I own a scooter rental (new window)here in Estes Park, Colorado 4 miles from the entrance of Rocky Mountain National Park.. so I'm getting a kick, and a long list of dumb tourist questions.

1.) WHEN do the Deer turn into Elk?
2.) Do your scooters go up hill?
3.) What time do "they" let the Elk out?
4.) Are there trails in the park?
5.) When will the Elk be at the golf course?
6.) How much rain will there be today?
7.) There's a National Park here?
8.) (asked of a friend who owns a rafting outfit) Do the rafts run on rails? (like an amusement park ride)
9.) Who owns all the Elk?
10.) Can we drive into Rocky Mountain National Park?
11.) If it rains, will the park refund my entrance fee?
12.) Why can't I take this scooter to Denver? (1.5 hour drive in a car, down a mountain some 3,000 feet)
13.) Can we attach our baby's car seat to the scooter?
14.) Can we pet the coyotes?
15.) How much does Long's Peak weigh?
16.) Can I make a scooter reservation for January?

I'm working on starting a new "jackalope". It's called "Drop Elk". My goal is to have tourists asking rangers about the dangers of the Drop Elk in about a year's time.

After a Deer turns into an Elk (presumably after it emerges from a cocoon in the forest) the Elk is almost starved to death. Very carnivorous at this point...
And extremely DANGEROUS!
The Drop Elk waits until an unsuspecting hiker comes along, and it drops from a tree landing on the hiker knocking him/her out with it's shear weight. Then it devours it's prey.

There will be T-shirts available in a month...

BEWARE the Drop Elk.

LOOK UP!!

Criuse ship questions:

"What altitude are we at?"

"The ship's pool has sea water in it? Oh, is that why it sloshes so much?"

14.) Can we pet the coyotes?

Please do, our health care is outstanding, but expensive.

funmonger:
I still don't know where to find a wife.

Let's not get Innuit now.

santadog: I'm working on starting a new "jackalope". It's called "Drop Elk". My goal is to have tourists asking rangers about the dangers of the Drop Elk in about a year's time.

After a Deer turns into an Elk (presumably after it emerges from a cocoon in the forest) the Elk is almost starved to death. Very carnivorous at this point...
And extremely DANGEROUS!
The Drop Elk waits until an unsuspecting hiker comes along, and it drops from a tree landing on the hiker knocking him/her out with it's shear weight. Then it devours it's prey.

There will be T-shirts available in a month...

BEWARE the Drop Elk.

LOOK UP!!

So awesome. I think this idea needs to take off.

/don't forget, you have to tell people that the "velvet" from these animals is harvested in order to make every velvet item originating from the US
//and that their poop is actually raisins

cryinoutloud: I only have a couple of hours. What should I go see?

A priest?

Lovecoins: I get some great questions in a day such as 'How long is your fifteen minute tour?'

At least it is possible that one could mean "long" as in distance. Possible, not likely.

I used to be a seasonal NPS ranger at Shenandoah NP in Virginia, working at an entrance station along Skyline Drive...a kick, I am getting it.

I was once asked if there was a monorail along Skyline Drive.

A vanload of visitors, after driving along Skyline Drive for two hours, demanded their money back because they didn't see any of the animals pictured in the park brochure. (You wanna see a bear, lady? Lie down in the woods, smear some peanut butter on your ass and wait...one will find you.)

My favorite...Clinton cabinet member Ron Brown had been killed in a plane crash overseas, and we were to fly our station flag at half staff for a week, which happened to be the week before Easter. A car pulled into the station on Friday and the visitor asked, in all sincerity, "Is the flag at half staff for Jesus?"

Best job I ever had.