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(NCBuy)   How to get a job your mother won't like   ( divider line
    More: Spiffy  
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21460 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Mar 2003 at 1:46 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

66 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-03-06 08:51:23 AM  
"Carolina Vegas Starr says that despite the slowing economy, phone sex is still a great way for women to earn a few bucks and get health insurance without leaving home."
2003-03-06 09:08:12 AM  
Now Hiring: Houseboy/Poolboy

Currently seeking motivated individual for full time position with great benefits and room for advancement. Flexible hours. No experience necessary. Literacy a plus but not required. Training and uniform will be provided. Call 1-888-4U-SUDIE. Only young, healthy males need apply.
2003-03-06 10:09:16 AM  
But some jobs aren't as easy as they sound. For instance, Starr says in order to get the respect of "hos," an aspiring pimp needs to shut himself off from society and develop a mystique.

'Nuff said.
2003-03-06 10:50:24 AM  
I could do the pool boy gig. I actually like to clean and cook, and have landscaping experience & am rather handy around the house. Oh, and I also like to hum whilst I orally manipulate "Delores."

Where do I sign up?
2003-03-06 12:10:15 PM  
Bump she said young you old fart.
2003-03-06 01:10:38 PM  
Sorry, I thought she liked guys who are greying...

It's time for my nap.
2003-03-06 01:15:33 PM  
DownSouth, Bump's comment was in general. He was not replying to my ad.

On an off topic but related note, we have used a pool service. Every Friday, I looked forward to "Jake," shirtless, tan and sweaty, bending and flexing those muscles to clean the pool husband overhears him saying something about me (I still don't know what, and no, I never flirted) to some other pool guy in training. Now, no more pool service. No more "Jake." *sigh*

Fortunately, the husband is a bit busy, so the lawn service is still employed....
2003-03-06 01:30:15 PM  
hmmmm I could go for being a professional accident victim.

I'd have to move to the States to do it though. If I tried it in Canada i'd probably wind up waiting 6 months to get my hip reconstructed and get a Tim Hortons coffee and a party pack of donuts as compensation.
2003-03-06 01:51:56 PM  
Professional accident victim?

Somewhere, Superdave Osbourne is screaming.
2003-03-06 01:52:24 PM  
Yay for Loompanics and their wacky, wacky books!
2003-03-06 01:52:29 PM  
Ah, Loompanics. That brings back some fond memories.
2003-03-06 01:52:35 PM  
"an aspiring pimp needs to shut himself off from society and develop a mystique"

Sounds like I'm halfway there.
2003-03-06 01:52:48 PM  
But some jobs aren't as easy as they sound. For instance, Starr says in order to get the respect of "hos," an aspiring pimp needs to shut himself off from society and develop a mystique...

That's one school of thought...I prefer the Huggy Bear method myself...own a lounge, befriend some cops..wear coolass threads with thirteen inch heels.
2003-03-06 01:53:22 PM  
I think being a house/pool boy is a gay thing. I can't imagine too many women paying guys to fark em. If I am wrong please tell me where I can sign up.

/soon to be unemployed.
2003-03-06 01:53:58 PM  
Sudie, what's the pay?
2003-03-06 01:54:11 PM  
I already have a job my mother doesnt like. but everyone else does.

Internet Boobies ;)
2003-03-06 01:55:18 PM  
2003-03-06 01:56:07 PM  
Vegas Starr

Sounds like a porn star name, one that I would hit...

Of course "Gauge" is just about as sexy as sexy is, small enough to make anyone's shlong look huge and hot enough to make seasoned porn stars blow wads 6 feet... :)
2003-03-06 01:56:16 PM  
My mom was glad I became a lawyer until I slapped her with an intentional infliction of emotional distress for that god-awful macaroni and cheese she used to make. Won a big cash settlement and a permanent injunction from ever having to eat that crap again.

Also, sure phone sex is a great job for young women, but if they are hot enough to do that, couldn't they be making more money as runway models, or at least catalog models? They are all as hot as they tell me they are, right?????
2003-03-06 01:57:03 PM  
I was actually a "pool boy" for about 2 years. I had a tax return, and "paychecks". My boss was a 32 year old blonde, who just needed a strapping young man to hold her arm at company functions. Good work if you can get it.
2003-03-06 01:57:35 PM  
What about extreme ironing? That would SUCK!​ticle&si d=47&mode=thread&order=0&thold=0

Read the comments at the bottom of the page.
2003-03-06 01:58:05 PM  
Artmerlyn already beat me to the Loompanics link... Loompanics is awesome!!! And it's based in my home town! I've actually fixed their computers a couple of times. And I worked with and was friends with a lady who quit working there because she was morally against some of the books they published.

I love Loompanics! Their book catalog is one of the most entertaining things I've ever read. Well worth the $5.
2003-03-06 01:58:36 PM  
Where's the 2nd half of the article? It just kinds of end mid-thought. I *hate* it when journalist start to develop a thought, and then just
2003-03-06 01:58:46 PM  
Sudie said "uniform will be provided"

/big chuckles
2003-03-06 01:58:53 PM  
Currently seeking motivated individual for full time position with great benefits and room for advancement. Flexible hours. No experience necessary. Literacy a plus but not required. Training and uniform will be provided. Call 1-888-4U-SUDIE. Only young, healthy males need apply.

*writes down phone number*

Sweater Girl never had me do much as her pool boy. It was so disappointing.
2003-03-06 01:59:09 PM  
Farkaholic, I don't know. Maybe. Mine had a fiancee, or at least so he said.

Mikemir, salary is negotiable.
2003-03-06 01:59:45 PM  

Why, did he finally see an episode of his cartoon?
2003-03-06 01:59:50 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

I'z be 'da pimp
2003-03-06 01:59:55 PM  
"Please don't tell my mom I work on oil wells, she thinks I play piano in a whorehouse"
Seen on a bumper sticker in Texas years back.
2003-03-06 02:00:18 PM  
I wanted to be a cowboy but my mama wouldn't let me, she told me to pick guitar and drive them old trucks.
2003-03-06 02:01:42 PM  
Literacy a plus but not required.

Just how do you go about soliciting for illiterates?
2003-03-06 02:02:32 PM  
Dudeman, is that Dr. Katz? :)
2003-03-06 02:03:15 PM  
I like this part the best.

Literacy a plus but not required.

How ironic that it's text... :)
2003-03-06 02:03:21 PM  
Phone sex girls are overweight twenty someting trailer whores. There was an incedent on the news here last year where they filmed the phone jockets leaveing a place that got shut down by the cops. There wasnt anyone of them that didnt scrape both edges of the door on thier way out.
2003-03-06 02:05:54 PM  
Youngfart, I realized that after I placed the ad. Stupid me. Mute is more along the lines of what I need.

Anyway, the lawn boy is here... See ya.
2003-03-06 02:06:22 PM  
Cutting self off from
2003-03-06 02:06:43 PM  
Young_Fart: Yelled out the side of a moving car, in a bad east-coast accent: "Yo, biznatch! I wanna do ya in da poopah!"

*waiting for mods to smack me upside the head*

2003-03-06 02:06:51 PM  
Sure is Dr. Katz. That show was cool.
2003-03-06 02:07:37 PM  
Anyway, the lawn boy is here... See ya.

You mean I wouldn't be the only boy around the house? I'm hurt.
2003-03-06 02:15:45 PM  
No one ever says, "I wanna be a junkie when I grow up."

-Don't do drugs kids.
2003-03-06 02:20:11 PM  
The writer obviously doesn't know my mother..
2003-03-06 02:30:53 PM  
Why would I want to upset my mother?
2003-03-06 02:32:05 PM  
Professional Accident Victim...

Hmm, even though insurance is a scam, I don't like the idea of someone giving them an excuse to raise insurance rates so it costs us more to drive. Personally I want to show these "professionals" what a real accident feels like. Yeah, I know the insurance companies will find other ways to raise premiums, but seriously, if there were less fraudulent accidents, the attention and energy of the people who are called in to work on these could be diverted elsewhere. Like maybe a serious accident.
2003-03-06 02:33:16 PM  
"shut himself off from society and develop a mystique"

shiat man i guess i'm already a pimp.
2003-03-06 02:34:19 PM  
I never could tell my mother when I had the job of "pool boy". As far as I know, she still doesn't know. It didn't last very long, I was too stubborn to be at someone else's beck and call. It wasn't too bad while it lasted tho'.
2003-03-06 02:36:36 PM  
What the...oh, It's Loompanics.

But what does Bob Black think? Or is he too busy verbally blasting nutcases?
2003-03-06 02:47:04 PM  
How exactly do you go about BECOMING a "pool boy?" Do you just put an ad in the paper, and keep your fingers crossed?
2003-03-06 02:55:00 PM  
in southern california, our poolboy was a hispanic kid, not old enough to work, who worked while his 14 brothers came over and manicured the lawn. Great service for 20 bucks a month under the table. They probably do 30-40 yards/pools a day.
2003-03-06 02:55:18 PM  
I already have one, my mom thinks computer programmers are the ditch diggers of this generation.

"Why can't you be a insurance salesman like your brother?" He has such a nice house and a new car.

Yeah, but my house and car are paid off, biatch!
2003-03-06 03:08:28 PM  
If Mom were alive I'd get the "you were such a smart little boy, what happened, where did I go wrong?"

The answer to that would fill this page, and doesn't matter anyway. As far as jobs go, mine is fine. It isn't my life, just my job.
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