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(Some Guy)   School bans jelly bracelet because some teacher saw some website that claims by breaking them schoolgirls turn into sluts. "I can't wait until I'm in high school. Then we can wear whatever we want."   (dailycamera.com) divider line 94
    More: Unlikely, high school, Lafayette, middle school, sluts, teachers, schools, saw, music videos  
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11818 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Sep 2009 at 1:32 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-09-12 01:20:46 PM
The girls must have picked the bracelets up at one of the many rainbow parties going on that weekend.

Of course it couldn't have happened west of North Adams St., because there's a pair of sneakers hanging on a telephone wire. Everyone knows that's the boundary line for a gang.
 
2009-09-12 01:26:15 PM
I heard a girl had a really bad experience. She was masturbating with a live lobster on her toilet when an alligator came up from the sewer and bit off one of the jelly bracelets. Then she had to give anal to the alligator, and then she died when the lobster eggs hatched inside of her; they'd nested in chewing gum in her digestive tract that she'd swallowed 6 years before.
 
2009-09-12 01:26:53 PM
True story. It happened to my friend's cousin.
 
2009-09-12 01:36:42 PM
TwistedIvory: i am not amused

..ok, yea i am
 
2009-09-12 01:37:36 PM
Yellow - indicates the wearer is willing to HUG
Pink - indicates the wearer is willing to give a hickey
Orange - indicates the wearer is willing to KISS
Purple - indicates the wearer is willing to kiss a partner of either sex
Red - indicates the wearer is willing to perform a LAP DANCE
Green - indicates that ORAL SEX can be performed on a girl
Clear - indicates a willingness to do "whatever the snapper wants"
Blue - indicates ORAL SEX performed on a guy
Black - indicates that the wearer will have regular "missionary" sex
White - indicates the wearer will "FLASH" what they have
Glittery Yellow - indicates HUGGING and KISSING is acceptable
Glittery Pink - willing to "flash" (show) a body part
Glittery Purple - wearer is willing to French (open mouth) kiss
Glittery Blue - wearer is willing to perform anal sex
Glittery Green - indicates that the wearer is willing to "69" (mutual oral sex)
Glittery Clear - indicates that the wearer will let the snappee "feel up" or touch any body part they want


normal, boring, *yawn*, glittery blue! awesome.
 
2009-09-12 01:37:39 PM
"I can't wait until I'm in high school. Then we can wear whatever we want."

Just like in the work place! OMG!
 
2009-09-12 01:37:59 PM
Bah!

When I was a kid, we wore bracelets that could kill you.

i30.tinypic.com
 
2009-09-12 01:40:32 PM
"What are they going to do, suspend us all?" asked Angevine eighth-grader Athena Collins, 13, who wore a chain of black and red jelly bracelets around her right wrist Thursday.

She's going to want to slip a glittery blue one somewhere in there, or else the chafing is going to get really bad.
 
2009-09-12 01:42:07 PM
geniusiknowit: Bah!

When I was a kid, we wore bracelets that could kill you.


Awesome! Err, should I say "Totally tubular!"
 
2009-09-12 01:42:29 PM
I'm guessing that this shirt is right out then . . .

www.oddpic.com


/ hot hot hot
 
2009-09-12 01:44:17 PM
Which colour indicates a 'gay for play attention whore', or 'will do anything and ask a girlfriend to join in'? Maybe there oughta be a colour for 'extreme fetish only' just to warn us more vanilla guys.

Once we have those questions answered, we can move on to having these bracelets distributed at college campuses across the Western world.
 
2009-09-12 01:45:18 PM
Notice how it is the Teachers that "discover" these things? Sounds like someones favorite student is'nt wearing the right color bracelet.
 
2009-09-12 01:45:38 PM
TFA: "We're here for an education, not to be yelled at for wearing a bracelet," Mackenzie said.

You remember that little smart-ass comment when they implement a school uniform.
 
2009-09-12 01:47:39 PM
maxx2112: I'm guessing that this shirt is right out then . . .

Oh yes. Young lady: We have standards in this school. I'm going to have to ask you to remove that shirt right now. Thank you.
 
2009-09-12 01:49:36 PM
i115.photobucket.com
 
2009-09-12 01:51:54 PM
Reminds me of junior high school...

... which ear was it that I was allowed to get pierced again?

'Cause if you got the wrong one pierced, you were... you know... gay!
 
2009-09-12 01:57:18 PM
This is so stupid...

I mean, how exactly do the teachers know about this? God forbid the kids find out, too.

I have a good friend who is a high school English teacher. I should show this to her.
 
2009-09-12 01:57:41 PM
Somebody's been watching George Lopez reruns again! I saw the one where Carmen was called a slut cuz she was wearing the green one.
 
2009-09-12 02:04:09 PM
Are they confiscating rosary beads too?
Now that's a thought.
 
2009-09-12 02:04:19 PM
What the... seriously? THIS is what school admin is wound up about? Not the drugs, the mental disorders, the weapons... bracelets that have a secret sex code?

Goddamnit, back in MY day, there wasn't enough mental cohesion between the kind of kids who WOULD wear these things to have a secret code about ANYTHING, let alone sex... which, by the way, is a pretty loud language in the age of raging hormones; it hardly needs a freaking color code attached.

/now the nerds... we had codes
//...not for sex, though.
///"at the skinny west, white feet and X'es, bring your drumsticks and a second pair. NO SNORT."
 
2009-09-12 02:04:56 PM
This is some of the oldest news to hit Fark.
I was in middle school when this fad had successfully caught on and was being banned, that was at least 6 years ago.
 
2009-09-12 02:08:15 PM
geniusiknowit: When I was a kid, we wore bracelets that could kill you.

Those things were horrible. HORRIBLE!
 
2009-09-12 02:08:26 PM
If they are going to ban jelly bracelets, they should ban purity rings as well.
 
2009-09-12 02:11:12 PM
img32.imageshack.us

It's young slut bracelet jelly time!
 
2009-09-12 02:11:54 PM
What ever happened to "You show me yours - I 'll show you mine"

We didn't need no stinking bracelets...

/lawn
//off
///etcetc
 
2009-09-12 02:16:13 PM
Jakevol2: If they are going to ban jelly bracelets, they should ban purity rings as well.

Come on, you need to leave them something to replace the glittery blue bracelets with...
 
2009-09-12 02:16:14 PM
School bans jelly bracelet

FAIL subby.
 
2009-09-12 02:18:47 PM
I always thought black ment bondage.
 
2009-09-12 02:19:09 PM
Quex: "at the skinny west, white feet and X'es, bring your drumsticks and a second pair. NO SNORT."

I'll have to admit, I am intrigued.
 
2009-09-12 02:19:53 PM
penguin121: Jakevol2: If they are going to ban jelly bracelets, they should ban purity rings as well.

Come on, you need to leave them something to replace the glittery blue bracelets with...


aeonepoch.com
 
2009-09-12 02:19:54 PM
jalora: Somebody's been watching George Lopez reruns again! I saw the one where Carmen was called a slut cuz she was wearing the green one.

Came for this. Leaving happy.

/was it green or sparkly green?
//who cares, Id go down on her
 
2009-09-12 02:20:11 PM
She said someone has created a list about what the bracelet colors mean -- like red means "hug" and pink means "kiss."

I can only imagine what a brown one means.
 
2009-09-12 02:23:18 PM
Next up: the school is going to ban M&M's because someone might eat a green one.
 
2009-09-12 02:23:49 PM
Did everyone else get the Netflix popup on that page? WTF?

I use FF with Adblock and Flashblock and NoScript what am I missing? Every once in a while one slips through.
 
2009-09-12 02:24:19 PM
ctobio

I can only imagine what a brown one means.


Rusty trombones -- for everyone!!
 
2009-09-12 02:25:02 PM
"What are they going to do, suspend us all?" asked Angevine eighth-grader Athena Collins, 13, who wore a chain of black and red jelly bracelets around her right wrist Thursday. "We're telling all the girls and guys to wear as many as they can to rebel against the school rule. Because that's not cool."

One Tin Soldier approves.

www.badmovies.org
 
2009-09-12 02:28:48 PM
school officials felt they were becoming a "substantial distraction to the learning environment."

No, school officials are a substantial distraction to the learning environment. Screw you.
 
2009-09-12 02:29:04 PM
geniusiknowit: Bah!

When I was a kid, we wore bracelets that could kill you.


I might still have one of those somewhere.
 
2009-09-12 02:29:56 PM
"Eighth-grader Mackenzie Berry, 13, said she knows people who had their bracelets confiscated, and she finds it "frustrating."

"We're here for an education, not to be yelled at for wearing a bracelet," Mackenzie said. "

Smarter than entire administration...
 
2009-09-12 02:33:50 PM
my gawd folks....This has been going on for twenty years.

It is all urban legend. Trust me.

I snapped nearly sixty bracelets, and all I got was a slap, a knee to the groin, and kicked in the shin.
 
2009-09-12 02:35:09 PM
strothgar: my gawd folks....This has been going on for twenty years.

It is all urban legend. Trust me.

I snapped nearly sixty bracelets, and all I got was a slap, a knee to the groin, and kicked in the shin.


You just can't go and snap the sparkly blue bracelet first, you have to work up to it.
 
2009-09-12 02:35:35 PM
TwistedIvory: I heard a girl had a really bad experience. She was masturbating with a live lobster on her toilet when an alligator came up from the sewer and bit off one of the jelly bracelets. Then she had to give anal to the alligator, and then she died when the lobster eggs hatched inside of her; they'd nested in chewing gum in her digestive tract that she'd swallowed 6 years before.

Fap fap fap.
 
2009-09-12 02:38:46 PM
bring to a festering boil: "I can't wait until I'm in high school. Then we can wear whatever we want."

Just like in the work place! OMG!


Like totally, your legally compelled to go to work too? That's soooo awesome lols.
 
2009-09-12 02:45:36 PM
The thing is, if they don't get enough practice in middle and high school, they come to college and don't know what they're doing. They have weird morals like "my panties have to stay on," "hands only on the first night," "no I won't put my mouth on that," and "anal still counts as sex." Then they get frustrated that you last longer than 45 seconds with their "manual assistance," and you get frustrated because your "little guy" just got rubbed raw due to the fact that she didn't know to use any sort of lubrication.

/still bitter from last night
//sometimes something is worse than nothing
 
2009-09-12 02:49:56 PM
TwistedIvory: I heard a girl had a really bad experience. She was masturbating with a live lobster on her toilet when an alligator came up from the sewer and bit off one of the jelly bracelets. Then she had to give anal to the alligator, and then she died when the lobster eggs hatched inside of her; they'd nested in chewing gum in her digestive tract that she'd swallowed 6 years before.

Oddly, this story turns me on... to you... not the croc
 
2009-09-12 02:49:56 PM
RamblinReck89

Whiskey.
Tango.
Foxtrot.
 
2009-09-12 02:50:21 PM
We can wear whatever we want? I go to a Public Highschool where Uniforms are Compulsory. (we get free laptops... but still)
 
2009-09-12 02:53:47 PM
It's a good thing those teachers haven't heard about hankies hanging out of back pockets.

Why are school policies being decided based on rumors and legends? I thought that was among the things they're supposed to be teaching the kids not to do.
 
2009-09-12 02:58:14 PM
zimbach: It's a good thing those teachers haven't heard about hankies hanging out of back pockets.

Why are school policies being decided based on rumors and legends? I thought that was among the things they're supposed to be teaching the kids not to do.


Hey, these kind of things help save the children. Did you hear about the couple at Lookout Point? I've seen the scratches from the hook on the door handle myself.
 
2009-09-12 03:05:25 PM
So if the school takes their bracelets and they switch to handkerchiefs, is the school going to take those as well or assume everyone has allergies?

/Fark these codes, I'd need a cheat sheet to figure this shiat out
 
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