:41 PM
Slaxl: I wonder if maybe the reason Brown and his books are so popular is just because they are? It's a self fulfilling prophecy, everyone thinks it's shiat, but because he's popular they know everyone else will buy it and they don't want to be left out of the loop, so 100m people buy it because they want to be able to join in conversation about it.

"A bestseller is a book that sells well because it is selling well."

/I think that's from Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
//and if it isn't, it should be
 
2009-09-16 02:19:34 PM
elchip: Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I've read DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and Deception Point. I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

I really wish that Brad Meltzers would get this sort of attention. It's almost as if they were tailor made to be adapted in summer blockbusters.

I think Brown would make a decent Hollywood scriptwriter.

His novels read like screenplays. They have potential to be made into good films, but they never had a very good director at the helm.


When I read DaVinci code that was my exact impression. The whole "They opened the door and gasped at what they saw inside..." artificial suspense thing read like he was hoping it'd be made into a TV miniseries (Tune in next week to find out what was so damn shocking, folks!"

Guy's a crappy author. Why he's such a hit is beyond me.
 
2009-09-16 02:19:43 PM
Action Replay Nick: Dan Brown novels go on my short list of 'things that suck so bad, I won't even steal them.'

This.

I won't even waste the electricity.
 
2009-09-16 02:19:59 PM
I actually liked the The Da Vinci Code, So i'm really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

/the two newest ones though.. every repost is repost repost
 
2009-09-16 02:21:01 PM
Action Replay Nick: Dan Brown novels go on my short list of 'things that suck so bad, I won't even steal them.'

I don't need that cluttering up my hard drive when I could be using that space for shemale vids.

/what?
 
2009-09-16 02:22:19 PM
Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I've read DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and Deception Point. I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

I really wish that Brad Meltzers would get this sort of attention. It's almost as if they were tailor made to be adapted in summer blockbusters.

LCD
//least common denominater
 
2009-09-16 02:22:39 PM
damn... would download just for research purposes... anyone have a safe link?
 
2009-09-16 02:23:15 PM
Prove your daily routine isn't as predictable as a Dan Brown novel.
 
2009-09-16 02:23:43 PM
What, no Patterson?
 
2009-09-16 02:23:57 PM
Isn't there enough crap clogging up the 'tubes already?
 
2009-09-16 02:24:01 PM
As long as he doesn't throw a hissy fit like the Mormon broad who writes the Twilight bullshiat, it's all good.
 
2009-09-16 02:24:11 PM
The only thing I've tried to read that was worse than a Dan Brown novel was Eragon.

That wound up in my fireplace in about 2 minutes. I think my actual quote was "this reads like it was written by a homeschooled 15 year old.".

I then wiki'ed it and found out that it was written by a homeschooled 15 year old.
 
2009-09-16 02:24:16 PM
I was read the first few chapters and, in the story, this guy calls up Langdon and leaves his phone number and Dan Brown writes out an actual number, instead of a 555 fake one, and repeats it a couple times. So I called it.
Some lady answered. I think she sells crackers or something. I dunno. But the lady should sue the publisher.
 
2009-09-16 02:24:28 PM
Hyppy: I'm willing to bet that it's the same damn story. Langdon's colleague is murdered in some way, and he is sent on a goose chase through a historical city to uncover the mystery of a secret society before it's too late. He'll be helped out by an attractive, single female relative or colleague of the slain friend, who will be necessary to thwart the forces of corruption that are impeding his journey.

/amirite?


You know, if Langdon's colleagues keep getting murdered, can they just write it in that he's the killer and get it over with?

Also, lock Dan Brown up and start committing the idiots that keep giving this guy book contracts?
 
2009-09-16 02:24:43 PM
farm1.static.flickr.com
 
2009-09-16 02:25:05 PM
I saw a snobby biatche with Mason badges on the back of her car yesterday.
Driving like a typical San Diego snobby biatche.
I felt a moral obligation to bury her under a corner stone.
 
2009-09-16 02:25:17 PM
Good! Disregarding the book's supposed importance to the publishing industry at the moment, the way it was being treated like the holy grail of books made me nauseous. That full-page announcement on Amazon was just ridiculous.
 
2009-09-16 02:25:19 PM
Slaxl: I wonder if maybe the reason Brown and his books are so popular is just because they are?

I read The DaVinci Code mostly because I knew a lot about the facts that the story is built on, and I think it's an interesting story pre-Dan Brown. His novel was good, it mixed fact and fiction just enough to create a journey that the reader joins in on.

The movies are another story. I think it's hard to make a movie about a book where most of what is going on is talking. But the books are decent.
 
2009-09-16 02:25:33 PM
His books are crap, but they're still not as bad as the dopes who wrote the Left Behind stories.
 
2009-09-16 02:25:59 PM
Schrodinger's Petting Zoo: I've read DaVinci Code, Angels & Demons, and Deception Point. I have no idea why he is so popular and why he keeps getting movies made.

When I read a book and decide I don't like the author's story/style, normally I'll just forego reading more of that author's books. There's lots of other stuff to read in this world. Maybe that's just me.
 
2009-09-16 02:26:11 PM
ExperianScaresCthulhu: As long as he doesn't throw a hissy fit like the Mormon broad who writes the Twilight bullshiat, it's all good.

Oh hell no, that was hilarious. When the lead actor from the movie version of your books is the person to leak plot/storylines from upcoming material, you know that:

A) It sucks
B) He's doing it for a paycheck, not because he things it's interesting.
 
2009-09-16 02:26:33 PM
Why read Dan Brown when you can read Umberto Eco?
 
2009-09-16 02:27:24 PM
jekostas: Also, lock Dan Brown up and start committing the idiots that keep giving this guy book contracts?

Since he keeps making them millions they will keep giving him contracts.

Dan Brown is fun, not all novels have to be deep and thoughtful. Do you have any idea how many novels Piers Anthony has sold?
 
2009-09-16 02:27:41 PM
persons of interest:
www.bibliotecapleyades.net
 
2009-09-16 02:28:07 PM
The guy is not a great writer. He has a knack for creating puzzles, which translates into little more than a gimmick. In other words, he's basically the literary version of M. Night Shamalayan (too lazy to look and see if I spelled that right).
 
2009-09-16 02:28:12 PM
Great, now the tubes are ruined.
 
2009-09-16 02:28:28 PM
*thinks

FTFM

EvilEgg: jekostas: Also, lock Dan Brown up and start committing the idiots that keep giving this guy book contracts?

Since he keeps making them millions they will keep giving him contracts.

Dan Brown is fun, not all novels have to be deep and thoughtful. Do you have any idea how many novels Piers Anthony has sold?


Just more proof of the continual retardification of America
 
2009-09-16 02:28:56 PM
" Some sick bastard..."

From Opus Dei? Or the Freemasons?
 
2009-09-16 02:29:31 PM
Is the idea of books being pirated supposed to be newsworthy now? It's nothing new. Some have hit the net before publication.
 
2009-09-16 02:29:46 PM
Imagine what would happen if Michael Bay directed a movie based on a Dan Brown book... the resulting vortex of suck would kill us all...
 
2009-09-16 02:30:17 PM
Not really as sick as posting swap.avi... but it's up there.
 
2009-09-16 02:30:24 PM
jwa007: We spend the summer watching idiots at town hall meetings, Glenn Beck is considered a leading news/political commentator, tons of trailer trash think they somehow have something in common with rich Republicans, and Rush Limbaugh on national radio compares racism with homosexuality and nobody bats an eye. And you wonder why Dan Brown's novels sell so well and why he is so popular? I think the next movie they make about Langdon should include a scene of his living quarters in his mom's basement with the tinfoil hat present in the foreground.

You're an idiot.
 
2009-09-16 02:31:09 PM
DOes it involve a dog who looks from side-to-side in a shifty manner?
 
2009-09-16 02:32:39 PM
jwa007: We spend the summer watching idiots at town hall meetings, Glenn Beck is considered a leading news/political commentator, tons of trailer trash think they somehow have something in common with rich Republicans, and Rush Limbaugh on national radio compares racism with homosexuality and nobody bats an eye. And you wonder why Dan Brown's novels sell so well and why he is so popular? I think the next movie they make about Langdon should include a scene of his living quarters in his mom's basement with the tinfoil hat present in the foreground.

And idiots like you try and say racism is inborn and not okay and yet somehow changeable and reversable are the same that agree that homosexuality is also inborn but NOT changeable and undesirable to change. And you are using that kind of logic as a way to discredit those who see the hypocracy?

Props to you troller trash, you got a hit.
 
2009-09-16 02:34:11 PM
TwistedIvory: I read Angels and Demons right after it was released before I'd heard any hype about it (I picked it up after the cover blurb sounded interesting at a bookstore).

Immediately I was disappointed.

And then Dan Brown became mega-popular, and I was even more disappointed.


Nice riff on the style, ha. Brown is better than Turtledove. That's all that matters to me.

/I hate Turtledove. Hate him, hate him, hate him.
//I love Barbara Hambly.
///John Ringo is an asshole who obviously hates women and the real Jesus Christ.
/Dan Brown is readable, and isn't the only writer to suffer from 'screenplayitis' elchip talks about above. His books being interchangeable reminds me of 'Bag of Bones'... maybe Mr. Brown is in a slump and is just doling out from his emergency stack until he's out of his slump.
 
2009-09-16 02:34:25 PM
Oh, these weren't your typical pirates. This is the work of the last scion of the Knights Templar working behind the scenes to advance the plans of an ancient sect of the Catholic church that is somehow tied into the persecution of Galileo; the exact timing and IP address of the posting will, if properly translated, reveal the location of a "Most Wondrous Scrying Mirror" developed by Galileo in secret, which he used to encode astronomical clues into a tome that's hidden somewhere in Venice, the contents of which have the potential to bring about the fall of the office of Pope.

Amirite?
 
2009-09-16 02:34:51 PM
dead_dangler: Imagine what would happen if Michael Bay directed a movie based on a Dan Brown book... the resulting vortex of suck would kill us all...

I dunno.. TEMPLAR EXPLOSIONS!!1! just sort of rolls off the tongue.
 
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