Oh that's so uplifting! Or..something. If only I could reach through the internet and crush your spirit just like your spine.

Is her name Bob?

This is the legacy of Eunice Kennedy Shriver. And this is not news.

And yes, I know she would be a Paralympian, not a Special Olympian...

No. No, no, no. Sorry. Not yours.

Reminds me of the lyrics of a song:

I was lost in trouble and strife, I heard a voice and it changed my life
And now it's a brand new day, and I ain't afraid to say
You're not alone when you're down and out
And I think you know who I'm talking about
When I don't know how I'll get through
I ask myself what would Willie do

What would Willie do, well he'd travel so far with nothing but a song and his old guitar
And a tour bus and some semi-trucks, thirty crew men and a little bit of luck
Well he loves all the people, the ugly and the randy
If you don't believe me take a look at the family
And they'll tell you that it's true
When skies are gray what would Willie do

Well long ago he came unto us, his words were simple but they went right through us
And the whole world sang along, but then they didn't want to hear his songs
He was gone and we thought we'd lost him
But he grew his hair and he moved to Austin
And all of the people smiled, they came to hear him sing from miles
Like a miracle all those rednecks and hippies
From New York City down to Mississippi
Stood together and raised a brew
When it's all gone wrong what would Willie do

You know sometimes I wonder when I ain't gettin' nowhere
What would old Willie do when it all gets too much to bear
And I can see him on his lonely old tour bus
And he's got his problems just like any of us
Well he'd just take a deep breath and then he'd let it all go
And he'd take another deep breath and let it all go
And he'd take another deep breath...and he'd hold it
Ah and I bet he'd feel hungry in a way that seems strange
Yeah hungry for all the things that he just can't change
Like the time he passed out in is own bedroom
And his wife sewed him up in the sheets and beat him with a broom and he forgave her
And you think that's rough, well then the IRS came and they took away all of his stuff
They took his golf course and his recording studio, and he just went out and did another show
So when it's all coming down on you
You better ask yourself what would Willie do

What would Willie do, well he'd take a little time
And talk to old rooser as he'd drive on down the line
And there's millions down that road, and with a word he's gonna lighten their load
He loves all the people no matter their races
Hell he even had a hit country song with Julio Iglesias
And that ain't easy to do, so when it's all too much, what would Willie
When the game gets tough what would Willie
When they call your bluff what would Willie do

They'd have done just as well to have tossed Terry Schiavo out there.

Honey, why are you so angry? It wasn't an orgy, it was masturbation!