I couldn't help but look at that fatty mc fatty

I know of someone who could really use a coconut splitter. I saw him on an internet video once.

The pic in the right sidebar:



Someone has been eating a hell of a lot of coconuts.

Solution:

FTFA: "It should be a simple method that can be used by women and even old people"

Surely it's a modern-day miracle.

This will work... (new window)

have they tried a stick? or those devices they use to pick apples at apple orchards?

What starts with C, ends with T, and has a U and an N in the middle?

gopher321: Maybe Guybrush Threepwood could help with that.

I can't remember, was it a cannon? a monkey? a feather and a pirate's foot?

joness0154: Solution:

dammit!

I was hoping to get in, and back out, before anyone posted the dreaded coconut crab!

/runs in terror

My first thought was...get a pecan shaker. It's a rig that grabs the trunk of a pecan tree and shakes the shiat out of it, and all the pecans fall to the ground.

It's much easier to pick them up off the ground than climb way the hell up there.

BUT...this would never work in India because unlike our pecan groves of America where the trees are in nice neat rows, they're pretty haphazard and you'd never get the machine in between the trees.

SO, your only option is to climb the tree, which no one wants to do because they're too lazy or cheap to get the protective gear so that when they fall out of the tree, it's game over.

Easy solution...cut down some of the trees to make room for a more efficient machine, or get the protective gear needed to climb a tree.

Common Sense....not too common anymore.

I wonder if they've been introduced to the chainsaw..

Here in Thailand, they send a monkey on a leash up there to knock them down. They even have a Monkey School on the island to train the for this task. Strange but true.

One million rupees that's what, like $5?

make shorter trees
train monkeys
bucket truck
hot air balloon
rifle
stick
Find a good baby thrower and knock them out of the trees with babies
pogo stick
stilts
trampoline
air cannon shooting some poor bastard thru the trees
special air cannon that fires a stream of air to knock out the nuts
water cannon
Have the US subsidize it
cowboys and rope

i've already designed a machine to do this in my head in 5 minutes

/engineer in training

Tito the King of the Streets: One million rupees that's what, like $5?

It is £12,500. I was thinking someone could make a hell of a lot more designing, patenting, building and selling them to India.

Here is a link for trained monkeys: Link (new window)

I wonder why this isn't feasible in India? They have lots of monkeys... for FREE.

jst3p: Someone has been eating a hell of a lot of coconuts.

Looks like he has one in each cheek.

/no, the other cheeks
//thanks for cropping of HIS coconuts

surrenderyoursushi: I wonder why this isn't feasible in India? They have lots of monkeys... for FREE.

They all work for Dell already.

jst3p: The pic in the right sidebar:



Someone has been eating a hell of a lot of coconuts.

That probably wasn't the best thing to post, considering it's a 5 yr old girl, topless.

The_Primal_Janitor: jst3p: Someone has been eating a hell of a lot of coconuts.

Looks like he has one in each cheek.

/no, the other cheeks
//thanks for cropping of HIS coconuts

Bonus: It's a she....

Suman Khatun, a five year-old obese Indian girl who suffers from a suspected hormonal imbalance, is so insatiably hungry she is eating herself to death, doctors fear

DeathByGeekSquad: jst3p: The pic in the right sidebar:



Someone has been eating a hell of a lot of coconuts.

That probably wasn't the best thing to post, considering it's a 5 yr old girl, topless.

Anyone who considers that pornographic should consider eating a bullet.

DeathByGeekSquad: jst3p: The pic in the right sidebar:



Someone has been eating a hell of a lot of coconuts.

That probably wasn't the best thing to post, considering it's a 5 yr old girl, topless.

Tis not a girl. Tis a beast!

surrenderyoursushi: Here in Thailand, they send a monkey on a leash up there to knock them down. They even have a Monkey School on the island to train the for this task. Strange but true.

Actually, that's pretty awesome.

/I'd name my monkey George

Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious.

They already make telescoping tree trimmers. I don't see why they can't use that to cut the coconut down from the tree.

Indian's apparently aren't very ingenuitive.

Quaker: FTFA:"An Indian government department is offering one million rupees to the person who can devise a way to harvest coconuts without having to shimmy up the vast palms.

Here:


I'll be awaiting my check.


The Biars Cocolift



Not so fast. My version is more compact and requires less room to operate. =)

Offer them a million rupees- Offer them ten million rupees!


/obscure?

just hire migrant workers like they do everywhere else.

uhm... this is really so challenging they need to offer a reward? how about a long, lightweight, electronically extend-able pole that attaches to a belt harness (you know, for the old folks) a couple of curved tines at 90 degrees. hook the coconut, retract the pole, dodge falling coconut, rinse, repeat.

jst3p: The pic in the right sidebar:

Someone has been eating a hell of a lot of coconuts.

Approves

/Hot like Ginger

dmnstr8: uhm... this is really so challenging they need to offer a reward? how about a long, lightweight, electronically extend-able pole that attaches to a belt harness (you know, for the old folks) a couple of curved tines at 90 degrees. hook the coconut, retract the pole, dodge falling coconut, rinse, repeat.

Does not meet requirements:

"It should be a simple method that can be used by women


Too complicated.


/ducks
//runs

I already have 999 Rupees, I can't hold anymore.

Dave and the Mission: make the places where they harvest the coconuts a tourist trap.
then make stupid tourists tip the climbers rediculously for the spectacle.
profit?

My kids and I paid to pick strawberries on our trip to cali this summer. I think you are on to something.

Sybarite: I wonder if you could just build a machine that would shake the shiat out of the tree and put up a large net below?

Similar to my thinking.

Large truck with a V-shaped net on the roof and bullbars on the front.

Get in truck, ram tree, coconuts fall into net.

Voilà.

/where's my money?

One word: Chainsaw. Not only is it easy to get them, but their value will skyrocket! This means more money for fewer coconuts. Win/Win!

>UberDave 2009-08-21 10:09:46 AM

You could just train a flock of Swallows (European)...



Yes!