mikemoto: This man is a hero.

Indeed. Amazing.

And he LIKED it!

WTFDYW: I now know why it is so dark here today. This guys balls are blocking the sun

Hehe.

Candiru fish = bad

"Some days he even had to wear a pillowcase over his head, with slits for the eyes and mouth to protect his face from the heat."

Hm. Amazonians probably cursing their luck as it appeared to some the KKK had invaded their river.

This is really cool.

However, comparing this to swimming in a pool is not really accurate. I would be willing to bet the river did a large portion of the work.

He is awesome not because of the distance, but because of the danger. The Amazon is viscous as fark.

This thread is perfectly fine without pics

But of all the dangers, the one Martin feared most was the tiny candiru, otherwise known as the vampire fish, a parasite with a vicious tactic. It is attracted by the scent of urine and enters the body by swimming up the penis. Once inside it locks itself on with a series of spikes and feeds off blood and tissue. Surgery is the only way to remove it. And if Martin was attacked the nearest emergency ward was hundreds of miles away.

DO NOT WANT!

Bad. Ass. This guy is Loretta Lynn tough. And brother, that's about as tough as it gets on the scale.

Yeah, if I was swimming in there I would wear a condom because of the candiru...

BULLshiat.

Independent citation and verification needed.

/ niger please

tiny candiru....mmm hot

without evidence or pics

this is a made-up story and i refuse to be impressed

How is this impressive? I would guess that 99% of the downstream movement was just being in the current. Want to impress me. Swim UP the river. Otherwise it is just someone crazy enough to keep his body in the water for ten hours a day for two months.

And part of it doesn't quite ring true. Piranha bites take a chunk of flesh with them. It isn't something that you can shrug off like a bee sting.

WTFDYW: I now know why it is so dark here today. This guys balls are blocking the sun

Unusual testicular growth is an indication of a pretty nasty parasitic infection

He swam the Yangtze? I can't understand why anyone would get in the Yangtze willingly.

Emposter: The Amazon is viscous as fark.

Like molasses?

Once he had to be hauled from the water screaming in pain, as shoals of piranha fish gnawed at his leg.

i don't know why but the visual cracked me up.

/i owe myself a keyboard
//havent slept since sat afternoon.

He must have many "Urban Ranger" badges, no?


Hot...szszszsz

madgonad: How is this impressive? I would guess that 99% of the downstream movement was just being in the current. Want to impress me. Swim UP the river. Otherwise it is just someone crazy enough to keep his body in the water for ten hours a day for two months.

And part of it doesn't quite ring true. Piranha bites take a chunk of flesh with them. It isn't something that you can shrug off like a bee sting.

I wondered about that too. TFA mentioned a wetsuit he urinated in. Maybe a full body suit with something extra built in? Earlier in TFA they mention his belly hanging over his speedos but I can't imagine he went speedo down the Amazon. A wetsuit lubed in gasoline might be a big deterent to many critters.

50 miles a day?

I declare shenanigans.

"Tarantulas, giant millipedes and scorpions would drop off the trees into the river, often getting entangled in his hair. Birds would fly down and attempt to peck at his face. Larvae burrowed into his skin and his face was stung by wasps."

Who makes this sh*t up? I'll buy the larva, maybe, if he stayed still in standing water long enough. The rest of that is pure whargarble though.

Rozinante: Emposter: The Amazon is viscous as fark.

Like molasses?

Meh, I blame my spell checker.


Also, more like paper mache.

Hmmmm, where to start.....

MBA Whore: Independent citation and verification needed.

/ niger please

mrEdude: without evidence or pics

this is a made-up story and i refuse to be impressed

So the film about him, and the film crew filming his every action during the swim isn't verification enough? The things they can do with CGI apparently...

Mugato: I'd be afraid of the snakes most of all but the creature that crawls up the dick would be pretty bad too.

People who believe in intelligent design must think God has a very sick sense of humor.

Man, there is shiat in there that evolution forgot. Just not a good design, but too tough/scary to die out as a species. I saw things in the Chattanooga Aquarium Amazon exhibit that still haunt my dreams. (shudder) Of course, there was an exhibit on the local lake, and what I initially thought was a large rock moved and turned out to be an 8 ft catfish, so I'm not going swimming up there anytime soon either.

To reduce the risk, Martin never exposed himself to urinate and always did it inside his wetsuit.

He was wearing a wetsuit. That would help with all the critters. And since he probably just floated down the river, not really swam--I think the current is really strong in most places-- why didn't he just take a raft?

Not saying he's a wuss, but for endurance feats, I don't see the point of this one. Sounds like he thought it up while he was drunk.

porcelain808: Candiru

THIS!
That guy has huge nards just to brave the Candiru.
Don't piss in the Amazon!!!

cryinoutloud: To reduce the risk, Martin never exposed himself to urinate and always did it inside his wetsuit.

He was wearing a wetsuit. That would help with all the critters. And since he probably just floated down the river, not really swam--I think the current is really strong in most places-- why didn't he just take a raft?

Not saying he's a wuss, but for endurance feats, I don't see the point of this one. Sounds like he thought it up while he was drunk.

most people give up the resolutions they made while being drunk. the answer? stay drunk.

/he sure does.

UncleCal: porcelain808: Candiru

THIS!
That guy has huge nards just to brave the Candiru.
Don't piss in the Amazon!!!

I pissed in the amazon. I also wore tighty whitey's and bike shorts. Some of you need to realize how bad the bugs are on the river down there. I got stung/bitten by all kinds of shiat. I'd rather swim in the amazon than some of the heavily polluted rivers in America.

Mugato: I think the endurance was facing all the creatures that shipofthesun was alluding to, not the actual swimming. I thought the Everglades was bad but it's a pleasant meadow compared to the farking Amazon.

I would rather be forced to cross the Everglades on foot than go down the Amazon in a canoe. I can hope to outrun a gator, but to outswim things? My best hope is to play dead until the Air Force arrives.

One of the biggest dangers of swimming the amazon is getting parrots in your ass. The Amazonian Ass Parrot is one of the most vicious anal parrots in the world. The brown feathered bird will often swoop down from its high perch to enter an unsuspecting person's rectum and lay its eggs, sometimes vacationing in its host's ass for OVER A WEEK! Gotta watch your cornhole for those ass parrots man. The Amazon: Not for sissy girly men!

pubes: Gotta watch your cornhole for those ass parrots man.

Hehe.

Vicious fowl.

pubes: One of the biggest dangers of swimming the amazon is getting parrots in your ass. The Amazonian Ass Parrot is one of the most vicious anal parrots in the world. The brown feathered bird will often swoop down from its high perch to enter an unsuspecting person's rectum and lay its eggs, sometimes vacationing in its host's ass for OVER A WEEK! Gotta watch your cornhole for those ass parrots man. The Amazon: Not for sissy girly men!

UPIA? Lol. The most annoying animal to me when I was there was what we called the night wasps. The wasps out during the day were similar to our red wasps. The black wasps out at night would make a bird shiat its britches. We stayed on the boat and did not go out at night.

/cool story, bro, I know.

This was a nearly unbelieveable feat! A testament to human determination and endurance. Some of you pre-pubescent boys trying to minimize the magnitude of it need to STFU and come back when your balls drop...

Came for the candiru fi....aaiiiieeeeee!

I dare someone to go walk around on his lawn.

I think I found him...

This guy craps Chuck Norris.

Approves. And thanks him for finding Grover Cleveland's Presidential Time Machine.

cryinoutloud

...... Sounds like he thought it up while he was drunk.



Which automatically doubles awesome content of this guy.

FTA:"Martin never exposed himself to urinate and always did it inside his wetsuit... Add unrelenting diarrhoea to that...

"Oh, taking off the ol' wetsuit, Pop? Umm... I'll be at the other end of the boat.