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(Wired)   Remember the Conficker botnet? It's still out there, lurking, waiting, dreaming like Cthulhu   (wired.com) divider line 52
    More: Interesting, lot, intelligence services, gills, botnets, pop-up, malware, glare, War Room  
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2501 clicks; posted to Geek » on 28 Aug 2009 at 12:01 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-08-28 11:40:56 AM
Remember the Conficker botnet sensational journalists? They're still out there, lurking, waiting, dreaming like Cthulhu.

Relax, guys. There will be another zero day digital colon cleansing to sex up sooner or later.
 
2009-08-28 11:57:12 AM
You really should avoid R'lyeh.net. The virus you get there will kill you, after it teaches you mysteries darker than any stygian abyss.
 
2009-08-28 12:08:27 PM
They must know it was the Worms; the slithering scurrying worms whose scampering will never let me sleep; the daemon worms that race behind the padding in this room and beckon me down to greater horrors than I have ever known; the worms they can never hear; the worms, the worms in the walls.
 
mhd
2009-08-28 12:10:32 PM
Is this the thread where I'm supposed to be all smug because I use Linux/OS X/BSD/AmigaOS/BBCBasic? Or is this the thread where I'm supposed to be all smug because Old Gods and endless oblivion don't scare me because I'm an Agnostic/Atheist/Nihilist/Smurf? How can I be smug if I don't know why?

/Conficker, hah. As if anyone visiting Cons gets ficked.
 
2009-08-28 12:11:54 PM
And to escape this relentless thing I plunged gladly and unhesitantly into the stinking shallows where amidst weedy walls and sunken streets fat sea-worms feast upon the world's dead.
 
2009-08-28 12:16:17 PM
Stay Cool Babylon: Remember the Conficker botnet sensational journalists?

From Wired, on April 1st:

"Threat Level was skeptical last week that Conficker would do anything more than send spam. But since then we've become aware of dramatic new evidence that reporting on a doomsday worm is good for page views. So welcome to our Conficker War Room!"

At least they are honest.
 
2009-08-28 12:24:44 PM
The company I work for is having a huge problem containing this worm as we speak so I'm getting a kick out of these replies...


/seriously, they cannot control it, they don't know what to do
//its a software company
 
2009-08-28 12:25:47 PM
That is not dead, which can eternal lie,
and with strange aeons, even TCP may die
 
2009-08-28 12:26:53 PM
Asteroth: And to escape this relentless thing I plunged gladly and unhesitantly into the stinking shallows where amidst weedy walls and sunken streets fat sea-worms feast upon the world's dead.

That's a better one. My first thought was to post this... not totally appropriate, but Lovecraft loved Poe, so:

But see, amid the mimic rout
A crawling shape intrude!
A blood-red thing that writhes from out
The scenic solitude!
It writhes!- it writhes!- with mortal pangs
The mimes become its food,
And the angels sob at vermin fangs
In human gore imbued.

Out- out are the lights- out all!
And, over each quivering form,
The curtain, a funeral pall,
Comes down with the rush of a storm,
While the angels, all pallid and wan,
Uprising, unveiling, affirm
That the play is the tragedy, "Man,"
And its hero the Conficker Worm.
 
2009-08-28 12:30:33 PM
I just removed Conficker from my system so I'm getting a kick out of these replies...

/never let someone borrow your USB drives.
 
2009-08-28 12:31:39 PM
I don't have Conficker. But, then again, I remember to sacrifice a set number of virgins to the great Cthulhu on a regular basis. It tends to work better than any other anti virus I've ever tried.

/seriously, WoW players will sometimes go willingly to the alter
//Cthulhu fthagn!
 
2009-08-28 12:35:41 PM
I don't understand. WAAAAAAAY back when I took programming (Fortran 77, yes, I am old), you could read a program and know what it was going to do. Why can't these conficker experts look at the code and tell us what it will do?
 
2009-08-28 12:36:14 PM
Does the art of combining classic horror stories with computer terminology have a name yet?

This NEEDS to be a real genre.
 
2009-08-28 12:40:53 PM
stuhayes2010: I don't understand. WAAAAAAAY back when I took programming (Fortran 77, yes, I am old), you could read a program and know what it was going to do. Why can't these conficker experts look at the code and tell us what it will do?

Because they dont have the source code. So you would have to disassemble and analyze it. That is not the easiest task in the world.

Also you have to break whatever encryption and obscuring scheme they used. That is possible but adds to the complexity.
 
2009-08-28 12:43:29 PM
Sitting in a bunker here behind my wall
Waiting for the worms to come.
In perfect isolation here behind my wall
Waiting for the worms to come.
 
2009-08-28 12:48:56 PM
what i remember most about it is that it has no effect on Linux.

and don't use the 'hardly anyone uses Linux' myth, because at least half of all web servers in the world run Linux and they haven't been infected with Conficker.(although they have passed it on to windows clients if the Linux admin of the server does not prevent it)
 
2009-08-28 12:51:06 PM
Linux_Yes: what i remember most about it is that it has no effect on Linux.

I also doesn't affect go-carts. Or watermelons. Or hyper-intelligent shades of the color blue.
 
2009-08-28 01:03:05 PM
Nothing can be done until primary objective (find John Connor) has been completed.
 
2009-08-28 01:03:35 PM
Linux_Yes: what i remember most about it is that it has no effect on Linux.

and don't use the 'hardly anyone uses Linux' myth, because at least half of all web servers in the world run Linux and they haven't been infected with Conficker.(although they have passed it on to windows clients if the Linux admin of the server does not prevent it)


Generally speaking people who use linux know their operating system better. Kind of pointless to launch a virus to attack people that know what they're doing.

Linux is still not end user friendly. Unless the end user is a moron, in which case, you can give them ANY operating system.
 
2009-08-28 01:04:54 PM
LavenderWolf: Linux_Yes: what i remember most about it is that it has no effect on Linux.

and don't use the 'hardly anyone uses Linux' myth, because at least half of all web servers in the world run Linux and they haven't been infected with Conficker.(although they have passed it on to windows clients if the Linux admin of the server does not prevent it)

Generally speaking people who use linux know their operating system better. Kind of pointless to launch a virus to attack people that know what they're doing.

Linux is still not end user friendly. Unless the end user is a moron, in which case, you can give them ANY operating system.


And yes, I realize that sounds bass ackwards, but think about it. Power users that don't have heaping mounds of time to invest in learning obscure Linux-only skills are left with a basic OS that can't game and you can't highly customize.

/wake me up when I can play games on Linux and customize it fully without ever having to compile someone else's program to do it.
 
2009-08-28 01:05:46 PM
sxacho: Linux_Yes: what i remember most about it is that it has no effect on Linux.

I also doesn't affect go-carts. Or watermelons. Or hyper-intelligent shades of the color blue.


Those dim-witted shades are in trouble though, deeeeeep deeep trouble.
 
2009-08-28 01:08:04 PM
Came for the Lovecraftery, wasn't disappointed.

/why no Colour Out Of Space references yet?
//always thought that'd make a better virus/tech analogy
 
2009-08-28 01:12:25 PM
LavenderWolf: Linux is still not end user friendly. Unless the end user is a moron, in which case, you can give them ANY operating system.

Neither is XP. Or vista.

LavenderWolf: /wake me up when I can play games on Linux and customize it fully without ever having to compile someone else's program to do it.

This statement is just full of fail.
 
2009-08-28 01:14:23 PM
Confliktor asks you to pay $5 to read articles in advance.
 
2009-08-28 01:18:56 PM
Linux_Yes: what i remember most about it is that it has no effect on Linux.



It also has no effect on a Windows box that is kept up to date.
 
2009-08-28 01:19:00 PM
eddie van heinous: Stay Cool Babylon: Remember the Conficker botnet sensational journalists?

From Wired, on April 1st:

"Threat Level was skeptical last week that Conficker would do anything more than send spam. But since then we've become aware of dramatic new evidence that reporting on a doomsday worm is good for page views. So welcome to our Conficker War Room!"

At least they are honest.


True. I actually remember that page. The only thing that gets on my nerves about Wired is some of the thinly veiled Mac fanboyism. No big deal, really - I just don't read the hardware reviews and stick to the stories. Great site/mag.
 
2009-08-28 01:22:35 PM
Linux_Yes: what i remember most about it is that it has no effect on Linux.

and don't use the 'hardly anyone uses Linux' myth, because at least half of all web servers in the world run Linux and they haven't been infected with Conficker.(although they have passed it on to windows clients if the Linux admin of the server does not prevent it)


You might a nice person in real life and all, but is there a particular reason you feel compelled to not only name yourself after your OS, but come into EVERY thread solely to gloat that Linux generally has fewer security issues? I mean, what does a guy get out of that, really? What motivates a man to live in an apparent unending quest to remind people that he thinks Windows sucks?

Dude, I get it.
 
2009-08-28 01:29:08 PM
moistD: The company I work for is having a huge problem containing this worm as we speak so I'm getting a kick out of these replies...


/seriously, they cannot control it, they don't know what to do
//its a software company


Having battled this thing twice now on two different machines, it really is a biatch to get rid of.
 
2009-08-28 01:34:57 PM
LordJiro: Does the art of combining classic horror stories with computer terminology have a name yet?

This NEEDS to be a real genre.


"Strossian", as in "Charles Stross (new window)", e.g. The Atrocity Archives (new window)
 
2009-08-28 01:35:54 PM
Stay Cool Babylon: You might a nice person in real life and all, but is there a particular reason you feel compelled to not only name yourself after your OS, but come into EVERY thread solely to gloat that Linux generally has fewer security issues? I mean, what does a guy get out of that, really? What motivates a man to live in an apparent unending quest to remind people that he thinks Windows sucks?

Dude, I get it.


Linux fanboys: a loathsome, night-spawned horde of organic corruption more devastatingly hideous than the blackest conjurations of mortal madness or morbidity.

/my fave Lovecraft quote
//I added the part about Linux fanboys
 
2009-08-28 01:45:02 PM
mhd: Linux


no, this is the tread where you admit Linux is more secure by design than windows.

at least half of all web servers in the world run Linux and we don't hear about all those "Linux viruses" running around.

why?

because Linux was designed on the Internet. network security is its middle name.
 
2009-08-28 01:48:16 PM
LordJiro: Does the art of combining classic horror stories with computer terminology have a name yet?

This NEEDS to be a real genre.


M'agshuppe?


/the g is silent. Like the grave.
 
2009-08-28 01:49:44 PM
Linux_Yes: what i remember most about it is that it has no effect on Linux.

and don't use the 'hardly anyone uses Linux' myth, because at least half of all web servers in the world run Linux and they haven't been infected with Conficker.(although they have passed it on to windows clients if the Linux admin of the server does not prevent it)


So Linux is like the Typhoid Mary of OSes? Showing no symptoms but spreading the infection?
 
2009-08-28 02:11:43 PM
Some might take Conficker's quiescence as evidence that the first round of reporting was hyped to the gills. But since I've already asked Wired's art department to produce a spooky Ghost Ship version of our Conficker War Room graphic, let's stay with it.


Ahhhhahahahahahahaa. You know what, sometimes self citing journalism doesn't bother me
 
2009-08-28 02:18:12 PM
Cthulhu has his own cute and fuzzy hat (new window fhtagn).
 
2009-08-28 02:55:40 PM
Linux_Yes: what i remember most about it is that it has no effect on Linux.

Well, that would be because it was designed for another platform. You do realize that different OSes have different API methods right? Perhaps you don't, you don't seem very bright most of the time.

The best targets for gathering into a botnet are home users, not corporate machines. So the fact that there are a lot of Linux webservers out there is pretty irrelevant. Corporate machines have IT staff behind them that will be trying to keep up with infections and mitigating the issues. Home users can be part of several botnets for a long time without ever knowing or caring. There is still insufficient demand for a Linux-based botnet, regardless of how much of the Internet back-end is using it.
 
2009-08-28 03:20:09 PM
Above these apparent hieroglyphics was a figure of evidently pictorial intent, though its impressionistic execution forbade a very clear idea of its nature. It seemed to be a sort of monster, or symbol representing a monster, of a form which only the fremen could conceive. If I say that my somewhat extravagant imagination yielded simultaneous pictures of an annelid, a serpent, and thousands of gleaming canines, I shall not be unfaithful to the spirit of the thing. A cavernous, trifurcated maw surmounted a grotesque and scaly body with great scales, but it was the general outline of the whole which made it most shockingly frightful.

/Mixing culture references
//Yet to encounter conficker.
 
2009-08-28 03:46:23 PM
Subject: Conficker
Date: 8/28/09 11:59 AM

Thought you might like to know...

Apparently, a new computer virus has been engineered by a user of America Online that is unparalleled in its destructive capability. Other, more well-known viruses such as Stoned, Airwolf, and Michaelangelo pale in comparison to the prospects of this newest creation by a warped mentality.

What makes this virus so terrifying is the fact that no program needs to be exchanged for a new computer to be infected. It can be spread through the existing e-mail systems of the InterNet.

Luckily, there is one sure means of detecting what is now known as the "Conficker" virus. It always travels to new computers the same way - in a text e-mail message with the subject line reading simply "Conficker". Avoiding infection is easy once the file has been received - not reading it. The act of loading the file into the mail server's ASCII buffer causes the "Conficker" mainline program to initialize and execute.

The program is highly intelligent - it will send copies of itself to everyone whose e-mail address is contained in a received-mail file or a sent-mail file, if it can find one. It will then proceed to trash the computer it is running on.

The bottom line here is - if you receive a file with the subject line "Conficker", delete it immediately! Do not read it! Rest assured that whoever's name was on the "From:" line was surely struck by the virus. Warn your friends and local system users of this newest threat to the InterNet! It could save them a lot of time and money..
 
2009-08-28 04:28:46 PM
sxacho: Linux_Yes: what i remember most about it is that it has no effect on Linux.

I also doesn't affect go-carts. Or watermelons. Or hyper-intelligent shades of the color blue.


well, if you can connect your watermelons to the Internet, you've got alot more noggin than i do. which OS do they run?
 
2009-08-28 04:31:36 PM
feanturi: Linux


there won't be any Linux based botnets, because you can't spread malware to enough Linux machines to create a botnet. unless, of course, you can convince 10's of thousands of users to download the botnet file, open up a shell and log in as root, give the botnet file permission to execute, then execute the file as the root user.

that'll take some doin to convince that many people to infect their machines.
 
2009-08-28 06:17:03 PM
Kids...are you ready!!!!
Who lives in a mythic land under the sea?
Ancient and squamous and sleeping is he?
That is not dead which eternal can lie.
And with strange aeons even death sure may die!
Ready?

SQUIDBOB 'THULUPANTS!
SQUIDBOB 'THULUPANTS!
SQUIDBOB 'THULUPANTS!
SQUIDBOB 'THULUPANTS!
 
2009-08-28 06:45:33 PM
Cyclopean. No Lovecraft thread is complete without that word.
 
2009-08-28 06:53:16 PM
Tachikoma [TotalFark] Quote 2009-08-28 12:31:39 PM
I don't have Conficker. But, then again, I remember to sacrifice a set number of virgins to the great Cthulhu on a regular basis. It tends to work better than any other anti virus I've ever tried.

/seriously, WoW players will sometimes go willingly to the alter
//Cthulhu fthagn!


You told them it was part of an attunement chain and that after they died they'd rez at the gy?
 
2009-08-28 06:53:31 PM
Not sleeping. I was just resting my eyes.
 
2009-08-28 08:23:41 PM
LavenderWolf: LavenderWolf: Linux_Yes: what i remember most about it is that it has no effect on Linux.

and don't use the 'hardly anyone uses Linux' myth, because at least half of all web servers in the world run Linux and they haven't been infected with Conficker.(although they have passed it on to windows clients if the Linux admin of the server does not prevent it)

Generally speaking people who use linux know their operating system better. Kind of pointless to launch a virus to attack people that know what they're doing.

Linux is still not end user friendly. Unless the end user is a moron, in which case, you can give them ANY operating system.

And yes, I realize that sounds bass ackwards, but think about it. Power users that don't have heaping mounds of time to invest in learning obscure Linux-only skills are left with a basic OS that can't game and you can't highly customize.

/wake me up when I can play games on Linux and customize it fully without ever having to compile someone else's program to do it.


I can do those things now. I do not know when or if you will ever be able to. I do know that you talk about having to "compile other peoples programs", and that you use the term "power user" - so it might be a while.
 
2009-08-28 09:40:19 PM
Linux_Yes: feanturi: Linux


there won't be any Linux based botnets, because you can't spread malware to enough Linux machines to create a botnet. unless, of course, you can convince 10's of thousands of users to download the botnet file, open up a shell and log in as root, give the botnet file permission to execute, then execute the file as the root user.

that'll take some doin to convince that many people to infect their machines.


You appear to have zero grasp of how a buffer overrun exploit works, but that really doesn't surprise me. Thanks for playing.
 
2009-08-28 11:11:51 PM
exPFCWintergreen: Kids...are you ready!!!!
Who lives in a mythic land under the sea?
Ancient and squamous and sleeping is he?
That is not dead which eternal can lie.
And with strange aeons even death sure may die!
Ready?

SQUIDBOB 'THULUPANTS!
SQUIDBOB 'THULUPANTS!
SQUIDBOB 'THULUPANTS!
SQUIDBOB 'THULUPANTS!


ZOMG! I creamed myself reading that! And than I laughed so hard I coughed up a lung blacked by years of smoking non filtered cigs....

/ I have nothing otherwise to say that is pertinent to this discussion.
// other than CTHULU!!!!
 
2009-08-29 01:41:31 AM
AHA! I knew it!

Conflicker is just yet another plot by Nyarlathotep.
 
2009-08-29 04:40:45 AM
Conficker, digital herpes.
 
2009-08-29 04:48:05 AM
"They must know it was the Worms; the slithering scurrying worms whose scampering will never let me sleep; the daemon worms that race behind the padding in this room and beckon me down to greater horrors than I have ever known; the worms they can never hear; the worms, the worms in the walls."

It's just mice, get a cat, maybe two.
 
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