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(NYPost)   Madonna posing as the human pretzel for W magazine. With pic   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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40581 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Mar 2003 at 12:30 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

178 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-03-10 12:46:10 PM  
03-10-03 08:48:46 AM SuperCMC
That is what 20+ years of having your legs spread wide open will do for you.
----------------------------------------------------------------------​-------- --
Quote of the day.
2003-03-10 12:46:29 PM  
Happy B-Day Bump and KillingTime! Now could someone please tell me who this Madonna bird is?
2003-03-10 12:46:45 PM  
Why, that aging, bone-headed, promiscuous, untalented, gap-toothed, sell out...oh wait...we're talking about David Letterman, right?
2003-03-10 12:46:56 PM  
Just recently caught a bit of "Who's That Girl" while flipping through the channels.

I was surprised by a) Madonna's squeaky voice, and b) how quirky but hot she was. It's a shame she turned into a heroin-addict-lookalike with a fake British accent.

Also just saw the South Park where Kenny is in the hospital, and the Make A Wish people ask him if he want's to meet Madonna. His response summed it up perfectly, "No, Madonna's a old anorexic whore, who wore out her welcome years ago, and talks with a fake British accent, and she can suck my dick."
2003-03-10 12:47:12 PM  
You don't hit Madonna.

Madonna hits you.
2003-03-10 12:47:21 PM  

thanks for the link. valtrex joke is now funny.
2003-03-10 12:47:23 PM  
Now, Britney Spears needs to do a similar shoot in order to follow in her role model's footsteps.
2003-03-10 12:47:36 PM  
Madonna unbound... sounds like pr0n to me!
2003-03-10 12:47:39 PM  
03-10-03 12:44:36 PM Zzeuss
Putting BOTH legs behind her head - now that would be a good skill to posess.

Yes, i need to find a girl that can do that!
2003-03-10 12:48:06 PM  
it's madonna! run!
2003-03-10 12:48:24 PM  
Thank you Biff_Steel, Avixen2, Thirdrail, KillingTime & Vroomazoom
Now I just gotta start loosing some weight (6' @ 187lbs) I'll start jogging after my nap & doans pills.
2003-03-10 12:48:27 PM  
Happy birthday guys.
2003-03-10 12:48:45 PM  
2003-03-10 12:48:55 PM  
I wonder if the models on the Valtrex page knew what the photo-shoot was for.

"I'm WHAT???? the VALTREX Dude? Well that's just MOTHERfarkING GREAT!!!"
2003-03-10 12:49:08 PM  
I'm guessing thats the first time she has ever been in that position without the ball gag, 14' fleshy black strap-on, latex chaps, and 3 androgynous partners holding traffic signs and whistles.

him card read good
2003-03-10 12:49:33 PM  
Ahh.. My childhood crush, yet again on Fark :)

She was the most beautiful during the Bedtime Stories time.. look at the 'Take a bow' video for example. Sweeet.

She's cuter when she's less muscular though, especially now that's she's middle aged she needs more fat or she just looks.. wiry.

I don't why people here are calling her a slut and/or a whore though. I'm sure that most of you have an active sex life or at least wish you did. Maybe I'm missing something.
2003-03-10 12:49:57 PM  
I have nothing against Madonna.

That being said, whenever she feels it's time for me to have something against her, she really needs to let me know. I've been waiting for that moment for about 20 years now.
2003-03-10 12:50:04 PM  
I'd nip it, in the bud!
[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-10 12:50:50 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Finally we know the TRUTH!
2003-03-10 12:51:53 PM  
Bigger please...
2003-03-10 12:51:59 PM  
BTW Sudie, your age is not a factor as you are a quick witted, cute, funny, intelligent mother of two. You'll be hot even at 105. I'll save some cake for you (it's one of those ice cream cakes, so it might melt a leeettle beet...)
2003-03-10 12:52:09 PM  
Madonna has never really done anything for me. Ever. Her life seems to be going the way of "Sunset Boulevard".

2003-03-10 12:53:16 PM  
Worst attempt to maintain cultural relevence ever.
2003-03-10 12:53:21 PM  
Now she just needs to take couple of her ribs out and she will be able to suck her own twat.

Like, ewwwww.
2003-03-10 12:54:49 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-10 12:55:56 PM  
hahahah good valtrex joke 3horn!

/seen the commercial.
2003-03-10 12:57:18 PM  
Sean Penn hit it.
Warren Beatty hit it.
Dennis rodman broke it.
2003-03-10 12:57:20 PM  
madonna makes baby jesus cry.
2003-03-10 12:57:37 PM  

Well, since no farkers want or like Britney, Madonna, and Christina Aguilerra, I would like to declare that in their time of rejection by Farkers, I am here to comfort all three. And to shag them crazy like a bunny on cocaine.

They're not so bad, just double bag your willy, and you're good to go.

2003-03-10 12:58:47 PM  
Don't get this wrong, I am not a fan of Madonna in any way shape or form, but would you guys be as critical of her sexual history if she were a man?
2003-03-10 12:58:52 PM  
Three cheers for the town bicycle know as Madonna. I'd do her in a New York second. Those who say they wouldn't are either lying or are homosexual men.

Like a virgin. Heeeee
Touched for the very first time
Like a vir-ur-ur-ur-gin
With your heartbeat next to mine
2003-03-10 12:59:07 PM  
hahahah good valtrex joke 3horn!

That was all Bump I just wanted to let him know that someone got the joke.

2003-03-10 01:00:44 PM  
Hey, if I were ever presented with the opportunity to have sex with Britney, Christina or Madonna, I'd fark myself silly.

2003-03-10 01:02:13 PM  
Back in college we used to tell this joke:

Q: Would you fark Madonna?
A: Not again.
2003-03-10 01:02:27 PM  
I can't even think about masturbating to that.
2003-03-10 01:04:25 PM  
I had her in the back of my cab once!
2003-03-10 01:05:23 PM  
Yeah, yeah, Madonna's a whore. I get it.
2003-03-10 01:06:06 PM  
Hey, if I were ever presented with the opportunity to have sex with Britney, Christina or Madonna, I'd fark myself silly.


Go with experience. The sex should be pretty damn mind blowing (Pun intended) after all the boots she's knocked.
2003-03-10 01:06:36 PM cream cake.

Wow, Bump. Thanks.

You now officially have a stalker. ;)
2003-03-10 01:06:37 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-10 01:08:03 PM  
Wow, nice pic Cola. I have to say that despite not being insanely attractive, Madonna is such a cultural/sexual icon, that I'd be crazy not to hit it. Plus, just think about what all of her "experience" has taught her.
2003-03-10 01:08:27 PM  
The headline made me think she was doing a contortionist act for George W. Bush.

Happy Birthday, Bump. You're one of the funniest Farkers.
2003-03-10 01:08:32 PM  
If Madonna was really smart she would have shaped herself into a W for a W shoot. If you can do a pretzel a W is a piece of cake. She could make herself into the new logo for the magazine.

2003-03-10 01:09:16 PM  
03-10-03 12:58:47 PM Lurk
Don't get this wrong, I am not a fan of Madonna in any way shape or form, but would you guys be as critical of her sexual history if she were a man?

[image from too old to be available]
"How do you know that's NOT a man, baby???"
2003-03-10 01:10:18 PM  
she's only 40ish. At the defense of "middle-aged" women everywhere, she is still in her prime when you consider the average life span.

Well, the average lifespan of a !Kung bushman is 30, so she's actually ancient if you consider the average life span!!


Don't get this wrong, I am not a fan of Madonna in any way shape or form, but would you guys be as critical of her sexual history if she were a man?

Of course not, what a silly question. Since the guys (in general) don't have sex with men it doesn't have much relevance. Admittedly, they don't (in general) have sex with madonna either, but she is female and you get the drift.
2003-03-10 01:11:27 PM  
13 years ago this might have been cool to look at.
2003-03-10 01:11:32 PM  
allright then 3horn! i got the joke too Bump!

i was going to give madonna a 10 for flexibilty, but then i wondered how flexible one had to be for that and tried it. it's not hard to do lying down. so she's not any more flexible than i am, and i have joint problems..... now putting a foot behind your head while standing on one leg requires much more flexibility. *takes the 10 away*
2003-03-10 01:11:47 PM  
Great observation Zipbeep.

Ummm, she IS TOO wirey. She should give herself permission to stop working herself out to death, but then that would mean she'd have to give up being stiff.anal.pretentious.
2003-03-10 01:13:42 PM  
"I can't tell you how boring it is posing for pictures," she explains. "I'm not interested in just going to a fashion shoot and trying on a bunch of clothes."

What a self-involved egotisitical biatch. I don't feel sorry for her and her boring photo shoots. If only she knew what a "real" job is, working from paycheck to paycheck. That is more stressful than deciding what pose is or isn't boring. Fark her!
2003-03-10 01:14:01 PM  

I think most homosexual men would have sex with Madonna. Even I would. It might not be my thing, but if I'm gonna sleep with a woman, might as well sleep with someone famous.
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