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(Some Guy)   Russian communists want to clone Stalin   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
•       •       •

3390 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Mar 2003 at 11:35 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

87 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-03-05 09:50:05 AM  
I take it this is the new plot for the next Command and Conquer game?
2003-03-05 10:17:48 AM  
What, he didn't slaughter enough people in his first incarnation?
2003-03-05 10:25:05 AM  
Stalin. The one man that can make Hitler look like a saint.
2003-03-05 10:32:11 AM  
"Honey wake up. They are cloning Stalin."

[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-05 11:23:18 AM  
Hey, Randy. Thanks for the chuckle.
2003-03-05 11:39:21 AM  
Idiots. First off, cloning someone doesn't mean they will be the same person as the first incarnation. My clone would look like me, might be a little loud and arrogant and like to drink too much, but that's it. Life experiences are just as important as genetics when determining who we are as people.

Oh yeah, there's the fact that he killed between 10-50 MILLION PEOPLE. What kind of a sick mind would want to bring someone like that back?
2003-03-05 11:39:40 AM  
"The Boys from Kamchatka"?
2003-03-05 11:40:21 AM  
A group of Russian communists want to clone Joseph Stalin to bring back the good old days.

Ah the good old days of gulags, collectivization, and starvation
2003-03-05 11:41:02 AM  
2003-03-05 11:41:28 AM  
They just rented this:
[image from too old to be available]
2003-03-05 11:42:30 AM  
we need to go ahead and clone the olsen twins.. u know..for future generations
2003-03-05 11:43:10 AM  
All the people who point out that "cloning doesn't work like that", and I'm the first person to point out that Stalin wasn't a Communist?

Well, he wasn't a Communist in the same way that America isn't a monopoly and Bush Lite isn't a Free-Marketer - we can call ourselves whatever we want, we're just stealing the word from what it really means.
2003-03-05 11:44:07 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

dont you mean THIS?
2003-03-05 11:44:18 AM  
If you can't have Stalin, how about Stalingrad?
2003-03-05 11:44:19 AM  
In $0V137 RU$$1A..... ahhh fark it....
2003-03-05 11:44:22 AM  
" bring back the 'good old days'..."

WHEEEE !!!!!
2003-03-05 11:44:52 AM  
"Russian communist"

Isn't that a little redundant?

They're all commie bastards!
2003-03-05 11:44:53 AM  
2003-03-05 11:45:02 AM  
Too bad but Russian smart guys know that you'd have to go through the trouble of raising cloned Stalin, and then educating cloned Stalin, and then hoping to recreate events that made the old Stalin think and act the way he did, and then trying to install cloned Stalin as a dictator with the support of the military, and then making sure the cloned Stalin... wait a sec, this is a huge waste of time.
2003-03-05 11:46:44 AM  
Maybe if they clone Trotsky too, it'll all work out in the end...cause communism works if you don't kill all the worker camps....millions of them...
2003-03-05 11:47:28 AM  

So what you are saying is that we should feel guilty for being successful in this country? Your heart bleeds too much.

Stalin was a totalitarian, we agree on that.
2003-03-05 11:49:36 AM  
MC PeePants:

I think he was saying that people often cloak themselves in an ideology that they don't buy to enhance their public image. Although your defensiveness suggests that you have something that you are feeling guilty about.
2003-03-05 11:52:17 AM  

Nah, nothing to feel guilt about. Just stupid. I understand now.
2003-03-05 11:54:08 AM  
And when they do clone him, I hope the first thing he does is to go bowling with Hitler's head.

[image from too old to be available]

2003-03-05 11:54:10 AM  
These capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes now, eh comrades?
2003-03-05 11:55:02 AM  
Someone post a good bio of Stalin.
Kids today think Hitler was the worst person ever.
And that Joan of Ark was Noah's wife.
2003-03-05 11:55:36 AM  
Stalin eh yea.. russia needs the purge again..
2003-03-05 11:57:12 AM  
I hope they DO clone him and raise him in a communist society. Then when they put him in power, he can say, "communism sucks", and maybe that will be the end of it.
2003-03-05 11:57:33 AM  
[image from too old to be available]


[image from too old to be available]

2003-03-05 11:58:28 AM  
We can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world's first Bionic Dictator. Joseph Stalin will be that man. Better than he was before.
Better ... stronger ... faster ...
2003-03-05 12:00:04 PM  
Heh...I don't know if any of you farkers ever saw it but when I was in Hungary in late 1999 there was this wacky animated music video called Rambo 13 by some Hungarian ska group. It was one of the most trippy things I ever saw while not tripping.

Anyway, it was all about bringing Lenin statues to life, very similar to Stalin cloning. Uh...anyone able to back me up here?
2003-03-05 12:03:36 PM  
Hitler's American grandnephews surrender.
2003-03-05 12:05:57 PM  
Didn't Cobra Commander try this?
2003-03-05 12:06:09 PM  
They saved Stalin's brain! (someone had to say it)
2003-03-05 12:07:47 PM  
yea did you all know stalin killed more people then hitler, he just hated everyone and didnt discriminate.

he killed like 60 million people..... hitler killed.. what? 6?(i honestly forget now i thought it was around there)

hating everyone and killing them = not picky = not bad.
2003-03-05 12:08:35 PM  
randy - great one.......
2003-03-05 12:19:19 PM  
Say they did clone Stalin. How would that kid/clone grow up? How would it feel knowing that you already have the capacity to kill millions of people?

A sane man might think about offing himself before it can happen again. But then again, this is Stalin we're talkin' about.
2003-03-05 12:24:20 PM  
"almost a third of Russians, according to recent polls, believe Stalin was a great leader who should be remembered for the good he did."

No wonder that Russia has so much empathy for Saddam.
2003-03-05 12:26:44 PM  
We can just give him Ashcroft and have him change his name. Why bother with cloning at all?

Actually, this is a sad testament to the truth. People would rather trade freedom for social order and predictability. We are getting the barest taste of that now in the US. Russian society is in total chaos. Gansters running everything. Arbitrary killings, extortion, corruption, you name it. People would rather live in a familiar, though repressive, cage than a similiar one filled with fear and uncertainty.
2003-03-05 12:28:05 PM  
hahhhhahha exactly leviathan. I think chances are the cloned stalin could be a nice guy, because of that human tendency to distance yourself from surroundings that are *forced* on you; like parents, home or school, and cloned brothers...

Then again maybe he would grow up to be an exact replica of Stalin, and then just give the American forces something else to kick the ass of!

or maybe like Mercutio suggested, communists will go through a huge ordeal to recreate stalinist surroundings, only to give up in the end and abandon the stalin clone in the dilithium mines of Remus, who later becomes mad with power due in part to genetic degeneration, and leads a team of warriors to destroy the earth.
2003-03-05 12:28:30 PM  
Those Russians who think fondly of Stalin are cut from the same
fabric as those in the US who think the dropping of the atom bomb on hiroshima
was OK, or that Andrew Jackson was a great man, even though he
masacred so many native americans.
2003-03-05 12:28:59 PM  
Pfft, in A.N.S.W.E.R's dreams.
2003-03-05 12:32:04 PM  
cough cough...he wasnt a communist. He was a totalitarian.
2003-03-05 12:32:42 PM  
Why go to all of the expense of cloning, when they could recruit some very worthy comrades off of Fark?
Many of you here would make wonderful communist. You talk the talk, now is the time to walk the walk. Don't sell yourselves short. You can do it! I know you can.

Now leave,
2003-03-05 12:37:59 PM  
BlindHampster - you wouldn't make to bad of a Stalin yourself.
"Off to the goolag with you farkers"
2003-03-05 12:40:26 PM  
I take it no-one else read that as "Russian communists want to clone Satan". Nope? No-one? Just me then. (*sigh*)
2003-03-05 12:44:42 PM  
Sorry to disappoint you, but I know Stalin was probably the most vile dictator in history AND I think that bombing hiroshima and nagasaki was ok. An invasion of of the Japanese mainland would have cost an estimated 1 million American lives, against an entire population that was brainwashed into thinking we were going to eat their children. Don't think so? Ask the Japanese in the Philippines who murdered their whole families or jumped from the cliffs into the sea rather than have them be captured by American forces. The only way the Japanese could have surrendered and saved face without further bloodshed is if they were confronted by an enemy with such overwhelming power that they simply had no other choice. To surrender under any other circumstances would have been a disgrace to them.

And, if you really knew what you were talking about, you would know that the firebombing campaign over tokyo took just as many lives at hiroshima and nagasaki, but you just... don't.

YOu are just one of those liberal idealists who can't see the forest through the trees. This world isn't run by idealists, its run by pragmatists, which is why you will always be screaming at the rain.
2003-03-05 12:47:53 PM  
Farkmoninov - I agree with you in principle (except for the name calling
of course) but I think that if you can't see the full negative
effect of actually using WMDs now, then you're being naive.

Now that they're being aimed at me and my family it just aint
so funny any more.
2003-03-05 12:49:40 PM  

Please don't eat the troll bait. Being right, means nothing here.
2003-03-05 12:53:29 PM  

Man, that was really well put.
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