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(Some Lonely Guy)   How to get phone numbers from strippers   (sosuave.com ) divider line
    More: Unlikely  
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26132 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Mar 2003 at 12:57 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



289 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2003-03-05 06:35:37 AM  
"Ask her if it's her real name or her stage name"...???
For crying out loud, of course it's her stage name! A lot of clubs will put you on their 'bounce' list for asking a question like that.
 
2003-03-05 07:51:15 AM  
Who would want a stripper's number? What for - Dial a social disease?
 
2003-03-05 08:26:09 AM  
(if you attend strip clubs alone something is wrong)
Now see, if you're going to make all of these freaky rules!
 
2003-03-05 09:05:43 AM  
Or you could just bring a female with you...chances are 'said stripper' would feel more comfortable giving her number to another female....
 
2003-03-05 09:07:13 AM  
Good idea, FLA Chickie! So I can go to one strip club, and get a stripper to go with me to the next strip show, and then I'll definitely be able to get her number! Kewl.
 
2003-03-05 09:27:03 AM  
The trick is how do you get the first stripper? Once that is done, this plan has the potential for perpetual stripper satisfaction. I like it.

About the article:
Ask her if she goes to school

Pah leese! We all know the answer will be "yes". What's the point?
 
2003-03-05 09:35:14 AM  
Step 1: Steal underwear
...
Step 3: Profit
 
2003-03-05 10:10:37 AM  
Stevarooni: I'll go with you if you pay for my lap dance ;)
 
2003-03-05 10:20:31 AM  
Hmm. OK, FLA Chickie, but I drive. Otherwise I'm sure I won't have a ride home!
 
2003-03-05 11:19:30 AM  
Who would want a stripper's number? What for - Dial a social disease?

Look at it from her point of view, she doesn't want to give out her number for exactly the same reason. Who knows what kind of filth all these guys have been rolling in? You can't get it up for your wife but you think you can excite a stripper? etc. etc.

If you really want her number, tell her you'll do her taxes. That usually gets their attention...
 
2003-03-05 11:44:45 AM  
If you really want her number, tell her you'll do her taxes. That usually gets their attention...

We all know now where Numberz hangs out after a long day at work. ;)

Educate me. Do they declare their tips? Are their boob jobs tax deductible? I bet a lot of them are paid under the table (and on the table, and bent over the chair....)
 
2003-03-05 12:10:42 PM  
Major strip clubs are a very lucrative business, at least here in Texas. Most are set up where the strippers are "independent contractors". That means the club provides them a place to perform (with DJ, lights, stage), a dressing room, a locker, etc. and the dancer pays them for it.

The dancer is in charge of declaring their own earnings and doing their own taxes. I'm not sure cosmetic surgery is deductable, but clothes, makeup, etc. are, I'm pretty sure. (it's considered a costume).

One club I know of kept about 100,000 in $1 bills in their safe to make change. The club makes all their money on the front door charge and drink sales, the dancer makes her money from tips, everyone wins.

If it were me, I would never give my number out to some slob that came in to watch me flash my boobies. I can say that since it'll never happen (unless middle aged man-boobs become a hot commodity soon)
 
2003-03-05 12:14:53 PM  
I tell them that I am a Nigerian that needs her to hold on to my money and I need her phone number to contact her. It rarely works though. It might be because I'm white.
 
2003-03-05 12:24:26 PM  
Their clothes are tax deductible? What clothes? ;)
 
2003-03-05 12:29:05 PM  
Sudie, what kind of clubs do you go to? They can't strip if they start out nekkid, silly!

There was a deal in the Dallas paper a while back about a stripper for one of the big clubs that flew in to dance on weekends. She was a college student in California or someplace. Made six figures. I'm not making this up.

All of this is making me hungry. Must be lunchtime...
 
2003-03-05 12:41:10 PM  
I like dating strippers. Sometimes, late at night, after the luvin is done, we lie there together and I slowly and lovingly run my fingers through her genital warts - just cause I care.
 
2003-03-05 12:57:17 PM  
Numberz, why swinger clubs, of course.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

And I would think they start out half-nekkid. The IRS is getting swindled.
 
2003-03-05 01:05:14 PM  
I don't think there is a cool or smooth way to pick up a chick who works for tips. Think about it....of course she's going to be nice and flirty she's there to make money. Lemme guess your going to impress her by leaving such a big tip?
 
2003-03-05 01:05:23 PM  
I just ask them for the damn thing but I never call them.
 
2003-03-05 01:06:23 PM  
Oh, and maybe I get so many cause I tell them I'm a drug dealer.
 
2003-03-05 01:06:37 PM  
I got to the point where he said "if you attend strip clubs alone something is wrong".

I think that if you've refined the art of picking up strippers to the point where you feel comfortable writing a how-to manual, then something is wrong.

/self-righteousness
 
2003-03-05 01:06:52 PM  
If you talked about how much you two both hate the San Francisco Giants, write "Greg, 555-2351, go San Fran!"

So then she'll think you're a complete retard.

/female perpective
 
2003-03-05 01:06:55 PM  
I think that stripper really liked me...
 
2003-03-05 01:07:16 PM  
Hee hee...and my fiancee was worried about my bachelor party before!
 
2003-03-05 01:07:40 PM  
errr... perspective even. I think.
 
2003-03-05 01:07:50 PM  
Sometimes, late at night, after the luvin is done, we lie there together and I slowly and lovingly run my fingers through her genital warts - just cause I care.

That's one of the most disturbing things I've ever read. Bleh.
 
2003-03-05 01:08:42 PM  
that was the stupidest shiat i've ever read. this guy sounds like a freak. how do people like this get web pages. who wants a stripper's phone number anyway. strippers are NASTAY.
 
2003-03-05 01:10:34 PM  
When is his followup article gonna be online, "How to live with genital herpes" ?
 
2003-03-05 01:10:43 PM  
I got a number once...asked her out..forgot about the date and flaked...on a stripper?!? a few months later my buddies and i were at another club...the music starts and out comes miss flaked on..she starts dancing notices me and flips me off...after her dance security asks us to leave? oh well...lets see how those girls make the BMW payments now!
simple rule...don't flake
 
2003-03-05 01:10:57 PM  
if you attend strip clubs alone something is wrong


Whatever.

 
2003-03-05 01:11:15 PM  
Sodium Pentathol, electrodes and a baseball bat always work for me.
 
2003-03-05 01:11:26 PM  
What a jackass.

Most of these women are hookers, idiot, if you want her you pay for her.
 
2003-03-05 01:11:53 PM  
Funny Story:

The son of the person who owned a panzarotti business in my town gave a stripper a "special dollar" with his number on it with instructions to call the next Monday. It was the number of the place he and I were working at so every time the phone rang (keep in mind that this was a pizza joint after 5:00) he would jump up all excited like and answer the phone.

It was alway an order. Throughout the night, he became more and more depressed and I had to supress my laughter. He had gotten reeled in by a girl who knew how to sugar daddy someone. He got played like a piano.

HAHA.
 
2003-03-05 01:11:54 PM  
Dogfather, good point, lol.
 
2003-03-05 01:12:11 PM  
fyi-
some clubs in Los Angeles make $20,000 + a month in lap dances alone !
niiiice
 
2003-03-05 01:12:38 PM  
This article is crap, there's two sure fire ways to get the digits from a stripper, you could say you have a bunch of coke, crack, crank, heroine, whatever she's into back at your place, she'll give you the digits and maybe stop by after work.

The other way, personal favorite, when they ask you what kind of work you do because they want you to believe they really care, just tell them you run an adult website or you design webpages for 'entertainers' most of the time they either want to work up to the porn industry or at least get thier own website. Not that I pick up strippers or anything.
 
2003-03-05 01:12:43 PM  
As told to me by a friend,

The Seven Dilemmas of Dating strippers:

1) They're always broke
2) They never seem to have a working phone
3) They have a kid
4) They have a boyfriend/husband
5) They have a girlfriend
6) Drug problem
7) Prostitute

Going by this, I'm not sure how far a phone number is going to get you...
 
2003-03-05 01:12:54 PM  
Folded_Soup

Do I detect an Onion reference?
 
2003-03-05 01:14:09 PM  
Wow. I feel a "rant" coming on. I work as a bartender in a strip club. None of the girls go to school. They strip to pay their bills. I like the girls, but, the truth is they are lazy, some take drugs and they only talk to you because they want your money. All of the girls that work at my bar bring their money home to a man. If you think they gave you their phone number for a date, you are sadly mistaken and I feel very sorry for you.
 
2003-03-05 01:14:13 PM  
if you attend strip clubs alone something is wrong

Actually, I think that if you need to pay someone to give you attention that there is something wrong, but then again, I once broke up with a girl because she wanted to be a stripper.
 
2003-03-05 01:15:10 PM  
On my last date we went to see strippers.
 
2003-03-05 01:15:37 PM  
I got the phone number from a stripper at The Carousel Club in NYC once, but then got in a car accident a week later, and lost it in the wreck. She was hot, too! I took her into the VIP Room, and she sat on my lap completely naked and showed me her clit. She let me suck her breasts and do everything except have actual sex, which was fine by me. We talked a lot and had that "stripper-customer connection" ... we just kind-of clicked. And towards the end she *offered* to give me her number! Wow! It was a perfect opportunity that I blew. Not only did I lose her number in the crash, but I also broke my knee cap, and have just started to gain full walking abilities now. Heh... life does suck.

-M
 
2003-03-05 01:15:43 PM  
I got a strippers number once,
I'll give it to all of you that are interested.

four five six - seven eight nine ten

I think it was the one two three area code,
but I am not sure.
 
2003-03-05 01:16:06 PM  
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
 
2003-03-05 01:16:22 PM  
Speaking as an ex-employee of a strip club, this article is complete bullshiet
 
2003-03-05 01:16:56 PM  
A friend of mine got a stripper's number once. All it took was months of going to the club on a regular basis, spending a whole LOT of money on her, and making her think he was rich. They went out once. That's when he found out she was looking for a rich guy to take care of her and her child.

Moral of the story... it's fun to go to strip clubs on a regular basis.
 
2003-03-05 01:18:02 PM  
Strippers are dead inside, I prefer someone alive.
 
2003-03-05 01:18:16 PM  
One friend's strategy is to come in with a few hits of E. He flirts with a few hotties over the night, and proposes to one that for her last hour or so of her shift, she come by to him and he'll give her a hit of E. Then the two of them can grind for a while. When her shift is up, he proposes that they go run around for a bit, and he's ended up bagging a few strippers this way. A quid-pro-quo: they both have a great time, without paying for dances.

Not that I'd ever have the balls or the inclination to do that. Just an interesting tale.
 
2003-03-05 01:18:20 PM  
Craven Moorehead:- Mate, every guy reading that last comment immediately checked out your profile, and said "Male, Damn"
 
2003-03-05 01:18:43 PM  
All you have to say is:

a) "I've got drugs."
b) "My hot girlfriend/wife is bi."
c) both
 
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