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(NCBuy)   Station wagons won't replace mini-vans for car sex. Can't get laid if you drive a station wagon   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
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9054 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Mar 2003 at 2:46 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

196 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-03-06 12:16:15 AM  
I'm single, drive a station wagon.

It doesn't hurt me none.
2003-03-06 12:25:31 AM  
Let me guess, Nmhansen, you submitted this article, didn't you, DIDN'T YOU?
2003-03-06 07:46:44 AM  
Doesn't hurt me, either.
2003-03-06 08:27:31 AM  
"For instance, Hayes says station wagons only allow for missionary sex, but roomy mini-vans allow for a variety of positions -- and partners."

Damn, see what the mini van will get ya....
2003-03-06 09:37:43 AM  
I've never had sex in my minivan. That's what I have a house for. And a yard.

SUV's = modern station wagons, btw.
2003-03-06 09:55:10 AM  
Station wagons can be really cool:
[image from too old to be available]

[image from too old to be available]

2003-03-06 10:46:36 AM  
Really now, everyone knows cube vans are the supreme god of back of vehicle relations. Why do you think the A-Team used one?
2003-03-06 10:58:01 AM  
Cube vans are a favorite with serial killers too, Chick3_16.
2003-03-06 10:58:05 AM  
Sammy Johns said it all.
2003-03-06 11:44:56 AM  
I had a 1977 Datsun pickup with a shell, carpeting, and crawl-through boot. I never got laid in it. Not because I couldn't get girls back there, but rather because the farking cops would shine their goddam flashlights in and tap on the glass. Checking of identifications would ensue.

I agree with the Numberz method. Have a house and a yard. Preferably with a hot tub.
2003-03-06 01:26:29 PM  
I gotta agree with you there. The car sex thing is nothing compared to having a house & yard & rubber sheets & baby oil & altoids & ice cubes & pop rocks & candle wax and...
I don't think car sex was about the location - moreover the opportunity. When you're young you'll strip down and crawl in a chipper shredder if it means getting some stinky on your hang-down.
I've done it in bathrooms at parties (usually wedding receptions - at least 6 times), picnic tables, lawn furniture, empty classrooms, kiln studios, roofs, work,.... any road that leads to Mr. P.P.Stick gittin wet.
2003-03-06 02:49:32 PM  
*scribbles Pop Rocks on his grocery list*

Bumper sticker: "Don't laugh, Mister, your daughter might be in here!"
2003-03-06 02:50:52 PM  
Not every wagon is lame:

[image from too old to be available]


[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-06 02:51:05 PM  
Car sex sucks. Im 6'5"

and the A-Team did NOT drive a cube van!!
2003-03-06 02:51:30 PM  
Sort of off-topic, but I just got a 1988 (yes, 1988) Olds Cutlass Cruiser Wagon (with less than 40,000 miles) in near-mint condition from my SO's elderly grandfather who can't drive anymore...

what to do...what to do
2003-03-06 02:51:32 PM  
Station wagon? Mini-van? What a bonch of pussies. You guys dont know anything about real sex...

<img src=""
2003-03-06 02:51:43 PM  
Bump You sound like a really romantic type of guy.
2003-03-06 02:52:18 PM  
So let me get this straight. You can't get laid in a dorky station wagon, but you can in a minivan? Christ, a minivan is far more dorkier than say a 330 station wagon or a Passat W8 wagon.
2003-03-06 02:52:35 PM  
All right HTML, you win this round...
2003-03-06 02:52:37 PM  
I'm gonna go to the neighbors minivan tonight w/my honey to see what all the fuss is about.
2003-03-06 02:52:40 PM  
Soccer moms like to do the nasty?
2003-03-06 02:53:03 PM  
Try getting it on in an El Camino. In the front.
2003-03-06 02:53:18 PM  
close that tag Alto...bad kitty!
2003-03-06 02:53:49 PM  
yeah, 6'5" farkers unite!

car sex sucks, but as the old saying goes, it's like pizza- even when it's bad it's still pretty good.
2003-03-06 02:54:49 PM  
GaryPDX, you missed the thread where Bump is married, and romance is dead.
2003-03-06 02:55:51 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Here you go Alto
2003-03-06 02:56:41 PM  
I'm surprised I'm not getting laid right now.

/wagon driver
2003-03-06 02:56:58 PM  
ahhh...that makes sense then.
2003-03-06 02:57:21 PM  
Celica sex very bad, fully padded transit van sex much better.
2003-03-06 02:58:11 PM  
I can testify that this headline is simply not true.
2003-03-06 02:58:20 PM  
How, exactly, does one go about becoming a car sex expert?
2003-03-06 02:58:43 PM  
personally I like my terrorist supporting Ford Expedition..plenty of room.
2003-03-06 03:00:52 PM  
Station wagons have a V-8, and much more room than a mini van. As far a position, get creative, use the wheel well, the roof rack, the hood ornament.
2003-03-06 03:01:20 PM  
I'm a car sex virgin. I always figured it was mostly something American kids got into because their parents don't like them having sex at home. I guess I was wrong.

Most people I know don't have a car and a bus just doesn't allow the same kind of privacy :)

If I visit the USA I could always try it out though and make myself feel American for a while. Hmm.
2003-03-06 03:02:17 PM  
I used to get laid all of the time in my station wagon. It's now that I have a mini van and 3 kids that I don't fark in cars any more. The bedroom is far more comfortable.
2003-03-06 03:02:17 PM  
Mccallcl I never said romance was dead. I said sex is on life support with a severed spinal cord cause it fell and hit its head on the curb 9 years ago.

2003-03-06 03:02:58 PM  
When I was a teen, my 2 door nissan sentra saw a bit of action (uncomfortable action), but I'd have to agree with Weaps nothing kills the mood quite like a flashlight and a tap on the window.
2003-03-06 03:03:13 PM  
I swear I did it in one of these... quite possibly the smallest mass-produced car in the USA.
2003-03-06 03:04:55 PM  
Cola You aren't wrong, I think that's the main reason.
2003-03-06 03:05:37 PM  
You know who's having alot of sex? The guy writing about how minivans are better than station wagons as far as places to have sex. I'm surprised he had time to type of the 4 sentence-paragraphs.

I applaud the wagon making a comeback: Everything an SUV/minivan has, plus safety, reliability, fuel economy. Pity that some virgin has to make fun of it.
2003-03-06 03:05:41 PM  
VW should hire Isaac Hayes for the Microbus relaunch. But only if curtains are standard equipment.
2003-03-06 03:05:41 PM  

[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-06 03:06:07 PM  
1971 Plymouth Satellite Wagon, good times back in 1977.
Good times, good for more than missionaries too.

Since 77 the front driver seat of an 81 Fiat, tough and tight but fun.
Nissan PU + 0 degrees + vinyl seats + open door for legs = good times.
F150 Supercab....easy. SUV easy.

So, where has been the weirdest, vehicle sex?
2003-03-06 03:07:36 PM  
My old Silverado was dope, plenty of room in there. Now I have a stickshift VW GTI. At least the stick is positioned sort of close to the dash, so road head is still possible, but you'd have to have a circus acrobat in there to have any kind of fun.
2003-03-06 03:09:50 PM  
Tyee In the front seat of a geo storm.
2003-03-06 03:10:39 PM  
Does anyone remember that post awhile back where the guy described in detail the proper way to make sweet love not IN a vehicle, but TO a vehicle? It was a super long post, but pretty durn funny.
2003-03-06 03:10:47 PM  
I did it in a couple of Hondas when I was a kid. It was pretty awesome banging away with my girlfriend while driving down the interstate at 70 mph...sheesh, we must have had a death wish.

The best part was when truckers would look over, give the thumbs-up and blow their horns.

How are these stupid, poorly written articles being chosen?
2003-03-06 03:10:58 PM  
First time I got laid was in a station wagen. Never been laid in a mini-van. Get laid in my VW bus all the time. Chicks dig it.
2003-03-06 03:11:53 PM  
My first car sex was in a 74 AMC hornet. I am proud to say that I have recently gotten busy in a Toyota Prius, making me not only the only person to transport a firearm in an electric hybrid, but to knock boots in one.

God, I want to get laid in a vehicle with more room.
2003-03-06 03:12:02 PM  
I've never understood what people have against station wagons.

[image from too old to be available]

[image from too old to be available]
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