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(Breitbart.com)   The Top 15 "conservative" films of the new millennium. On The Dark Knight: "Watching liberal critics gush over a not-so-thinly disguised thank you to President Bush was nearly as much fun as the movie"   (bighollywood.breitbart.com) divider line 210
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7950 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 20 Aug 2009 at 1:59 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
 
2009-08-20 08:42:09 AM
[satire]?

If anything, The Dark Knight explores the darkness that comes when the lawmen are as lawless as the criminals.
 
2009-08-20 08:56:15 AM
What a retarded article.

2. The Passion of the Christ (2004) - Easily, the purest and rawest emotional cinematic experience I've ever had. The Left's bigoted, venomous attacks combined with the film's eventual blockbuster success were almost as satisfying as the re-election of George W. Bush.

"I voted for Bush... Twice!"

3. The Dark Knight (2008) - Watching liberal critics gush over a not-so-thinly disguised thank you to President Bush and then harumph and find fault after conservatives calmly explained what this epic of action, character and allegory is really about, was nearly as much fun as the movie.

I don't even know what this means. Are they saying that Bush was Batman? Cause that is retarded.

7. 300 (2006) - God bless director Zack Snyder for not gutting and nuancing Frank Miller's brilliant take on the Battle of Thermopylae. Hopefully, someday, Hollywood will become a tolerant place where the conservative, pro-Western themes of "300″ won't have to be disguised in this way. Not that I mind. Visually, "300″ was not only richly rewarding, but proof that in the hands of a genius director CGI can enhance the story as opposed to distract.


Pro western themes? I can only assume they mean anti-Persian themes.

13. Shaun of the Dead (2004) - Funny, scary, imaginative and about as original as they come.

As awesome as this movie is, I am not sure I would call it "original". I can only assume they consider it a searing attack on the UK healthcare system.
 
2009-08-20 09:03:39 AM
What, no Incredibles?
 
2009-08-20 09:05:16 AM
...it took me this long to realize that "conservative" or anything like it appears nowhere but one or two of the film descriptions. This is a conservative's...top fifteen movies.
 
2009-08-20 09:12:38 AM
AuntNotAnt: ...it took me this long to realize that "conservative" or anything like it appears nowhere but one or two of the film descriptions. This is a conservative's...top fifteen movies.

Well, it IS breitbart.com...so we can safely assume the article is crap.
 
2009-08-20 09:21:21 AM
sarah silverman: "that movie 300? turns out how they got that title was they measured how gay it was on a scale of one to ten"
 
2009-08-20 09:29:58 AM
Is the author really that wrong about Dark Knight? The cell phone - sonar set up seems to be a pretty solid reference to warrantless wiretapping.
 
2009-08-20 09:39:34 AM
I Said: Is the author really that wrong about Dark Knight? The cell phone - sonar set up seems to be a pretty solid reference to warrantless wiretapping.

Yeah, but look how it was handled. Pretty much entirely opposite of Bush.

So yeah, they are pretty much wrong.

Also, I know I didn't watch Dark Knight looking for political meaning. Mostly because it was too awesome for me to bother.
 
2009-08-20 09:40:52 AM
...These people think Stephen Colbert is on their side, don't they?
 
2009-08-20 10:05:25 AM
Isn't Mulholland Drive just one huge masturbation fever dream?
 
2009-08-20 10:10:41 AM
AuntNotAnt: ...it took me this long to realize that "conservative" or anything like it appears nowhere but one or two of the film descriptions. This is a conservative's...top fifteen movies.

That. There's nothing about this being a list of conservative movies.
 
2009-08-20 10:12:56 AM
No YOU'RE a Towel:

I know I didn't watch Dark Knight looking for political meaning.

Conservatives are on a constant prowl to find things to validate what is essentially an empty and ignorant ideology. Their belief system is based on fears upon fears and one cannot make rational decisions in a state of terror. I'd pity them if their actions weren't so reliably deadly.
 
2009-08-20 10:14:12 AM
FlashHarry: sarah silverman: "that movie 300? turns out how they got that title was they measured how gay it was on a scale of one to ten"

Ha!!! That's awesome.
 
2009-08-20 10:34:35 AM
Talk about seeing what you want to see in a film.
Yes, it's another idiotic article from Breitbart.
 
2009-08-20 10:38:22 AM
What's "conservative" about these movies?

I must be missing something.
 
2009-08-20 10:41:18 AM
As a Republican, I don't choose my films to fit an ideology.

Perhaps this critic is missing the point that he no doubt would make about movies being "politically correct."

If you feel the need to call yourself a Conservative before your party affiliation, then maybe you shouldn't be in the party. You serve ideology over nation, and that is killing the party, and it's dividing the nation. Try putting the "republic" back into Republican, and then come and talk to me you partisan blind idiotic zealot...
 
2009-08-20 10:43:51 AM
make me some tea: What's "conservative" about these movies?

I must be missing something.


The article never purported to be the Top 15 "conservative" movies, just the top 15 movies of the past decade.

Subby's reading comprehension fails, but this is Fark so that's unsurprising.

That said, I'm probably biased because I totally got a shout out in that article.
 
2009-08-20 10:44:11 AM
not sure if serious
 
2009-08-20 10:44:38 AM
This list is MADNESS!

This list is SPECTACULAR!!!!!!

300?

Pirates of the Caribbean? Pirates?
 
2009-08-20 10:55:35 AM
hubiestubert: If you feel the need to call yourself a Conservative before your party affiliation

He seems to espouse nothing about philosophical conservatism. The problem with Republicans isn't their conservatism, it's their ignorant asshattery, mortgaged souls, and win-at-any-cost shenanigans.
 
2009-08-20 11:08:22 AM
No YOU'RE a Towel: Pro western themes? I can only assume they mean anti-Persian themes.

300 was incredibly pro-Persian.

First, the Spartans came off as cold, ignorant assholes. Which isn't too far from the truth. These guys were born and raised to kill. Were they potters? Were they stonecutters? Were they farmers? NO, THEY WERE SOLDIERS!

The Spartans were run by corrupt pedophiles. Their leaders included rapists.

The Spartans killed the messenger. That's not just shiatty, that's brutal. The man comes offering not only peace, but prosperity, power, and inclusion. The answer was a brutal death.

Speaking of the Persians, they took in the deformed and outcast Spartan child without recoiling in horror at his condition. Xerxes showed him compassion. The Persians were a HIGHLY inclusive group, with women generals seen, with hundreds of ethnicities, and liberal attitudes towards sex and intoxicants.

Xerxes was incredibly hospitable and tried to avert hostilities at every turn. He wasn't the one who built a wall out of corpses.

And let's not forget that Herodotus told us, and got a lot of crap from Greeks for not being pro-Greek for saying, that the second Persian invasion was due to constant border disputes and fomented uprisings. Most of the Greek cities submitted eagerly and willingly, without military force. It was a few that were causing trouble for EVERYONE, including Sparta. The beligerence and breaking the peace was the Spartan's fault.

The Spartans were no heroes.

Miller is known for his irony. His irony is informed, especially in 300, by Homer, who was noted for elevating not the gods and the ancient Greek father-heroes like poets of his time, but for elevating mortals and their enemies. Not seeing his fatalism and irony in constructing 300 might lead you to think he's celebrating the Spartans and the conservative "superman" ideal. He's really glorifying the horror and dark humor of the entire situation.
 
2009-08-20 11:10:44 AM
I turned off The Passion of the Christ right after the scene where Jesus invented the dining room table. That was retarded.
 
2009-08-20 11:14:58 AM
palladiate: The Spartans killed the messenger. That's not just shiatty, that's brutal. The man comes offering not only peace, but prosperity, power, and inclusion. The answer was a brutal death.

He came offering those things if they'd swear allegiance to a god-king. Not so good of a deal if you ask me.
 
2009-08-20 11:15:16 AM
hubiestubert: As a Republican

People still admit to that?
 
2009-08-20 11:16:58 AM
 
2009-08-20 11:17:55 AM
palladiate:

That's a pretty awesome interpretation.
 
2009-08-20 11:25:17 AM
palladiate: Xerxes showed him compassion.

Xerxes showed him compassion because he could use him to crush his enemies.
 
2009-08-20 11:46:01 AM
The Icelander: He came offering those things if they'd swear allegiance to a god-king. Not so good of a deal if you ask me.

EVERYONE in Sparta had to submit to Leonidas I. EVERYONE. The only thing that had to happen was for Leonidas to submit to Xerxes, and they'd have been left pretty much alone like the rest of the Persian empire. And most historians, even early Greek historians, have been pretty impressed by their level of organization, structure, scientific advancement, attitudes toward freedom, amazing commerce and trade, and powerful army.

Leonidas had a chance to gain massive riches and fame by leveraging Spartan military discipline and strategy in the empire. Xerxes offered them peace three times, and held off at Thermopylae for two days trying to talk Leonidas out of defending the pass. Leonidas chose being Greek over being Persian. His choice to make as king, and a really, really ballsy move against an army that Herodotus called 2.5 million and history has put at over 1/2 a million (for logistics reasons alone). He faced the largest military the world could possibly field in his day, there is no question.

Xerxes was not a blood-thirsty man. He razed the three towns that fought him. Less than 1/3 of the city-states opposed Persian control, even before Xerxes had assembled his enormous army.

Not saying Leonidas was wrong. Just saying there's more than one way to look at it. But saying the Spartans were "free" is laughable. Sparta was no Athens.

And for the fact that this review missed the hugely important factor that Miller's storytelling is heavily French New Wave in it's construction (Sin City, with it's oddly-recurring dead-but-locked-in-ambiguous-time characters is textbook Nouvelle Vague), and that Miller was not ignorant of history and still decided to add drastic stylistic changes tells me he knows nothing of art. Miller purposefully told the story with Greek Irony, with a definitely modern twist.

He even has the audience by the balls. You're supposed to cheer for the bloody Spartans. You're supposed to think their defiance was for freedom, not for following a dictator. You're supposed to celebrate their destruction like it was a victory (the movie somewhat dampened the effect with the narration). And you're supposed to be a vile and bad person for having doing so.

Miller exhausts many people with this kind of rampant irony. It's all over his works like some kind of Auteur Bukakke. Yes Miller, we know, we know. But, somehow, this dickbag didn't get that. Completely oblivious to any message Miller was oh-so-cleverly trying to send across, Mr Nolte here just thought it was about these freedom-loving, democracy-having, chest-heaving, nipple-glistening, ass-patting wonderboys going over there to that desert and killing some Iraqis. Or Iranians. Or whatever, those liberal brown people. In effect, he became the target of Miller's irony like a second man in a double-penetration video taking an unexpected load on the face.
 
2009-08-20 12:07:37 PM
palladiate: First, the Spartans came off as cold, ignorant assholes. Which isn't too far from the truth. These guys were born and raised to kill. Were they potters? Were they stonecutters? Were they farmers? NO, THEY WERE SOLDIERS!

The Spartans were run by corrupt pedophiles. Their leaders included rapists.

The Spartans killed the messenger. That's not just shiatty, that's brutal. The man comes offering not only peace, but prosperity, power, and inclusion. The answer was a brutal death.


Don't forget the death panels that determined if a child was worthy of growing up.
 
2009-08-20 12:32:34 PM
pizen: Don't forget the death panels that determined if a child was worthy of growing up.

You make an salaciously salient point.
 
2009-08-20 12:49:52 PM
i didn't know chris elliott was a film reviewer now
 
2009-08-20 12:50:17 PM
palladiate: Leonidas chose being Greek over being Persian.

I thought you were born liking greek sex or not. Its not a choice.
 
2009-08-20 12:53:51 PM
I_C_Weener: I thought you were born liking greek sex or not. Its not a choice.

I don't know about that. If you asked me a few years ago, I wouldn't have thought I would like taking you from behind nearly as much as I do today.

You did a lot to convince me. I'm going with choice.
 
2009-08-20 01:22:30 PM
palladiate: Not saying Leonidas was wrong. Just saying there's more than one way to look at it. But saying the Spartans were "free" is laughable. Sparta was no Athens.

Sparta was in the running for 'biggest bunch of assholes on the planet' at that time, really.

palladiate: Completely oblivious to any message Miller was oh-so-cleverly trying to send across, Mr Nolte here just thought it was about these freedom-loving, democracy-having, chest-heaving, nipple-glistening, ass-patting wonderboys going over there to that desert and killing some Iraqis. Or Iranians. Or whatever, those liberal brown people. In effect, he became the target of Miller's irony like a second man in a double-penetration video taking an unexpected load on the face.

It's similar to Starship Troopers. It's funny watching people try to describe it as just an action flick.
 
2009-08-20 01:30:56 PM
palladiate: Not saying Leonidas was wrong. Just saying there's more than one way to look at it. But saying the Spartans were "free" is laughable. Sparta was no Athens.

I'm not saying Spartans were free. I'm saying Sparta was free. And even the Athenians weren't that liberated. They owned slaves and women couldn't vote.

Leonidas didn't want to be under the thumb of a god-king. Seems reasonable to me. Especially if he was king of his own particularly bloody hill.
 
2009-08-20 01:32:31 PM
Obdicut: It's similar to Starship Troopers. It's funny watching people try to describe it as just an action flick.

I agree that it's an allegory. But it does make me want to kill some bugs.

\Also, there are boobies
\\Wonderful, wonderful boobies
 
2009-08-20 01:39:50 PM
The Icelander: Leonidas didn't want to be under the thumb of a god-king. Seems reasonable to me. Especially if he was king of his own particularly bloody hill.

I'm not disagreeing with you. I'm disagreeing with our critic, who thinks the Spartans were rebuking the evil god-king and standing up for truth, justice, and the American way. It's the story of one petty tyrant with big balls standing up to and pissing in the eye of a petty tyrant with a big damn army.

There's nothing particularly conservative about it. Unless, of course, the "conservative...themes of "300″ that are "disguised" are of the manly, oily, well-endowed, and naked variety.
 
2009-08-20 01:41:36 PM
palladiate: Unless, of course, the "conservative...themes of "300″ that are "disguised" are of the manly, oily, well-endowed, and naked variety.

IIRC, Leonidas did have a pretty wide stance.
 
2009-08-20 01:51:30 PM
palladiate: I'm not disagreeing with you. I'm disagreeing with our critic, who thinks the Spartans were rebuking the evil god-king and standing up for truth, justice, and the American way. It's the story of one petty tyrant with big balls standing up to and pissing in the eye of a petty tyrant with a big damn army.

Okay, as long as I can still appreciate it primarily for the boobies and the fight scenes.
 
2009-08-20 02:04:35 PM
If they're trying to make me feel sorry for them, it won't work.
 
2009-08-20 02:08:34 PM
Concerning The Dark Knight:

1. Torture was ineffective and the "wiretap" program was dismantled. Not to mention the anti-death penalty theme.

2. That being said, if you get your politics from a film about a man dressing up as a bat to fight criminals with karate, you fail as a human being.
 
2009-08-20 02:10:36 PM
2. The Passion of the Christ (2004) - Easily, the purest and rawest emotional cinematic experience I've ever had. The Left's bigoted, venomous attacks combined with the film's eventual blockbuster success were almost as satisfying as the re-election of George W. Bush.

Uh... sorry, but weren't those attacks justified? People called Mel Gibson an anti-Semite, the right denied it, then Gibson went on a tirade about the evil of the Jews.
 
kth
2009-08-20 02:15:15 PM
No YOU'RE a Towel:
Also, I know I didn't watch Dark Knight looking for political meaning. Mostly because it was too awesome for me to bother.


THIS. Now I must watch TDK while working this afternoon.
 
2009-08-20 02:16:51 PM
i457.photobucket.com

Awesome
 
2009-08-20 02:17:27 PM
What the fark is up with Batman's voice in that movie?
 
2009-08-20 02:17:58 PM
Except that he only used it to subdue a specific person, rather than storing data from large swathes of people to find random bad guys. And he destroyed it afterward.

But, whatever.
 
2009-08-20 02:20:17 PM
I've always interpreted Superman and Batman along Liberal and Conservative lines.

Superman is a liberal ideal, and Batman the conservative. Hear me out:

Batman is a one-man secretive vigilante, who is privately funded, fights with the "underbelly criminal element" of society, causes much hooplah over "is he a good guy or is he a bad guy" works with an uncorruptable police lieutenant/commissioner in a city of corrupt officials, and tries to make "Gotham a safer place." He lives incognito as a rich playboy that makes a hobby of buying things.

Superman is a one man public superhero, who fights for what's right, fights hostile strange aliens and corporate supervillains intent on increasing their control of the city/world, fights with pure and incorruptible government agencies against those interests that would harm the common man. He lives incognito as "the common man" reporter so that he can be on a more vigilant alert of threats.

Batman runs afowl (no pun intended) of the police when his methods are too violent.

Superman runs afowl of public opinion when he loses his temper.

Not a perfect fit I admit, but the basics seem to make each character lean one way or another.
 
2009-08-20 02:20:35 PM
I've seen every one of those movies except for Up, not yet out on DVD. I've even seen all the runners-up. Nice list, and the guy obviously has good taste -- he chose movies I have seen and, with the exception of Mulholland Drive, liked.

I would characterize this as a "Conservative" list only because, with the exception of three British movies (including the runners-up), all are true-blue American. Either this critic hates subtitles, or he simply doesn't count foreign-made films as worthy of any consideration. So he has never seen the likes of

The Edge of Heaven
Spirited Away
Twilight Samurai
The Last Sword is Drawn
The Hidden Blade
Downfall
The Band's Visit
Waltz With Bashir
Persepolis
1612
The Cuckoo

and many, many others.
 
2009-08-20 02:21:57 PM
WFern: Concerning The Dark Knight:

1. Torture was ineffective and the "wiretap" program was dismantled. Not to mention the anti-death penalty theme.

2. That being said, if you get your politics from a film about a man dressing up as a bat to fight criminals with karate, you fail as a human being.


The whole reason behind batman having to create the phone sonar was because HE created a monster. the batman was responsible for this mess. The dialogue with Alfred confirms this, batman pushed them to their limits. The war on terror has never been about acknowledging the failures of US foreign policy and trying to rectify them...
 
2009-08-20 02:22:55 PM
imashark: Superman is a one man public superhero, who fights for what's right, fights hostile strange aliens and corporate supervillains intent on increasing their control of the city/world, fights with pure and incorruptible government agencies against those interests that would harm the common man. He lives incognito as "the common man" reporter so that he can be on a more vigilant alert of threats.

Also, everyone knows the media is liberal.
 
2009-08-20 02:23:12 PM
oldebayer: Either this critic hates subtitles, or he simply doesn't count foreign-made films as worthy of any consideration. So he has never seen the likes of

Not considering anything made by furriners is also part of the American Way (tm).
 
2009-08-20 02:23:20 PM
The Icelander: Okay, as long as I can still appreciate it primarily for the boobies and the fight scenes.

I'd go so far as to say that unless you appreciate the work primarily for the gore, the naked, and the sexy, you don't appreciate it at all.

It's a fun as hell movie. Everything else is wank-filled icing. I'll defend 300 against any haters or critics, even if talking about it whips me into some kind of homoerotic froth.
 
2009-08-20 02:23:33 PM
Right wing wank aside, I thought this was a funny comment:

Normally my opinion of quirky is that it's nothing more than irony gone retarded
 
2009-08-20 02:24:29 PM
Barbigazi: Isn't Mulholland Drive just one huge masturbation fever dream?

No.
 
2009-08-20 02:24:39 PM
Is this the Joker=Socialism argument? Because that really confuses the hell out of me.
 
2009-08-20 02:25:45 PM
So is this the new Republican policy?

They're just going to claim that everything that anyone likes is due to Republicans?



Do they even have ANY respect at all for honesty in any way? Or is the truth just a mere inconvenience in the face of how much they believe in forcing their will on everyone else?
 
2009-08-20 02:26:23 PM
Delusional.
 
2009-08-20 02:27:07 PM
The list is one guys opinion who happens to be conservative. I would hope that they wouldn't let Tim Robbins make a list of the greatest liberal movies of all time that spoke for all liberals. There are a lot of liberals who don't like Tim Robbins, like me. As far as the list goes, if you take away the writers own beliefs about what each film meant, it isn't completely awful, Other than the inclusion of "The Passion" and "Pirates of the Caribbean".
 
2009-08-20 02:27:24 PM
Do we have to politicize everything?

I mean, really? EVERYTHING?

/guess so
//all of these lists are stupid
///subjective, "validate my views!", blah blah blah
 
2009-08-20 02:28:28 PM
oldebayer:
Spirited Away


Can someone please explain the appeal of that flick? I'm all for art house flicks or anime or whatever it was SUPPOSED to me, but I found it overall just insanely boring.
 
2009-08-20 02:28:31 PM
God. Fark has had this exact same thread at least twice. Is there anyway everyone can just remember what they said and read the last time and ignore this story?
 
2009-08-20 02:28:47 PM
Dark Knight was an absolute indictment of Bush. Batman jams the door and savagely beats the Joker, only to have the Joker tell him he was going to tell him where Dent and Rachel were anyway -- torture was never going to work -- and says "that's the point."

Constantly craving for validation of their immoral ways, these "conservatives" are.
 
2009-08-20 02:29:33 PM
This guy wasn't serious was he?
 
2009-08-20 02:29:42 PM
Look, this guy can like or dislike whatever movies he pleases, and for whatever reasons. I just think it's telling that he values movies not so much for their "Conservative Values" but for how much they piss off the Libs (yeah, I remember how us Libs hated the Dark Knight).

Republicans, you didn't ask for my advice, but you're in a tough spot so I'll offer it anyway. Start putting "what's best for the country?" ahead of "how can I annoy the Libs?" and you'll begin to enjoy greater success. I promise.
 
2009-08-20 02:30:23 PM
Heath Ledger is Bush. Batman is Cheney. Gary Oldman is Rumsfield.

Deal with it.
 
2009-08-20 02:30:31 PM
The Icelander: palladiate: The Spartans killed the messenger. That's not just shiatty, that's brutal. The man comes offering not only peace, but prosperity, power, and inclusion. The answer was a brutal death.

He came offering those things if they'd swear allegiance to a god-king. Not so good of a deal if you ask me.


It was considered a very grave crime in ancient times to kill messengers. Hell, even Genghis Khan guaranteed the safety of messengers to his court and one of the reasons he destroyed Khwarezmians was their treatment of his messengers. He didn't even give them the chance to surrender that he usually gave.
 
2009-08-20 02:31:48 PM
imashark: Batman runs afowl (no pun intended) of the police when his methods are too violent.

Superman runs afowl of public opinion when he loses his temper.


No pun intended, none achieved.

The word is afoul. Unless they're fighting chickens.
 
2009-08-20 02:33:07 PM
imashark: Superman is a liberal ideal, and Batman the conservative. Hear me out:

I'd argue the other way.

Batman, although he blurs the lines between justice and vengeance, knows the overwhelming powers of certain rights. He is ruled by conscience, not rules. A conservative would hand this power over to the government and rule of law. He uses his money not for the pursuit of profit, but for the "making the world a better place." Batman tries to change the world by himself. He's a snobby, educated, city elite.

Superman is the ultimate conservative. To him, more important than emotion, logic, humanity, or all else is justice and law. He's gone to war on request of the government, he's a good, clean, middle American boy. He's got a middle America kind of job. He comes from a farm in the heartland. He's a Real American, but still naturalized citizen, just like Gov. Schwarzenegger.

I'm very much of the opinion that Superman is the conservative dream.
 
2009-08-20 02:33:11 PM
palladiate: He even has the audience by the balls. You're supposed to cheer for the bloody Spartans.

there is also no mention of the the 700 Thespians who died alongside the Spartans, but I guess everyone thought they were acting.
 
2009-08-20 02:33:28 PM
I liked this article better when it was from *shortle* the NRO and that article's author named "The Lives of Others" as the best film expousing conservative values of the past 25 years... with no hint of irony.

Linky to the Fark thread (pops)
 
2009-08-20 02:34:26 PM
sevon: Spirited Away - Can someone please explain the appeal of that flick? I'm all for art house flicks or anime or whatever it was SUPPOSED to me, but I found it overall just insanely boring.

I love Spirited Away. The appeal for me is visual beauty combined with a gentle story, interesting characters and subtle humor. I don't think it's boring so much as not the non-stop assault on the senses that American-made kids' movies can be.
 
2009-08-20 02:35:35 PM
imashark: I've always interpreted Superman and Batman along Liberal and Conservative lines.

Superman is a liberal ideal, and Batman the conservative. Hear me out:

Batman is a one-man secretive vigilante, who is privately funded, fights with the "underbelly criminal element" of society, causes much hooplah over "is he a good guy or is he a bad guy" works with an uncorruptable police lieutenant/commissioner in a city of corrupt officials, and tries to make "Gotham a safer place." He lives incognito as a rich playboy that makes a hobby of buying things.

Superman is a one man public superhero, who fights for what's right, fights hostile strange aliens and corporate supervillains intent on increasing their control of the city/world, fights with pure and incorruptible government agencies against those interests that would harm the common man. He lives incognito as "the common man" reporter so that he can be on a more vigilant alert of threats.

Batman runs afowl (no pun intended) of the police when his methods are too violent.

Superman runs afowl of public opinion when he loses his temper.

Not a perfect fit I admit, but the basics seem to make each character lean one way or another.


I don't disagree. Superman is very much an idealistic hero, and Batman is a modern incarnation of an Old West lawman or bounty hunter, seemingly balanced on the edge of criminal and not while using any means but murder to end the threat.

The odd thing is that Superman is the reactionary while Batman is very proactive.
 
2009-08-20 02:35:59 PM
Kanemano: no mention of the 700 Thespians

Probably because most actors are liberals, and this was a conservative list.
 
2009-08-20 02:36:14 PM
Hebalo: imashark: Batman runs afowl (no pun intended) of the police when his methods are too violent.

Superman runs afowl of public opinion when he loses his temper.

No pun intended, none achieved.

The word is afoul. Unless they're fighting chickens.


CHICKENS, you said?! WAHH-WAHHH-WAHHH-WAHHHHHH!
www.starman-imaging.com
 
2009-08-20 02:37:10 PM
2. The Passion of the Christ (2004) - Easily, the purest and rawest emotional cinematic experience I've ever had.

This man is sick.
 
2009-08-20 02:38:01 PM
sevon: oldebayer:
Spirited Away


Can someone please explain the appeal of that flick? I'm all for art house flicks or anime or whatever it was SUPPOSED to me, but I found it overall just insanely boring.


I don't know the appeal either. It was very droll and boring despite looking good, kind of like the top movie on this guys list(Assassination of Jesse James)
 
2009-08-20 02:38:08 PM
The Why Not Guy: sevon: Spirited Away - Can someone please explain the appeal of that flick? I'm all for art house flicks or anime or whatever it was SUPPOSED to me, but I found it overall just insanely boring.

I love Spirited Away. The appeal for me is visual beauty combined with a gentle story, interesting characters and subtle humor. I don't think it's boring so much as not the non-stop assault on the senses that American-made kids' movies can be.


I enjoyed it, but the main girl's voice was like nails on a chalkboard. One thing I'll never get used to in anime is that stereotypical 'screaming little girl' voice that everyone seems to use. I can't stand the sound of it.

/almost ruined the movie for me
//almost
 
2009-08-20 02:39:54 PM
The top 10 ways Bush and Batman are totally alike Link (new window)
 
2009-08-20 02:40:18 PM
I Said: Is the author really that wrong about Dark Knight? The cell phone - sonar set up seems to be a pretty solid reference to warrantless wiretapping.


The moral center of the film, Morgan Freeman's character, said, "fark this" and yes they used it once on one target who they knew was the bad guy but then blew it all up when it was finished.

That is the polar opposite of a love letter to GW Bush.
 
2009-08-20 02:41:52 PM
Sir Vanderhoot: I enjoyed it, but the main girl's voice was like nails on a chalkboard.

I agree, and I thought the whole "spirit of the polluted river" part was a bit heavy handed, but for me those were minor quibbles. Also, I'll take shrieky voice over the standard "precocious wise cracking kid" any day.
 
2009-08-20 02:42:29 PM
T.rex: Deal with it.

Deal with your opinion?
 
2009-08-20 02:44:22 PM
Funny putting 300 as conservative, seeing how Sparta was anything but a righteous democratic republic of conservatives. Although I could have guessed he has no knowledge of Persia in that period, and what led to the wars.

And what the frak is he talking about in TDK?

Guys a whole bunch of crazy and is seeing things not there.
 
2009-08-20 02:44:37 PM
bhcompy: imashark: I've always interpreted Superman and Batman along Liberal and Conservative lines.

Superman is a liberal ideal, and Batman the conservative. Hear me out:

Batman is a one-man secretive vigilante, who is privately funded, fights with the "underbelly criminal element" of society, causes much hooplah over "is he a good guy or is he a bad guy" works with an uncorruptable police lieutenant/commissioner in a city of corrupt officials, and tries to make "Gotham a safer place." He lives incognito as a rich playboy that makes a hobby of buying things.

Superman is a one man public superhero, who fights for what's right, fights hostile strange aliens and corporate supervillains intent on increasing their control of the city/world, fights with pure and incorruptible government agencies against those interests that would harm the common man. He lives incognito as "the common man" reporter so that he can be on a more vigilant alert of threats.

Batman runs afowl (no pun intended) of the police when his methods are too violent.

Superman runs afowl of public opinion when he loses his temper.

Not a perfect fit I admit, but the basics seem to make each character lean one way or another.

I don't disagree. Superman is very much an idealistic hero, and Batman is a modern incarnation of an Old West lawman or bounty hunter, seemingly balanced on the edge of criminal and not while using any means but murder to end the threat.

The odd thing is that Superman is the reactionary while Batman is very proactive.


It doesn't matter who is right or left idealogically- the only thing that matters is WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT? the answer is obviously superman.
 
2009-08-20 02:44:43 PM
The only thing douchier than a hardcore Republican is a hardcore Republican who views the entire scope of human existence through his narrow paradigm of the political landscape in the United States.
 
2009-08-20 02:46:15 PM
Whenever someone seeks political meaning from a piece of entertainment, I always think of Crash Davis telling Nuke LaLoosh how fastballs are fascist and curve balls are democratic.
 
2009-08-20 02:47:03 PM
Don't they revoke your criticism rights if you call Zack Snyder a genius?

If not, they should.
 
2009-08-20 02:48:26 PM
He's no David T. Lindsey.
 
2009-08-20 02:48:58 PM
HawgWild: Do we have to politicize everything?

I mean, really? EVERYTHING?

/guess so
//all of these lists are stupid
///subjective, "validate my views!", blah blah blah


You don't seem to realize that 9/11 changed EVERYTHING.

/*snort*
 
2009-08-20 02:49:02 PM
sevon: oldebayer:
Spirited Away


Can someone please explain the appeal of that flick? I'm all for art house flicks or anime or whatever it was SUPPOSED to me, but I found it overall just insanely boring.


First, it's Miyazaki. He leaves certain marks on his movies. They are empowered female characters, the role of children, the process of growing up, Shintoism, and the ability to change the world through oneself and their relationship to the natural world.

Chihiro is a bratty little girl. She does not relate to the world, nor does she want to.

Her odyssey is seeing the world from the other side, not from the real but from the spirit. The spirits are manifestations of the relationship between man and the thing the spirit is attached to. This is a very Shinto idea. Remember this, as it's key to understanding the movie.

Chihiro's parents fail her. They aren't there for her experience of growing up. They aren't to blame, and it is Chihiro's responsibility to grow up.

She learns that we must trust each other, (her friends), we must trust nature (Haku), and we must even trust our enemies (Yubaba). She learns to value and appreciate her relationship to the world, she learns to value herself, and she learns the value of working- providing value to others and the world as it provides to her.

She learns the nature of kindness. She learns how to forge friendships from dismal and difficult circumstances. She becomes courageous, independent, trusting, confident. She does all this Disney-crap without the condescending baggage you would normally find in a coming-of-age story.

She learns her relationship to the world not by interacting with the world, but by interacting directly with her relationships themselves.

Most importantly, she does not forget herself. She never loses her name. She retains her own spirit.

Chihiro never loses herself to Sen. She realizes they are one in the same, both equally important. Sen is her relationship to herself, her own spirit. When she fully grasps this, and completes her journey of reconciliation, and makes everything right, she grows up, and yay, happy ending.

It's got incredible pacing, amazing art, and is very, very believable for a fairy tale. It borrows themes from Western fairy tales while remaining utterly Japanese. It's everything every other Miyazaki movie wants to be.

The story, as summed up by my five-year-old is "She remembered who she is!"
 
2009-08-20 02:49:07 PM
palladiate: I'm very much of the opinion that Superman is the conservative dream.

If this were true he'd be a plumber, not a reporter.
 
2009-08-20 02:49:46 PM
They left 'Taken' off of the list?

/spoilers, for what it's worth

Righteous military man wronged by his wife (who left him to marry an effette liberal and spoil his daughter with riches) cautions daughter against the danger posed by foreigners.

As expected, within minutes of setting foot on foreign soil, daughter is kidnapped and sold to arabs - only avoiding immediate forced prostitution and death due to her chastity, unlike her slutty and deceptive friend who started the whole thing by talking to a boy.

Dad is then forced to stage a one man invasion, overcoming corrupt foreign officials by shooting their family members. Finally coming face to face with the fat arab sheikh, our hero prevails through force of will, and smites the evildoers.

/don't get me wrong, decent action movie, but came across as a serious Repub. wet dream.
 
2009-08-20 02:50:46 PM
Tron Lafontaine: 2. The Passion of the Christ (2004) - Easily, the purest and rawest emotional cinematic experience I've ever had.

This man is sick.


FTA:
Not that I mind. Visually, "300″ was not only richly rewarding, but proof that in the hands of a genius director CGI can enhance the story as opposed to distract.

I bet he watches pro bodybuilding and hates "Queer Eye" too...

/hyperbolic, delusional, and self-loathing? We got a Republitard!
//I did not say conservative because I still believe
 
2009-08-20 02:51:59 PM
palladiate: Miller exhausts many people with this kind of rampant irony. It's all over his works like some kind of Auteur Bukakke. Yes Miller, we know, we know. But, somehow, this dickbag didn't get that. Completely oblivious to any message Miller was oh-so-cleverly trying to send across, Mr Nolte here just thought it was about these freedom-loving, democracy-having, chest-heaving, nipple-glistening, ass-patting wonderboys going over there to that desert and killing some Iraqis. Or Iranians. Or whatever, those liberal brown people. In effect, he became the target of Miller's irony like a second man in a double-penetration video taking an unexpected load on the face.

Welcome to my favorites, I could probably read anything you have to say about anything.
 
2009-08-20 02:53:24 PM
The Icelander: palladiate: I'm very much of the opinion that Superman is the conservative dream.

If this were true he'd be a plumber, not a reporter.


Keep in mind, he was created when THIS GUY:
upload.wikimedia.org
was playing Lex Luthor in real life.
 
2009-08-20 02:53:37 PM
Pants full of macaroni!!: HawgWild: Do we have to politicize everything?

I mean, really? EVERYTHING?

/guess so
//all of these lists are stupid
///subjective, "validate my views!", blah blah blah

You don't seem to realize that 9/11 changed EVERYTHING.

/*snort*


OMG, I ... I actually FORGOT!

images.paraorkut.com
 
2009-08-20 02:54:15 PM
The list is projection.

Probably not an accurate representation of the world, as much as its an accurate representation of how this guy thinks.

Unless, of course, the writer of batman comes out an states that batman means were purposely made as an analogy to George Bush's.
 
2009-08-20 02:54:33 PM
palladiate: Not saying Leonidas was wrong. Just saying there's more than one way to look at it. But saying the Spartans were "free" is laughable. Sparta was no Athens.

The Spartans also enslaved the Helots. Without the Helots the Spartans would have had to spend more time growing their own food and less time training to be soldiers.

I can see how Conservatives would embrace that kind of relationship.
 
2009-08-20 02:54:56 PM
The Why Not Guy: Sir Vanderhoot: I enjoyed it, but the main girl's voice was like nails on a chalkboard.

I agree, and I thought the whole "spirit of the polluted river" part was a bit heavy handed, but for me those were minor quibbles. Also, I'll take shrieky voice over the standard "precocious wise cracking kid" any day.


Actually, unlike other Miyazaki movies which are more than a bit heavy-handed on the environmentalism thing *cough*princessmononoke*cough* the spirit of the river lived on in Chihiro. It was important to HER, and it gave her strength, even though the river was long gone.

The river was still important to us, even in the face of our destruction. The role of the river's usefulness to humanity outsized the raw importance of the physical river. But Miyazaki has matured in this, as even in Mononoke the planet-rapers were some very nice and sympathetic folks.
 
2009-08-20 02:55:40 PM
palladiate: imashark: Superman is a liberal ideal, and Batman the conservative. Hear me out:

I'd argue the other way.

Batman, although he blurs the lines between justice and vengeance, knows the overwhelming powers of certain rights. He is ruled by conscience, not rules. A conservative would hand this power over to the government and rule of law. He uses his money not for the pursuit of profit, but for the "making the world a better place." Batman tries to change the world by himself. He's a snobby, educated, city elite.

Superman is the ultimate conservative. To him, more important than emotion, logic, humanity, or all else is justice and law. He's gone to war on request of the government, he's a good, clean, middle American boy. He's got a middle America kind of job. He comes from a farm in the heartland. He's a Real American, but still naturalized citizen, just like Gov. Schwarzenegger.

I'm very much of the opinion that Superman is the conservative dream.


Superman is an illegal alien. If you go all the way back to the 1920's then a newspaper reporter is a blue collar American everyman sort of job but not today.
 
2009-08-20 02:56:21 PM
FlashHarry: sarah silverman: "that movie 300? turns out how they got that title was they measured how gay it was on a scale of one to ten"

I find her as funny as the next joe, but quoting sarah silverman isn't always the smartest thing to do.
 
2009-08-20 02:57:40 PM
The Icelander: If this were true he'd be a plumber, not a reporter.

I award you full points. I can't argue with that logic. Reporter is the LAST job a "real" conservative-everyman would have.

Blowmonkey: Welcome to my favorites, I could probably read anything you have to say about anything.

Thank you!

Brainsick: Keep in mind, he was created when THIS GUY:
upload.wikimedia.org
was playing Lex Luthor in real life.


And that's absolutely true.
 
2009-08-20 02:57:46 PM
palladiate: sevon: oldebayer:
Spirited Away


Can someone please explain the appeal of that flick? I'm all for art house flicks or anime or whatever it was SUPPOSED to me, but I found it overall just insanely boring.

First, it's Miyazaki. He leaves certain marks on his movies. They are empowered female characters, the role of children, the process of growing up, Shintoism, and the ability to change the world through oneself and their relationship to the natural world.

Chihiro is a bratty little girl. She does not relate to the world, nor does she want to.

Her odyssey is seeing the world from the other side, not from the real but from the spirit. The spirits are manifestations of the relationship between man and the thing the spirit is attached to. This is a very Shinto idea. Remember this, as it's key to understanding the movie.

Chihiro's parents fail her. They aren't there for her experience of growing up. They aren't to blame, and it is Chihiro's responsibility to grow up.

She learns that we must trust each other, (her friends), we must trust nature (Haku), and we must even trust our enemies (Yubaba). She learns to value and appreciate her relationship to the world, she learns to value herself, and she learns the value of working- providing value to others and the world as it provides to her.

She learns the nature of kindness. She learns how to forge friendships from dismal and difficult circumstances. She becomes courageous, independent, trusting, confident. She does all this Disney-crap without the condescending baggage you would normally find in a coming-of-age story.

She learns her relationship to the world not by interacting with the world, but by interacting directly with her relationships themselves.

Most importantly, she does not forget herself. She never loses her name. She retains her own spirit.

Chihiro never loses herself to Sen. She realizes they are one in the same, both equally important. Sen is her relationship to herself, her own spirit. When she fully grasps this, and completes her journey of reconciliation, and makes everything right, she grows up, and yay, happy ending.

It's got incredible pacing, amazing art, and is very, very believable for a fairy tale. It borrows themes from Western fairy tales while remaining utterly Japanese. It's everything every other Miyazaki movie wants to be.

The story, as summed up by my five-year-old is "She remembered who she is!"


The important thing to remember here is that
Mange/Anime is pretty much a genre for the retarded (new window)
 
2009-08-20 02:58:34 PM
paygun: What the fark is up with Batman's voice in that movie?

He sounded like Batman should. It's a guy dressed as an animal to inspire fear in criminals.
 
2009-08-20 02:58:41 PM
How can there be Conservative movies when Hollywood is full of America hating Libs?

/probably already been said in the thread
//too lazy to read through it
 
2009-08-20 03:00:24 PM
John Nolte is a screenwriter, director, and film writer. Before moving to Los Angeles in 2003 to pursue his interest in film, he spent seventeen years in Boone, North Carolina as a corporate bill collector. (until the invention of caller ID)
 
2009-08-20 03:00:39 PM
I'm pretty far to the left, and I thought that the Batman=Bush/Cheney thing was fairly blunt. Here's what I wrote at the time:

There are some people whose cruelty is not reasoned, who, as Alfred notes, "just want to see the world burn." These men can do a lot with simple gasoline and gun powder. In order to defeat such people, you need to break the rules; you can't be an unblemished hero. Among those dirty things you may need to do are: use illegal surveillance on the populace, reach outside of your borders to capture criminals, and torture suspects while in captivity. The public may come to hate you for what you do, but it's in the best interests of those same people.

Dubya is not the hero we need, but the hero we deserve.

Seriously. We elected him twice. s.
 
2009-08-20 03:01:45 PM
Hebalo: The important thing to remember here is that
Mange/Anime is pretty much a genre for the retarded (new window)


The movie won an Academy Award. It's not always a seal of quality, but it's generally a seal the movie is not retarded.

If we're talking Sailor Moon or Dragonball, yes, yes it's retarded. 95% of anime doesn't hold a candle to the amazing art and complexities of even a Chuck Jones Roadrunner and Coyote cartoon.
 
2009-08-20 03:01:47 PM
palladiate: I agree, and I thought the whole "spirit of the polluted river" part was a bit heavy handed, but for me those were minor quibbles. Also, I'll take shrieky voice over the standard "precocious wise cracking kid" any day.

Actually, unlike other Miyazaki movies which are more than a bit heavy-handed on the environmentalism thing *cough*princessmononoke*cough* the spirit of the river lived on in Chihiro. It was important to HER, and it gave her strength, even though the river was long gone.

The river was still important to us, even in the face of our destruction. The role of the river's usefulness to humanity outsized the raw importance of the physical river. But Miyazaki has matured in this, as even in Mononoke the planet-rapers were some very nice and sympathetic folks.


You're right, and I get what he was trying to convey, but it was also much less subtle than the rest of the movie. He trusted the audience - children and adults alike - to make these connections on their own but with the river spirit he tapped us over the head, just hard enough to jar me out of the moment for a bit.

One of the reasons I love Spirited Away is its utter lack of condescension. He doesn't talk down to children. He gets down on the floor and speaks to them as equals and in their language. I felt the river spirit was was the one place a hint of condescension showed through, or maybe clumsiness is a better word, especially when the rest of the film was so elegant.
 
2009-08-20 03:02:41 PM
jbailey22:

It doesn't matter who is right or left idealogically- the only thing that matters is WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT? the answer is obviously superman.


It's been done, Supes looses.

/"In all your time, in all your most private moments I want you to remember my hand at your throat...I want you to remember the one man who beat you"
 
2009-08-20 03:04:01 PM
I_C_Weener: This list is MADNESS!

This list is SPECTACULAR!!!!!!

300?

Pirates of the Caribbean? Pirates?


Mullholland drive?

How 'bout "The Incredibles"?
 
2009-08-20 03:04:15 PM
A better name for this list is "The First 15 Movies I Thought of While Writing This Blog"
 
2009-08-20 03:05:45 PM
Cheezwizz-ard: John Nolte is a screenwriter, director, and film writer. Before moving to Los Angeles in 2003 to pursue his interest in film, he spent seventeen years in Boone, North Carolina as a corporate bill collector.

I thought you were making this up. Holy crap the man lived over the mountain from my place!

On behalf of my state, and film lovers everywhere, I'm very sorry we didn't stop this lotion-abusing floor-spackler from bringing revenue-generating superpowers to breitbart.com.
 
2009-08-20 03:05:48 PM
palladiate: Thank you!

Hey! I just noticed that little gift from you, thank you very much!!!
 
2009-08-20 03:06:51 PM
palladiate: Hebalo: The important thing to remember here is that
Mange/Anime is pretty much a genre for the retarded (new window)

The movie won an Academy Award. It's not always a seal of quality, but it's generally a seal the movie is not retarded.


If we're talking Sailor Moon or Dragonball, yes, yes it's retarded. 95% of anime doesn't hold a candle to the amazing art and complexities of even a Chuck Jones Roadrunner and Coyote cartoon.


Considering the movies that have won or been heavily favored in recent years, I wouldn't consider that an endorsement of non-retardedness.
 
2009-08-20 03:08:18 PM
The Why Not Guy: I felt the river spirit was was the one place a hint of condescension showed through, or maybe clumsiness is a better word, especially when the rest of the film was so elegant.

I will absolutely agree there. It might not have shocked me that hard, as I walked in there expecting at least ONE lecture on environmentalism.

I can't say it's any more subtle in the original Japanese. At least he didn't straight up call us all evil pillagers for ruining his perfect Eden?
 
2009-08-20 03:09:44 PM
Cheezwizz-ard: John Nolte is a screenwriter, director, and film writer.

You (essentially) said screenwriter twice. He must like screenwriting.

/I'm sure he merely went uncredited for "An American Carol."
 
2009-08-20 03:12:49 PM
bhcompy: Considering the movies that have won or been heavily favored in recent years, I wouldn't consider that an endorsement of non-retardedness.

While there are Academy balls that deserve to be popped like grapes over utter fellating of The English Patient, the awarding of LA Confidential's Best Picture Award to Titanic, and their perennial sub of Ridley Scott, they aren't likely to award anything to Transformers or GI Joe, both superior to 50% or more of all anime.

And I almost certainly have a more generous attitude to anime than you do.
 
2009-08-20 03:12:53 PM
jbailey22: It doesn't matter who is right or left idealogically- the only thing that matters is WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT? the answer is obviously superman.

Wrong

i22.photobucket.com
 
2009-08-20 03:15:57 PM
Anyone else notice that, after all the liberal bashing and pro-conservatism this dude put in his article, his "notable mentions" at the bottom has 28 Weeks Later? That whole damn movie was bashing Bush and the war... He states "thinly veiled" for the conservative message in The Dark Knight, but turns a blind eye to the message in 28 Weeks Later?

Amazing. Absolutely amazing. I suppose when you're so far on one side of the aisle, it's just impossible to see anything from the other side.
 
2009-08-20 03:18:17 PM
ignorantalmond: I suppose when you're so far on one side of the aisle, it's just impossible to see anything from the other side.

To him the center is "way the fark over there"
 
2009-08-20 03:22:36 PM
ignorantalmond: Anyone else notice that, after all the liberal bashing and pro-conservatism this dude put in his article, his "notable mentions" at the bottom has 28 Weeks Later? That whole damn movie was bashing Bush and the war... He states "thinly veiled" for the conservative message in The Dark Knight, but turns a blind eye to the message in 28 Weeks Later?

The fact that 28 Weeks Later was so abysmally bad probably has something to do with it.

It's the only zombie movie my wife has ever seen where she looked at me and said "that sucked" as we walked out. She said it made her hate zombie movies.

I told her to take off her "In case of zombie attack" t-shirt in protest as we were walking out of the theater, but all that did was make her hate me for a while as well.

Honestly, though, my wife is the movie equivalent of tone-deaf. She loved Transformers 2. She watches Sci-fi original movies. She rewatched The Core. If she felt as if the moving was condescendingly bad, it's achingly bad.
 
2009-08-20 03:23:44 PM
palladiate: bhcompy: Considering the movies that have won or been heavily favored in recent years, I wouldn't consider that an endorsement of non-retardedness.

While there are Academy balls that deserve to be popped like grapes over utter fellating of The English Patient, the awarding of LA Confidential's Best Picture Award to Titanic, and their perennial sub of Ridley Scott, they aren't likely to award anything to Transformers or GI Joe, both superior to 50% or more of all anime.

And I almost certainly have a more generous attitude to anime than you do.


Sure, but you can't say the multitude of shiatty awards and nominations supports you non-retarded claim. Then again, The Dark Knight won the Japanese Academy Award for best foreign film. What does that say about the Japanese?

As far as anime, meh. I love VHD, but heavyhanded enviromental shiat like Miyazaki doesn't impress me. If you want to cry about the environment, at least make a Godzilla movie out of it.
 
2009-08-20 03:26:01 PM
The Icelander: palladiate: I'm very much of the opinion that Superman is the conservative dream.

If this were true he'd be a plumber, not a reporter.


From what I can tell, Clark Kent is a piss-poor reporter. He doesn't dig up any facts. He doesn't expose corrupt politicians. He doesn't bring to light any conspiracies... perhaps Superman IS the conservative dream. Or any politician's dream, for that matter.
 
2009-08-20 03:26:35 PM
HawgWild: Do we have to politicize everything?

I mean, really? EVERYTHING?


No

i67.photobucket.com
 
2009-08-20 03:26:37 PM
I will not comment on films I haven't seen.

2. The Passion of the Christ (2004) - Easily, the purest and rawest emotional cinematic experience I've ever had. The Left's bigoted, venomous attacks combined with the film's eventual blockbuster success were almost as satisfying as the re-election of George W. Bush.

The same for me. I had to keep from vomiting or wailing in despair at all the Christians enthusiastically cheering and clapping for the torture and murder of their savior. Um?

3. The Dark Knight (2008) - Watching liberal critics gush over a not-so-thinly disguised thank you to President Bush and then harumph and find fault after conservatives calmly explained what this epic of action, character and allegory is really about, was nearly as much fun as the movie.

What it was "really" about? You mean how vigilantism just makes things worse? Or how criminals will deal with escalating tactics by escalating their own? Or that fighting for what's right is never easy and requires sacrifice, not shopping? Or how possibly saving your own skin is not worth the murder of even the most hardened jailed criminals? Or how people who do the right thing will be villified and ostracized by those in power? Or how Constitution-violating surveillance might be permissible once to find a great evil and then it must be stopped and the machines used to enable it destroyed?

At what point does any of that support George W. Bush?

4. Up (2009) - As far as pure film-making and storytelling goes this exquisite, touching story of the adventure required to help a widower move on after losing the love of his life, is the most perfect picture on the list. In fact, it is perfect. Simply, beautifully perfectly perfect.

A stopped clock is right twice a day, I guess.

7. 300 (2006) - God bless director Zack Snyder for not gutting and nuancing Frank Miller's brilliant take on the Battle of Thermopylae. Hopefully, someday, Hollywood will become a tolerant place where the conservative, pro-Western themes of "300″ won't have to be disguised in this way. Not that I mind. Visually, "300″ was not only richly rewarding, but proof that in the hands of a genius director CGI can enhance the story as opposed to distract.

Wait what? "Pro-western"? You mean when the lone nation stands against the combined might of an imperialistic hegemony and dies almost to the last man using cunning tactics and the local terrain while not setting one foot outside their own territory, thus inspiring nation-states in the same geographic region to resist the invasion? You think that was pro-western?

Wow.

10. Pirates of the Caribbean (2003) - Unflustered as he steps from a sinking ship onto a pier, Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow also stepped into cinema lore and earned enough goodwill to carry two lacking sequels to box office glory. At least through 2003, we lovers of classic cinematic adventure could no longer say, "They don't make 'em like that anymore."

And the cluelessness continues as a conservative commentator praises the adventures of a dishonest untrustworthy bisexual criminal who wants to get away from all the laws of God and man and indulge in drugs for the rest of his life.

Yeah.

Incidentally, I feel like an unlettered barbarian not having seen some of those films (the more "art house" sort), but clearly seeing art films does not mean one can understsand even simple ones.
 
2009-08-20 03:28:27 PM
palladiate: She watches Sci-fi original movies.

A few weeks ago I rented some DVDs. I took a chance on a crappy looking supernatural type movie that had potential as a guilty pleasure. I almost cried when I popped it into my laptop and realized it was a Sci-Fi original movie. But about 5 minutes in I was hooked. The story was complex, and there was a refreshing lack of exposition and crazy rules usually found in those movies (if we don't _____ by _____, then ______ will happen) I was left to piece together what was happening for myself and it felt great. Turns out I had rented disc 2 of a 2 disc set, so I started watching at the halfway point without realizing it. The funny part is that I liked it better that way.
 
2009-08-20 03:29:28 PM
palladiate: bhcompy: Considering the movies that have won or been heavily favored in recent years, I wouldn't consider that an endorsement of non-retardedness.

While there are Academy balls that deserve to be popped like grapes over utter fellating of The English Patient, the awarding of LA Confidential's Best Picture Award to Titanic, and their perennial sub of Ridley Scott, they aren't likely to award anything to Transformers or GI Joe, both superior to 50% or more of all anime.

And I almost certainly have a more generous attitude to anime than you do.


Another exemple should be that in 2006, the Academy Award for Best Animated Feature went to "Happy Feet".
 
2009-08-20 03:32:35 PM
FTFA 4. UP (2004)- As far as pure film-making and storytelling goes this exquisite, touching story of the adventure required to help a widower move on after losing the love of his life, is the most perfect picture on the list. In fact, it is perfect. Simply, beautifully perfectly perfect.

1) The adventure "required" to help at widower...

WTF?

2) It was a great movie, to be sure, but "perfectly perfect" might be pushing things.
 
2009-08-20 03:36:37 PM
Wait... didn't Batman catch the Joker at the end of Dark Knight?

How is that like Bush?
 
2009-08-20 03:37:09 PM
Hebalo: FTFA 4. UP (2004)- As far as pure film-making and storytelling goes this exquisite, touching story of the adventure required to help a widower move on after losing the love of his life, is the most perfect picture on the list. In fact, it is perfect. Simply, beautifully perfectly perfect.

1) The adventure "required" to help at widower...

WTF?

2) It was a great movie, to be sure, but "perfectly perfect" might be pushing things.


I loved it, but it was far from perfect. I was disappointed by the development of the villain, for example. The Incredibles did a lot more with a lot less time in the villain department.
 
2009-08-20 03:38:03 PM
palladiate: The Icelander: He came offering those things if they'd swear allegiance to a god-king. Not so good of a deal if you ask me.

EVERYONE in Sparta had to submit to Leonidas I. EVERYONE. The only thing that had to happen was for Leonidas to submit to Xerxes, and they'd have been left pretty much alone like the rest of the Persian empire. And most historians, even early Greek historians, have been pretty impressed by their level of organization, structure, scientific advancement, attitudes toward freedom, amazing commerce and trade, and powerful army.

Leonidas had a chance to gain massive riches and fame by leveraging Spartan military discipline and strategy in the empire. Xerxes offered them peace three times, and held off at Thermopylae for two days trying to talk Leonidas out of defending the pass. Leonidas chose being Greek over being Persian. His choice to make as king, and a really, really ballsy move against an army that Herodotus called 2.5 million and history has put at over 1/2 a million (for logistics reasons alone). He faced the largest military the world could possibly field in his day, there is no question.

Xerxes was not a blood-thirsty man. He razed the three towns that fought him. Less than 1/3 of the city-states opposed Persian control, even before Xerxes had assembled his enormous army.

Not saying Leonidas was wrong. Just saying there's more than one way to look at it. But saying the Spartans were "free" is laughable. Sparta was no Athens.

And for the fact that this review missed the hugely important factor that Miller's storytelling is heavily French New Wave in it's construction (Sin City, with it's oddly-recurring dead-but-locked-in-ambiguous-time characters is textbook Nouvelle Vague), and that Miller was not ignorant of history and still decided to add drastic stylistic changes tells me he knows nothing of art. Miller purposefully told the story with Greek Irony, with a definitely modern twist.

He even has the audience by the balls. You're supposed to cheer for the bloody Spartans. You're supposed to think their defiance was for freedom, not for following a dictator. You're supposed to celebrate their destruction like it was a victory (the movie somewhat dampened the effect with the narration). And you're supposed to be a vile and bad person for having doing so.

Miller exhausts many people with this kind of rampant irony. It's all over his works like some kind of Auteur Bukakke. Yes Miller, we know, we know. But, somehow, this dickbag didn't get that. Completely oblivious to any message Miller was oh-so-cleverly trying to send across, Mr Nolte here just thought it was about these freedom-loving, democracy-having, chest-heaving, nipple-glistening, ass-patting wonderboys going over there to that desert and killing some Iraqis. Or Iranians. Or whatever, those liberal brown people. In effect, he became the target of Miller's irony like a second man in a double-penetration video taking an unexpected load on the face.


This is awesome. I actually held back from buying 300 because I didn't really want to participate in any kind of political battle. Thanks for clearing it up for me.
 
2009-08-20 03:38:20 PM
robertblake: Wait... didn't Batman catch the Joker at the end of Dark Knight?

How is that like Bush?


And he refused to kill him, unlike Bush who was very clear that he was more than ok with killing Osama outright.
 
2009-08-20 03:40:16 PM
robertblake: Wait... didn't Batman catch the Joker at the end of Dark Knight?

How is that like Bush?


He did catch Hussein (the other one).
 
2009-08-20 03:41:09 PM
museamused: The Icelander: palladiate: I'm very much of the opinion that Superman is the conservative dream.

If this were true he'd be a plumber, not a reporter.

From what I can tell, Clark Kent is a piss-poor reporter. He doesn't dig up any facts. He doesn't expose corrupt politicians. He doesn't bring to light any conspiracies... perhaps Superman IS the conservative dream. Or any politician's dream, for that matter.


Explain his ongoing feud with Lex Luthor, then. If anything, Superman is only super until he takes on Luthor, who is Republican Incarnate.
 
2009-08-20 03:47:51 PM
I read the article for the LULZ....I left satisfied
 
2009-08-20 03:50:26 PM
Sir Vanderhoot: I loved it, but it was far from perfect. I was disappointed by the development of the villain, for example. The Incredibles did a lot more with a lot less time in the villain department.

The film didn't really need the villain, and it would have been better if they got rid of it. It was the most touching and emotional animated movie ever
 
2009-08-20 03:51:36 PM
3. The Dark Knight (2008) - Watching liberal critics gush over a not-so-thinly disguised thank you to President Bush and then harumph and find fault after conservatives calmly explained what this epic of action, character and allegory is really about, was nearly as much fun as the movie.

Batman and the Joker are about the fundamental struggle between order and chaos. Batman is not a legal force in any way - he operates outside of it. Batman is not a conservative in the comics. In any way. Note to author of article: Get high after you write the article, not before.
 
2009-08-20 03:54:47 PM
Do we need one of these every 2-3 months?

February 13, 2009

June 1, 2009
 
2009-08-20 03:56:15 PM
One Bad Apple: It's been done, Supes looses.

/"In all your time, in all your most private moments I want you to remember my hand at your throat...I want you to remember the one man who beat you"


Oh please. Sure, one writer contrived some ridiculous bullshiat. But if these dudes actually existed (which is in and of itself, absurd)and were in the same place at the same time Supes could just wink at Batman and melt him with heat vision in a nanosecond with the open eye while digging his panties out of his crack and scratching his balls with the other hand. I still can't believe anyone even has this conversation anymore. Hell, as soon as Batman takes his hand off his throat he could freakin' turn back time and kill him before it happened the first time. I'm not a big Superman dude, but damn that's an absurd hypothetical.
 
2009-08-20 04:06:01 PM
snuff3r: hubiestubert: As a Republican

People still admit to that?


At a bar I frequent, there is a guy who always tells his buddies when they're heading somewhere else: "Last one there's a Democrat!"

hurrr durrrrrr
 
2009-08-20 04:09:20 PM
AuntNotAnt: ...it took me this long to realize that "conservative" or anything like it appears nowhere but one or two of the film descriptions. This is a conservative's...top fifteen movies.

Yeah,really. Poorly worded headline aimed at creating a reaction. And it worked, so maybe it wasn't so poor...

hubiestubert: As a Republican, I don't choose my films to fit an ideology.

Perhaps this critic is missing the point that he no doubt would make about movies being "politically correct."

If you feel the need to call yourself a Conservative before your party affiliation, then maybe you shouldn't be in the party. You serve ideology over nation, and that is killing the party, and it's dividing the nation. Try putting the "republic" back into Republican, and then come and talk to me you partisan blind idiotic zealot...


Well said.

snuff3r: hubiestubert: As a Republican

People still admit to that?


Yes. I do. You should have read all of hubiestubert's post. ;>

WFern: Concerning The Dark Knight:

1. Torture was ineffective and the "wiretap" program was dismantled. Not to mention the anti-death penalty theme.

2. That being said, if you get your politics from a film about a man dressing up as a bat to fight criminals with karate, you fail as a human being.


I think you're on to something there, I enjoyed the movie but I didn't come away from it wanting to shout, "GOP! GOP!" like a good late 80s Chuck Norris movie might aspire to invoke, but I came away with TDK's message being more anti-President Bush. I thought Alfred's tale of chasing the bandit in Burma was a strong message about current Middle East struggles, epspecially when it came to dealing with an insurgent force.

sip111: The list is projection.

Probably not an accurate representation of the world, as much as its an accurate representation of how this guy thinks.

Unless, of course, the writer of batman comes out an states that batman means were purposely made as an analogy to George Bush's.


Which won't happen. How a movie sits with someone sometimes doesn't match what the filmmaker may have intended. Remember how Forrest Gump was held up as a great "Conservative movie?" and the FIRST thing that the producer said when they won the Oscar was, "THIS IS NOT A CONSERVATIVE MOVIE!!" He practically shouted that, he was such a rush to get that message out there. But that's how some people took the movie. I read a critic who thought Independece Day was "anti-Immigration, anti-Mexican" and I always shook my head on that one. Different people see different things in movies and it's pretty stupid to hold something up as a standard or example of an entire way of thinking.

shubai33: jbailey22: It doesn't matter who is right or left idealogically- the only thing that matters is WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT? the answer is obviously superman.

Wrong


But if Batman didn't know Superman was coming after him....what chance would he stand? If Supes just had it and flew to Gotham intending to just punch Batman to New Jerey the first second he saw him, how could Batman be prepared for that? Yeah, he's got some stuff in the ultility belt, if he got the chance to use it. My feeling was that the other superheros probably feared Batman, because they figured he had a plan for all of them. And that Batman could handle just about anyone, if he got the chance to prepare. But if the Superman or Wonder Women or Ironman or Spider-Man or such just showed up and clocked him, Batman would probably be toast.


And the only time the voice bothered me in TDK was at the end with the line about the "good people of Gotham" and the two ships. Maybe because Batman's face was so well lit when he said it and it looked so forced.
 
2009-08-20 04:12:24 PM
JohnBigBootay: One Bad Apple: It's been done, Supes looses.

/"In all your time, in all your most private moments I want you to remember my hand at your throat...I want you to remember the one man who beat you"

Oh please. Sure, one writer contrived some ridiculous bullshiat. But if these dudes actually existed (which is in and of itself, absurd)and were in the same place at the same time Supes could just wink at Batman and melt him with heat vision in a nanosecond with the open eye while digging his panties out of his crack and scratching his balls with the other hand. I still can't believe anyone even has this conversation anymore. Hell, as soon as Batman takes his hand off his throat he could freakin' turn back time and kill him before it happened the first time. I'm not a big Superman dude, but damn that's an absurd hypothetical.


That was fantastic!
 
2009-08-20 04:19:13 PM
JohnBigBootay: Oh please. Sure, one writer contrived some ridiculous bullshiat. But if these dudes actually existed (which is in and of itself, absurd)and were in the same place at the same time Supes could just wink at Batman and melt him with heat vision in a nanosecond with the open eye while digging his panties out of his crack and scratching his balls with the other hand. I still can't believe anyone even has this conversation anymore. Hell, as soon as Batman takes his hand off his throat he could freakin' turn back time and kill him before it happened the first time. I'm not a big Superman dude, but damn that's an absurd hypothetical.

Superman is strong, but pretty stupid. Batman, on the other hand, is brilliant, and downright vicious. I have no problem believing that he'd come up with a plan to deal with Supes, and be able to carry it out. Supes wouldn't see it coming.
 
2009-08-20 04:22:05 PM
JohnBigBootay: One Bad Apple: It's been done, Supes looses.

/"In all your time, in all your most private moments I want you to remember my hand at your throat...I want you to remember the one man who beat you"

Oh please. Sure, one writer contrived some ridiculous bullshiat. But if these dudes actually existed (which is in and of itself, absurd)and were in the same place at the same time Supes could just wink at Batman and melt him with heat vision in a nanosecond with the open eye while digging his panties out of his crack and scratching his balls with the other hand. I still can't believe anyone even has this conversation anymore. Hell, as soon as Batman takes his hand off his throat he could freakin' turn back time and kill him before it happened the first time. I'm not a big Superman dude, but damn that's an absurd hypothetical.


Geek rant:
The problem with your hypothesis is that Superman WOULDN'T do those things, even though he could. There's a reason bats calls him the Big Blue Boy Scout. That reason also happens to be a major aspect of Superman's motivation and why people can continue to relate to him even though he's easily the "strongest" DC character, and an alien.
Batman, on the other hand, has a file on every hero in the JLA which includes a dossier on their strengths and weaknesses. He also has several plans ready to implement should he need to take any other hero out. Bush was more like Mysterio, using smoke and mirrors to project power whilst not actually being all that effective. (mixing universes, I know...)
Rant Off.

/Batman is a scary f***er
 
2009-08-20 04:22:46 PM
I Said: Is the author really that wrong about Dark Knight? The cell phone - sonar set up seems to be a pretty solid reference to warrantless wiretapping.

Perhaps. But Bruce Wayne knew the technology was too powerful and wrong. Which is why he took the power to use it out of his own hands.
 
2009-08-20 04:23:29 PM
Yeah, but Ginger is definitely hotter than Maryann and Samantha would totally kick Jeannie's ass (although Serena would wipe the floor with both of them).
 
2009-08-20 04:25:25 PM
JohnBigBootay: One Bad Apple: It's been done, Supes looses.

/"In all your time, in all your most private moments I want you to remember my hand at your throat...I want you to remember the one man who beat you"

Oh please. Sure, one writer contrived some ridiculous bullshiat. But if these dudes actually existed (which is in and of itself, absurd)and were in the same place at the same time Supes could just wink at Batman and melt him with heat vision in a nanosecond with the open eye while digging his panties out of his crack and scratching his balls with the other hand. I still can't believe anyone even has this conversation anymore. Hell, as soon as Batman takes his hand off his throat he could freakin' turn back time and kill him before it happened the first time. I'm not a big Superman dude, but damn that's an absurd hypothetical.


Dude, Batman's got a plan for pretty much everything. He's got a plan for taking down anyone he works with if the need arises. He's got at least a dozen for how to take out Supes if he ever went rogue. He is Crazy Prepared (new window).

\Comic book hypothetical showdowns. Serious business.
 
2009-08-20 04:27:35 PM
Pseudowolf: \Comic book hypothetical showdowns. Serious business.

Indeed. Daredevil vs The Flash (new window)

Match-up 2 comes out tomorrow.
 
2009-08-20 04:34:59 PM
Your_Huckleberry: But if the Superman or Wonder Women or Ironman or Spider-Man or such just showed up and clocked him, Batman would probably be toast.

Wonder Woman is damn near as invincible as superman. She would toy with batman.
 
2009-08-20 04:36:32 PM
JohnBigBootay: Your_Huckleberry: But if the Superman or Wonder Women or Ironman or Spider-Man or such just showed up and clocked him, Batman would probably be toast.

Wonder Woman is damn near as invincible as superman. She would toy with batman.


That image is strangly hot.....
 
2009-08-20 04:42:18 PM
Hebalo: The important thing to remember here is that
Mange/Anime is pretty much a genre for the retarded


I don't consider anime' a genre, but rather a stylistic choice, like making a movie in black and white instead of color, or using CGI. There are plenty of crappy anime' stories, but you can't equate Grave of the Fireflies or Barefoot Gen or Whisper of the Heart with Dragonball Z or Pokemon. That would be like saying All Quiet on the Western Front and Paths of Glory are war movies made in black and white, so they are no different from Duck Soup or Doughboys.

But taste is a relative thing, so feel free to spit out that which other people find delightful. Just try not to spit it in their faces.
 
2009-08-20 04:45:46 PM
Your_Huckleberry:

That image is strangly hot.....


thegirlrevolution.com
Strangly!
 
2009-08-20 04:46:15 PM
sevon: oldebayer:
Spirited Away


Can someone please explain the appeal of that flick? I'm all for art house flicks or anime or whatever it was SUPPOSED to me, but I found it overall just insanely boring.



Wow, I thought it was just me. I love animation but I tried watching that movie three damn times and never got all the way through.
 
2009-08-20 04:49:01 PM
The Icelander: palladiate: I'm very much of the opinion that Superman is the conservative dream.

If this were true he'd be a plumber, not a reporter.


Superman has condescending contempt for his Clark Kent alterego. That's why he plays him as such a naive wimp and coward. The common-man reporter is not idolized in Super Man he is ridiculed.
 
2009-08-20 04:49:11 PM
bighasbeen: Do we need one of these every 2-3 months?

February 13, 2009

June 1, 2009


Sign me up for at least one every month.
 
2009-08-20 04:49:31 PM
oldebayer: Hebalo: The important thing to remember here is that
Mange/Anime is pretty much a genre for the retarded

I don't consider anime' a genre, but rather a stylistic choice, like making a movie in black and white instead of color, or using CGI. There are plenty of crappy anime' stories, but you can't equate Grave of the Fireflies or Barefoot Gen or Whisper of the Heart with Dragonball Z or Pokemon. That would be like saying All Quiet on the Western Front and Paths of Glory are war movies made in black and white, so they are no different from Duck Soup or Doughboys.

But taste is a relative thing, so feel free to spit out that which other people find delightful. Just try not to spit it in their faces.


Just linking on, my brother, not necessarily my opinion.
 
2009-08-20 04:56:53 PM
Pseudowolf: Dude, Batman's got a plan for pretty much everything. He's got a plan for taking down anyone he works with if the need arises. He's got at least a dozen for how to take out Supes if he ever went rogue. He is Crazy Prepared (new window).

\Comic book hypothetical showdowns. Serious business.


Because he's a comic book character I'll give him a ghost of a chance if he gets a lot of notice and the element of surprise. If they both have equal notice, i.e. a fair fight, he certainly has no chance whatsoever. For fark's sake if nothing else Superman could just fly into space and take a nap until the old farker dies at which point Supes will still be 30 and have a huge kak made of steel. It's a fun exercise and I'll say one could give Batman his due and dream up some scenarios in which he could make it interesting. But the dude is made of flesh and blood - a drunk fat guy could kill him with a piece of pipe and a lucky swing and in fact he's been rendered unconscious by mortals many, many times so I think Superman is gonna get the job done the vast majority of the time. Yes, Batman is well-prepared. I just don't see that trumping a dude who can fly faster than the speed of light or survive a nuclear bomb blast... though one could certainly dream up the occasional scenario wherein it was possible. And Superman (who is a boring douchebag) is NOT dumb. In fact he's supposed to be the world's SECOND greatest detective. So, superman gave batman the magic bullet in case he went crazy. Did Batman give superman a magic anything in case Batman went crazy? No. Because Superman could just blow on him and freeze him, heat-vision the dead corpse up into a thousand perfectly symmetrical cubes, then deposit them into 200 school lunches in each of the 50 states before they even got to the anal scene in the Krypton porn crystal back at the fortress of solitude.
 
2009-08-20 04:57:37 PM
Kembada: Hebalo: imashark: Batman runs afowl (no pun intended) of the police when his methods are too violent.

Superman runs afowl of public opinion when he loses his temper.

No pun intended, none achieved.

The word is afoul. Unless they're fighting chickens.

CHICKENS, you said?! WAHH-WAHHH-WAHHH-WAHHHHHH!


Sorry, my spellcheck seems to have been infiltrated by the Penguin it seems.

Otherwise, why would he be laughing at me on Fark...?
 
2009-08-20 04:59:56 PM
Your_Huckleberry: That image is strangly hot.....

You should really read this then...

Link (new window)
 
2009-08-20 05:02:32 PM
Mystic River overrated?

FAIL.
 
2009-08-20 05:04:59 PM
JohnBigBootay: Because he's a comic book character I'll give him a ghost of a chance if he gets a lot of notice and the element of surprise. If they both have equal notice, i.e. a fair fight, he certainly has no chance whatsoever. For fark's sake if nothing else Superman could just fly into space and take a nap until the old farker dies at which point Supes will still be 30 and have a huge kak made of steel. It's a fun exercise and I'll say one could give Batman his due and dream up some scenarios in which he could make it interesting. But the dude is made of flesh and blood - a drunk fat guy could kill him with a piece of pipe and a lucky swing and in fact he's been rendered unconscious by mortals many, many times so I think Superman is gonna get the job done the vast majority of the time. Yes, Batman is well-prepared. I just don't see that trumping a dude who can fly faster than the speed of light or survive a nuclear bomb blast... though one could certainly dream up the occasional scenario wherein it was possible. And Superman (who is a boring douchebag) is NOT dumb. In fact he's supposed to be the world's SECOND greatest detective. So, superman gave batman the magic bullet in case he went crazy. Did Batman give superman a magic anything in case Batman went crazy? No. Because Superman could just blow on him and freeze him, heat-vision the dead corpse up into a thousand perfectly symmetrical cubes, then deposit them into 200 school lunches in each of the 50 states before they even got to the anal scene in the Krypton porn crystal back at the fortress of solitude.

You talk like you know, but you don't know. Batman is SO much smarter than Superman that they're not even on the same scale. By the time Superman realized Batman needed to be taken down, Batman would have been planning for months, weeks, possibly years. Batman is 3 moves ahead of you, all the time. It's not even fair how much more savage Batman is, how he'd dissect Superman before Superman even realized it was going on.

Besides, Batman's no fool (clearly). He'd create a situation whereby he convinces Wonder Woman that Supes is crazy, and must be stopped, and get her to do it for him. If he couldn't take her, he'd go to Green Lantern, and accuse her of killing Superman. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
 
2009-08-20 05:07:39 PM
palladiate: I'd argue the other way.

Interesting interpretation. I can see your point of view except for when you consider the targets of each character's justice. DC's characters for a large part maintain their identity through their villainous foils, and the rogues galleries of each is illuminating.

Batman's enemies are mostly criminals, to the point that they are "criminally insane individuals" who take freedom to the extreme, like the joker.

Superman's enemies include Lex Luthor (interpreted as either mad intelligent man bent on world order/domination or greedy corporatist) and alien/outsider fugitive menaces.

Supes as far as I can remember has many, many alien friends and pets whereas Batman can't seem to get along with anyone, even his close friends - and has one type of pet. Bats.
 
2009-08-20 05:09:13 PM
FlashHarry: sarah silverman: "that movie 300? turns out how they got that title was they measured how gay it was on a scale of one to ten"

isn't quoting quotes awesome?
robchia.com
 
2009-08-20 05:10:43 PM
7th Son of a 7th Son: Mystic River overrated?

FAIL.


Most Sean Penn movies are
 
2009-08-20 05:15:47 PM
Am I the only person that hated The Assassination of Jesse James? Am I the only person that was screaming at the screen for Ford to hurry up and shoot this guy so I can go watch something else? Am I the only person that refuses to put it on the movie shelf of "Movies for friends to borrow" lest one of my true friends happens to grab it and be trapped for hours in the most boring movie I've watched since the Thin Red Line remake?

/probably
 
2009-08-20 05:15:50 PM
Are we dealing with Pre or Post crisis superman?
One can survive in space and turn back time and one cannot. We need common ground for this argument
 
2009-08-20 05:20:27 PM
Kipple: Am I the only person that hated The Assassination of Jesse James? Am I the only person that was screaming at the screen for Ford to hurry up and shoot this guy so I can go watch something else? Am I the only person that refuses to put it on the movie shelf of "Movies for friends to borrow" lest one of my true friends happens to grab it and be trapped for hours in the most boring movie I've watched since the Thin Red Line remake?

/probably


As mentioned earlier, no, you are not.

/and my wife didnt like it either
//it was more boring, and gayer, than Brokeback Mountain
 
2009-08-20 05:23:23 PM
imashark:
Batman ... has one type of pet. Bats.


Robin?
 
2009-08-20 05:27:03 PM
bhcompy: 7th Son of a 7th Son: Mystic River overrated?

FAIL.

Most Sean Penn movies are


Whoa. I respectfully disagree. Fantastic flick.
 
2009-08-20 05:30:30 PM
FarkinNortherner: [satire]?

If anything, The Dark Knight explores the darkness that comes when the lawmen are as lawless as the criminals.


I was kind of disappointed that the right wing didn't notice their kindred spirit Rorschach. Rorschach's writings and thoughs indicate a ultra right wing Glen Beck type. Imagine if Glen Beck was a superhero... imagine that and cringe.
 
2009-08-20 05:41:53 PM
Hebalo: Besides, Batman's no fool (clearly). He'd create a situation whereby he convinces Wonder Woman that Supes is crazy, and must be stopped, and get her to do it for him. If he couldn't take her, he'd go to Green Lantern, and accuse her of killing Superman. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Again, we need to define terms. I'd agree that Batman MIGHT have a chance if he can count on a lot of lead time to cook up some crazy scheme. But if they're just playing bocce ball one day and Batman pisses Superman off on the spur of the moment he'd be melted, frozen, or crushed into an extremely tiny diamond before he could even get Wonder Woman on the bat phone.
 
2009-08-20 05:43:08 PM
bhcompy: Kipple: Am I the only person that hated The Assassination of Jesse James? Am I the only person that was screaming at the screen for Ford to hurry up and shoot this guy so I can go watch something else? Am I the only person that refuses to put it on the movie shelf of "Movies for friends to borrow" lest one of my true friends happens to grab it and be trapped for hours in the most boring movie I've watched since the Thin Red Line remake?

/probably

As mentioned earlier, no, you are not.

/and my wife didnt like it either
//it was more boring, and gayer, than Brokeback Mountain


Thank grief. I was beginning to wonder. Everyone loves it. And for me, I rather get my teeth pulled that watch it.
 
2009-08-20 05:52:28 PM
where was Red Dawn on this list?
 
2009-08-20 05:53:02 PM
That's a awesome site to troll since you don't need a membership to post
Me:
None of those movies showed any political leaning
/300 was as gay as a 3 dollar bill
 
2009-08-20 06:35:36 PM
drjekel_mrhyde: That's a awesome site to troll since you don't need a membership to post
Me:
None of those movies showed any political leaning
/300 was as gay queer as a 3 dollar bill


FTFY
 
2009-08-20 06:49:41 PM
FarkinNortherner 2009-08-20 08:42:09 AM [satire]? If anything, The Dark Knight explores the darkness that comes when the lawmen are as lawless as the criminals.
=====================================

DING!

Yeah, in fact, in batman begins it was shown as a good idea. In the dark knight... it backfired HORRIBLY. Hopefully it'll be pretty much what the 3rd film is about.

/Btw, how many times is fark going to post this?
//We've posted the top '10' or top '15' conservative films probably 6 times. And I've laughed at them all 6 times.
 
2009-08-20 06:56:05 PM
Ratatouille??!!!

A rat wants to eat French food?

The French are conservative?

The stupid is strong with this one, padawan.
 
2009-08-20 07:00:23 PM
Kipple: Thank grief. I was beginning to wonder. Everyone loves it. And for me, I rather get my teeth pulled that watch it.

Seriously, and with 3:10 to Yuma released the same month and a million times more entertaining, I should have just left it at that instead of listening to Fark movie elitists and going to see it
 
2009-08-20 07:05:34 PM
Hebalo: No pun intended, none achieved.

The word is afoul. Unless they're fighting chickens.


I am more concerned that he thinks a bat is a bird, actually...
 
2009-08-20 07:31:02 PM
I'm already seeing a lot of white-power assholes bad-talking District 9 because they believe it paints white people as villains, among other things.

Seriously. One guy referred to the aliens as "negr0es" and boiled his whole review down to believing that the movie was ONLY saying "racism is bad", and that "white guilt" was why it was so highly regarded.

Right now, it looks like the majority of people who hate District 9 are racists who think it's an anti-racism movie (It's not. It's about greed, power, corporatism, and control over the poor), and people who are just plain dumb and don't like to read subtitles.
 
2009-08-20 07:39:39 PM
Hebalo: Superman is strong, but pretty stupid. Batman, on the other hand, is brilliant, and downright vicious. I have no problem believing that he'd come up with a plan to deal with Supes, and be able to carry it out. Supes wouldn't see it coming.

Well, considering that Batman is DEAD (Bruce is, anyway) that whole "he's brilliant" thing is out the window. Dick is smart, but he's no Bruce.

And frankly, I think Spider-Man could kick Batman's ass. If they have time to prepare, Parker is a better scientist than Wayne (limited mostly by money), and I'm sure he'd come up with something to counter Batman's technology.

But in a straight fight, if he thought Aunt May's life was on the line and that Batman was a murdering terrorist, Spider-Man would turn Batman's head into a stain. Never forget: Pete pulls his punches, but if he lets loose, he can muster enough behind a punch to hurt the Hulk.

Of course, what's really interesting is that thanks to recent lawsuits much of Superman (as a character) will cease to be DC's property in 2012, and old-school Superman could end up being sold to Marvel if the Siegel/Schuster estates decide to screw over Warner Bros/DC.

Superman may some day be an Avenger.
 
2009-08-20 07:50:00 PM
bullshiat. read what you like into the movie but they are not what you want them to be just because you try hard to be delusional. i hate these lists. Up? UP?!?!?
 
2009-08-20 08:25:03 PM
teto85: Ratatouille??!!!

A rat wants to eat French food?

The French are conservative?

The stupid is strong with this one, padawan.


Actually the stupid is strong with Subby. The writer never claimed that these were 15 conservative movies.
 
2009-08-20 08:39:17 PM
Stay Cool Babylon: bhcompy: 7th Son of a 7th Son: Mystic River overrated?

FAIL.

Most Sean Penn movies are

Whoa. I respectfully disagree. Fantastic flick.


I disrespectfully disagree. The movie was crap. Boring, turgid, self-inflated, pointless crap. I've only ever wanted to leave a theater for tree movies: The Black Hole, The Phantom Menace and Mystic River.
 
2009-08-20 08:59:07 PM
snuff3r: hubiestubert: As a Republican

People still admit to that?


I do. I have been a Republican. I still am, though at this point, it feels like bailing a leaky political boat. Perhaps if folks weren't so quick to jump ship and call themselves something else, and had the courage to stand up to blowhards who seem to dominate the party conversations, we might have a party that actually put the needs of the republic first, and stood for keeping the republic together--instead of these People Without Party who want the GOP to stand for Gods, Guns and Glory, before the good of the nation.

That is part of the problem. In order to be The Big Tent Party, we deliberately looked for dissatisfied Democrats who weren't down with this whole "integration" thing. People who feared the sea change of looking at the Constitution before the Bible. Who have only hot button issues, as opposed to political philosophy. Our leadership cobbled together this over-leaning tower instead of a platform, and now it's carrying on by its own weight, and pushed on by these one topic, or not quite Republicans, who like to think that their Libertarian "leanings" are Conservative in nature--when in fact they represent a radical philosophy that undercuts the Constitution, and undercuts the needs and future of the republic.

That is what we NEED in my party. More Republicans. Less Conservatives. Less Moderates. Less Progressives. We need a unified party that looks to the needs of the nation, and looks to the need of the citizen, and seeks NOT to preserve private profit, but looks to the future, period. To look to the future health of that pesky republic that some seem so unnerved by.

Republicans have been at the forefront, historically, at the preservation of our form of government. We took that as our name, and it's time that folks were reminded of that.

Not the Conservative Party. Not the God Party. Republicans. It's right there. If you don't trust the government, then why are you in the party that's supposed to preserve that government?

A strong military is a means to keep the nation secure. Investment in proper free markets--and not the grossly protected version that many corporatists-who-call-themselves-Republicans yearn for, despite that the gross inefficiency and blatant market manipulations have damaged our economy--has been to look to the economic security and fairness in our system. A strong judiciary to keep watch over the Constitution, and make sure that we legislate fairly is essential to the long term health of the nation. Immigration has long been how we have grown as a nation--and making sure that we live up Emma Lazarus' words at the foot of Lady Liberty:

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"


Efficient taxation--which isn't tax cuts all the time kids--looks to the health of the nation. Regulation of goods and services for fairness in the market, and the safety of the populace. Fairness and safety. They can be balanced, and that is what we used to stand for.

We can again, but it's going to take folks who don't put Conservative first, instead of nation.
 
2009-08-20 09:36:09 PM
hubiestubert: As a Republican, I don't choose my films to fit an ideology.

Perhaps this critic is missing the point that he no doubt would make about movies being "politically correct."

If you feel the need to call yourself a Conservative before your party affiliation, then maybe you shouldn't be in the party. You serve ideology over nation, and that is killing the party, and it's dividing the nation. Try putting the "republic" back into Republican, and then come and talk to me you partisan blind idiotic zealot...


Can I vote for you?
 
2009-08-20 09:39:09 PM
hubiestubert: snuff3r: hubiestubert: As a Republican

People still admit to that?

I do. I have been a Republican. I still am, though at this point, it feels like bailing a leaky political boat. Perhaps if folks weren't so quick to jump ship and call themselves something else, and had the courage to stand up to blowhards who seem to dominate the party conversations, we might have a party that actually put the needs of the republic first, and stood for keeping the republic together--instead of these People Without Party who want the GOP to stand for Gods, Guns and Glory, before the good of the nation.

That is part of the problem. In order to be The Big Tent Party, we deliberately looked for dissatisfied Democrats who weren't down with this whole "integration" thing. People who feared the sea change of looking at the Constitution before the Bible. Who have only hot button issues, as opposed to political philosophy. Our leadership cobbled together this over-leaning tower instead of a platform, and now it's carrying on by its own weight, and pushed on by these one topic, or not quite Republicans, who like to think that their Libertarian "leanings" are Conservative in nature--when in fact they represent a radical philosophy that undercuts the Constitution, and undercuts the needs and future of the republic.

That is what we NEED in my party. More Republicans. Less Conservatives. Less Moderates. Less Progressives. We need a unified party that looks to the needs of the nation, and looks to the need of the citizen, and seeks NOT to preserve private profit, but looks to the future, period. To look to the future health of that pesky republic that some seem so unnerved by.

Republicans have been at the forefront, historically, at the preservation of our form of government. We took that as our name, and it's time that folks were reminded of that.

Not the Conservative Party. Not the God Party. Republicans. It's right there. If you don't trust the government, then why are you in the party that's supposed to preserve that government?

A strong military is a means to keep the nation secure. Investment in proper free markets--and not the grossly protected version that many corporatists-who-call-themselves-Republicans yearn for, despite that the gross inefficiency and blatant market manipulations have damaged our economy--has been to look to the economic security and fairness in our system. A strong judiciary to keep watch over the Constitution, and make sure that we legislate fairly is essential to the long term health of the nation. Immigration has long been how we have grown as a nation--and making sure that we live up Emma Lazarus' words at the foot of Lady Liberty:

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Efficient taxation--which isn't tax cuts all the time kids--looks to the health of the nation. Regulation of goods and services for fairness in the market, and the safety of the populace. Fairness and safety. They can be balanced, and that is what we used to stand for.

We can again, but it's going to take folks who don't put Conservative first, instead of nation.


In other words you are a Democrat.
 
2009-08-20 09:47:36 PM
Hebalo: Pseudowolf: \Comic book hypothetical showdowns. Serious business.

Indeed. Daredevil vs The Flash (new window)

Match-up 2 comes out tomorrow.


Daredevil Vs. The Flash? Aside from being from different universes...why? Why would you even do that to Double D? First of all, I cannot conceive of a likely situation in which they would fight. And if they did fight...look, Daredevil is my favorite superhero. I love his depth, his pathos, and I think that his powers are cool. The Flash would destroy him in less than a second. I mean, the only people that wouldn't get instantly decimated by the Flash are other speedsters and guys he just couldn't hurt. Punch, say, the Hulk 10,000 times in three seconds and you're just gonna piss him off more.

Then again, I don't think I've ever actually read a single issue of The Flash. My knowledge of him is entirely from other series, and I rarely read mainstream DC continuity that doesn't involve Batman, anyway. Is there any possible way that Daredevil could beat him? I mean, he could sneak up on him, sure, but other than that...
 
2009-08-20 09:49:46 PM
I've only ever wanted to leave a theater for tree movies: The Black Hole, The Phantom Menace and Mystic River.

I, personally, feel the same way about flower movies. Magnolia and American Beauty come instantly to mind.


Hebalo: Batman is SO much smarter than Superman that they're not even on the same scale.

Oh yeah? I recall a Superman comic where he was being tested by aliens to see if he was worthy, and the intelligence test had him put in a cage and told he had to escape without using any of his superpowers. He eventually figured out that the only way to do this was if the door were unlocked, and it was. Let's see Batman figure THAT out!

/I was really impressed by this. I think I was twelve. And yeah, Batman would have figured it out, too.
 
2009-08-20 09:55:59 PM
Hang On Voltaire: In other words you are a Democrat.

Why am I not surprised you would say that?
 
2009-08-20 10:15:35 PM
oldebayer: I've only ever wanted to leave a theater for tree movies: The Black Hole, The Phantom Menace and Mystic River.

I, personally, feel the same way about flower movies. Magnolia and American Beauty come instantly to mind.


Hebalo: Batman is SO much smarter than Superman that they're not even on the same scale.

Oh yeah? I recall a Superman comic where he was being tested by aliens to see if he was worthy, and the intelligence test had him put in a cage and told he had to escape without using any of his superpowers. He eventually figured out that the only way to do this was if the door were unlocked, and it was. Let's see Batman figure THAT out!

/I was really impressed by this. I think I was twelve. And yeah, Batman would have figured it out, too.


Given time to plan and analyze his opponent, there is nobody that Batman cannot defeat in combat. Batman isn't just brilliant, he is totally driven. He's driven on the same level as the Punisher, except with ethics. He doesn't do this because he wants to, he does it because he HAS to. Because he is compelled, to quote Watchmen. He's devoted every minute of every day since the death of his parents to bettering himself physically, psychologically, intellectually. He trained under great escape artists, studied at the monasteries of warrior-priests, associated with the most brilliant computer programmers and scientists in the world. He studies constantly.

Like I said, every second of every day is devoted to his mission. Superman has friends. Superman has a lover. Superman thinks of himself as Clark Kent. Batman has nothing but Batman. It is the entirety of his existence. He has people that he associates with, yeah. He even cares about Alfred. But if the choice was Alfred or the Mission...well, Alfred is farked.

So, yeah, I'm pretty sure Bats would win. What with the kryptonite ring and all.

Does he still have that?
 
2009-08-20 10:18:47 PM
Hang On Voltaire: In other words you are a Democrat.

Not so much. But the party leadership has shifted, and pushes folks who used to be considered Conservative further from the center, and now out to the edge.
 
2009-08-20 11:18:46 PM
The Icelander: I'm not saying Spartans were free. I'm saying Sparta was free. And even the Athenians weren't that liberated. They owned slaves and women couldn't vote.

The people of the Persian Empire were more free than the Spartans. Cyrus, Darius and Xerxes all granted a large degree of cultural and religious freedom in exchange for fealty and contribution to the Persian army.
 
2009-08-20 11:23:29 PM
Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
 
2009-08-20 11:25:17 PM
hubiestubert: Hang On Voltaire: In other words you are a Democrat.

Not so much.


If trash like Hang On Voltaire is saying you don't belong in the same party as he does, you're doing something right.
 
2009-08-21 12:00:21 AM
I Said: Is the author really that wrong about Dark Knight? The cell phone - sonar set up seems to be a pretty solid reference to warrantless wiretapping.

And the movie took the position that it was wrong.
 
2009-08-21 12:03:55 AM
wiredmaverick: Is this the Joker=Socialism argument? Because that really confuses the hell out of me.

Don't you remember the Joker's main goal? To overtax the rich in order to create social programs to help the lazy, shiftless, poor welfare queens. It was so obvious!
 
2009-08-21 12:06:11 AM
sip111: The list is projection.

Probably not an accurate representation of the world, as much as its an accurate representation of how this guy thinks.

Unless, of course, the writer of batman comes out an states that batman means were purposely made as an analogy to George Bush's.


George Bush was such an embarassment, that the only way they can defend him is to make unsubstantiated claims that he made himself into the bad guy on purpose, in order to protect us all, just like Batman. Even though a true leader should be like Harvey Dent was in the beginning. It's exactly as stupid as it sounds.
 
2009-08-21 12:12:30 AM
The Why Not Guy: hubiestubert: Hang On Voltaire: In other words you are a Democrat.

Not so much.

If trash like Hang On Voltaire is saying you don't belong in the same party as he does, you're doing something right.


I always get a kick when Neoconservatives trash talk how anyone who still hasn't gotten with their program isn't a real Conservative. It's funny, since theirs is a radicalized agenda that has already proven itself as disastrous as when George Bush called it "Voodoo Economics"...

We have allowed the NeoCons to have their day, and we are suffering for it. Economically, domestically, in foreign affairs, with ridiculous military boondoggles that have done little for our defense, and wasted tax payer dollars, and still they want to wave the patriot's flag.

This is why I point to radicals who call themselves "Conservatives" the real RINOs.

Bankrupting the nation and crippling our states apparently isn't enough, they have to poison the party of Lincoln, and even Goldwater was disgusted by the move towards the Neocon and Southern Strategy.

Congrats, kids. You "won" and now we're soaking in it, and the only consolation I have, is that things have played out exactly like folks have been warning from within the party for years. Nice job, you farking morons. Keep patting yourselves on the back...
 
2009-08-21 12:16:31 AM
Mentat: The Icelander: I'm not saying Spartans were free. I'm saying Sparta was free. And even the Athenians weren't that liberated. They owned slaves and women couldn't vote.

The people of the Persian Empire were more free than the Spartans. Cyrus, Darius and Xerxes all granted a large degree of cultural and religious freedom in exchange for fealty and contribution to the Persian army.


When you pay for it, it's not really freedom, just sayin
 
2009-08-21 12:57:05 AM
Assassination of Jesse James was a horrible movie, and Casey Affleck did a terrible job in it.

I went into it expecting a decent show, and had been pumped up by it by reading about the actual story.. my God I've rarely been so disappointed.
 
2009-08-21 01:00:00 AM
bhcompy: Mentat: The Icelander: I'm not saying Spartans were free. I'm saying Sparta was free. And even the Athenians weren't that liberated. They owned slaves and women couldn't vote.

The people of the Persian Empire were more free than the Spartans. Cyrus, Darius and Xerxes all granted a large degree of cultural and religious freedom in exchange for fealty and contribution to the Persian army.

When you pay for it, it's not really freedom, just sayin


Freedom isn't free? It's a stupid neocon axiom, but it has some merit. The men and women who work to be in power are very, very rarely in tune with the goals and hopes of the common person. They're too ambitious and too convinced that their ideas are right. We've fought a few wars against said people, the most relevant to this discussion being the Revolutionary War.

You give up your right to hit anyone you feel like, rape a woman you find attractive who doesn't want you, and to kill your kids if you don't like them when you live here. That's a cost, to some. It's not free. It's called "the social contract" for a reason.

It's certainly not free to the millions of men and women who've died to protect our freedoms, from the Revolutionary war to the idiot debacle of our current war.

If you don't pay for it, it's NOT freedom. It's either fascism or anarchy. Anarchy is said by some to be the ultimate freedom, but in the end it's pretty much like your third grade gym class. Forever. The strong ruling over the weak. Anarchy will never remain as anarchy because people have a need to be controlled, and to put people in positions of control over them. Anarchy is a transition stage.

That having been said, the Spartans were a horrible people who, themselves, were brutal enforcers of slavery. The population of Sparta was, like many greek City-States, funded by agricultural slavery, mostly by those taken prisoners of their constant wars. They called the slaved "helots," which essentially meant "serf," a slave tied to the land.

My favorite example of the Spartan treatment towards its slaves is the Krypteia, meaning "hidden" or "secret things." When a young Spartan man came of age, he would be sent into the countryside of the helots. He had already gone through the agog, one of the most comprehensive military training systems in all of history. Over a period of more than 13 years, was denied food and clothing so he would have to scrounge and steal, though he would be punished horribly should be be caught.

Upon being sent into the countryside where the slaves labored, he was given carte blanche to kill any helot he might come across in the pursuit of food and shelter. These attacks were not totally random, of course. If you were a helot giving a little trouble to your lord, you might have your door kicked in one night by a spartan teenager with a knife and a decade of training on how to kill people.

It was, essentially, terrorism. And it worked really, really well.
 
2009-08-21 01:10:30 AM
hubiestubert

This is why I point to radicals who call themselves "Conservatives" the real RINOs.


I believe this is a good spot for the "Do you have a newsletter to subscribe to?" tag. Well said by you.

singmetosleep

Given time to plan and analyze his opponent, there is nobody that Batman cannot defeat in combat. Batman isn't just brilliant, he is totally driven. He's driven on the same level as the Punisher, except with ethics. He doesn't do this because he wants to, he does it because he HAS to. Because he is compelled, to quote Watchmen. He's devoted every minute of every day since the death of his parents to bettering himself physically, psychologically, intellectually. He trained under great escape artists, studied at the monasteries of warrior-priests, associated with the most brilliant computer programmers and scientists in the world. He studies constantly.

Like I said, every second of every day is devoted to his mission. Superman has friends. Superman has a lover. Superman thinks of himself as Clark Kent. Batman has nothing but Batman. It is the entirety of his existence. He has people that he associates with, yeah. He even cares about Alfred. But if the choice was Alfred or the Mission...well, Alfred is farked.

So, yeah, I'm pretty sure Bats would win. What with the kryptonite ring and all.

Does he still have that?


Seems to me that the real comparison is not between Batman and Superman, or Batman and any super powered hero, but between Batman and the Punisher. Someone just as calculating and skilled as Batman, maybe not the great detective, but certainly a more dangerous person. I say that the Punisher-because of his skills and desposition- and Spider-Man-because of his intellect-would still have a chance against Batman even if Bats knew they were coming and had a plan for them.
 
2009-08-21 01:12:13 AM
First, the Spartans came off as cold, ignorant assholes. Which isn't too far from the truth. These guys were born and raised to kill. Were they potters? Were they stonecutters? Were they farmers? NO, THEY WERE SOLDIERS!

They came off as people in a strict society that wanted to defend their homes and were willing to die to do it.

The Spartans were run by corrupt pedophiles. Their leaders included rapists.

Historians are still debating whether Spartan pederasty involved sex. And rape was common among ALL ancient leaders. Just a problem of too much power.

The Spartans killed the messenger. That's not just shiatty, that's brutal. The man comes offering not only peace, but prosperity, power, and inclusion. The answer was a brutal death.

They killed someone who threatened their king and way of life by showing the consequences of not submitting to Xerxes. And the prosperity? He offered it to help encourage them so that it would be easier to convince others.

Speaking of the Persians, they took in the deformed and outcast Spartan child without recoiling in horror at his condition. Xerxes showed him compassion. The Persians were a HIGHLY inclusive group, with women generals seen, with hundreds of ethnicities, and liberal attitudes towards sex and intoxicants.

They hired a traitor so that they could defeat their enemies. Do you actually think Xerxes would have even been i the same room with Ephialtes if he didn't have the goat path to offer? They were an inclusive group because they conquered a large chunk of the known world and as king, he wanted a large harem and endless pleasure.

Xerxes was incredibly hospitable and tried to avert hostilities at every turn. He wasn't the one who built a wall out of corpses.

He wanted to make his conquering easier. Bribing a king to attempt to get him to submit to another's rule isn't hospitality, it's bribery. And it's called "intimidation".

And let's not forget that Herodotus told us, and got a lot of crap from Greeks for not being pro-Greek for saying, that the second Persian invasion was due to constant border disputes and fomented uprisings. Most of the Greek cities submitted eagerly and willingly, without military force. It was a few that were causing trouble for EVERYONE, including Sparta. The beligerence and breaking the peace was the Spartan's fault.

So, because they didn't want someone else controlling them and fought to avoid it, they were the problem? I can guess who you rooted for in WWII.

The Spartans were no heroes.

Yes they were.
 
2009-08-21 01:18:36 AM
This is my most favoritest thread ever.

/Seriously.
//Super shiatty day.
///Much needed lulz in thread.
 
2009-08-21 01:33:53 AM
Your_Huckleberry: Seems to me that the real comparison is not between Batman and Superman, or Batman and any super powered hero, but between Batman and the Punisher. Someone just as calculating and skilled as Batman, maybe not the great detective, but certainly a more dangerous person. I say that the Punisher-because of his skills and desposition- and Spider-Man-because of his intellect-would still have a chance against Batman even if Bats knew they were coming and had a plan for them.

The Punisher is neither as calculating nor as skilled as Batman. Their levels of commitment are similar, but that's about the only thing. A fight between Batman and the Punisher would be a joke. It would just be Bats beating the holy hell out of the Punisher and then taking him to jail (and yes, I know the Punisher beat Wolverine in a fight, by driving a steam roller over him - Batman would, given time to plan, own Wolverine). Also, the Punisher is more dangerous? Only because he plans to kill you. If Batman killed his foes, there's be a line of bodies from the Joker to Bane going down Gotham's longest street.

As far as Spiderman...Peter Parker is a scientific genius, and perhaps the greatest "natural" fighter in the comics world. Batman is the greatest detective the world has ever known, and one of the greatest human, non-mystical hand-to-hand combatants. Batman's technology is FAR superior to Spiderman's. If you dropped Bats and Spidy into a room, Spidy'd kick Bats' ass. But, like I said, Batman is near invincible given time to plan and analyze. He is..well, not the greatest tactician in comics, but one of the top three or four, as there are people who just do that.

Anyway, Batman is much, much smarter than Spiderman. Because he has to be. He can't cling to walls or punch through steel or hold up a building. He's just a guy in a world of people who can blow shiat up with their minds, so he HAS to be better than them.

The only edge Spidy would have would be the spider-sense, and nobody really knows how that works, anyway. He knows you're going to hit him, and where you're going to hit him, before you try to hit him. This, of course, can be overcome by simply not giving him any place to go. Hit him from all sides, make sure no escape is possible. Bats could easily draw Spidy into an area that had been set up specifically to combat Spiderman. He's done it before, with other foes.

He's just too damn smart to beat when he knows you're coming and knows who you are.
 
2009-08-21 01:57:29 AM
singmetosleep: Your_Huckleberry: Seems to me that the real comparison is not between Batman and Superman, or Batman and any super powered hero, but between Batman and the Punisher. Someone just as calculating and skilled as Batman, maybe not the great detective, but certainly a more dangerous person. I say that the Punisher-because of his skills and desposition- and Spider-Man-because of his intellect-would still have a chance against Batman even if Bats knew they were coming and had a plan for them.

The Punisher is neither as calculating nor as skilled as Batman. Their levels of commitment are similar, but that's about the only thing. A fight between Batman and the Punisher would be a joke. It would just be Bats beating the holy hell out of the Punisher and then taking him to jail (and yes, I know the Punisher beat Wolverine in a fight, by driving a steam roller over him - Batman would, given time to plan, own Wolverine). Also, the Punisher is more dangerous? Only because he plans to kill you. If Batman killed his foes, there's be a line of bodies from the Joker to Bane going down Gotham's longest street.

As far as Spiderman...Peter Parker is a scientific genius, and perhaps the greatest "natural" fighter in the comics world. Batman is the greatest detective the world has ever known, and one of the greatest human, non-mystical hand-to-hand combatants. Batman's technology is FAR superior to Spiderman's. If you dropped Bats and Spidy into a room, Spidy'd kick Bats' ass. But, like I said, Batman is near invincible given time to plan and analyze. He is..well, not the greatest tactician in comics, but one of the top three or four, as there are people who just do that.

Anyway, Batman is much, much smarter than Spiderman. Because he has to be. He can't cling to walls or punch through steel or hold up a building. He's just a guy in a world of people who can blow shiat up with their minds, so he HAS to be better than them.

The only edge Spidy would have would be the spider-sense, and nobody really knows how that works, anyway. He knows you're going to hit him, and where you're going to hit him, before you try to hit him. This, of course, can be overcome by simply not giving him any place to go. Hit him from all sides, make sure no escape is possible. Bats could easily draw Spidy into an area that had been set up specifically to combat Spiderman. He's done it before, with other foes.

He's just too damn smart to beat when he knows you're coming and knows who you are.


A joke? Hmmm.....
I'd give the Punisher a better chance than that, but it comes to opinion, I suppose. Probably depends on whose comic/movie this fight is taking place in....
 
2009-08-21 03:21:09 AM
palladiate: ignorantalmond: Anyone else notice that, after all the liberal bashing and pro-conservatism this dude put in his article, his "notable mentions" at the bottom has 28 Weeks Later? That whole damn movie was bashing Bush and the war... He states "thinly veiled" for the conservative message in The Dark Knight, but turns a blind eye to the message in 28 Weeks Later?

The fact that 28 Weeks Later was so abysmally bad probably has something to do with it.

It's the only zombie movie my wife has ever seen where she looked at me and said "that sucked" as we walked out. She said it made her hate zombie movies.

I told her to take off her "In case of zombie attack" t-shirt in protest as we were walking out of the theater, but all that did was make her hate me for a while as well.

Honestly, though, my wife is the movie equivalent of tone-deaf. She loved Transformers 2. She watches Sci-fi original movies. She rewatched The Core. If she felt as if the moving was condescendingly bad, it's achingly bad.


That's the thing that got me about the whole deal. The movie straight up sucked. The anti-war message ruined the entire deal... It just wasn't a good film after all the political lambasting was finished... And this douche has the audacity to toss it on his "I hate liberals" list? I mean... Christ... How the hell blind is he? He probably saw the message as "Oh, infected are Iraqi terrorists. And those are American soldiers! Yay!" and completely missed the part where they made it BLATANTLY obvious that the soldiers were recklessly killing because they had the opportunity to do so. It is no way a good film, but as political commentary, it leans WAYYYYYY to the left...

This guy needs to be lobotomized in the VERY near future...
 
2009-08-21 05:20:56 AM
"Also, everyone knows the media is liberal."

Uh, no, the media is corporate.
 
2009-08-21 11:23:01 AM
Hebalo: imashark: Batman runs afowl (no pun intended) of the police when his methods are too violent.

Superman runs afowl of public opinion when he loses his temper.

No pun intended, none achieved.

The word is afoul. Unless they're fighting chickens.


Little known fact: Bruce Wayne is the Michael Vick of Ostrich Racing.
 
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