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(C|Net) Scary Having learned from Iran, the US Senate has proposed a bill that would give the President the authority to "declare a cybersecurity emergency" and "turn off the internet." What could possibly go wro   (news.cnet.com) divider line 342
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10497 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Aug 2009 at 3:39 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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2009-08-28 02:56:49 PM
What it won't give him is the ability.

"We must protect our critical infrastructure at all costs"

Then tell manufacturers to stop putting ethernet ports, IP stacks, and web servers in the control systems for our critical infrastructure.
 
2009-08-28 03:02:07 PM
xenophon10k: What it won't give him is the ability.

Of course they have the ability, they can just ask Al Gore.

i14.photobucket.com

/Yes yes, I know he didn't really say that, whatever, still funny
 
2009-08-28 03:02:31 PM
This is what happens when you elect a bunch of do-nothings who think the internet is run by magic in charge of things.
 
2009-08-28 03:06:23 PM
HOLY FARKING SHIAT THEY ARE GOING TO SEIZE THE TUBES.

/Even if they don't have the technical capability presently, I'm not sure I like the idea of them granting that power.
 
2009-08-28 03:08:27 PM
We need to find someone brave enough to plug it back in.
 
2009-08-28 03:09:59 PM
Nabb1: HOLY FARKING SHIAT THEY ARE GOING TO SEIZE THE TUBES.

/Even if they don't have the technical capability presently, I'm not sure I like the idea of them granting that power.


It's like an Internet Death Panel.
 
2009-08-28 03:15:13 PM
xenophon10k: Then tell manufacturers to stop putting ethernet ports, IP stacks, and web servers in the control systems for our critical infrastructure.

That causes the problem of not letting engineers remotely access it to maintain it.
 
2009-08-28 03:15:35 PM
Obama and this Congress is making the Bush administration look better everyday.
 
2009-08-28 03:16:42 PM
Sinister Steve: Obama and this Congress is making the Bush administration look better everyday.

I'm totally going to use this when I troll politics threads from now on, I hope you don't mind.
 
2009-08-28 03:18:11 PM
El Chode: It's like an Internet Death Panel.

Just without the panel. The president can, apparently, shut down the internet on his own.

/how are they going to rig that switch and how long after it is rigged before someone hacks into it?
 
2009-08-28 03:19:17 PM
jwa007: Just without the panel. The president can, apparently, shut down the internet on his own.

/how are they going to rig that switch and how long after it is rigged before someone hacks into it?


Well that's doesn't give me a good buzzword to be outraged at, now does it?
 
2009-08-28 03:21:21 PM
El Chode: jwa007: Just without the panel. The president can, apparently, shut down the internet on his own.

/how are they going to rig that switch and how long after it is rigged before someone hacks into it?

Well that's doesn't give me a good buzzword to be outraged at, now does it?


How about "Presidential Internet Kill Switch"?
 
2009-08-28 03:24:31 PM
It's quite easy to shut down the intertubes. Just eat a big steak dinner the night before. That always clogs up the tubes at my house.
 
2009-08-28 03:25:34 PM
Nabb1: How about "Presidential Internet Kill Switch"?

Almost, but it needs more poor taste. Maybe like "Presidential Internet Final Solution"
 
2009-08-28 03:31:59 PM
Lots of money and good sense happen to be on the same side this time, it'll never happen.
 
2009-08-28 03:33:40 PM
EvilEgg: Lots of money and good sense happen to be on the same side this time, it'll never happen.

At what expense? I can see a compromise ending up in the end of net neutrality as the gov't agrees with telecom to throttle "dangerous" sites.
 
2009-08-28 03:39:55 PM
El Chode: At what expense? I can see a compromise ending up in the end of net neutrality as the gov't agrees with telecom to throttle "dangerous" sites.

Places like Google, Amazon, CNN, Fox, etc. don't want to see that happen. So there would be a fight between them and the telecoms. While that fight would be very close, I like to imagine that in a money tie Congress might default to doing the right thing.
 
2009-08-28 03:42:31 PM
That's why I disconnected my intertube from the hosebib and went wireless! Suckers!
 
2009-08-28 03:43:15 PM
This is why I like my books and money printed and in hand.
Turn off the internet, turn off the electricity- and whaddaya got?
 
2009-08-28 03:43:19 PM
President Madagascar! There's a cybersecurity emergency!
 
2009-08-28 03:44:37 PM
This will never happen. By doing that, at the very least you would be censoring free speech. It would be like stopping all television broadcasts or newspaper deliveries. Sure, he may have the power, but it will never be wielded.
 
2009-08-28 03:44:47 PM
This is the most asinine thing I have ever heard of. The weight of the ignorance of this article made me vomit a little in my mouth.
 
2009-08-28 03:45:05 PM
Millions of really pissed and armed nerds.
 
2009-08-28 03:45:51 PM
What gives Congress the authority to give the President the authority? Or is this another "interstate commerce means everything at all times and more" sort of thing?
 
2009-08-28 03:45:53 PM
El Chode: Nabb1: How about "Presidential Internet Kill Switch"?

Almost, but it needs more poor taste. Maybe like "Presidential Internet Final Solution"


Presidential Internet Networking Interrupt Switch is much better.
 
2009-08-28 03:46:11 PM
sweetmelissa31: We need to find someone brave enough to plug it back in.

Snake Plisskin, oh wait.
 
2009-08-28 03:46:19 PM
That's okay...the l.0.p.h.t. guise can just turn it back on...
 
2009-08-28 03:46:40 PM
Just stuff the tubes full of rags.

This is Rags.
invitrofertilitygoddess.com
 
2009-08-28 03:46:48 PM
Take away my internet? From my warm, sticky hands...
 
2009-08-28 03:47:07 PM
meat0918: El Chode: Nabb1: How about "Presidential Internet Kill Switch"?

Almost, but it needs more poor taste. Maybe like "Presidential Internet Final Solution"

Presidential intErnet Networking Interrupt Switch is much better.


FTFY
 
2009-08-28 03:47:13 PM
I hear the president of the US also has the power to launch a nuclear strike against other nuclear armed nations.
 
2009-08-28 03:47:14 PM
all this means is that he'll legaly be allowed to shoot Al Gore in the face.

/everyone knows the internet is connected to a fail-safe on Al Gores heart...
//but seriously this kinda scares me
///on the plus side we'll know when the war is starting
 
2009-08-28 03:47:30 PM
EvilEgg: Places like Google, Amazon, CNN, Fox, etc. don't want to see that happen. So there would be a fight between them and the telecoms. While that fight would be very close, I like to imagine that in a money tie Congress might default to doing the right thing.

Wait, why not? I can understand Google, but why not the others?
 
2009-08-28 03:47:50 PM
meat0918: El Chode: Nabb1: How about "Presidential Internet Kill Switch"?

Almost, but it needs more poor taste. Maybe like "Presidential Internet Final Solution"

Presidential Internet Networking Interrupt Switch is much better.



I prefer Presidential Internet Final Countdown

/your move TMLO
 
2009-08-28 03:47:59 PM
Quasar: President Madagascar! There's a cybersecurity emergency!

Somebody please MS Paint a President America gif for this.
 
2009-08-28 03:48:42 PM
But how will we access our internet porn from our FEMA re-education camps while waiting for a death panel decision?
 
2009-08-28 03:48:44 PM
El Chode: Nabb1: How about "Presidential Internet Kill Switch"?

Almost, but it needs more poor taste. Maybe like "Presidential Internet Final Solution"


FTW
 
2009-08-28 03:48:52 PM
EvilEgg: That causes the problem of not letting engineers remotely access it to maintain it.

so pay them to stay on site and do it old school
 
2009-08-28 03:49:45 PM
meat0918: El Chode: Nabb1: How about "Presidential Internet Kill Switch"?

Almost, but it needs more poor taste. Maybe like "Presidential Internet Final Solution"

Presidential Ethernet Internet Networking Interrupt Switch is much better.



Fixed that for you.
 
2009-08-28 03:50:02 PM
They are installing it already...

www.co.whatcom.wa.us
 
2009-08-28 03:50:02 PM
El Chode: Sinister Steve: Obama and this Congress is making the Bush administration look better everyday.

I'm totally going to use this when I troll politics threads from now on, I hope you don't mind.


FAIL

Criticism of Great Leader is not Trolling.

Remember, dissent and protest are the highest form of patriotism. I learned that during the Bush administration. Just because a lib-tard is in office, it seems like the left cannot stand anyone who might criticize the government.

Just ask yourself this, if Bush was in power and a Republican congress proposed this bill, would you still be so pro-government control?
 
2009-08-28 03:50:16 PM
NANCY'S MEAT PUPPET: Millions of really pissed and armed nerds.

Six million, to be exact.

/Too soon?
 
2009-08-28 03:50:24 PM
Some Texan: This will never happen. By doing that, at the very least you would be censoring free speech. It would be like stopping all television broadcasts or newspaper deliveries. Sure, he may have the power, but it will never be wielded.

i2.ytimg.com

/I'm betting President Palin will be the first to succumb to the shiny, candy-like button.
 
2009-08-28 03:50:26 PM
sweetmelissa31: We need to find someone brave enough to plug it back in.

Hiro Protagonist
 
2009-08-28 03:50:27 PM
Obamamedinijad?
 
2009-08-28 03:50:49 PM
www.keineintritt.com "The President has ordered that the giant router be unplugged!"
 
2009-08-28 03:51:04 PM
eggrolls: But how will we access our internet porn from our FEMA re-education camps while waiting for a death panel decision?

It will be provided for you, chosen personally by Gorgor.
 
2009-08-28 03:51:05 PM
The constitution is only a guideline to the ruling class.... shut up and do your job and pay your taxes!!!
 
2009-08-28 03:51:06 PM
EvilEgg: Lots of money and good sense happen to be on the same side this time, it'll never happen.

post 9/11 "never happen" seems a bit naive.

but i sure hope you are right.
 
2009-08-28 03:51:31 PM
More stupid fearmongering

from the bill

(2) may declare a cybersecurity emergency and order the limitation or shutdown of Internet traffic to and from any compromised Federal Government or United States critical infrastructure information system or network;

(5) shall direct the periodic mapping of Federal Government and United States critical infrastructure information systems or networks, and shall develop metrics to measure the effectiveness of the mapping process;

(6) may order the disconnection of any Federal Government or United States critical infrastructure information systems or networks in the interest of national security"....


This bill does not give them the authority nor the ability to "shut down the internet"... it was designed in such a way as to prevent it from being shutdown. There is no button you can push, no lever to pull, nothing that will simultaneously cause all of the networking devices and protocols to cease working outside of an EMP.
 
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