If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Techcrunch)   Alcohol and coarse salt are; A: building blocks to a margarita B: great for cleaning a dirty bong C: a topical treatment to get rid of AIDS-causing Jews   (techcrunch.com) divider line 158
    More: Amusing, Jews, coarse salt, search engines, Dr. Pepper, complications, treatments, structures, Wikipedia  
•       •       •

14285 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Sep 2009 at 11:14 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



158 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2009-09-03 12:32:46 AM
img402.imageshack.us

Oh, but if I had a nickel for every time the use of sodomy has provided me with valuable information.
 
2009-09-03 12:33:00 AM
Finally - treatment for my condition!

I'm gonna run right out and get me some meth and leafy green vegetables. Not sure what I'll do with the lesbian. Maybe she can help with my blog.
 
2009-09-03 12:34:09 AM
Fireproof: /First complication is ironic comedy gold
//Also had "Psychiatric Disorder" under "Causes"


as a formerly isolated racist receiving negative health information, I fail to see your point
 
2009-09-03 12:37:59 AM
Complications of microsoft (6)

TB
Add friction
Censorship agreement
Decimate company
Deepen problem
Price

TB??
/ Glad I switched to Ubuntu.... *cough, sniffle*
 
2009-09-03 12:38:23 AM
Complications of george bush (5)
Deficit
Financial issues
Invasion of Iraq
Loss of family member
Tooth decay (cavity)
 
2009-09-03 12:40:03 AM
i28.tinypic.com

#1. Duh, #3 stick with aspirin, ibuprofen, or 215.

#2 is a freaking thead-jack. Bookmarked for later.
 
2009-09-03 12:40:44 AM
hogans: I looked up polydactyly, and it suggested aspirin would help with that extra finger.

Inconceivable.
 
2009-09-03 12:40:49 AM
No treatment for FARK. I checked.
 
2009-09-03 12:41:24 AM
Treatment for Glenn Beck: "Award-winning radio."

Is that like the treatment for Ugly Chick is Hot Chick Eyebleach?
 
2009-09-03 12:42:37 AM
img297.imageshack.us

Damn, looks like I'm out of luck.
 
2009-09-03 12:44:44 AM
This HealthBase is a hoot!

Type in democrat:

Drug & Medications for democrat:
Chill pill

Treatments for democrat:
Republican
Election

Food and Plants for democrat:
Acorn
 
2009-09-03 12:45:16 AM
flagboySF: I'm gonna run right out and get me some meth and leafy green vegetables. Not sure what I'll do with the lesbian. Maybe she can help with my blog.

Some of them are REALLY good at applying condoms (and quite capable with citrus fruits)

// suspect she was not being entirely honest
/ signed the model release form.... was that bad ?
 
2009-09-03 12:46:51 AM
i625.photobucket.com

/ Redundant to "Stupid?" Absolutely.
// Awesome? Absolutely.
 
2009-09-03 12:48:41 AM
Elektrohed: Complications of microsoft (6)

TB
Add friction
Censorship agreement
Decimate company
Deepen problem
Price

TB??
/ Glad I switched to Ubuntu.... *cough, sniffle*


www.lolware.net
 
2009-09-03 12:50:23 AM
That website is an absolute joke.
 
2009-09-03 12:50:45 AM
lookout_below:
Food and Plants for democrat:
Acorn


That may be the most awesome website ever.
 
2009-09-03 12:58:42 AM
Food and Plants for John McCain:

Acorn
(must be a Dem deep down inside)


Treatment for exposure to Sarah Palin:

ACME Comedy Club
Contraceptive
Attorney
Special Olympics
 
2009-09-03 01:00:35 AM
eggrolls: No treatment for FARK. I checked.

Treatments for fark.com (2)
Chick-fil-A
Place cow
 
2009-09-03 01:01:19 AM
bobadooey: That website is an absolute joke

you say that like it is a bad thing
 
2009-09-03 01:02:48 AM
Hey Subby! It's not often you get a chuckle-worthy A and B. Keep up the good work.
 
2009-09-03 01:02:59 AM
I got a unilateral hotlink fail for copy-pasting, like everybody else? Man, I must really be a Mo.
 
2009-09-03 01:05:07 AM
No search results for porn?!?!!?

Worse search engine evar!
 
2009-09-03 01:06:06 AM
Causes of Ass:

Flower
Leaf
Parent

Treatment for Ass:

Insoluble Ass

Food and plants for Ass:

Milk
Water
Cheap liquor
Crab
Juice

Complications of Ass:

Death
37-base insertion mutation
Adverse impact
Enable tumor cell
Gastroduodenal injury
In vitro drug resistance
Progressive neurodegeneration
Retinoblastoma
Significant adverse effect
Sudden severe anemia

This is the reason Al Gore invented the internet!
 
2009-09-03 01:07:25 AM
angrycrank: Food and plants for Ass:

Milk
Water
Cheap liquor
Crab
Juice


Dude- that's word for word from my shopping list!
 
2009-09-03 01:12:57 AM
Apparently one of the "pros" of alcohol is "achieve long term abstinence."

/might explain my current love life
 
2009-09-03 01:27:41 AM
complications of Republican:

Kill Measure
Adopt expensive new drug benefit
Attack health reform
Attack text
Bailout deal
Buy Jet
Criticize Obama
Current crisis
Demoralize movement
Destroy freedom
 
2009-09-03 01:27:44 AM
davidphogan: Jew

davidphogan: sbrandt37: As a margarita-loving Jew, I'm really getting a ki... mmmm, margaritas ...

I really worried you were going a different route with that.


I was, until I got distracted.

Incidentally, someone clued them in---jew and muslim now yield no search results. Christian (new window), on the other hand, yields some gems:

Causes of christian (20)
- Jew
- Ollie
- Roman
- Ureteric obstruction
- Alcohol use
- Cancer
- Consumerism
- Detail
- Devastating war experience
- Far worse fate

I'm not quite following the logic here, but it appears that when Jews are destroyed by alcohol, they become Christians.
 
2009-09-03 01:49:35 AM
s237.photobucket.com
 
2009-09-03 01:49:46 AM
Silly Internet, if you want to get rid of troublesome Jews, you just warm up some Tactical Bacon.



// Works great against annoying Muslims and whiny Vegans.
 
2009-09-03 02:00:08 AM
Everyone knows our kryptonite is country music and manual labor
 
2009-09-03 02:17:54 AM
img136.imageshack.us
 
2009-09-03 02:18:50 AM
awesome.
 
2009-09-03 02:22:05 AM
Gridlock: Silly Internet, if you want to get rid of troublesome Jews, you just warm up some Tactical Bacon.

I'm afraid it isn't as effective as you may have been led to believe. According to my bacon-loving Jewish grandmother, "Bacon is not pork." Her argument boiled down to, "Shut up, I like bacon."
 
2009-09-03 03:24:55 AM
gweilo8888: D: All of the above?

/do I win?


tshetter: D) All of the above?

Day late, dollar short, etc. :p
 
2009-09-03 03:52:36 AM
sbrandt37: - Ureteric obstruction

That disturbed me more. I had no ideas kidney problems were such a religious matter.
 
2009-09-03 04:30:21 AM
davidphogan: sbrandt37: - Ureteric obstruction

That disturbed me more. I had no ideas kidney problems were such a religious matter.


I guess you've never had kidney stones. By all accounts, the pain is transcendental.
 
2009-09-03 04:35:13 AM
bersl2:

Treatments for "fail"


Viagra
Locally synthesized estrogen
 
2009-09-03 06:00:04 AM
Drug & Medications for zombie
Lyrica
Morphine sulfate (MS Contin)
Seroquel

Treatments for zombie
Woody Harrelson
Mail relay
Academic institution
Autographed DoTD poster
------------------------------------


Pros of bonobo
Attain given speed
Deliver mechanical output
Effective population size
Head up local village
Maintain social relationship
Provide translation
Restore social relationship
Solve food-retrieval problem
Strong hand preference

Cons of bonobo
Complicate model
------------------------------------


Complications of Google
Price
Censorship agreement
Burn up bandwidth
Cripple case
Cut
Kill job search
Waste monumental opportunity
Waste time
------------------------------------


Causes of science
Religion
 
2009-09-03 07:33:39 AM
I thought this was pretty hilarious:

Complications of New Jersey:

Disease
Pharmaceutical Assistance
Infect Pig
Infect Cell
Vesicular Stomatitis
40 Hour Hazardous Material Course
Add Insult
Attack Position
Compromise Sterility
Damage Bremen
 
2009-09-03 07:59:38 AM
i249.photobucket.com
 
2009-09-03 08:45:51 AM
When I was little, I was sent to live with my great aunt who was a rich socialite and embarassed of my lightly tan, half-Mexican skin. Every day when I got home from etiquette school, she made me scrub my skin with lemon juice and sea salt, "to remove the appearance of inappropriateness."
 
2009-09-03 08:59:52 AM
Atomic Spunk: I still haven't found a method to clean the slide bowl as easily. If anyone knows of something better than reaming the thing with a stick, please let me know. Thanks.

Soak it in alcohol for a while, just give it time to really penetrate, and it'll wipe clean.
 
2009-09-03 09:02:06 AM
bersl2: *

lol - you got hawtlink pwnd
 
2009-09-03 09:03:04 AM
Anne.Uumellmahaye: When I was little, I was sent to live with my great aunt who was a rich socialite and embarassed of my lightly tan, half-Mexican skin. Every day when I got home from etiquette school, she made me scrub my skin with lemon juice and sea salt, "to remove the appearance of inappropriateness."

holy crap - i hope you poisoned her metamucil
 
2009-09-03 09:03:50 AM
reimanr06: You can also soak it in acetone

Be VERY VERY careful if you go this route, and do it outside. Acetone is highly flammable, if you have a gas pilot burning you have a very real risk of a fire. I have a cabinet full of paint and other chemicals in my basement, but the acetone always stays in the shed outside.
 
2009-09-03 09:16:21 AM
Among the Treatments for "Fark:"
4Chan;
Bujar Bukoshi; Animation.

Among the Pros of "Fark:"
Enable under recognized acoustic guitarist.

And the Cons:
Sell preferential placement; too powerful.
 
2009-09-03 09:39:30 AM
I'm sure someone's posted it by now, but...

Complications of god include the following...

1) Destroy mankind
2) Sanction violence
3) AIDS (lol)
4) Accident
5) Bad time
6) Cause illness
 
2009-09-03 10:16:54 AM
I tried Iowa the the first cause was: Combine baby ouch

Pros:
Improve access (must never have been here before)

Cons:
Lose game (I take it back they have been here before)

Treatments:
Corn
Cheese Plant (Wrong state, I remember visiting Wisconsin as a child and seeing all the Cheese fields )
Soybean
Ice cream ( I guess I live by LeMars so maybe that is it)
 
2009-09-03 11:58:46 AM
sbrandt37: Gridlock: Silly Internet, if you want to get rid of troublesome Jews, you just warm up some Tactical Bacon.

I'm afraid it isn't as effective as you may have been led to believe. According to my bacon-loving Jewish grandmother, "Bacon is not pork." Her argument boiled down to, "Shut up, I like bacon."


the argument AGAINST bacon (or more specifically pork) is not much more logical

"cool guys you don't have showers, ya gotta cut the end off your ... thing, storing shell food is an issue, and a couple of pharaohs have told ya that its bad to talk about other G*ds... ever been to a local farmers market and had it fresh smoked with ya know... 21 st century stuff ? ya don't have to eat it drive through, but that can be good at times too... just turn that tap thing on and ya know, enjoy a shower, and don't buy from battery farms, bacon rocks, if Moses... gave the "freed slaves" what he knew about bathing and soaps and stuff... and quit with his "forget the bull... shiat thing, give ME your gold" maybe fewer kids would have had the end of their "gender identifying" organ chopped off in the 21st century.

(think Id probably like your jewish grandmother.. and probably you)
 
2009-09-03 12:10:42 PM
I put-in the S-word.. did you know the leading cause of S-H-?-T is Eddie Vedder?

I just about fell out of my chair laughing.
 
Displayed 50 of 158 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report