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(Some transcript)   Transcript of recent SNL hosted by Walken. Colonel Angus surrenders   (snltranscripts.jt.org) divider line 65
    More: Walken  
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10621 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Mar 2003 at 8:26 AM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-03-05 04:24:51 AM  
"Break out some fresh linens, Bedilia! We're gonna have Colonel Angus here tonight!"

Instant classic.
 
2003-03-05 08:31:07 AM  
"Good. Because I hate Stiffly Stiffersons. I wanna prank them for hours.. in my basement. "


Quality episode...though it needs more cowbell

/obvious
 
2003-03-05 08:31:07 AM  
"But sometimes, Colonel Angus just rubs you the wrong way."
 
2003-03-05 08:31:54 AM  
No-o-o.. you can only take so much of Colonel Angus.
 
2003-03-05 08:32:44 AM  
"I can do crazy mix-em-ups. Whatever I want!"
I lost it.
 
2003-03-05 08:35:19 AM  
I can also admit that it was a mistake to use all the flares from this lifeboat to light my farts. I was trying to improve.. raft morale, but only succeeded in causing some.. pretty.. serious.. burn scars. Also, in regards to the past two nights, I'd like to apologize for the.. gay stuff.

I can't stop! Help!!
 
2003-03-05 08:35:26 AM  
Let me get this straight. Someone transcribes SNL?!?


/nolife
 
2003-03-05 08:36:23 AM  
"I can also admit that it was a mistake to use all the flares from this lifeboat to light my farts... Also, in regards to the past two nights, I'd like to apologize for the.. gay stuff."

This whole website is such a great workplace-productivity killer.
 
2003-03-05 08:36:50 AM  
Indeed...which prevents idiots like me from totally skrewing up the skits

/nolife X's 2
 
2003-03-05 08:37:50 AM  
Agreed Balto...agreed

Did I say that outloud? I'm sorry boss, I meant to say....
 
2003-03-05 08:38:19 AM  
Sorry, Slackerfunt, seems we have the same twisted sense of humor.
 
2003-03-05 08:38:56 AM  
Great minds think alike....or twisted minds think alike....ah whatever....
 
2003-03-05 08:40:20 AM  
That's big talk from a country whose only contributions to world culture in the last 50 years are Gerard Depardieu and that horny skunk!

Great episode except for the Britney Spears response to allegations. WTF was up with that?
 
2003-03-05 08:42:44 AM  
Sweeps week Malinois...sweeps week
 
2003-03-05 08:47:40 AM  
I forgot myself, and let the little head think for the big one. What can I say? I'm a guy!
 
2003-03-05 08:59:12 AM  
Quality episode...though it needs more cowbell

If you watched Leno last night and listened when Walken came on and when they came back from commercial break with him, the band was real heavy on the cowbell. I was laughing my ass off.
 
2003-03-05 09:01:07 AM  
Drats! Curses!

Didn't watch said show.....such a shame--I was too busy sleeping. The question is...did they explore the space?
 
2003-03-05 09:04:27 AM  
Jeebus That Leno, so original! Of course, the Max Weinberg 7 played "Don't Fear the Reaper" when Walken did Conan the week leading up to the SNL appearance.
 
2003-03-05 09:07:43 AM  
One of the better Continental episodes in this one.
 
2003-03-05 09:09:15 AM  
Needs more cowbell.
 
2003-03-05 09:09:51 AM  
Glad to see that SNL is still sucky after all these years, and that I didn't miss a damn thing.
 
2003-03-05 09:17:27 AM  
There was a copy of this episode floating around somewhere, where can I get my hands on it? I don't get SNL here
 
2003-03-05 09:22:43 AM  
I didn't understand that whole colonel angus skit. I get the impression that "colonel angus" is a nickname for some devious sex act or something.

can anyone clarify what colonel angus means?
 
2003-03-05 09:25:57 AM  
When spoken in a Southern accent, "Colonel Angus" sounds a lot like "cunnilingus".
 
2003-03-05 09:26:58 AM  
cunnilingus
 
2003-03-05 09:30:32 AM  
bah, they took a gamble with that skit. The audience response was small, you can tell most of the audience never knew what cunnilingus meant.

God they have a word for everything these days.
 
2003-03-05 09:31:25 AM  
The Colonel Angus skit was OK, but it doesn't hold a candle to the "Asswipe" skit with the original SNL cast, or the "Lord and Lady Douchebag" bit with the originals as well.
 
2003-03-05 09:34:40 AM  
I need more cowbell!!
 
2003-03-05 09:37:42 AM  
Speaking of which...where is Cunnilingus? I couldn't stop thinking about him/her/it whilst watching that skit...
 
2003-03-05 09:40:38 AM  
LIDuffManII I didn't get it either. I now understand and would like to see the skit again with my new understanding. I got the jist of the skit as you did, that the repetition of his name meant something either sexual or gross. NOW I get it. A day late and a dollar short.
 
2003-03-05 09:40:55 AM  
Anyone want me to post the SNL Episode again? Maybe just the Colonel Angus Skit? Or do you want a copy of last night's leno appearance? I'll put them on my website for a while if any farkers would like...
 
2003-03-05 09:47:05 AM  
Strange how Fark is always sucking Walken's dick, but he doesn't even give the site the time of day. Kind of sad.
 
2003-03-05 09:47:23 AM  
Where does the 'needs more cowbell' line come from? I thought it was a Homer Simpson line, but I suffer from short term memory loss and I can't remember why.
 
2003-03-05 09:49:57 AM  
Put 'em up Probius. Colonel Agus and the Leno appearance. And maybe Britney (for the b00bies).
 
2003-03-05 09:50:13 AM  
Christ... don't take it personal folks, but SNL isn't exactly subdued or surreptitious about it's jokes these days. If you don't understand "kanalangus" (and later I think they threw in a couple "analangus"), then you're either too dumb or too smart for SNL (I hope it's the latter). I think the skit was ok, but it was, like most of their stuff, overdone x10. That doesn't mean I will stop watching, because every now and again you'll get comedy gold (the 'cowbell' skit, for example).
 
Rat [TotalFark]
2003-03-05 09:56:21 AM  
"You know.. beauty.. it's so important.. especially in these dark times.. because.. without beauty, the terrorists.. will have truly won."

who says walken doesn't read FARK???
 
2003-03-05 09:57:26 AM  
Less Britney, more cowbell.

Also, The Steve Martin appearence was pointless for two reasons:
1) It just wasn't that funny
2) It's for promoting a movie that will surely hurt his box office draw in the future.
 
2003-03-05 09:58:01 AM  
"There's no stopping the BIRD ATTACKS now!!"
 
2003-03-05 10:02:35 AM  
"I'm out of cocaine now--that won't be a problem anymore!"
 
2003-03-05 10:06:36 AM  
Maybe if his name was "Colonel Oralstimulationtothefemalegenitalia" it would have been funnier.
 
2003-03-05 10:06:42 AM  
Is it just me, or was this one of Walken's weaker SNL episodes? Nothing (not even Colonel Angus) approached Stalk Talk, Cowbell and I didn't even like this Continental.

Best part of the show for me was the scene with Walken and Will Farrell and Jim Carrey spontaneously appearing on stage with the Foo Fighters. Other than that....
 
2003-03-05 10:08:36 AM  
I must confess.. without the frogs, my cuisine - excuse me, "food" - has suffered.. but.. what have we here? [ holds out tray of vending machine snacks ] Bugles.. with cream cheese. We got.. ants-on-a-log - hello! Combos.. they cheese your hunger away! Enjoy!

Classic.
 
2003-03-05 10:16:19 AM  
I'm sorry but SNL just really sucks the big weenie. "Yay, come quick, there are people reading cue-cards on TV!"
However, I will admit that this episode was better than the latest batch of crap and that Walken is a demi-god - but in general I find that SNL is really hurting when it comes to writing, but the execution by the comedians/actors is what kills it. I just don't understand why they can't get their skits down and not rely on reading the material from cards... it isn't that hard. If they could just eliminate the cards, even if the writing sucked, we wouldn't be distracted by the moving eyes and focusing on cue cards, which seems to highlight how bad the dialog is.
 
2003-03-05 10:22:57 AM  
03-05-03 10:16:19 AM Greggieb
I'm sorry but SNL just really sucks the big weenie. "Yay, come quick, there are people reading cue-cards on TV!"

I think part of the "Walken on SNL" charm is the fact he blatantly looks off-camera to read his lines.  It also gives the appearance he hasn't rehearsed the material, or actually met anyone in the cast prior to air-time.
 
2003-03-05 10:28:06 AM  
The 'Cowbell' sketch can be found by doing a Google search.
 
2003-03-05 10:34:47 AM  
Half of the fun is watching everyone break down laughing because somebody did something better than they did in rehearsal. I agree that SNL is on the downslide, but I also agree that watching Walken read/decipher his cue cards is the other half of the fun.

I also agree that I'm a bumbling moron. So where does that leave us?
 
2003-03-05 10:37:01 AM  
Probius

If you could post those that would be super! I never managed to get the whole episode the first time.
 
2003-03-05 10:41:27 AM  
 
2003-03-05 10:42:53 AM  
The best part was when he killed that guy with the tire iron.
 
2003-03-05 10:44:48 AM  
I pranked him...

That part was mucho funny--I rolled my head off the floor laughing.....
 
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