Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Dogbomb)   Where old jokes go to die: Cheesy old jokes retold from the mouths of fleas   (flea-toon.com ) divider line 30
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

7798 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Mar 2003 at 2:44 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



30 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2003-03-08 11:13:52 AM  
Wow. Actually pretty funny. It's hit or miss on most of the jokes. For some reason, though, it's much funnier coming out of the mouths of fleas.
 
2003-03-08 02:47:35 PM  
i don't care what anyone says. This is a gold mine.
 
2003-03-08 02:48:47 PM  
I didn't find it funny. Must be my medication.
 
2003-03-08 02:50:27 PM  
[image from flea-toon.com too old to be available]
wow.
 
2003-03-08 02:51:29 PM  
I usually go to Fark for cheesy old jokes.
 
2003-03-08 02:54:49 PM  
yikes, there are some awful ones in there too i guess
 
2003-03-08 02:57:38 PM  
I found this article difficult to laugh to.
 
2003-03-08 03:00:58 PM  
Someone post something that's commentworthy, please.
 
2003-03-08 03:01:11 PM  
Credit where credit's due - the headline for this was ripped straight from the B3ta newsletter. You should go there. They're funny.
 
2003-03-08 03:03:05 PM  
no, i won't go.
 
2003-03-08 03:04:02 PM  
funny
 
EMP
2003-03-08 03:04:34 PM  
That got a few chuckles from me.
 
2003-03-08 03:04:51 PM  
This website is big in Bulgaria.
 
2003-03-08 03:14:16 PM  
Eh, it was okay. Most of the lines came from A Few Good Men, so it was missing classic quotes like: You're dumber than you think I think you are".
 
2003-03-08 03:17:54 PM  
OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!

Sorry i still am creeped out by the earlier broken weiner story.
 
2003-03-08 03:24:44 PM  
So a hypnotist is in the middle of a show. He pulls out his antique pocket watch and decides that not only is he going to hypnotize the man on stage, he's gonna hypnotize the whole audience. As he's swinging the watch, it slips out of his hand and breaks. The hypnotist says "shiat!". Took the janitor 3 weeks to clean up the theater.


ba dum bum.
 
2003-03-08 03:38:10 PM  
"you're a superstar...at the gay bar!"
That is where jokes like these SHOULD go.
 
2003-03-08 03:40:02 PM  
I still prefer "Red Meat".
 
2003-03-08 04:02:27 PM  
you want jokes, Red Green, sorry Canadian.
 
2003-03-08 04:17:06 PM  
Keep yer stick on the ice A_pavlovdog
 
2003-03-08 04:39:22 PM  
I got a good laugh from this cartoon this morning

CLICK HERE

You have to click the "I agree" disclaimer button before it'll show it to you.
 
2003-03-08 04:39:28 PM  
Here's a joke for you all:

A Russian, a Mexican, and a Texan are all sitting around drinking. The Russian chugs his Vodka and says, 'We have too mush Vodka in Russia' then he throws the bottle up in the air and shoots it. The Mexican chugs his Tequila and says 'We have too mush steenkeen Tequila en Mexico', throws the bottle up and shoots it. The Texan takes his last long swig off his bottle of Jack Daniels, throws the bottle up in the air, turns around and shoots the Mexican and says' We got too many damn Mexicans in Texas.'

Note: I am a Texas native, I know many a Mexican and I wouldn't hesitate telling them this joke either. So in the words of Carlos Mencia, if by some chance I've offended you in any way during the course of my comedy, FARK YOU, YOU MOTHER FARKERS, TAKE A JOKE!
 
G2V
2003-03-08 05:12:06 PM  
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he
heard, "Jesus is watching you."

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who do you think you are?

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

"The same kind of people that would name a rottweiler Jesus".
 
2003-03-08 10:01:07 PM  
[image from ilovecheese.com too old to be available]
 
2003-03-08 10:19:03 PM  
Two fleas live in alaska and decide for the summer to meet up in miami where it is warmer. So they meet up that summer in miami and one flea notices the other is shivering and asks "What's wrong". He replies "to get down here i stayed in the mustache of this guy riding a harley, it was so cold." The other replies with "Stupid, next time, find a stewardess, climb up her leg, and into he area between he rlegs where its nice, cozy and warm." The other flea says ok and they meet up the next summer. The fleas is shivering again. The other flea asks "did u do what i told u to?". He replies, "Yeah, i climbed up the stewardess' leg, and between her legs where it is nice, warm , and cozy. But the next thing i know, i am on the mustache of the guy on the harley".
 
2003-03-09 01:53:49 AM  
Flea-toons make me Genki!
 
2003-03-09 05:45:28 AM  
Worst.jokes.ever.

Here's one that brightened my day recently:

The captian of a Spanish galleon full of gold and spices was heading back to the mother country to claim his place among the rich and famous.

Then, one day on the journey home, the lookout cried down from the crow's nest, "PIRATE SHIP AHEAD!"

The captain, in a stern, collected voice, called out, "Men, arm your battlestations, and someone bring me my red shirt!"

The valiant crew fired round upon round at the approaching vessel, and sunk it before it had a chance to fight. The first mate, curious about the captain's orders, said "Sir, why did you ask for your red shirt before we went into battle?"

The captain replied, simply, "Because if I am hit, I do not want the men to see my spilled blood and lose morale."

The first mate nodded, and went about his business. Later that same day, the lookout yelled, "CAPTAIN! TEN PIRATE SHIPS ON THE HORIZON!"

The captain cupped his hands to his mouth and said, "Men, prepare for battle. And someone please bring me my brown pants."
 
2003-03-09 09:33:45 PM  
Haha. This flea site is funny :D
 
2003-03-14 03:53:49 PM  
w
h
a?
 
2003-03-14 03:55:39 PM  
testingtags
 
Displayed 30 of 30 comments



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report