FARK.com: (4603643) Not news: Man accused of sexual battery goes on trial. News: Commits suicide before the verdict. Fark: Not guilty

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		Not news: Man accused of sexual battery goes on trial. News: Commits suicide before the verdict. Fark: Not guilty (sun-sentinel.com)		79
		More: Strange, sexual battery, verdict, county judge, manslaughter, trial, jury, William Telano Evans, gunshot wounds

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Boritom		2009-08-28 03:46:52 PM

Is a sexual battery rechargeable?

Kome		2009-08-28 03:57:38 PM

Boritom: Is a sexual battery rechargeable?

Ask the makers of the fleshlight.

dahmers love zombie		2009-08-28 04:23:32 PM

Boritom: Is a sexual battery rechargeable?

The ones that are lickium-inon are.

haemaker		2009-08-28 05:27:39 PM

St. Peter: I have good news and bad news...
William Telano Evans: What's the good news?
St. Peter: the jury found you not-guilty.
William Telano Evans: Wow, really? That's amazing, I thought I had no chance. What's the bad news?
St. Peter: God over-ruled. Goodbye.

hardinparamedic		2009-08-28 06:59:26 PM

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

davynelson		2009-08-28 07:00:16 PM

Sounds like he got it right even if the jury got it wrong.

/good show, you bastard

agwood18		2009-08-28 07:01:43 PM

hardinparamedic: An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

www.agileproductdesign.com

You keep using that word...

Psumek		2009-08-28 07:02:35 PM

haemaker: St. Peter: I have good news and bad news...
William Telano Evans: What's the good news?
St. Peter: the jury found you not-guilty.
William Telano Evans: Wow, really? That's amazing, I thought I had no chance. What's the bad news?
St. Peter: God over-ruled. Goodbye.

Well he committed suicide. He'd be going to hell regardless.

/thou shalt not commit murder
//murder thyself is still murder
///is autoerotic asphyxiation suicide or more of a crime of passion?

A Shambling Mound		2009-08-28 07:02:35 PM

Pure conjecture:

He knew something the jury did not.

JesseL		2009-08-28 07:03:00 PM

So he probably believed he was going to be found guilty. This leaves the question: Was he really guilty and afraid of justice, or was he innocent and feeling railroaded?

Alyna_jf		2009-08-28 07:03:33 PM

objection. conjecture. objecture!

mandingueiro		2009-08-28 07:03:58 PM

being falsely accused of sexual battery is traumatic to the individual.

Infernal Wedgie		2009-08-28 07:04:32 PM

Not guilty != innocent.

As part of his counseling, the guy wrote a letter of apology to his victim years before he was charged with the crime admitting he indulged a "selfish desire."

The court case this time around had everything to do with the severity of his sentencing (the girl was 11 years and 364 days old. Had she been 12 years old, the charges would have been different and far less severe). So while he was pronounced not guilty, it's pretty damned likely he molested the kid.

MC3		2009-08-28 07:04:53 PM

JesseL: So he probably believed he was going to be found guilty. This leaves the question: Was he really guilty and afraid of justice, or was he innocent and feeling railroaded?

Assuming he wasn't insane, if he was innocent he would have at least waited until verdict before offing himself. I call guilty.

Doogie Himmler		2009-08-28 07:05:07 PM

So what's your defense when someone hit's you up with false rape charges? It happens more often then you think.

rhiannon		2009-08-28 07:05:25 PM

Reminds me of this guy in Toronto, who had been accused of being a kiddy diddler. After the police stated his name in a press conference, resulting in him losing his job and everything else in his life, he offed himself. Turns out he was innocent, but that part didn't really matter. I didn't say this story was the same, just that it reminded me of it.

Infernal Wedgie		2009-08-28 07:06:39 PM

Here's a poorly-written, but far more informative article about the case.

Psumek		2009-08-28 07:07:02 PM

Doogie Himmler: So what's your defense when someone hit's you up with false rape charges? It happens more often then you think.

False charges on Rape? It could happen!

Devil's Playground		2009-08-28 07:07:24 PM

daynelson:
Sounds like he got it right even if the jury got it wrong.

/good show, you bastard

So good of you to pass judgement without any more evidence than a three paragraph article.
Maybe, he just knew that one way or another, his life was ruined; that just like you, everyone who knew him would assume he was guilty even if the jury found him not guilty.
Putz.

WFern		2009-08-28 07:08:10 PM

Infernal Wedgie: Not guilty != innocent.

As part of his counseling, the guy wrote a letter of apology to his victim years before he was charged with the crime admitting he indulged a "selfish desire."

The court case this time around had everything to do with the severity of his sentencing (the girl was 11 years and 364 days old. Had she been 12 years old, the charges would have been different and far less severe). So while he was pronounced not guilty, it's pretty damned likely he molested the kid.

What the... why? I understand if she was about to be, say, 14, but 12???

Ponzholio		2009-08-28 07:08:29 PM

A Shambling Mound: Pure conjecture:

He knew something the jury did not.

Maybe true, or he figured his life was pretty much over since he'd be labeled a child molester regardless of innocence or not... If I ever got accused of something like that, I'll admit, it probably would cross my mind...

SynthLord		2009-08-28 07:08:55 PM

This is why Hollywood revenge movies are so unbelievable.

Why go to risky elobrate extremes when all you have to do is accuse someone of child molestation or tax fraud?

You can destroy your enemies with a phone call; no claymores needed.

JesseL		2009-08-28 07:08:59 PM

MC3: Assuming he wasn't insane, if he was innocent he would have at least waited until verdict before offing himself. I call guilty.

After you're convicted the options for suicide get a lot less convenient, painless, and reliable. If I was feeling suicidal and convinced of a ruling against me, I'd much rather eat a bullet than try to hang myself with a bed sheet.

I say it's impossible to call based on the available evidence.

The_Terminator		2009-08-28 07:09:02 PM

Or he could have killed himself because of the fallout that occurs from merely being charged with a crime of this nature?

Most people's lives are ruined from charges like these, even if they are 100% innocent.

Infernal Wedgie		2009-08-28 07:10:15 PM

WFern:
What the... why? I understand if she was about to be, say, 14, but 12???

Dude, it's Florida.

/is the Florida tag on vacation or something, modmins?

Psumek		2009-08-28 07:13:14 PM

WFern: Infernal Wedgie: Not guilty != innocent.

As part of his counseling, the guy wrote a letter of apology to his victim years before he was charged with the crime admitting he indulged a "selfish desire."

The court case this time around had everything to do with the severity of his sentencing (the girl was 11 years and 364 days old. Had she been 12 years old, the charges would have been different and far less severe). So while he was pronounced not guilty, it's pretty damned likely he molested the kid.

What the... why? I understand if she was about to be, say, 14, but 12???

{Insert Pedobear "Too Old" pic}

Pope Michael of Discordia		2009-08-28 07:13:17 PM

I envy the sex offender's work ethic.

While most dudes go day-to-day waiting for sex to happen, sex offenders go out and MAKE it happen.

CaptainSmartass		2009-08-28 07:13:49 PM

Infernal Wedgie: Here's a poorly-written, but far more informative article about the case.

According to this second article, the accuser said he started diddling her when she was "in second grade", and she was "about 9 or 10". Unless she's a class A moran, there's no way a 9-year old would be in the second grade. Something smells fishy with this story.

Spazmojack		2009-08-28 07:13:52 PM

Oh sure, the cops just found him dead, eh? Minutes after the not guilty verdict too. Uh huh... Yep.

NorCalLos		2009-08-28 07:15:57 PM

Anyone ever watch Lock-Up on MSNBC or something? This dude was in the L.A. County Jail awaiting trial for murder or something with a really long sentence. He decided that if he was going to do life, he was going to do it as a made man in the Mexican Mafia, so he killed a dude they wanted dead. He ended up being acquitted of the initial charge, getting life for the murder he committed in jail.

Bonus: He used the dude's corpse as a stand for hit hot-plate so he could make ramen.

Linux_Yes		2009-08-28 07:16:26 PM

Guilty or not, once you are accused a Pedo in the "Land of the Free", then you are marked for life.

because most Americans are stupid and easily misled/tricked.

for example, Americans were tricked in 2008/2009 when wallstreet Banks took 1 to 2 Trillion worth of middle/working class wealth and made it "disappear".

Vanish.

Just like that. All Gone.

Hey, have you seen my wallet?

naw, man. haven't seen it at all.....

NorCalLos		2009-08-28 07:16:50 PM

CaptainSmartass: Infernal Wedgie: Here's a poorly-written, but far more informative article about the case.

According to this second article, the accuser said he started diddling her when she was "in second grade", and she was "about 9 or 10". Unless she's a class A moran, there's no way a 9-year old would be in the second grade. Something smells fishy with this story.

You are a sick, sick man.

exempli gratis		2009-08-28 07:17:45 PM

Those kind of charges could ruin a man regardless of innocence. Perhaps our for profit legal system needs reform. We could have public defenders arguing on your behalf and guilt panels deciding if you're free or incarcerated, and fund it all with your money, comrade.

p51d007		2009-08-28 07:18:29 PM

Doogie Himmler		2009-08-28 07:20:37 PM

Infernal Wedgie: Here's a poorly-written, but far more informative article about the case.

Good find Infernal Wedgie,and now my face is a little red.

But people do falsely accuse other people of sex crimes. That's all I'm saying.

But the real question is this;was she hot at the time the molestation started?

*ducks*

Lamune_Baba		2009-08-28 07:21:14 PM

Infernal Wedgie: Not guilty != innocent.

As part of his counseling, the guy wrote a letter of apology to his victim years before he was charged with the crime admitting he indulged a "selfish desire."

There is some serious "There... are... four.. lights..." type shiat during those counseling "sessions." A letter doesn't mean shiat.

Part of your "counseling" as a sex offender is ramming it into your head how much of a sick perverted fark you are, and how you have to accept it before you can be "made better."

Had a friend of my Father spend a few years in the pokey on false charges his ex-wife ADMITTED TO FABRICATING under signed statement and oath in court to finalize one damn messy divorce. (Why take half when you can take it all?) The fact they still didn't let him out for a while, and never did remove him from the offender registry is a different story. (He had a penis, that makes him guilty. Even if your only witness recants, you're still guilty, because she's obviously just lying about lying, because she was clearly abused. You probably just threatened her to make her reverse her statement.)

He went through it all. Even after he was let out they had him convinced that maybe he really did abuse his wife and child.

The fact he killed himself means jack-shiat-all-nothing to prove his guilt. He might have known something the courts didn't. He might have just been broken by his 'treatment.'

Mrs. Chomsky		2009-08-28 07:21:32 PM

A Shambling Mound: Pure conjecture:

He knew something the jury did not.

this came to my mind, too. Was it something much worse? What's worse than that?

BobNesta420		2009-08-28 07:22:41 PM

Infernal Wedgie: Here's a poorly-written, but far more informative article about the case.

Well, that was indeed a poorly-written article. You can tell the author was going for drama, but he was a little vague on the details. So, the prosecutor read the letter following the ruling and following the guy's suicide? Is that how it went down? And if so, why didn't he read it during the trial? Inadmissible?

Mrs. Chomsky		2009-08-28 07:23:26 PM

wjllope		2009-08-28 07:29:29 PM

rhiannon: After the police stated his name in a press conference, resulting in him losing his job and everything else in his life,

wwwimage.cbsnews.com

mralphabet		2009-08-28 07:32:40 PM

It's not ironic, it's just mean!

jeaux65		2009-08-28 07:32:58 PM

Evans jotted on a notepad, as he had done throughout most of the trial.

The letter, dated April 10, 1996, described how he was "overcome with selfish desires."

After several years of taking advantage of her nightly fear of what might happen and her youthful ignorance about sex, he promised to stop, according to the letter.

It SOUNDS like he's guilty, despite her being 12 or 14 at the time...

texastag		2009-08-28 07:35:12 PM

When the judge struck the gavel it made this sound...

Link

Also...

Does this mean there needs to be a revision to the moral of the date rape story?

Ikahoshi		2009-08-28 07:36:10 PM

The_Terminator: Or he could have killed himself because of the fallout that occurs from merely being charged with a crime of this nature?

Most people's lives are ruined from charges like these, even if they are 100% innocent.

This.

The crime of child molestation is demonized to the point it doesn't matter if the guy is convicted. We already have folks in this thread saying "guilty" simply because it's a suicide before the end of the trial

Half of you declaring him posthumously guilty would be trying to eat a bullet after the mere accusation, never mind the full trial experience.

JakeZero		2009-08-28 07:39:34 PM

The 2nd article states it wasn't a question IF he did it, but when.

Had she been under 12, there is no statute of limitations. Had she been older, it would have expired.

The girl claimed she had been molested in 2nd grade, but the defense argued she also claimed it happened when her mom got boobie implants, which happened when she was 14.

There wasn't enough evidence to prove when it happened.

So he's guilty, the question was whether he was punishable.

Mrs. Chomsky		2009-08-28 07:39:59 PM

Maybe he only just WANTED to...

/got nothin', really

Psumek		2009-08-28 07:45:54 PM

Hamanu		2009-08-28 07:49:31 PM

JakeZero: The 2nd article states it wasn't a question IF he did it, but when.

Had she been under 12, there is no statute of limitations. Had she been older, it would have expired.

The girl claimed she had been molested in 2nd grade, but the defense argued she also claimed it happened when her mom got boobie implants, which happened when she was 14.

There wasn't enough evidence to prove when it happened.

So he's guilty, the question was whether he was punishable.

From the second article it still doesn't seem clear whether it even happened. I know it sounds like the author is trying to make it seem certain, but the girl can't even nail it down to less than a two year period. It sounds like it's a constantly changing story. I'm not going to say that either article gives enough information to decide, but since there were 12 people intimately familiar with the case who decided they couldn't convict him I'll have to defer to their judgement.

joelris		2009-08-28 07:52:09 PM

i know a guy who was accused of child molesting that was found innocent. the local news never got around to letting folks know about the whole innocent part.

/his life is ruined.
//his whole family name is too.
/// prolly the greatest guy you could ever meet.