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(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)   Drunk guy arrested after pretending to drown in the Gulf of Mexico so he could throw jellyfish on teenagers   (tampabay.com ) divider line
    More: Florida, Madeira Beach, jellyfish, drunk, teenagers, jail  
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7767 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Sep 2009 at 4:04 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2009-09-08 03:59:43 PM  
I prefer pretending to get stung by jellyfish so I can try to get teenagers to pee on me.
 
2009-09-08 04:02:52 PM  
farm4.static.flickr.com
Booked on Sept. 7 at 6:33 p.m. for:
Carrying Concealed Weapon/electric Weapon, Disorderly Intoxication (disturbance)
 
2009-09-08 04:05:54 PM  
Is this Olivia Newton-John's ex-beau?
 
2009-09-08 04:08:35 PM  
Rev. Skarekroe
I prefer pretending to get stung by jellyfish so I can try to get teenagers to pee on me.


Does that work?

/starts making plans for a vacation to the beach
 
2009-09-08 04:08:43 PM  
FAP FAP FAP
/throwing jellyfish
 
2009-09-08 04:10:51 PM  
...faces charges of disorderly intoxication and carrying a concealed weapon after a pocketknife was found in his shorts...

It's so great that actually having a pocketknife in your pocket has now become a criminal act.
 
2009-09-08 04:11:45 PM  
Then he started throwing sea creatures.
 
2009-09-08 04:11:58 PM  
www.vistawallpaper.org
 
2009-09-08 04:12:28 PM  
Now we need some sort of underwater trebuchet and we're all set for spring break.
 
2009-09-08 04:14:55 PM  

MorePeasPlease: ...faces charges of disorderly intoxication and carrying a concealed weapon after a pocketknife was found in his shorts...

It's so great that actually having a pocketknife in your pocket has now become a criminal act.


Depends on the blade length. And yes, many of the over-the-counter gas station folders are illegal to carry concealed.
 
2009-09-08 04:16:46 PM  
FTFA: Keith Edward Marriott, of 100 154th Ave. in Madeira Beach, faces charges of disorderly intoxication and carrying a concealed weapon after a pocketknife was found in his shorts

O RLY?

F.S. §790.001(13) (13) "Weapon" means any dirk, knife, metallic knuckles, slungshot, billie, tear gas gun, chemical weapon or device, or other deadly weapon except a firearm or a common pocketknife, plastic knife, or blunt-bladed table knife.
 
2009-09-08 04:17:48 PM  
Then he started throwing sea creatures.

No good disorderly intoxication story ends well without that sentence.
 
2009-09-08 04:23:55 PM  
what a tosser
 
2009-09-08 04:29:54 PM  

trappedspirit: Then he started throwing sea creatures.

No good disorderly intoxication story ends well without that sentence.


Hrm, this is now true. Now that the bar is raised, I need new stories to replace the old.

/ Except for that ONE time.
 
2009-09-08 04:31:56 PM  
Dad?
 
2009-09-08 04:32:49 PM  
Listen, strange men drowning in the Gulf of Mexico distributing jellyfish is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery asshat threw a cnidarian at you! I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened drunk had lobbed a hydromedusa at me, they'd put me away!
 
2009-09-08 04:33:52 PM  
I'm already laughing and I haven't even read it yet.

HAHAHAAAAA! How Silly!
 
2009-09-08 04:36:55 PM  
"Then he started throwing sea creatures."

Most epic thing I've read today.
 
2009-09-08 04:37:00 PM  

trappedspirit: Then he started throwing sea creatures.



I want that on a FARK t-shirt.

Oopit subby. Why didn't you make that the headline?
 
2009-09-08 04:37:08 PM  

MBooda: Listen, strange men drowning in the Gulf of Mexico distributing jellyfish is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery asshat threw a cnidarian at you! I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened drunk had lobbed a hydromedusa at me, they'd put me away!


clap clap clap clap well done sir. please accept this internets on my behalf
 
2009-09-08 04:41:34 PM  
Spiderman! (new window)
 
2009-09-08 04:44:32 PM  
"after authorities say he created a disturbance by pretending to drown and throw jellyfish on teenagers.


How do you drown a jellyfish?
 
2009-09-08 04:44:48 PM  

TA-DA!!!



/MBooda: Well done...
 
2009-09-08 04:46:54 PM  
When I get off, I get plastered.
I swim till I fall on the jellyfish.
Then I find me some academic kind of illustrator,
I describe the little dangling utensils on this thing,
And tell him to draw it up
So it looks just like a brand new jellyfish.

(describethelittledanglingutensilsonthisthingandtellhimtodrawitupsoitl​ooksjustl i keabrandnewjellyfish!)
 
2009-09-08 04:47:48 PM  
Hey, cut the guy some slack. TFA did say he was a broker. I'm sure he has some issues.
Being arrested for this type of BS is ridiculous.
 
2009-09-08 04:47:55 PM  

JakeZero: "after authorities say he created a disturbance by pretending to drown and throw jellyfish on teenagers.
How do you drown a jellyfish?


glad i wasn't the only one...
 
2009-09-08 04:49:08 PM  

GranoblasticMan: FTFA: Keith Edward Marriott, of 100 154th Ave. in Madeira Beach, faces charges of disorderly intoxication and carrying a concealed weapon after a pocketknife was found in his shorts

O RLY?

F.S. §790.001(13) (13) "Weapon" means any dirk, knife, metallic knuckles, slungshot, billie, tear gas gun, chemical weapon or device, or other deadly weapon except a firearm or a common pocketknife, plastic knife, or blunt-bladed table knife.


It's funny how one bullshiat charge can make me hope he gets acquitted on all of them.
 
2009-09-08 04:49:47 PM  
Who the hell throws sea creatures?! Poor critters. :(
 
2009-09-08 04:51:08 PM  
Man, that guy's a dick.
 
2009-09-08 04:54:49 PM  
WTF? Is the Hero tag sleeping one off or what?
 
2009-09-08 04:54:54 PM  
He's a drunk, jelly fish tossing, fake drowning, knife wielding broker.
 
2009-09-08 05:06:29 PM  

Rev. Skarekroe: I prefer pretending to get stung by jellyfish so I can try to get teenagers to pee on me.


Over in one.
 
2009-09-08 05:06:33 PM  
leonel: Who the hell throws sea creatures?! Poor critters people who are hit by those evil tentacled hell-creatures. >:O

FTFY

/yeah, sucks for the jellyfish too
//they didn't do anything wrong
///except for being made out of pure farking PAIN
 
2009-09-08 05:09:11 PM  
"Marriott repeatedly submerged himself and floated to the surface, "causing concern for his safety," and was "loud and disruptive," according to a sheriff's report.

Then he started throwing sea creatures."


I love it.


/bookmarks
 
2009-09-08 05:15:59 PM  
Wait a minute.......he's my broker! No wonder I'm more broker than him.
 
2009-09-08 05:42:04 PM  
We used to get in jellyfish fights while waiting for waves when surfing.

Nothing like smacking your buddy in the face with a massive brown blob of living goo!

/ lets see you Farkers try make something funny out of THAT. =p
 
2009-09-08 05:53:02 PM  

GranoblasticMan: F.S. §790.001(13) (13) "Weapon" means any dirk, knife, metallic knuckles, slungshot, billie, tear gas gun, chemical weapon or device, or other deadly weapon except a firearm or a common pocketknife, plastic knife, or blunt-bladed table knife.


Lol you crazy americans and your guns.
 
2009-09-08 05:55:15 PM  

leonel: Who the hell throws sea creatures a jellyfish, honestly?!


world-o-crap.com

FTFY
 
2009-09-08 06:09:21 PM  
I'm just wondering how he throw jellyfish without getting stung? Or was he that drunk he didn't feel it, which would have to be insanely drunk.
 
2009-09-08 06:22:03 PM  

RepoManTSM: I'm just wondering how he throw jellyfish without getting stung? Or was he that drunk he didn't feel it, which would have to be insanely drunk.


He just tickled their chins first. Makes 'em sleepy.

Finding those chins was the hard part.
 
2009-09-08 06:42:01 PM  

E.S.Q.: We used to get in jellyfish fights while waiting for waves when surfing.

Nothing like smacking your buddy in the face with a massive brown white blob of living goo!

/ lets see you Farkers try make something funny out of THAT. =p


Well, now you've seen me try.
 
2009-09-08 07:39:09 PM  
So, is "jellyfish tosser" a new epithet I should learn?
 
2009-09-08 08:35:50 PM  
Back when I was a kid, we used to swim in Old Tampa Bay off the Safety Harbor fishing pier, commonly called Beer Pier. This was when the pier had a diving board, ladders, and platforms at water level to allow access to the bay. Anyway, we often got into jellyfish fights, tossing the little ones at each other as they fit right in your hand and didn't sting.

Alas, the pier no longer provides such fun anymore. Kids now miss so much fun that we used to experience in Old Florida.

/Ah, good times.
 
2009-09-08 10:02:21 PM  
Drunken beach jackasses can go fark themselves, but a charge for carrying a concealed pocketknife? Bullshiat.
 
2009-09-08 11:03:37 PM  

AirForceVet: Back when I was a kid, we used to swim in Old Tampa Bay off the Safety Harbor fishing pier, commonly called Beer Pier. This was when the pier had a diving board, ladders, and platforms at water level to allow access to the bay. Anyway, we often got into jellyfish fights, tossing the little ones at each other as they fit right in your hand and didn't sting.

Alas, the pier no longer provides such fun anymore. Kids now miss so much fun that we used to experience in Old Florida.

/Ah, good times.


I'm afraid to swim in Tampa Bay.

Way to many big ass bull sharks for my liking.
 
2009-09-09 07:14:25 PM  

basilbrush: GranoblasticMan: F.S. §790.001(13) (13) "Weapon" means any dirk, knife, metallic knuckles, slungshot, billie, tear gas gun, chemical weapon or device, or other deadly weapon except a firearm or a common pocketknife, plastic knife, or blunt-bladed table knife.

Lol you crazy americans and your guns.


Yeah - with that kind of attitude, no wonder the Dark Lord set up camp in your back yard.

/nerd
 
2009-09-09 07:59:54 PM  

JimmyFartpants: I'm afraid to swim in Tampa Bay.

Way to many big ass bull sharks for my liking.


You have a far more liking chance of being injured or killed in a car accident compared to a shark attack. When I'm in the Bay, Gulf, or ocean, I shuffle my feet to avoid stingrays until I'm in deep enough.

Been playing in salt water since I was in diapers (first time was at Jacksonville Beach when I was less than two years old.
 
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