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(NW Florida Daily News)   Man who was "looking suspicious" stuffs three pounds of bacon down his pants   (nwfdailynews.com) divider line 36
    More: Dumbass, bacon, Fort Walton Beach, shoplifting, Mary, markets, StumbleUpon, donations  
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2391 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Sep 2009 at 7:36 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2009-09-12 02:33:20 AM  
If stuffing bacon in your pants is wrong, I don't want to be right.
 
2009-09-12 02:34:22 AM  
totalyellow.com
 
2009-09-12 02:37:46 AM  
over in two
 
2009-09-12 02:51:05 AM  
Someone inspecked him. Scrapple.
 
2009-09-12 03:16:52 AM  
Meh, bacon is easy. I knew a guy in college who got out of a market with a leg of lamb.

/Don't think he stuffed it down his pants, though.
 
2009-09-12 03:18:56 AM  
Nothing tastes sweeter then ill gotten bacon.
 
2009-09-12 03:25:42 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2009-09-12 03:31:21 AM  
Now, if he wore pants that were MADE OF BACON, no one would have been the wiser.

He failed to plan, and thus, planned to fail.
 
2009-09-12 07:46:46 AM  
Let him who has never attempted the pants roulade cast the first aspersion.
 
2009-09-12 07:48:17 AM  
I don't see what the problem is here.

/Should I not do that?
//Bacon. made from the most awesomest things in the galaxy.
 
2009-09-12 07:48:30 AM  
Hey, I'm not one to judge a person's fetishes.

/ He probably should've paid for it first, though
 
2009-09-12 08:02:46 AM  
Maybe he was putting together an impromptu bacon merkin? (nSFw?)
 
2009-09-12 08:57:34 AM  
We talk about healthcare for everyone, but never bacon for all. What has happened to this country?

If I'm ever elected President - A Pound of Bacon in Everyone's Pants!
 
2009-09-12 08:58:48 AM  
I'm sure he was not the first dude who had Kevin Bacon in his pants.
 
2009-09-12 09:19:30 AM  
Man. He went from looking suspicious to looking god damned delicious.

/no homo
 
2009-09-12 09:19:31 AM  
Kevin5280: We talk about healthcare for everyone, but never bacon for all. What has happened to this country?

If I'm ever elected President - A Pound of Bacon in Everyone's Pants!


I am intrigued!
 
2009-09-12 09:58:09 AM  
No one should die because they cannot afford bacon, and no one should go broke because they are out of bacon. If you agree, please post this as your status for the rest of the day.
 
2009-09-12 10:07:07 AM  
www.thecartoonpictures.com

Doesn't dunno about bacon in pants, but is rumored to be carting a few hams in his shirt.
 
2009-09-12 10:07:50 AM  
astinkywind: No one should die because they cannot afford bacon, and no one should go broke because they are out of bacon. If you agree, please post this as your status for the rest of the day.

Everyone should try TotalFark. There is bacon everywhere. The streets are paved with bacon. My keyboard is made of bacon. I have to replace it often, because I eat it.

Bacon.
 
2009-09-12 10:17:16 AM  
Quantumbunny: Doesn't dunno about bacon in pants, but is rumored to be carting a few hams in his shirt.

"That's not bacon, you're just a fat kid. Sorry about that fatty fat fatty. Hey Tom, he's just a fat kid! Aren't you, fatty?"
 
2009-09-12 10:25:06 AM  
I've banged bacon before. Hell, I married a pig once.
 
2009-09-12 10:25:38 AM  
Sure, he can do bacon.....
 
2009-09-12 10:35:44 AM  
Bacon makes you look suspicious?
 
2009-09-12 10:56:23 AM  
Quantumbunny: Doesn't dunno about bacon in pants, but is rumored to be carting a few hams in his shirt.

Nevermind its just a FAT KID! Isn't that right, FATTIE?

/Oh for the days when FG was still funny.
 
2009-09-12 11:21:42 AM  
That's not suspicious, that's survival.
 
2009-09-12 11:40:15 AM  
He had some meat in his pants. Maybe he was compensating for something else?
 
2009-09-12 12:08:20 PM  
...and then the dogs came.
 
2009-09-12 12:18:41 PM  
I used to arrest shoplifters for a living, but this guy? Naaaah, anybody that likes bacon that much can't be all bad...

Psst! C'mere, I have to tell you a secret! Shhh! Don't tell anybody, ok? Our soon-to-be folk hero bacon thief didn't leave the store, so technically there was no theft. The charges will most likely be dropped... SHHH!

/bacon.
//boobies.
///beer.
 
2009-09-12 12:21:02 PM  
LittleBlondeJug:

Everyone should try TotalFark. There is bacon everywhere. The streets are paved with bacon. My keyboard is made of bacon. I have to replace it often, because I eat it.

Bacon.


How's that bacon bikini coming along?

/bacon.
//bikini.
///boobies.
////boobies covered in bacon...
//uh, I gotta go...
 
2009-09-12 12:22:23 PM  
Mayhem of the Black Underclass: Maybe he was putting together an impromptu bacon merkin? (nSFw?)

Would that technically be called a "berkin" then?

/just woke up
//coffee hasn't kicked in yet
///berkin
 
2009-09-12 12:27:01 PM  
Private Dick: LittleBlondeJug:

Everyone should try TotalFark. There is bacon everywhere. The streets are paved with bacon. My keyboard is made of bacon. I have to replace it often, because I eat it.

Bacon.

How's that bacon bikini coming along?

/bacon.
//bikini.
///boobies.
////boobies covered in bacon...
//uh, I gotta go...


I actually do have a bacon bikini, but I am worried that guys would try to eat... oh, wait.

/goes to put on the bacon bikini.
//it's pretty skimpy
 
2009-09-12 12:27:54 PM  
Dumbass tag, my eye. That calls for the HERO tag, damn it!
 
2009-09-12 12:45:58 PM  
they actually have no case
or wouldn't in Canada

because it sounds like he never left the store with the bacon

although having it down his pants
is definitely a strike against him.

but they wouldn't prosecute it here because he never left the premises.

/once got off myself because lady thought she'd 'caught' me
//i laughed at her cuz i was still in the store
///cop showed up and agreed
 
2009-09-12 01:07:51 PM  
Wait, so if I'm shopping and I run out of room in my basket/cart, I can't stuff groceries in my pants?

wake up sheeple, the end is nigh.

/now fapping to cute cashier fetching bacon from my underwear
//fap fap fap
 
2009-09-12 02:00:04 PM  
LittleBlondeJug: Private Dick: LittleBlondeJug:

Everyone should try TotalFark. There is bacon everywhere. The streets are paved with bacon. My keyboard is made of bacon. I have to replace it often, because I eat it.

Bacon.

How's that bacon bikini coming along?

/bacon.
//bikini.
///boobies.
////boobies covered in bacon...
//uh, I gotta go...

I actually do have a bacon bikini, but I am worried that guys would try to eat... oh, wait.

/goes to put on the bacon bikini.
//it's pretty skimpy


You're giving me waaay too many photoshop ideas there, darlin'

/never going to get any work done
 
2009-09-12 03:29:25 PM  
mrEdude: they actually have no case
or wouldn't in Canada

because it sounds like he never left the store with the bacon

although having it down his pants
is definitely a strike against him.

but they wouldn't prosecute it here because he never left the premises.

/once got off myself because lady thought she'd 'caught' me
//i laughed at her cuz i was still in the store
///cop showed up and agreed


You do realize that the second she stopped you that constitutes an arrest, right? Which means a FALSE arrest, which means a potential lawsuit? (I wouldn't pursue it, but its right there in the law)

It doesn't matter if you didn't get chartered and cautioned, the instant you are prevented from proceeding anywhere that means one of two things: (1)You're under arrest (2) you're being forcibly detained against your will.

This kind of crap happens all the time...
 
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