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(Miami Herald)   Guy robs bank and has teller call the police so that he'll be arrested and sent to prison. To get away from his wife   (miamiherald.com ) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Miami Herald, hate speech, prisons, pleaded guilty, bank, police, profanity, wife  
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5948 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Sep 2009 at 8:31 AM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2009-09-02 08:15:47 AM  
...

Ok, I can understand the guy's POV...
 
2009-09-02 08:24:17 AM  
Seriously?
Doesn't he realize he's gonna be someone else's wife now?
 
2009-09-02 08:25:00 AM  
Was this his wife?
m.gmgrd.co.uk
 
2009-09-02 08:26:56 AM  
Well, it worked, didn't it?
 
2009-09-02 08:32:56 AM  
But how does he get rid of his prison wife, Buba?
 
2009-09-02 08:34:09 AM  
www.morethings.com

But they won't let you go to jail just because you're afraid of your girlfriend.
 
2009-09-02 08:35:37 AM  
I feel your pain dude. Oh god, do I know. There are days I wake up wishing I was dead.
 
2009-09-02 08:38:17 AM  
Gee, he could've joined the Army instead. Used his anger towards killing the enemy. Just a thought.
 
2009-09-02 08:40:09 AM  
Other than the buttsex part, it was a fairly well-executed plan. Women have no concept of the effect that they can have on the male psyche.

Waterboarding pales in comparison.
 
2009-09-02 08:43:46 AM  
You know, the guy is definitely on to something.
 
2009-09-02 08:44:08 AM  
If you are this desperate, clean out the bank accounts, rack up all the cash advances on the credit cards, get in your car and drive. Post the naked pics of the wife on internet.

Start anew as someone else in a new town on a cash only basis. Extreme yes, but it beats prison.

The lack of creativity in society bores me.
 
2009-09-02 08:44:10 AM  
Dumbass tag fails. This man is a genius!

/but seriously?
//Seriously??
///Dumbass...
 
2009-09-02 08:44:46 AM  

Thisbymaster: I feel your pain dude. Oh god, do I know. There are days I wake up wishing I was dead.


I sure know that feeling. What a drag. Good luck resurrecting your happiness.
 
2009-09-02 08:45:02 AM  

Fomby_Belcher: Women have no concept of the effect that they can have on the male psyche.


Oh, they know. Either they just don't care or, more likely, they get off on it. They're evil that way.
 
2009-09-02 08:48:38 AM  

steklo: Gee, he could've joined the Army instead. Used his anger towards killing the enemy. Just a thought.


"the enemy" interesting non-humanizing term

Please remember to question the problem solving skills of those who deem others as enemies where the only solution is to kill them. Believe it or not, even in their part of the world many conflicts are ended through careful words. Always question the motives of those who would rather fight and take over than form an agreement leaving a different power structure in control. Instigators and escalators of armed conflicts are failed humans.
 
2009-09-02 08:49:45 AM  

2xcited: Start anew as someone else in a new town on a cash only basis.


Is this even possible in today's time? I mean, maybe for a few months or years. But for the rest of your life? I just don't see how it could be done. Don't you think that you would screw up eventually, or someone would find you? Or get pulled over once by a cop? Or need to do something where you have to provide a SSN?

I don't know. You can't really cite examples because if people are successful at doing this, you wouldn't really know it because they wouldn't dare tell you.

But if it were possible, on really bad days it sometimes seems enticing.
 
2009-09-02 08:50:59 AM  
images.starpulse.com

And now I'm praying for the end of time
to hurry up and arrive.....
 
2009-09-02 08:51:23 AM  
My ex-BIL did this a lot, he was a model prisoner but a pretty bad husband. He would get out of prison long enough to have another child, and when the shiat hit the fan (infants are a lot of work), go get a rest courtesy of the VA state penal system. The last time it happened my SIL woke up in the middle of a particularly bad night and he was gone, she didn't even bother to look for him the next day. She called my wife and said he's gone, and is likely in jail. Turns out he was caught robbing (burgling?) an auto parts store that night.

3 children, three extended jail terms. My SIL is not too bright.
 
2009-09-02 08:53:07 AM  
Stand by for the "I love my wife, I have a happy marriage, blah, blah" comments in 3....2...1....
 
2009-09-02 08:53:23 AM  
www.theboxset.com

Brooks knows about that, so does Red.


/didn't RTFA
 
2009-09-02 08:54:21 AM  
Oh lord, if only more people hit it and quit it like i do.
 
2009-09-02 08:56:43 AM  
www.hollywoodrag.com
What the guy's wife may look like. (hotlinked)
 
2009-09-02 08:57:41 AM  
Dude, you're doing it right.
 
2009-09-02 08:58:52 AM  

Thisbymaster: I feel your pain dude. Oh god, do I know. There are days I wake up wishing I was dead.


copious amounts of alcohol daily
piece on the side
happiness will prevail

or, just get a divorce
 
2009-09-02 09:02:32 AM  
The original story run in Lancaster included the arresting officer's comments after talking to his ex-wife :
"After 20 minutes with her, the officer said, "I was ready for jail, too," Beyer dryly noted."
 
2009-09-02 09:04:32 AM  
FTFA:

39-year-old Anthony Miller said he robbed a bank in Ephrata because he wanted to leave his then-wife but she had threatened to commit suicide if he did.

I don't see a problem here.
 
2009-09-02 09:10:58 AM  
Knows torture. has been married... TWICE.

www.movieactors.com

/hot
//shots
 
2009-09-02 09:11:06 AM  
img1.fark.net
If it works out for him that is.
 
2009-09-02 09:16:19 AM  
And nobody thought it was awkward that just before the robbery he got the blueprints to the prison tattooed across his body?
 
2009-09-02 09:25:25 AM  
Honestly, I wouldn't have sent the guy to jail.

He obviously wasn't actually trying to rob the bank, and he didn't do anything that endangered anyone's safety.

Some court-ordered couples or divorce counseling would be a lot more productive and cost-effective.
 
2009-09-02 09:27:38 AM  

2xcited: If you are this desperate, clean out the bank accounts, rack up all the cash advances on the credit cards, get in your car and drive. Post the naked pics of the wife on internet.

Start anew as someone else in a new town on a cash only basis. Extreme yes, but it beats prison.


Unfortunately, not that easy.
 
2009-09-02 09:41:25 AM  
Yeah. Guy is a monumental pussy for not just leaving her if he's so unhappy.
 
2009-09-02 10:35:05 AM  

Tavillion: What the guy's wife may look like. (hotlinked)


I'm surprised that woman's husband did not rob a bank to get away from her. She is a farking lunatic.
 
2009-09-02 10:37:00 AM  

Les' Girl: Tavillion: What the guy's wife may look like. (hotlinked)

I'm surprised that woman's husband did not rob a bank to get away from her. She is a farking lunatic.


Who is she? I see her picture all the time, and I don't know who she is.
 
2009-09-02 10:54:49 AM  

serial_crusher: And nobody thought it was awkward that just before the robbery he got the blueprints to the prison tattooed across his body?


Oh, COME ON!!!

www.moviespoiler.co.il
 
2009-09-02 10:58:56 AM  

PenguinCam: Les' Girl: Tavillion: What the guy's wife may look like. (hotlinked)

I'm surprised that woman's husband did not rob a bank to get away from her. She is a farking lunatic.

Who is she? I see her picture all the time, and I don't know who she is.


She was on some show called Wife Swap or it was called Trading Spouses, anyway, she is this big time Christian that thinks everything is evil and unholy. She called herself "The God Warrior". Look it up on youtube. Just type in The God Warrior.
 
2009-09-02 11:09:16 AM  

PenguinCam: Les' Girl: Tavillion: What the guy's wife may look like. (hotlinked)

I'm surprised that woman's husband did not rob a bank to get away from her. She is a farking lunatic.

Who is she? I see her picture all the time, and I don't know who she is.


The short version:

Youtube link (new window)

The entire episode:

Start of full episode (new window)

It's pretty legendary, I recommend watching the entire episode for the full buildup.
 
2009-09-02 11:57:27 AM  

Mini Ditka: serial_crusher: And nobody thought it was awkward that just before the robbery he got the blueprints to the prison tattooed across his body?

Oh, COME ON!!!


images1.fanpop.com

So you're the "strongly worded letter" guy.
 
2009-09-02 11:59:04 AM  

Mykeru: Fomby_Belcher: Women have no concept of the effect that they can have on the male psyche.

Oh, they know. Either they just don't care or, more likely, they get off on it. They're evil that way.


I suspect you think you're kidding, but it's true.
 
2009-09-02 12:42:19 PM  
I didn't know Teller could talk.
 
TSD [TotalFark]
2009-09-02 01:08:40 PM  
i41.photobucket.com
 
2009-09-02 01:09:22 PM  
Dumb-ass tag? I suppose, but then again, having been a wife, off and on, for about ten years now, I can see where he's coming from ...
 
2009-09-02 02:48:06 PM  
As a married man, I plead the fifth amendment on this one.

Now if anyone needs me I'll be in my bunk....crying.
 
2009-09-02 04:52:59 PM  
/approves of the method. Also been married. I "feel his pain"
 
2009-09-02 06:18:05 PM  
Domestic violence is funny when it's a man on the receiving end.
 
2009-09-02 07:22:28 PM  

Mykeru: Unfortunately, not that easy.


That was an interesting article, thanks for sharing it!
 
2009-09-02 08:14:43 PM  
HERO TAG!
 
2009-09-04 09:31:54 AM  
His punishment should be house arrest.
 
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